It’s 6 in the morning and I hurriedly wear my habit and went to mother superior’s door. I didn’t even bother to do our morning rituals which is to pray, fix my beddings, take a bath, eat breakfast together with the other sisters and to clean the kitchen or wherever you’re assigned. I just went directly to her door.

I knock twice before she opens her door, rubbing her both eyes while yawning.

“Good morning mother superior. I’m sorry to bother you but I can’t help it but to talk this over to you,” I said not minding if she had brush her teeth already. I really have to say this as she was the only one I can run into here and also her, being the head here and yes, the mother of this monastery.

“Good morning Sister Taeyeon. Please spare me a time to groom myself,” she said so I left her and do my rituals. But it was 6 am already and she just wake up? I thought she was the first one to be awake and do the rituals for she is the mother superior? Hmmm, sometimes I just can’t understand what’s happening here since I am just a newborn.

I am Sister Kim Taeyeon, 26 years old and about four years living here inside the monastery for being a sister. I am studying about God and keeping my faith on him but sometimes, I just can’t stop myself from thinking over y things like if mother superior and the head priest here have a relationship. You know, I have that kind of attitude sometimes and I don’t know if where did I get it since I’ve lived here, as what they have said. Oh God, I’m sorry for the use of words, I just can’t explain and deliberate it in proper words that the readers can understand.

“Sister Taeyeon, what is it that you want to tell me?” she said as soon as I sit on the chair across her table. I am inside her office that was full of dusty books, old furnitures and creepy pictures of the past mother superiors. Someday, if I’ll become a mother superior, her picture will also be placed here. Ooops! Sarry!

She was looking at me inspecting my behavior.

“Uh, Mother, it’s been 4 years that I’ve been here but this is the first time that I am having these dreams.” She was just silent, signaling me to continue speaking. “A continuous dreams every night. A dream of me wearing short skirts, high heels, thick make-ups with brick-red lips. I was also dancing and singing there ‘til I am soaking wet with sweats inside a room that was mirrored wall. I also have a fancy silver, convertible car. I saw my dad, with my mom and my bestfriend and this blurry guy together with me,” I was saying this while looking to the emptiness of the air. Mother superior was attentively listening of what I am saying. The room was filled with silence, all that you can hear was the bushing of trees, the tweeting of birds and the streaming water of the fountain outside.

“And the strange thing mother is, I am pregnant,”

~o~

I was packing some of my stuff like underwears and other significant things to bring. After the talk earlier with Mother S, she gave me the permission to go out for 2 years in the monastery to find myself but I refused it, for I will just be away for a few months and I’m sure that I will be back in no time. I know that I am destined to be here, to offer my life to God.

Mother S called my dad and mom to fetch me up here tomorrow morning.

“Sister Taeyeon, I’m giving you this time to find your true self and to find the real inner peace in you. I won’t be disappointed if you will not come back here for everyone has its own decision in life. I’m giving you, you’re two year vacation to unwind and seek happiness.”

“No, no Mother, I’ll be back. I promise. I will just find the answer about my dreams, I don’t want something that bothers me,” I said as I held her hand.

A month will be enough, right? I can puzzle these messy pieces on my dreams. I’m sure my family will help me to get through it.

It was 8 in the morning and I am now pacing down to the corridor with my bag on my left hand. Mother S was walking with me and the other sisters were following us. They were all cheering me up for my happiness and I am really so thankful to have them in my life, I don’t need boys in my life, I have my family here that will not hurt me.

“Oh, there here,” Mother S pointed the 3 important people in my life. The people who I really love and care about. I really missed them so I run and hug him tight.

“I missed you so much, Dad,” I said while teary-eyed. “And ofcourse, I also missed you Mommy Soo,” I hug them both and we were like a happy family. They were visiting me every month here for the monastery is quite strict about visitors.

“Ehem, ehem,” he faked laugh and chuckled. I released from my parents hug and faced him.

He grins at me. That famous grin he always had that can kill a girl.

“And ofcourse, my love of my life,” I held his hands and hugged him tighter than my parents. You know, I always had this feeling towards him that no one can really explains. “I missed you so much my bestfriend! Don’t you have any schedules?”

“I cleared my day just for you,” he wittily said then winked at me.

“Should I be flattered that an idol cleared his day just for a nun?” I laughed then I bid goodbye to my sisters in the ministry.

We chitchat and stopped for lunch at some resto. We had a hard time to enter the place since there are lots of fans who saw my bestfriend. I also changed my clothes to the casual one since I am still wearing my uniform, the habit, in the monastery.

“Mom, I went outside the monastery for I have to find the answer or the reality in my dreams,” then I started saying if what is my dream about. And I noticed that they were all quiet and attentive, I can also sense my mom went uneasy.

It’s already seven pm and we just arrived from the mansion. My bestfriend took me off to my room and placed my bags. Imagine, I can control an idol.

I was laughing at him because he was sweating in the middle of the cooling aircon.

“You really like me that much ha?” I cracked and I really get his full attention.

“How can a nun say that?” I shrugged. I am not wearing my uniform so I am not a nun for awhile.

“Come’on! I am not that insensitive.”

“Okay, okay,” he just nodded. I can really feel that he likes me in I can’t explain manner. It’s just that, when I woke up in one morning and saw his face ducking on my bed, I knew, he likes me. “You know, you really change.”

“How come?”

“Because the Taeyeon I knew before will shout at me and say, ‘You and I are not applicable so get a life!” he said while mimicking a girl’s voice.

“You know, you’re the only one I can rely in to,” I said in formal voiced manner. “Please help me to find this truth over my dreams.” He stood up and went to my closet. My room is quite big and it surprised me ‘cause all my clothes were not just what I thought. They were all short dresses, and other y one, I also saw a red stiletto, I should wear it some time.

“What? You wanna wear this?” I laughed at him but he was just seriously looking up in between my closet. He saw a red button and press it then my closet separated from side to side. “Whoah, I didn’t know I have this.”

“You actually knows it, you just can’t remember.”

He switched on the lights and it gives its red color.

“This is your blood room,” he said then handed me a USB. “You wanna find the truth? Open that.”

And with that, I was really thankful that I had got into that accident.