Ok everyone.  I'm sorry it's taken me a while to update this but I want to say thank you for being patient and thank you to all of the new subscribers!  Today is Jiyongs-Knight's birthday so please go and wish her a happy birthday!  I have to rush off and go to work and I want to apologize for the grammer issues.  I will come back and fix them.  Thank you again.  And please please let me know what you think!!

You were right to expect more confrontations and you expected them from anyone close to Jiyong.  You were sure that the incident in the dance studio would more than likely spread like wildfire because of the large audience of trainees that had been present to observe it.  If he hadn’t heard about your return last night than you were positive that by the end of tonight Jiyong would know and an argument was sure to ensue.  You knew you weren’t ready for the way Jiyong would react, regardless of the many scenarios running through your mind.  One thing was for sure, you knew Jiyong would be angry and an angry Jiyong was always unpredictable.  You couldn’t prepare yourself for the confrontation with Jiyong but you were prepared for the other confrontations that were likely to appear.

The first one happened the next day on your way to the dance studio.  As expected, your nerves had gotten the best of you and you barely slept.  After a night full of tossing and turning, you finally got up and left a note for Melanie to meet you at the dance studio.  You had decided to work on the choreography that you had designed for the four girls and you just wanted to run through it one more time.  You had been making your way down the hallway towards the studio when you stopped in your tracks at the sight of two of Jiyong’s fellow band mates.  They hadn’t noticed you at first until the youngest looked up from the phone in his hand and he too stopped in his tracks.  You silently screamed to yourself when you saw Lee Seunghyun, otherwise known as Seungri, reach over and tug on the man next to him who was engrossed in what looked like an important telephone call.  You watched as the youngest tugged on the oldest band member again for his attention.

“What is it Seungri?” Seunghyun asked and scowled at the younger man, who was furiously pointing your way.  You looked down and tried to be as much of the wall as possible while wishing that they would just ignore you and walk past you. 

“It’s her,” Seungri hissed and you groaned.

“Huh,” you hear Seunghyun ask again and panic seized your body when you see him look up and glance to where Seungri was pointing.  You saw him eye you up and down and you knew the exact moment when he recognized you.  It was the minute his soft brown eyes hardened into dark pools of coal and you shuddered at the coldness in his eyes.  You watch as he wordlessly hung up the phone and slid it back into his pocket.  Guess it wasn’t that important of a phone call.  You shrank back as Seunghyun advanced towards you and Seungri silently followed behind.  You privately prayed that someone would interrupt this confrontation because you weren’t as ready as you thought you were.

“So the rumors are true,” he snarled at you.  “The heartbreaker has returned to Seoul.  What are you planning?  Hmmm?”

You are stunned at the controlled anger in Seunghyun’s voice.  You’ve never seen an angry side of Seunghyun nor has he ever spoken to you like that.  But times have changed haven’t they?  You straightened back your shoulders and stared at Seoul’s precious Choi Seunghyun.

“Why are you back?  What do you have in mind?  Do tell me.  Are you back to break his heart again?” he spits at you and you cringe.  “What? Was there no more hearts to break in America so you decided to come back here?  You should never have come back.”

“I’m here to do a job Seunghyun,” Seunghyun stared down at you with his cold eyes and you weren’t so easily intimidated so you stared back.

“Ha, a job?  A job with whom?”

“She’s working with us,” the two of you stopped and turned at the sound of a firm female voice coming from somewhere behind you.  You met the hard gazes of the four girls you had once know, the girls you had once danced with, the ones who once shared their dreams with you, the same four girls who had once called you their own family.  You stood there stuck in between the six of them and you found yourself questioning again if you had made the right decision.  You knew that this wasn’t going to be an easy thing but you didn’t think that this was going to be as difficult.

“She’s going to work with you guys?” Seungri asked and in response Lee Chaerin nodded.

“She’s working with us for our comeback next month,” Park Bom quietly answered.  You turned to stare at the girl who only got prettier as the years went by.

“We asked for her,” you hear Chaerin say and this time you were just as surprised as the two men.

“What?  Why?” Seungri asked.

“Because she’s one of the best out there and you know it’s true,” Chaerin answered before whispering. “Plus we need her and you know that’s true too.”

“He’s fine now,” Seungri responded back before narrowing his eyes on you.

What happened to him?  What happened after I left?  You felt your heart clench at the thought of Jiyong hurting and you knew that you had no right to worry about him.  You gave up that right four years ago when you got on that plane and left him but that didn’t stop you from worrying about him.  You wonder what they were referring to but no one cared to elaborate and you weren’t about to ask them to even if you wanted them to slip.

“But for how long?” you turn to the small girl behind Chaerin and saw that it was Sandara Park that had spoken.  She still looked very much like a child even though she was older than you and although you had known her for a short time.  For that short period of time, you saw the determination she had and you were glad that she had achieved her dream.

“He’s fine,” Seungri repeated again and pointed at you.  “He’s doing fine now and her being here is going to ruin it.”

“You know he hasn’t heard anything and you also know that he’s too busy with his new album,” Chaerin said.  “The only thing being ruined is our practice time.  So if you guys would please let us through, we have to go and work on our comeback.”

You allowed Chaerin to grab a hold of you and pulled you towards the dance studio, leaving two extremely shocked men behind.  Once the five of you were far enough away, you feel Chaerin’s grip on you loosen and you turn to look at her.  You see the anger in her eyes and you knew that the anger was meant for you.  You knew you were in for another tongue lashing and you braced yourself for it.

“There are a lot of people angry at you,” you hear her say as you reached the door of the dance studio and you followed the girls in.

“I know,” you say with a sigh as you sit down on the cushioned seats.  This was definitely not how you wanted the morning to go.

“You did really great in America,” you hear the youngest say softly and you turned to study her.  Minzy had really grown up to be very pretty and you could tell that at the tender age of seventeen, she was too mature for her age but that was what happened to children in this industry.  “You did really well for yourself.”

“You should have stayed,” Chaerin stated as she began to rummage through the bag she had brought and pulled out a water bottle.  “You would have been just as good if not better if you had stayed.  YG would’ve made sure you were the best.  You wouldn’t have had to leave then.”

“I had to.  I needed to prove it to myself.  I wouldn’t have been happy with myself if I had stayed,” you reasoned and Chaerin scoffed before taking a drink of water.

“Tell me something,” Sandara said and you look at the tiny girl that was curled up on the bench.  You watch the girl rest her head on her knees and looked back at you through the mirror.  “Are you happy now?  I mean, are you happy with your decision now?”

You’re taken aback by her question and you don’t know how to answer.  There had been many nights you had laid awake thinking about how it would have been if you hadn’t left and married Jiyong.  Would you have done what everyone around you had been telling you?  Would you have had kids by now?  How many?  Would you still be happy knowing that you never got to be a great dancer and to experience some of the things you had always wanted to experience?  Would you still have been happy with Jiyong?  You didn’t regret your decision and you’ve always reasoned with yourself that you had finally achieved your goal and you proved to those that had doubted you that they were wrong but proving them wrong didn’t necessarily make you happy.  Were you really happy?

“Well I got to travel the world and experience new things.”

“So do we,” you hear Chaerin respond back.  “The question was if you were happy with your decision.  So are you?”

You see Chaerin’s eyebrow raise and you looked down at your worn out sneakers.  “I…of…I…”

“I’m sorry I’m late, I over slept,” the five of you turned as the door to the dance studio opened revealing a worried Melanie.  You sighed in relief at the sight of her while the other four scowled at the interruption.  You silently thanked her for coming in when she did. 

“It’s ok,” you cheerfully said and jumped up off of the seat.  You introduced Melanie to the four girls and they politely greeted her back.  You ran to the computer and slipped in the music before turning to the girls and clapped your hands.  “Ok, let’s get started.”

………..

You wipe away the sweat on your forehead and take a drink from your water bottle before checking the time.  The time that had been booked for the studio was almost done and you knew that even without checking the clock because the girl’s chubby manager had been constantly checking his own watch and tapping his foot impatiently.  You rolled your eyes at the man as he checked his watch once again.  You only had another half an hour before your time was up and after two and a half hours of going through the choreography for their first title song, the girls still had a lot of work to do.  You turned and stretched before turning back to where the four girls were resting.  You listened to them talk amongst themselves as they quickly ran through the choreography again.

“So when the chorus is done, Bommie you have to move back and Minzy is going to come up.”

You shake your at the confusion written on Bom’s face as she tried to comprehend what Chaerin was trying to teach her.  Even after four years, Bom still had troubles dancing but she made up for it with her vocal range.  Her voice was heavenly and you had to admit that you had always been jealous at her ability to sing.  You giggle at the sight of the three other girls attempting to explain in detail only to have Bom pout and let out a loud huff before crossing her arms.

“I just don’t get it.  I’m not going to remember all of these steps,” she yells and you hear the frustration in her voice.   

“You’ll get it,” you say softly.  “We’ll just have to break it down and go slower.  Just means more practice.”

“No I’m not going to get it at all.”

“You will.  I promise.  Let’s go through it once more, ok?” you say before making it back onto the dance floor and waited until they all joined you.  “Melanie, turn on the camera.”

You stepped to the side and allowed the girls to view themselves fully in the mirror before flipping on the music.  The dance studio was filled with the music of their newest song and you tapped along with the beat.  Melanie stood on the bench behind the four girls; camera aimed on the mirror and followed their every move.  Your experienced eyes stayed on them as they went through the song once more before collapsing and waited for your criticism.

“You guys did better this time,” you said with an encouraging smile.  “A couple more times and it’ll be perfect.”

“Time to go,” you turn to see that their chubby manager tap on his watch and you laugh as you hear someone grunt in response.  You wonder who had booked the studio after the girls and as if to answer your question, the door to the dance studio opened and you feel the air rush out of your lungs at the sight of the man that walked through the door.  The silence in the room was deafening and you could cut the tension with a knife.  There standing in the door way, clutching his own bag and staring at you, stood Jiyong’s best friend, Dong Youngbae.  You feel their eyes focused on you and Youngbae and you knew that no one dared to move from their spots.

You see his eyes narrow and his lips were pressed together to form a thin angry line.  You looked away as you hear the manager clear his throat and for a second the tension in the room dissipated.  The girls took this opportunity to grab their bags and scurried their way out of the room but not before thanking you.  You see the angry tick in Youngbae’s jaw and for the second time you looked away as you felt a hand land on your shoulder.  Your eyes met a confused Melanie, you smile meekly at her and nod reassuringly at the question in her eyes.  She understood and nodded in response before turning around and picked up her own duffle bag, handed you the camera and found her way out of the dance studio.  You slowly walked yourself to the bench and began to gather up your things, you were fully aware that Youngbae’s eyes were following your every move. 

“You shouldn’t have come back,” Youngbae finally said, breaking the silence and you stopped what you were doing and turned to look at him.  “You should have stayed there.  You should have stayed away.”

You sigh at what he says and you go back to packing up your things.  It had not been the first time you heard it today but it didn’t stop the sting every time you heard it.  You zipped up the bag and slowly faced Jiyong’s best friend.  Youngbae had not moved from his spot by the door and you could see the anger brewing inside of him.  You had never seen Youngbae this angry and it hurt you to know that you were the reason for the anger.  You didn’t know what to say to Youngbae and so you stood there waiting for him to say something. 

“Four years,” he muttered angrily and you winced at the anger.  “Do you even know what you put him through?  Four years.”

“I’m sorry Youngbae,” you softly whispered.

“No.  Sorry just doesn’t make up for all those nights I stayed up listening to him cry over you.  Sorry doesn’t make up for the pain you’ve caused.  Sorry doesn’t make up for the times he’s asked me why he wasn’t good enough to make you stay.  Sorry doesn’t make up for the times he over worked himself just so he wouldn’t have to think about you.  Sorry doesn’t make up for the times he came home drunk asking for you.  Sorry just doesn’t cut it.”

“Youngbae-ah.”

“No.  You should’ve stayed away.  Four years ago you left him broken and beaten.  He’s finally in a place where he can smile again.  Stay away from him.  Do what you have to and when you’re done.  Leave.  Just leave him alone.”

“Youngbae…” you whispered quietly and you feel your heart beat painfully in your chest at the thought of all the pain you caused Jiyong and the ones who cared for him.  You sling your bag over your shoulder and make your way around a silent Youngbae.  You opened the studio door and leaned against the doorframe.  “I…”

“I don’t hate you, I really don’t.  At first I did but I understood why you did what you did.  Everyone has dreams they wish to achieve but there were other ways you could have gone about it and I’m happy to know that you did achieve your goals.  But I watched my best friend break because of you and I never want to see him hurt like that again so please.  Just stay away.”

………..

The heartbreaker has returned to Seoul…..You shouldn’t have come back….Are you back to break his heart again….You should’ve stayed away….Sorry just doesn’t cut it….Just stay away.

You tossed and turned in your bed as your memories of the day’s events replayed themselves through your mind and you questioned yourself if what they said was true.  You reach up and played with the simple diamond ring hanging from your neck as your mind wandered to Jiyong.  Should you have just stayed away?  Would have it been better if you had stayed away?  You tormented yourself with the same questions over and over and you begged for sleep to come and you cried out in frustration when you looked at the clock.  It was two forty five in the morning and for the second night in a row you had barely gotten any sleep.  Lucky for you though, the next dance practice wasn’t until that night because 2NE1 had a day packed full of filming and so you could sleep in for a bit.  That was if you could ever get to sleep and at the looks of it, you weren’t going to bed any time soon.

You should’ve stayed away.  Did they hate you that much?

You groaned again as the questions bombarded your mind once again.  Your gaze landed on the clock once again and you sigh.  Five minutes had only passed and your overtired body wanted to cry.  You remembered Yang Hyun Suk saying that the dance studio was always open for you and you needed to keep your mind distracted.  You sat up and swung your legs over the side of the bed and sunk your feet into the plush carpet.  You stretch the tiredness out of your body.  You throw on a bra, a sweater, a pair of loose sweat pants and washed up.  Walking out of your bathroom, you toss a towel into your bag along with a pack of CDs and slipped on a pair of your most comfortable shoes and quietly made your way out of your hotel suite.  You walk past Melanie’s hotel door and you rummage your bag for a slip of paper.  You settle for a receipt and you quickly scribble a note on it before slipping it underneath her door.  Couldn’t sleep, went to studio.  Be back later.  Call if you need anything.

You make your way down to the quiet hotel lobby and you ask the front desk person to call a cab for you.  You smile graciously at the man when he returns to tell you that they will be here in a few minutes and thank him before walking out of the hotel.  You breathe in the cold crisp air and you welcome the busy night life of Seoul and you realize how much you missed it.  You hear a group drunkenly laugh at a lame joke that was just told and you smile along with them.  You turn on your IPod and slip in an ear bud and patiently wait for the cab to arrive. 

“Hey there pretty girl,” you hear someone slur and you turned to see a very inebriated man eyeing you up.  You see him give you a toothy grin and wiggled his eyebrows at you.  You turn up the volume and proceeded to ignore the severely intoxicated man until your cab pulled up and you sighed in relief.  You gave the driver the address to the new YG building and he looked at you questioningly.  As the cab slowly pulled away you see the drunk man wave goodbye at you and you quietly laugh to yourself.  The ride to YG was quiet and you watched the busy streets of Seoul pass by until the cab pulled up to the gate that surrounded YG.  You show the security guard the badge that Yang Hyun Suk had given you and you see the cab driver look at you surprisingly before pulling up to the building door.  You thank the driver and pay him the toll before grabbing your bag and stepping out of the cab.

You made your way into the building and down to the dance studio and flipped on the lights. You sigh at the sight of an empty dance studio and you remember another smaller dance studio that had been neatly tucked underneath the old YG building.  You listen to your sneakers squeak along the polished wooden floor as you made your way to the computer.  You turn on the computer and it greeted you with a glow and you slip in one of the CDs you brought along with you.  You listen to the music fill the room and you welcome it and allow the music to overtake your body.

You step into the middle of the room and breath.  You let the music flow through your veins and your heart beat matches with the slow music beat.  You close your eyes and let your body move to the music.  You let the music soothe your worries and you try to clear your mind.  There is nothing but you, the music, the wooden floor beneath your moving feet and your feelings.  You let your emotions dance their way out of your body and you let your tears flow freely as his face appeared behind your closed eyes.  Are you happy now?

“No.  No I’m not,” you answer quietly to the question you had been asked earlier as the music slowly faded away and you open your eyes.  You wipe away the tears and look at yourself in the mirror.  You see a movement out of the corner of your eye and you turn around and you stop breathing. 

“Jiyong?”

You gasp at the sight of him standing there, by the door with his back to you and you blink again.  No, this wasn’t a dream.