"I'm Narumi.  I'm Jiyong's girlfriend.  Who are you?"  The gorgeous girl's question played itself on repeat through your mind and you frown.  You knew you should really be paying attention to the four girls going through their routine but you can't forget the sticky sweetness of Narumi's voice and it's making you a bit nauseous.  Prior to meeting Narumi, you had been mentally preparing yourself to the idea of Jiyong having another girlfriend.  But after meeting the so-called girlfriend, you had come to the realization that you weren't emotionally prepared to face that reality.  It was a painful reality knowing that Jiyong had found it in himself to move on when you still couldn't.

You really didn't remember much after meeting her except for mumbling something about being the choreographer hired to work with Jiyong and as much as you hated it, you remembered everything about Jiyong's new girlfriend.  Her image was forever burned into your memory and yet you couldn't find it in yourself to hate her. 

"Hey, shouldn't you be paying attention to us over here?" Bom's voice interrupted your thoughts and you're glad it did.  The cheer of fans can be heard as you watched her make her way through the maze of cameras, extension cords and people until she sat down beside you.

"I am," you lie smoothly with a smile.  "Don't think I didn't notice how you're about a step behind."

"Was not," she says with a pout.  "You're lying."

"I was watching," you exclaim, hoping she can't see that you're lying through your teeth.

"You may have been away for a long time but you haven't changed that much," she says while narrowing her eyes.  You fidget nervously while she stared at you.  "You forget that I used to know you like the back of my hand and your eye always twitches when you lie.  It's twitching right now so you must be lying."  You watched her raise her hand and point to the smooth back of her hand.

"Fine.  I was lying but you really are a step behind the others," you reply with a scowl.

"No one else noticed," she retorted and you do nothing but raise an eyebrow.  You know she's read the message conveyed with that one movement.  "Okay, I'll work on it.  Now what were you just thinking about?"

"Nothing," you quickly say, praying that she'd just happily accept that as an answer.

"Wow, you sure are such a liar today aren't you?  Now tell me.  What were you thinking about?" she says with a smirk.

"I wasn't thinking about anything.  Really!"

"How about you just quit lying and tell me what's on your mind?" she says smugly and you know you weren't going to get away with anything.

"Jiyong," you embarrassingly confess and by the shocked look on her pretty face, she had not been expecting that for an answer.  "And why you never mentioned that Jiyong had a girlfriend?"

"What?  Girlfriend?" she questions you.  "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb Bommie," you angrily pursed your lips.  Standing up from your seat in the corner of the studio, you begin searching for the three other members, your fingers automatically playing with the ring hanging around your neck.  "Don't you think I would've liked to know?  You know, just a quick mention would've been nice.  I really do understand that you guys want to keep information like this away from me after all I was the one who left."

"What are you going on about?"   Bom places a gentle hand on your shoulder, making you stop.  You meet her tender gaze and the anger inside of you dissipates.

"Jiyong's girlfriend," you say helplessly.  You know you shouldn't be so hurt about the fact that he had moved on but it really did hurt.  "You know the tall beautiful one with the big eyes, perfectly pointed nose and full lips."

"Narumi?" Bom whispered softly.

"Yes, Narumi," you repeat bitterly before looking around, hoping that she wouldn't noticed how uncomfortable this conversation was making you feel at the moment. 

"The model?" she asks incredulously.  You laugh to avoid acknowledging the burn in your chest.

"Model?  That would explain why she was so perfectly put together.  Where are the other three girls anyways?"

"Jiyong's back with her?"  You frown at her as she completely ignored your other question regarding her members.  With a huff, you turn away from the innocent beauty and make your way back to the girls' dressing room.  You immediately stop when you hear Bom call out your name.  "Hey wait.  I didn't know."

"It's all right Bommie.  I get it.  I really do.  I have no right to know what he's been up to since I left.  A heads up would've been appreciated but I'll be fine," you mumble while your heart died with that lie because in all honesty - you weren't fine at all.

"But I really didn't know that they got back together," she says as she matched your steps.  "The last I knew, they broke up.  Jiyong told me that they were better off as friends."

"Bommie does that look like they're just friends?" you ask underneath your breath as you opened up the dressing room door.  You continue to clutch to the ring around your neck and gave Bom a slight nod towards the loving couple cuddling on one of the couches in the loud bustling dressing room.

"But I didn't know," she hisses into your ear before one of the stylists called her over and you stood there stupidly. 

Gawking at the amazing beauty holding hands with Jiyong, you tuck the necklace back underneath your shirt and looked away.  You had expected him to be there for the girls.  What you had not expected was for him to bring the long legged creature with him.  Slipping through the crowds of people rushing around, you make your way towards the four sitting prettily in their perspective chairs while getting a touch up from their make-up artists.  Silently, you slid into an empty chair in between the four and meet Bom's concerned gaze in the mirror.  You give her a shrug in response to the question you read in her eyes.  You were fine.  Really.  You were.

Liar, she mouths to you and hate that she still knew you so well. 

"So, the rehearsal looked amazing," you say to the other three while ignoring the knowing look and smirk Bommie was currently throwing you. 

"But Bom missed a step, making her a step behind us," the youngest pointed out.

"Yah, I did not," the older one yelled only to have Minzy quickly respond.  You laugh and listened to the two bicker back and forth.  You tune them out as you look into the mirror and look past Bom.  Your gaze stopping on Jiyong softly whispering to the model's tiny ear.  You watched as she tightened her fingers around his before letting out a laugh.  It is infectious and you find yourself smiling along with them.  For a split second you wish you could be a part of their happiness, sharing their inside joke or rather that it was you he was making laugh.  Jiyong always had a way of making you laugh and jealousy coursed through you.  You missed those times.

Your heart stills as you watched the slender fingers you love, tap a silent beat on the sofa behind the model and it's mesmerizing to watch.  You continued to watch and follow as they caressed her neck and danced their way across her pale exposed shoulders before finding their resting spot on her arm as his thumb gently rubbed a circle on her soft skin.  Tearing your gaze from his fingers, you study Jiyong's girlfriend even though her beauty was already forever ingrained into your memory.

She was absolutely stunning with her long legs and thin frame.  Her skin was smooth, flawless, pale and looked soft to the touch.  Today, her dark hair is perfectly styled.  It was cut short into a layered bob and rested just below her sharp jaw line while her bangs were swept to the side - framing her small face.  Scowling, you remember the messy ponytail you had managed to throw your hair into while rushing out of the hotel room that morning before the sun even rose.  You continue on examining the beauty.  Her eyes were large and they reminded you of melted chocolate.  They were eyes that someone could drown in if they stared long enough.  Her nose was small and suited her delicate facial structure.  She had cheekbones that only enhanced her beauty while her lips were pink and full.

Feeling the hair on the back of your neck standing straight up, you stop your studying and look up to meet Jiyong's unreadable gaze in the mirror.  You had once prided yourself for being able to read his thoughts but now you found it a difficult thing to do.  You stare back at him and into his dark eyes.  A shiver runs through you as you remember the kiss that was shared in Teddy's studio less than a week ago.  Nervously, you break eye contact with Jiyong and look away.  Picking up your phone, you busy yourself and send a quick text to Jonathan asking if Chris and Melanie had gotten on their flight safely.  You know you shouldn't but you can't help it and sneaked a glance into the mirror once more.  You're taken aback to find Jiyong still staring at you, nodding quietly, pretending to listen to whatever his precious girlfriend was saying.  The only difference this time is that you can read his dark eyes.  They're cold and full of anger.  Anger meant for only you.  Once again, you're transported back to the night of the kiss and recall what he had hissed.

I'm going to make you feel the pain I felt.  I'm going to make you hurt like you hurt me.

Jumping from your seat, you're pulled away from your thoughts as the phone in your lap begins to vibrate.  Looking down you realize that Jonathan was calling you and you quickly answer - thankful for the distraction from Jiyong's cold, angry eyes.

……..

You watch the four girls as they go through their next song and you make mental notes on what they needed to work on.  Bom is a step behind once again during the chorus; Dara is too far to the right - leaving a large telling gap between her and Minzy.  You spy Chaerin stumbling slightly in the killer heels she has on and she stopped for a second which made her miss a step and it completely threw her off.  Even the youngest was looking from side to side, making sure she was where she was supposed to be and that she's lined up with the other girls.

They're nervous and you can tell.  They were stiff while each move was thought about and calculated.  They didn't make these kinds of mistakes during rehearsal but who wouldn't be nervous?  There were at least a hundred fans surrounding the stage, screaming with excitement.  Not only did they have to deal with remembering the choreography and song lyrics, there are about fifty cameras zoomed in on each of the girls.  Hell, even you were nervous for them.  Luckily, this performance was being taped therefore these tiny imperfections can be fixed.

Shifting from one foot to the other, you nervously wait until the song is finished and you call the four girls over.  Exhausted, they shuffle over to you and sit with legs dangling over the side of the stage and you can hear the fans behind you get even louder.  Although they're exhausted, they're feeding off of their fan's energy and you see them happily wave to them before huddling closer to you in order to hear what you had to say.

"Alright, I know that you guys are nervous but I need you guys to focus.  There were a few mistakes but it'll be fine.  We can fix them," you reassure them with a smile.  "Bom, you're thinking too much and trying to remember every step.  You already know them so don't think about it too much.  The minute you think about the steps, you start to slow down and it makes you a second behind everyone."

"Okay," she says with a frown and knitted eyebrows.

"Dara, you're pretty good.  The only thing I've noticed is that once you're done with your part, you step back in line but you're too far to the right.  There's too big of a gap between you and Minzy which is throwing the backup dancers off.  Chaerin," you frown looking down at her extremely high heels and you wince at the amount of pain she was probably in.  "Are you comfortable in those shoes?"

"Yes," she frowns in return while answering you.  "Why?"

"I was just wondering because you stumbled over them."  She shrugs embarrassingly.  "Alright then, if you stumble again, don't stop.  Just keep moving."

"Okay."

"Minzy-ah, you need to stop worrying about whether or not you are in line.  You're glancing back and forth."  She's nodding with a look of embarrassment and you feel bad for being so harsh in pointing out their mistakes.  "I'm sorry you guys.  Just go out there, relax and have fun.  Okay?  Don't be so nervous, it's showing in your performance.  Remember, you guys are strong and fierce, nothing like the other flowery girl groups."  You smile once more, hoping that it'd cheer them up a bit.  Sadly, it did nothing to calm their anxiousness.

"Yeah," they all say meekly before shuffling away to the PD.  Sitting back down beside the stage, you watch the four girls listen to the older man and fiddle with your fingers.

Flicking the screen of your phone, you read the time and frown.  It was a quarter after nine in the evening and the girls weren't close to being done with filming.  Everyone had been at the SBS building since early morning and it looked like it was going to be a long night.

Your body was complaining from the lack of sleep you've had, thanks to the revelation that Jiyong had moved on and you were still stuck reliving old memories.  It didn't help that everyone was anxious with 2NE1's comeback, the long day of filming and the added stress of knowing that Jiyong was there with his new girlfriend.  You hadn't seen the said man but just knowing that he was still hanging around bothered you immensely.  You weren't ready to face him since you had rushed out of Teddy's studio after meeting his new girlfriend.

Your body was stiff and you want to move, unfortunately you needed to keep an eye on the girls and the backup dancers.  You roll your shoulders and stretch, letting out a grateful groan of pleasure as your muscles loosened and you close your eyes - enjoying the feeling.

"They must be exhausted.  I don't know how they do it."  A chill runs through you as the sweet voice interrupted your stretch.  Though you know who it was spoke, you open your eyes to find Narumi sitting beside you.  She had her hands clasped in her lap and gazing at you with her bright eyes.  You're relieved to find that she's without Jiyong.

"H-hello."  You're a stuttering mess.  This is the first time today you've noticed the outfit she's wearing.  She's beautiful in her plain white off the shoulder t-shirt, designer jeans and heels.  Sitting beside her, you can't help but feel dowdy in your too large sweater, faded jeans and sneakers.  You don't know what more to say to her and all you do is offer her a weak smile before picking at the imaginary lint on your jeans.

"You're amazing at what you do."  Taken aback by the compliment, you look up and stare at the gorgeous girl.  "I'm glad you're working with Jiyong for his comeback.  He's followed your career rather closely and he's been wanting to work with you."

Before you could even find your voice to ask her what she had meant by that remark, a loud cheer erupted through the fans as the four girls return to their positions on the stage.  There's a mixture of emotions building up inside of you and it's beginning to cause a dull pain in the pit of your stomach.  Wincing slightly, you ignore the ache and divert all your attention to watching the four girls glide across the decorated stage.  You're glad to see that they've loosened up a bit and their performance is less calculated.  They go through the entire song and your eyes never leave them and for that instant you forget all about ex-boyfriends and their super hot Model girlfriends.

……..

Walking down the long corridor back to the dressing room, you blend into the group of people following the four girls.  It was quarter after one in the morning and you couldn't understand why it took so many times to get the perfect performance.  Of course you want their comeback stage to be amazing but did they really need to all the right angles and the correct shots?  You had lost count how many times they had gone through the song.  They had nailed the choreography by their second performance and you had found yourself relaxing slightly while monitoring them.  It was hard watching them while their energy was slowly draining down to nothing.  In between the short breaks they were allowed, you often found them staring off in to space with a vacant stare and gradually they stop talking.  They're exhausted and they were in for another packed day.  You can't help but wonder how they managed to keep up with a schedule as harsh as theirs.  Much to your dismay, you had hit your second wind and you're b with energy.  Your fingers dance across the hallway walls as you leisurely make your way to the dressing room while others were rushing by.

"Baby, are you ready to go home?  You look tired."  You don't need to know who spoke from somewhere behind you.  You'd recognize that voice anywhere and as if by second nature you turn around in the hallway to answer the soft question.  Your blood runs cold at the realization that Jiyong wasn't speaking to you but to his girlfriend, the Model.  You quickly catch yourself before you could answer.  Whipping around, you blush a deep red and ignore the loving look she gave him along with a nod.  "Let's go home then."

"Okay," you hear Narumi answer back softly and you feel as if you had trespassed onto private territory.  Intruding and tainting their moment of love with your mere presence.  You had witnessed something you didn't want to see.  Glancing backwards, you're glad to see them walking away towards another exit.  He's on the phone and their hands are intertwined. 

The ache in the bottom of your stomach is back and the pain intensifies as it spikes through your body, clenching your heart savagely, leaving nothing but dust in its path of destruction.  Bracing a sweaty palm on the wall, you find it hard to breath as the wind is knocked out of you and the pain continued to rip through you.  Your other hand is clutching your stomach and you try hard to bite back the moan of anguish wanting to come out.  The threat of tears is blinding you momentarily and you blink them away.

"A-are you okay?"  The male voice is soft, full of worry and you still as you recognize the tender voice.  Looking up, you are face to face with an old friend.  An old confidant with the heart of an angel and a smile to match.  Although right now, there is a frown and concern etched on his angelic face.  "Noona?"

"D-Daesung?"  It's barely above a whisper but it echoes through the quiet hallway as if you had screamed it.  You see him reach out for you and you give him a shake of your head.  You didn't  want anyone touching you right now.  "I'm fine."  It's a lie and you know he can see right through it.  You were never a good liar.

"Daesung?  What's wrong?"  It's Bom and you wince as she screams out your name.  She comes into your line of vision and there's complete panic written on her face.  "What happened?  Why are you so pale?  Are you sick?  Are you in pain?  Why...what...what?"

"I'm fine.  Bom, I'm okay."  Your voice is shaky and you're trying very hard to conceal the fact that you're still attempting to catch your breath.  Plastering a fake smile on your face and hope that she'll believe your lie.  "Are you leaving now?"

"No but we'll be leaving in a bit.  Just waiting on the others to finish up changing and everything's packed."

"Oh," you whisper in disappointment and the pain spikes again causing you to groan quietly.  Once again you hear Bom shriek your name and the quiet Daesung is holding onto your elbow.  His touch is gentle but firm and you don't have the energy to shrug it off.  "It's okay.  I-I just have a headache.  It has been a long day and I didn't get much sleep last night.  I'll be fine.  It's nothing a little Ibuprofen and rest can't take care of."

"Daesung was just going to leave.  He'll take you home too."  .  You look up to see a silent conversation being exchanged between the two of them.  "Right, Daesung?"

"Of course.  I'll be more than happy to take you home.  You're still at the hotel right?"

"I'm fine now.  Really.  I don't want Daesung to go out of his way.  I can wait until you guys are finished."  You silently hope that she'd let this pass.

"Really, it isn't an inconvenience.  I'm actually heading back to the YG building and the hotel is nearby.  I can make a stop," he reassures you with that smile of his and you knew you were backed up into a corner.

"There, everything is taken care of and Daesung is taking you home," Bom says with a huff before throwing you a better-not-argue-with-me glare.  "Understand?"

"Fine."  You glare back at the pretty singer and allowed Daesung to guide you out of SBS building by the elbow.  It isn't until the two of you are in the parking lot that you gently tug and he lets go.  "You really don't have to do this Daesung-ah."  You're whispering quietly into the dark but continue following his shadow.  He stays silent the entire walk to his car and you nervously chew on your bottom lip.  He opens the passenger side door and holds it open making you stop.  You stare into the darkness at his unreadable stare.  "Daesung..."

"I want to."  His answer is quick and it cuts you off.  He gives you a heartwarming smile and it makes you feel safe.  He will always be the smiling angel with a heart of gold.  He was still the same - soft spoken and kind.  You offer him an unsure smile as you slide into his car and wait patiently as he walked around the car and slid into the driver seat.

There's a soothing song softly playing when he starts the car and you close your eyes, allowing the music to calm the emotions raging inside of you.  Neither of you speak as you feel him back out of the parking spot and navigate through the parking lot.  With your eyes still closed, you rest your elbow on the window and palm your heavy head.  It's a calming effect feeling the car move while the stereo continued to play a mix of relaxing songs.  You mentally sort through the muddle of feelings turning around inside of you. 

There's a painful fist around your heart, clenching it every time you think about Jiyong and his model girlfriend.  There's an anxiousness eating you up inside as you remember that you'll be working with Jiyong in less than a week.  Being in the same room as Jiyong was already difficult enough.  Working with him over a span of two months was going to be nerve wrecking and you weren't sure you'd be able to survive it.  Jealousy is coursing through you and you know it's because it seemed to you that Jiyong had moved on so easily - as if you leaving wasn't an issue at all.  But then what about his album?  Teddy had claimed it was an outlet for his emotions and as much as you had wanted to.  You couldn't seem to make yourself finish listening to the album.  Jumbled in the mess of emotions is a burning anger at yourself, yet you couldn't exactly place a finger on what you were exactly angry about.   

On top of all the other feelings was a sense of confusion.  With that confusion, you remember what Narumi had stated earlier that day as she complimented you.  I'm glad you're working with Jiyong for his comeback.  He's followed your career rather closely and he's been wanting to work with you.  What did she mean by that comment?  Was she telling the truth?  Jiyong wouldn't do such a thing as follow you.  Would he?  You scowl as more questions piled up inside of you.  Questions that needed to be answered and you were itching to ask anyone.  You crack an eye open and stare at the young man driving.

"It's been a long time hasn't it noona?" he murmurs.  He throws you a smile that throws you completely off guard.  You watch his eyes crinkle and disappear with his smile and you throw one back in reply.  "How do you feel?"

"I feel haunted."  You let the thought slip out before you can stop yourself and you let out a gasp.  You study Daesung for a reaction.  He does nothing but look at you.

"Haunted?  By what?"

"Memories.  It's always a memory that haunts me."  You quickly answer hoping he takes that as the hint that you're finished with the discussion.  He gives you a nod and you know he got it.  You're grateful he did because you really didn't want to elaborate. 

"Are you feeling better than before?"  His voice is very much like him; deep, soft and gentle.  There's a warning in the look he gives you that says you better be completely honest with him.

"A bit."  You fidget uncomfortably in the seat and play with your fingers.  You hate how these people know you so well but you had spent a lot of time with them.   Regardless of what others said about Daesung, you had always knew he'd grow up and be good looking.  In your opinion, he was one of the best looking guys you knew.  Handsome or not, you were confused by the way he was treating you and you knew you had to ask him.  "Daesung-ah."

"Hmmm?"  He his head your way as if to confirm that he is listening to you even though he's focused on the road before him.

"Shouldn't you be angry at me too?"  Turning away, you can't bear to look in his eyes.  You didn't want to see the hatred in them if he was indeed angry with you.  Instead you look out the window onto the empty sidewalks and closed store fronts.

"Should I be?"

"Everyone else is," you answer with a shrug of your shoulders and you're once again taken aback, this time  by the loud sigh that comes out of the younger man.  You feel him nudge you slightly with his elbow and you purse your lips before looking back at him.  He's focused on the empty road and you can tell he's lost in a thought of his own.  You don't want to bother him and you return to gazing out the window.

"I was," his words interrupt your own thoughts and you turn to look at him.  "I'm not mad anymore but I was.  After you left I was angry at you.  You have to understand it's not easy watching the people you care about hurting and not know how to help them.  Seeing Jiyong struggle was something new to all of us and knowing that you were the reason why.  We automatically turned our anger on you.  We just couldn't understand how you could just walk away.  After you left, Jiyong, he was always busy.  You know how he is.  He overworked himself until he was too exhausted to think.  When you left, we had just started promotions for Haru Haru.  If he wasn't performing with us then he was either locked up in the studio with Teddy or in his room working on his solo album.  He didn't want to talk about it.  He still doesn't want to talk about.  But when Heartbreaker came out, he laid it all out there in that album.  Have you heard it?  His album?"

"Only one song," you whisper softly.  "Butterfly."  Daesung does nothing but give you a slight nod and you can't read the look on his face.

"He wrote the lyrics to every song on that album.  You should listen to the rest of it.  Why haven't you listened to it."

"I've just been busy."  Liar.

"Been too busy or you just don't want to?"  You scowl knowing that he had you pegged.

"It's not that I don't want to.  I really do."

"Then what's the issue?"

"I'm scared."  You slowly exhale the breath you were holding as you admit the truth.  "I'm terrified actually.  Scared of what's on that album.  I mean it's titled Heartbreaker.  I already know I hurt him and as if I didn't know.  I'm constantly reminded by everyone at YG that I broke his heart.  I'm already lost in a sea of regrets, guilt and memories.  I'm petrified of  what those songs are going to tell me.  I'm scared that it'll break me and drag me further into this dark place I've been in since I left."

Silence engulfs the two of you and it's tense in the car.  Too tense in your opinion and you wished Daesung would say something to break the tone you had set.  This was the first time you ever voiced your thoughts on listening to the rest of Jiyong's album.  It felt good to tell someone but now you're more concerned of how Daesung would respond to your revelation.

"Why didn't you come back then?" he murmured.  You're positive it's a question everyone was dying to ask you.

"Because I had already left.  I-I couldn't face Jiyong yet.  Not until I was something.  I had made the decision to leave and that I wouldn't return until I had made something of myself.  By myself.  I needed to prove that I could do it by myself."

"Prove to who?  We all knew that you'd be someone someday.  Who did you need to prove it to?"

"To everyone who doubted me but more than anything.  I needed to prove it to myself.  I needed to know that I could do it without Jiyong's help.  Plus it doesn't look like he waited," you mutter the last part underneath your breath. 

The hotel comes into your view and you welcome the sight of it.  You want nothing more than to crawl into the big fluffy bed and never leave it.  Thankfully, the girls don't need you for the rest of the day so you would be able to sleep in and the thought sounded wonderful.  You barely wait for Daesung to pull up to the hotel before jumping out.  With the car door still open you bend down and look at the handsome young man.

"Thank you for taking me home Daesung."

"You're welcome noona.  I'm glad you're back.  It was good seeing you although you should smile more.  It's sad seeing you scowl all the time."

"I'll try Daesung," you reply before throwing him a tired smile.  You give him a small wave goodbye and begin to close the door only to hear him call out your name.  Bending down once more, you your head.  "Yes?"

"I really don't know if I really should tell you this."  Knitting your brows in confusion, you watch as he hesitated and you're slightly amused at the internal battle playing through his facial expressions.

"Tell me what Daesung?"

"You should really listen to the album.  He waited.  Jiyong-hyung.  He waited for you.  Maybe he will always wait for you."

I know it's been a long time but I finally got my laptop back!!!  Thank you so much for being so patient.