Sungkyu's POV 

We're going to film a variety show today. Sistar will be filming with us. My nerves are racking my brain cells. She will be there. I have never entered in any relationship after Bora and she ended ours. She ended it... Yeah... Cause i never agreed to it.

It's very surreal. Those times we've been together seems like it was just yesterday. The pain is still fresh from when she asked for us to break up. It was a couple of months before our debut.

"Can we talk?" she said the moment she sat down. I am in front of my computer when she arrived. I just got home from practice and i sent her a message that I’ll be home today. It's been 7 months since we last met and every time we do, it's becoming more and more awkward.

"Here. Sit here." I motioned for her to sit next to me.

"You know we will not be able to date once we debut right?"

"We can do it in secret."

"Fans will not be as forgiving."

I sighed as I thought of what she wants to tell me.

"Babe..." I called out with a pained voice.

"Sungkyu-ah... You know we can't... Even if our agen cies allow it, we won't be able to do so if we want to succeed. Fans are..." she said as she held my hands and urging me to look at her.

"I know."

"Then..."

"Don't say it. Let's just... Let's just...not break up. Let's..." I don't know what to tell her. It hurts. All those years we've dreamt together. It's such a waste.

"Sungkyu-ah... We have to."

"No!" i sternly said. "We will not break up. We will debut and then we'll see how things go from there." I looked at her as I saw a tear fell from her eye.

I slump my shoulder in defeat as she slowly let go of my hand and stood up. I looked at her as she walked to the door. She held the knob to open the door. 

With head bowed down, she said, "I'm sorry Sungkyu-ah..."

As the door closed, it felt like a part of my heart also closed. I shut my eyes firmly as i crumpled the piece of paper i unconsciously held.

I then woke up from my trance when i heard our manager say that we have arrived at the filming location.

I sighed as I made my way out of our van. This is it. I'll be seeing her here after 3 long years of managing to stay out of each other’s path.

He already mastered the art of variety shows. He just needs to be who he really is. 

I can already feel the awkward vibe emanating from everyone in the group the moment we entered the studio. They've known about me and Bora and i didn't inform them who we will be appearing on the show with.

I have my straight face on as we wait for the filming to start. We have been briefed about the talk show and the questions that will be asked. Well, just some of it. You know how variety shows work.

We arrived at the filming room and Sistar arrived afterwards. I looked at her smile to the camera as she bowed in greeting to everyone. She had her hair down today. In a brief moment, our eyes met and it felt like everything is in slow motion. She smiled at me and i felt my heart skip a beat. 

I already forgot her. I already forgot her... I kept on repeating in my head as she sat down on her seat without giving me a second look.

This is what it takes to be a public figure. Your personal life is exposed. You give up a lot of things. It is more painful to let go of the things you gave your life for than to let go of the ones that you share them with. That's how i see things ever since. I looked at my hands clasped together on the desk in front of me. I will not be able to afford losing my dream. Although i wanted for us to go through our dream together, i can't let her be the reason to lose it. I sighed at the thought. Am i just feeding my mind with these things or is this how i really feel?

We managed to get through the variety show - me showing some witty remarks and smile completely plastered on my face despite the awkward feeling creeping inside me.

"Okay. We have some peppero sticks here. Woohyun and Bora then we'll have Sungkyu and Soyu." 

The hosts' voice cut through my thoughts. 

"Eh?" all I managed to say. Well it was not on the list of things to do.

WRITER's NOTE:

Just a short update... :D Don't forget to subscribe. :D