“Do you want a drink? Food? Want me to run you a bath?”

Ever since everyone found out that Suho was signing himself over, all they’ve done is be at his beck and call every second of the day. Of course most did that out of guilt, and the others out of gratitude that he did it to save them or their friends.

“No, Yixing, I’ve already told you, just sit down, would you?”

Yixing is the worst. All he’s done is run around, regardless of Suho’s commands. Now the elder is lying on his bed, the Chinese boy fretting around and straightening out the sheets, then lightly pushing dirt off of his shoe.

“No. So what can I do?”

“You really want me to tell you?”

“Yes.”

“Will you actually listen to me and do as I say?”

“Fine.”

Suho shifts so he’s resting on his elbows, peering down at where Yixing has taken to rubbing the elders shoe with his sleeve. “Come here, and lie next to me. You’ve been running around all day unnecessarily. I appreciate it, but now I need you to rest.”

“I don’t need to rest,” Yixing whines. He takes to his sleeve and then moves it towards Suho’s shoe, who flinches away.

“Xing, please. Just come and lie down. Right here, next to me.” Yixing looks up in bewilderment. “Please?”

With hesitation, Yixing crawls onto the bed and yelps when Suho pulls his wrist down so that he face plants the pillow. The younger exclaims in fright, turning his head and not realising Suho was so close I return.

“Umm…I just sort of wanted the company, ya know?”

Yixing nods timidly. “Yeah.” He then shuffles until he’s lying down with a fair space between their bodies, then a bit more to accidentally make it obvious that he doesn’t want to be too near to Suho.

“Why are you doing that?”

“Hmm? Doing what?”

“You know what. I don’t bite, Yixing. An extra few centimetres won’t kill you, you know.”

“I just don’t want to annoy you,” Yixing mumbles as he takes a little space between them away. Only a little bit mind, and he rolls onto his back with his head the other way, to compensate.

“Is that all?” Yixing nods. Suho sighs, putting both hands up, then rolling over until he’s pretty much lying on Yixing, hands on the pillow either side of his head. “Xing, even this space doesn’t bother me. I don’t find you annoying, and I never have, for that matter. Whatever I did to upset you, I’m terribly sorry, I was just nervous and I sort of took that out on you.”

Yixing stop listening when Suho straddled him. He stopped listening when he realised just how close Suho is. He stopped listening when he realised he could stare at Suho’s lips instead.

When Suho catches on, he smirks at Yixing’s direct line of sight to his lips, then sticks out his tongue for s and giggles. Yixing gulps, his gaze still on those lips and oblivious to Suho’s knowledge.

“Xing,” Suho whispers, “Why are you staring?”

Yixing snaps his eyes up, swallowing hard and looking away. “N-No reason. Uhh…y-you had something on your f-face…”

Suho tilts the younger’s face his way. “Yixing…say no if you want…but can I kiss you?”

Yixing freezes where he is, eyes wide. Sure, he likes Suho and he has wanted this, but isn’t Suho the one who’s supposed to be pushing him away, not pulling him closer? Yixing always assumed Suho didn’t want him in that way, so why now? Is he doing this out of pity for leaving?

Yixing looks away again, shutting his eyes softly. “My cheek is all yours.”

Suho frowns, but nevertheless leans forward to press a lingering kiss to his roommate’s cheek, pulling away just slightly before fully. “Yixing, please don’t think I’m forcing you into this. If you’re not comfortable with me, then that’s fine. I’ll get out of your way and you can go back to being yourself. But I want you to know, that how I acted towards you wasn’t anything you had done. It was me.”

Suho then shifts himself back to lay on his back, hands linked on his stomach as he sees Yixing turn his head slightly. “What do you mean?” the boy whispers softly.

Suho laughs dryly. “I met this girl in high school. She was beautiful from the first time we bumped into each other. Her flowing golden hair, the way her eyes twinkled when she smiled, and when she really smiled, they almost disappeared. Her laughter made me feel things, and whenever we touched I swear my heart stopped. It took me two months to really talk to her, which lead to me tutoring her through maths in our spare time, for no extra credit. I asked her out another five months later, and we had our first date at this beautiful little café near a lake.”

Yixing is confused about the detour of conversation, but he lets it slide in favour of listening. “We were together for two years. I fell completely in love with her, and from what I know, she did the same. You know, I lost my ity to Jessica. Oh, that was her name. Jessica Jung. Anyway, she was my first. I was the happiest I’d ever been at that point. I had my friends, the boys we live with now, and the love of my life.

After a while, Jessica’s parents announced that they were moving away. To China I think, perhaps Beijing in particular. Jessica herself didn’t want to leave, but she had never fought her parents before and she had no way of staying without them. So we spent the next few weeks in bliss, right before she left. We’ve never spoken since, and I still miss her sometimes. I even imagine her walking through the doors of the restaurant occasionally and us rekindling what we once had.

The point is, Jessica remains to be the only woman I ever loved that strongly, and that passionately.”

Yixing’s head is now hung, and he’s sat up to rest on the headboard of the bed. He’s listening carefully, but only for Suho’s sake. This must be the point where he says “I still love her. I’ve never told anyone else that. You’re a great friend to talk to” or some like that. All hope suddenly gone, all Yixing can do is listen like the good friend he’s been branded as.

“For all my life I’ve lived a typical life of your typical son. Straight as a board, dates a few girls, loves a few, and grows up with a few frie