Chapter 8

Still You

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Sehun shyly opened the white door at the end of the corridor. He had found Donghae’s room’s location just by following the sound of music through the corridors. Was it even legal to have parties in hotel rooms?

The room was so full of people Sehun had to back off before trying to squeeze in. Somehow, he had expected Donghae’s after party to be only for Super Junior members or SM Artists or something similar to that but…well, none of the faces he saw looked familiar. The music was surprisingly loud and the people were actually dancing and looking like they were having fun.

“Sehun! Yo, bro! What are you doing here!?” Someone grabbed Sehun’s arm while he was awkwardly trying to squeeze through the crowd in search of one particular pair of eyes. Jonghyun from SHINee was suddenly standing right next to him, wearing a cool bling-bling-top and holding a glass of wine in his hand. “Oh, hi, Jonghyun hyung!” Sehun smiled awkwardly, making a little polite bow for the shorter idol. “Since when have you been attending adult parties? Are you even legal yet?” Jonghyun teased the boy. Sehun laughed awkwardly, biting his lip. “Donghae hyung invited me.” “Oh, yeah, I heard you guys are pretty close nowadays!” Jonghyun said innocently, luckily not intending to say what Sehun thought he intended. “Yeah, I guess…” Sehun laughed nervously, scratching his hair. Coming here was a terrible idea, he cursed inside his mind.

“Sehun!” Donghae suddenly hopped out of nowhere. He grinned like a maniac when checking out the outfit Sehun had chosen to wear.

“Oh dear, you look good!” Donghae sighed out, sneakily touching the tall boy’s arm like he would be an expensive treasure. Well, Sehun couldn’t disagree: he was wearing a white button-up with the few top buttons left intentionally open, and red skinny jeans. Donghae laughed nervously and let go of Sehun’s arm. “You look good too, Jonghyun.” He added quickly to Jonghyun when realising he was standing there as well. Jonghyun smiled quickly, giving the other two a curious glance before disappearing back in the crowd.

“I’m so happy you came” Donghae stood on his toes and leaned closer to Sehun to let the boy hear his words. Sehun smiled sweetly, looking down at the man who didn’t look bad either: Donghae was wearing a black V-necked shirt and white jeans. Donghae realised Sehun was checking him out and smiled happily. He somehow seemed a bit less drunk than an hour earlier when they had met in the hotel lounge, which made Sehun very happy. “You want something to drink?” Donghae suddenly asked, pulling Sehun towards a table full of drinks and snacks. “N-no thanks.” Sehun shook his head. “You sure?” “Yes, I…” “There’s some really cool drinks here, check this out! I don’t even know what it contains, but just look at it!” Donghae explained excitedly, handing out a fancy glass of something green. “No, I’m fine. I’m really not into drinking” Sehun refused with a kind smile. The truth was that he was not willing to take any risks of losing control close to his crush, not this time. “Okay then!” Donghae sighed and drank the drink with one gulp, wiping his mouth and giggling at Sehun’s horrified face.

The following hour went basically in Donghae chatting with people, Donghae joking around with people, Donghae having fun with people. At first, the man attempted to introduce Sehun to everyone they met but after that was done, the role of Sehun became to follow his host awkwardly around. He had no idea what to do in this kind of parties. He was aching for Donghae’s attention: even though the man kept on smiling at Sehun time after time, exchanging a couple of words with him occasionally, he was being way too social for Sehun’s socialising abilities.

Maybe these awkward socialising abilities were the reason Sehun ended up talking with the girl. The girl had been taking glances towards Sehun throughout the night, and after Sehun had accidentally smiled in her direction she came over and started making conversation.

“You’re Oh Sehun, right? I saw your gig earlier, and I thought you’re really one gorgeous dancer.” She said, giggling girlishly and flipping her hair while trying to look really attractive.  “Thanks.” Sehun nodded, bowing at the girl shyly.

“I’m Sunhi. I’m the lead dancer in Qao. In case you didn’t know me” The girl laughed self-confidently, leaning out her tiny hand. Sehun shook her hand, not even knowing the group she was referring to. He found the girl really pretty and everything, but somehow felt uncomfortable in her company: her flirty behaviour was obviously going to lead to something sooner or later.

“So…you seem not to be drinking anything. Come with me to pick something to drink, doesn’t that sound good?” Sunhi said, grabbing Sehun’s arm. She led the tall boy back in front of the table full of drinks. “Pina colada! Oh, I love it!” The girl giggled, handing a drink to Sehun. He was about to refuse but then recollected his thoughts again. Donghae was nowhere to be seen and had seemingly forgotten all about his Sehun. Whatever, Sehun thought and grabbed the drink from Sunhi with a surrendering smile, I can drown my sorrows in alcohol.

After three drinks Sehun found himself in middle of a deep, alcohol-driven conversation with Sunhi. “…and…there it went. I never saw it again.” She was finishing up her tragic story about her childhood cat, tears strolling from her big eyes. “I’m sorry” Sehun said expressionlessly, scanning the crowd to see a sight of his favourite hyung. Was it even possible to lose a person into a small hotel room like this? How long had he been in here already? What was he even doing? The situation was absurd: he was hanging out with a crying girl in a random hotel room full of random people. And for this - just for this- he was rejecting his own group and they all were most likely talking about him at the very moment.

“And…the worst thing is…I still can’t look at cats without thinking about him! Oh, my poor, little, sweet Tommy…” The girl started crying in despair, leaning her tiny head on Sehun’s skinny shoulder. The boy placed his hand on the girl’s hair and patted her wordlessly a few times.

And at that moment Donghae made his way through the crowd towards the corner in which Sehun and Sunhi were sharing their cryish conversation.

“Sehunnie, oh, you’re here!” Donghae smiled confusedly. He glanced the crying girl curiously. “Oh. Did I interrupt something?” “No!” Sehun spat out quickly, suddenly sliding from under the girl and escaping into the crowd, Donghae following him with a confused smile.

“What was that?” He laughed as soon as Sehun stopped, glancing empathetically towards Sunhi who was now sitting alone, looking extremely insulted. “Its… my way of rejecting girls...” Sehun muttered awkwardly, feeling a bit dizzy standing up like this after all those drinks. Donghae poked his arm playfully, shaking his head in disbelief. “Aish, with you…”

It seemed like Donghae had gotten enough of socialising and was ready to give his full attention for the younger boy: he led him to sit on one of the beds. This part of the hotel room had a bit less people and the music wasn’t banging as loudly against Sehun’s tired ears.

“Have you been enjoying yourself?” Donghae asked while sitting down, trying to gulp down the last bits of the drink he was holding but with a disgusted shiver placed the glass on the floor.

“Well…I can’t lie, I’m a bit awkward at parties. Not even awkward, I’m hopeless.” Sehun admitted shyly, looking at his hyung in hope of some empathy.

And sympathy was exactly what he got. Donghae cupped his own face and looked at Sehun with his mouth wide open from surprisement. “Aww, Sehun…you should’ve told me! What have you been doing?” “Well…not much…” “Sehun, please don’t tell me you thought I had abandoned you?” “Y-yes…kind of…” “Sehun, I’m so sorry!” I thought you would like to get acquainted with people and…” “It’s okay.” Sehun said with a dazzling smile, not really caring about those previous feelings of rejection after few drinks. Donghae smiled in relief, patting the younger boy’s thigh quickly. “To be honest, I’ve been drinking too much. Someone should stop me.” Donghae admitted with an embarrassed sigh. Sehun laughed quietly, looking down at his own toes while admitting:” To be honest, I drank some as well.”

It was Donghae’s turn to look surprised again. “You did? You said you didn’t like to drink!” Donghae almost shouted in amazement, Sehun’s shoulder playfully. “I don’t!” “But you drank?” ““I felt so abandoned that I suddenly started feeling like drinking again.” Sehun teased Donghae, and succeeded in it. “No way! I’m so sorry, Sehun, oh dear…How can I ever forgive myself?” Donghae literally kneeled in front of Sehun with puppy eyes. “Forgive me, please? I will never let you alone again?” Sehun laughed loudly at the silly man in front of him, Donghae joining his laughter happily.  

At some point the people started to leave: one by one the room started feeling emptier and emptier. Somebody even turned off the music which created a weird gloomy atmosphere in the room.

Finally there were only handful of people left besides Sehun and Donghae: mostly Super Junior members. Donghae was lying on his bed, lazily throwing some snacks into his mouth. Sehun was sitting his legs crossed right next to him, hypnotised in catching the snacks that missed the older idol’s mouth and giving them back to him. Leeteuk, Kyuhyun and Sungmin were sitting on the next bed, trying to carry on their pointless conversation with Donghae even though they all were drunk as hell.

“And then I was like…I…yippee! And-and…they…all…” Leeteuk tried to describe something that had happened to him once in New York but was dying of laughter before even saying it outloud. Kyuhyun got frustrated at his leader’s stupidity and exhaustedly dropped to lay on his back. “Teuk…at least try…”

Donghae giggled at his retarded group mates and glanced up at Sehun, who immediately turned into a bright smile while being looked at. “You alright?” He asked, placing his hand on the boy’s knee. “Yeah…I’m maybe a bit tired.” Sehun said, trying to hold back his yawn. He had decided to finally, officially confess to Donghae when all the people would be finally gone. But they seemed not to have any attempts of leaving…and as a result of a stressful day, alcohol and too many people around for too many hours, Sehun felt tired as hell. He really had serious problems staying awake.

“You’re not saying you want to go back to your room yet?” Donghae asked worriedly, trying to crawl up but accidentally dropping the bag of snacks on the floor. “No, no way!” “You sure?” Donghae asked again, leaning his back against the wall behind the bed. Sehun shyly followed him and sat next to him. They smiled at each other warmly, both somehow aware that something special was bound to happen when they would be finally left alone.

Leeteuk had now dropped from the bed and was rolling on the floor laughing at his own jokes. Kyuhyun cruelly kicked his with his foot, Leeteuk screaming like a girl. Donghae shook his head with a tired smile. “Friends, I think soon is the time for Leeteuk’s partying to be over.”

“Shh…don’t wake him up. I’ll take a picture.” “Shift your hand a little…”

Sehun suddenly realised there was no flow of conversation, no more screams, no more shouts. He felt something warm against his head, he…

Sehun opened his eyes just a little to spot something weird right in front of his face. “What the…?” He murmured when realising that something was a phone. The innocent maknae opened his eyes into their full size and realised it was Kyuhyun trying to take a picture of him. “N-no…!” Sehun murmured quickly, realising he had fallen asleep. “Hi, cutie...!” he heard Donghae’s honey voice from above him and realised his head was resting on the older idol’s lap.

“Aish, sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep but…” Sehun moved to sit quickly, embarrassedly brushing his messed up hair with his hands. Donghae and Kyuhyun laughed at him, showing the “cute” pictures they took while he was sleeping. “Aww….” Donghae laughed, shuffling the boy’s hair. “You were a bit tired, after all?” “I guess I was…” Sehun said with a raspy voice. How long had he been sleeping?

“Poor Sehun, it seems like you’re too young to party.” Kyuhyun remarked, Donghae giving him an angry glare. “He’s just the right age.” Donghae said, smiling at Sehun who was still looking extremely sleepy. “Whatever. I’m going now. See you around!” Kyuhyun stretched his limbs and walked out the room,

Sehun could not still believe he had actually fallen asleep. He knew he had a nasty habit of snoring in his sleep…did he possibly…? Awkwardly he corrected his shirt which had fallen so that it was almost revealing his right shoulder. Donghae who was still lying against the wall stared at Sehun with a happy smile.

“S-sorry about that…I really tried not to fall asleep but I guess I’m like a baby again in that sense.” Sehun said quietly, crossing his legs and meeting Donghae’s eyes shyly. He realised they were now alone in the room, just the two of them.

“Aww, sleep all you want. You can go back to sleep if you want, my lap is waiting for you.” The older idol said with a teasing wink. Sehun couldn’t avoid from thinking how wrong (…or right…?) that sounded and chuckled by himself. “Well…whatever…” he sighed and actually rested his head back on Donghae’s thighs. He smiled when realising Donghae was staring at him admiringly without any attempts to hide his feelings. Sehun had to fix his eyes in the ceiling for a while: the blush slowly climbing on his face was overflowing.  

“Sehun…could you really forgive me for leaving you alone? I seriously thought you were having fun, chatting with that girl and everything…” Donghae said quietly, placing his hand carefully in Sehun’s hair. Sehun tried to stay calm when he felt the man’s fingers slowly play in his hair. “It’s fine! It’s my own problem if I can’t really handle being with people…and that girl was annoying anyways, she tried to flirt with me.” Donghae chuckled, poking the boy’s nose teasingly. “Well, who wouldn’t?” he babbled, Sehun answering with a smirk. As always, he went all wordless when Donghae like this.

Both idols were silent for a moment; suddenly realising how intimate position they were actually in. Sehun’s head was basically resting on Donghae’s crotch and Donghae’s hands were comfortably all over the younger boy.

Donghae tried to make himself more comfortable by sliding his back slightly down the wall, but the sudden movement scared Sehun and made him to withdraw from Donghae’s lap. “No, sorry, just go back, I just made myself more comfortable!” Donghae hurried to say, his both hands in the air like he would try to pull the boy back. Sehun shook his head with a smile and sat next to Donghae instead. How could he start the conversation with him…?

“It’s such a mess…I’m not envying the person who will have to clean this room.” Donghae said with a yawn, staring disgustedly at the piles of bottles and glasses hanging everywhere. Sehun nodded, glancing wistfully the lap he had just been resting on. He would’ve wanted to go back, Donghae had been so warm and nice and smelled good and everything…

“Whoops. It’s half past three already.” Donghae laughed while glancing the screen of his phone. Sehun gulped, straightening up. “Aish…I’m dead. They will kill me.” “Who are your roommates?” “Jongin and Chanyeol.” “But you could just sleep here, you know? You wouldn’t need to wake them up?” Donghae said innocently, throwing his phone away. “Eunhyuk is god-knows-where, I’m here alone anyways.”

Sehun gulped, glancing the bed they were lying on. It sounded sweet, it sounded really appealing…but would it be a bit too much, a bit too suspicious? And, did Donghae mean…

“Sehun, you can go to your room as well if you think it’s too much.” Donghae took back his offer with a warm smile. Sehun smiled awkwardly. “No, it’s just…I’m going to get killed anyways. Joonmyun hyung wants my head off for sure, because of that dinner. I’m already dead.” Donghae laughed empathetically, moving to sit closer to Sehun. Sehun sighed and observed Donghae’s hand sneakily approaching his thigh.

“You know…I felt so special when I heard you refused to go there with them and chose…me.” The older idol stated quietly, sliding his fingers teasingly back and forth on the younger one’s knee.

Sehun gulped and decided the right time was now or never.

“Donghae…I-I…I guess I didn’t make myself clear enough the last time you…in the car.” Sehun started, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Err…” Suddenly the words he had planned for a week disappeared like they had never even existed.

“We have all the time in the world.” Donghae said with a supportive smile, placing his both hands on Sehun’s thighs.

“I’m so bad at speaking, you know? I actually considered writing you a letter instead. Because I at speaking.” “Write me a letter. You’re a good writer, I know.” “I wouldn’t say I…” “I’ve done my background research. I know you write poems.” Donghae winked Sehun’s thigh affectionately. Sehun blushed: the man seemingly knew his darkest secret already. There would be nothing to lose.

“But I want to be brave. Like you.” Sehun said, taking the man’s hands into his own ones and looked him straight into eyes.

“Donghae…I totally, completely, absolutely share your feelings.” He finally said with a dry and quiet voice. Saying it outloud felt like it was the end of the world but simultaneously the birth of a new world. Donghae’s face turned into a big, bright smile as soon as the words flied out in the quiet hotel room. He looked like the happiest man in the galaxy.

“That’s my Sehun…” He whispered, suddenly leaning closer to the boy, placing a quick, innocent kiss on Sehun’s small lips before the boy even realised what had happened.

The room was now completely silent: no voice was to be heard. Sehun smiled confusedly, feeling a little bit light-headed. Finally he had got it out of his heart, finally he had said it out loud and…nothing bad had happened. Donghae seemed to approve. Oh. My. God. Sehun started laughing awkwardly out of relief, placing his head embarrassedly between his legs. Donghae was a bit confused about the younger one’s reaction. “W-what?” he laughed and placed his hands protectively on the skinny boy’s shoulders. As soon as Sehun raised his head he was disclosed in a warm hug, two strong arms wrapping around him. And suddenly everything was alright.  He wouldn’t have to care about the hyungs, he wouldn’t need to care about the manager. He had Donghae.

“Err…Donghae…please don’t laugh at me, okay? But…could you repeat what you just did…it was a bit fast, I didn’t really get to…to enjoy.” Sehun mumbled into Donghae’s neck shyly. The older idol slowly broke their hug and cupped Sehun’s face with his warm hands. They locked their eyes for a moment, both giggling and laughing happily. Finally Sehun felt their lips touching again, joining together in a slow, romantic kiss that was sealed by the quiet, messy hotel room.

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Iwantsurfaces #1
Chapter 17: It's now 2018. I'm re-reading this fic again, because it's still the best I've found, and I can't believe it wasn't finished.
jesusrivera09 #2
ARE YOU ALIVE, IF YOU ARE COULD TELL US IF YOU ARE GOING TO FINISH THIS ?
ereveros #3
Chapter 20: Is this fic abandoned? Or did I miss something and u posted the last chapters somewhere else? U were almost finished don't stop here :(((
jesusrivera09 #4
Chapter 20: PLEASE, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR TOO LONG NOE, PLEASE UPDATE, THIS IS THE BEST FANFIC I'VE EVER READ, PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE AND SUFFER
jesusrivera09 #5
PLEASE UPDATE THIS IS THE BEST
stina0098
#6
Chapter 20: This makes me so sad. TT
shiluxun #7
Why does everything have to be so complicated for them?? :// I will probably go for the happy ending lol Oh and I don't know if you saw already but Donghae and Sehun were seen going to a restaurant together! https://twitter.com/sehunownsme/status/639359385878183936 I hope the link works for you!
kyuririn #8
Chapter 20: Soooo heartbreaking. WHY???
oohsh_kimmji
#9
Chapter 20: Girl. Why are you breaking my poor little heart all the time..
What have I ever done to you :'(
oohsh_kimmji
#10
Chapter 18: No.... why would you do this to me /le ugly sobbing
I trusted you with my heart woman!