Myungsoo shakily covers his mouth with his palm, he doesn’t know if he can actually contain himself if he doesn’t do this, he looks at the figure in front of him and feels his phone vibrating and takes it out just for the sake of calming himself and trying not to walk and ask him unanswered questions and causing a scene.

Myungsoo knows he won’t do that. Not now, anyway. He doesn’t have the courage to do so.

He looks at his phone, Sungjong texted him. He reads the subject with furrowed brows, dread creeping on him.

Fr: Sungjong
Subj: Back

He's back…

He carefully raises his head to look at sungyeol, biting his lips as the tears starts to pool in his eyes because it hurts. Everything is hurting all over like that time 2 years and 3 months ago where he felt like his heart was being stepped on thousands of times all at once.

Or that time when he got so drunk and a gang had showered him with punches, not fighting back at all because why would he? He thought. He actually deserved those punches. Minutes after being half unconscious though, his friends had arrived (because he unconsciously called that number and it was directed to sunggyu because he had left it with jaehwan but the latter gave it to sunggyu) and then the police arrived and everything was a blur.

It hurts.

It hurts and everything is becoming hazy as he looks at how sungyeol changed with his sharp jaw and sun kissed skin, or how he moved with much more elegance now, or myungsoo just didn’t notice it before? Or how he doesn’t smile, like the sungyeol he remembers.

Or how a spark of recognition or anything hadn’t danced on his face.

Minutes passed and his breath is heavy and his eyes are stinging from the tears due to memories and sinking realization and it must have gave him away because the next thing he knows the teacher is calling his name. “Kim Myungsoo-sshi?” He begins, myungsoo looking away from sungyeol’s form.

“Y-yes, sir?” He stumbles on his words, not thinking about it too much because he already has a lot on his mind and he isn’t sure if he can take any more of it.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, the students looking at him and myungsoo automatically looks at sungyeol if he also turned back.

He didn’t.

Myungsoo waits for sungyeol to look back, anything, when the teacher talks again “I suggest you go to the clinic.” The teacher says, worriedly. Myungsoo looked pale, “Can someone assist him?” He asks, immediately the class is in uproar trying to volunteer.

Myungsoo opens his mouth to say something “N-no, it’s okay” he mentally cringes at his voice “I’m… okay”

The teacher frowns at this, “Are you sure?”

Myungsoo nods.

Was he really okay?

Myungsoo stands up the second the bell rang and darted towards sungyeol who doesn’t look much indifferent. He grabs him by the arm and a silent gasp escapes his mouth because he’s really here.

And he’s real. He’d had dreamt of touching sungyeol by the arm, embracing him and begging for forgiveness only to wake up empty and crying. But he’s real and myungsoo feels like breaking down.

Myungsoo watches as sungyeol raises his head to look at where myungsoo was holding and back to myungsoo himself (he tries not to run away because he’s already crying and everyone is looking at him) before opening his mouth.

“May I help you?” Sungyeol asks, raising his eyebrows.

“S-sungyeol” Myungsoo tries to ignore that nostalgic feeling of pain. “I-I’m so—You're he—I—I'm so—“

“Look, I’m late for class.” Sungyeol starts again, freeing himself from myungsoo’s grasp and he left. He left myungsoo alone with shock on his tear stained face.

Sungyeol left.

It took time for him to register what had actually happ