Sungyeol dabs on Myungsoo’s bruised fingers ever so lightly trying to make it less painful than it already looked. He could see from his peripheral vision that the latter had his eyes closed and he bites his inner lips, already feeling iron on it.

He was seeing red and he was pissed at the man who dared touch L and if he learns that that bastard is not in prison, he would do whatever it takes for that to be in one.

Sungyeol takes out the chicken on the fridge, handing it to woohyun before being shooed away, he scowls a little before going out of the kitchen and looks around.

“Is L outside?” he asks, Jaehwan who was having a duet with Sunggyu and the latter nods. “Isn’t it cold?” He doesn’t wait for the answer and goes out of the balcony looking for the latter only to be surprised by someone tapping his back.

He turns around expecting for L to be smiling—he had always loved surprises and surprising someone—only to be faced by his pale face and his bloodshot eyes. He could see the slight tremble on the latter’s smiling lips and if they didn’t know L long enough to know that the latter gets double lids when he cries or gets tired, he would’ve believed this façade, but he knows. Sungyeol knows something happened and he fakes a smile, “Hey, it’s cold. Get in.”

The latter nods.

Sungyeol enjoys another chug of beer as he subtly looks at the closed door of the bathroom where L had entered 10 minutes ago and almost sighs in relief when the latter comes out.

L seats down next to sungjong as the younger of the two invites him to play and the other agrees.

Sungyeol really wasn’t expecting for the thing he sees 5 minutes in on the game, he could see the apparent flinch and scrunching of face when Myungsoo pushes down on the control, he also was not expecting to see blood on the latter’s ring finger, his other ones looking a little swollen and red.

He almost stands up and walks towards the latter when someone holds him by the wrist. He looks at who it was and it was Jaehwan shaking his head, he seats back down scrunching his eyebrows and the latter signals for him to go to the balcony.

Albeit confused and worried for L, he stands up and walks to his destination, Jaehwan following him from behind.

“What is it?” Sungyeol asks.

“I think he had a panic attack.” Jaehwan says, biting his lips and looking at Sungyeol in the eye. Sungyeol furrows his brows, a panic attack?

“What do you…” Sungyeol starts, “What do you mean? What happened?”

“When I went out and tapped him earlier, he flinched, yeol. He looked like he was terrified, he went pale and I could see his hands shaking although he tried very hard not to show it. I know he had one because… because I have one. I know what I saw, yeol.” He shakes his head and scrunches his eyes close as if trying to rid himself of a bad memory that sungyeol knows all to well.

Sungyeol doesn’t talk, his mind wondering back to Jaehwan's attacks, and instead holds Jaehwan’s shaking hand and interlocks it with his, squeezing it a bit to reassure him. Sungyeol knows what the latter had gone through. His mind wonders back when he called out to L earlier, his eyes bloodshot like he had been suppressing his cries, his lips bitten to bruise and his hands shaking.

“He’s okay.” He mutters, chanting it.  Maybe if he said it a couple times, L would feel okay. Maybe if he said it, they’d believed it more.

But they both knew that wa