I was avoiding Jung like a plague.

I would avoid ways he took. I would turn the other way whenever I even sensed him coming. In class, I strictly kept my attention to the front. Of course, it didn't help that our desks were next to each other. And little Changmin was a distraction.

I could see the confused, and sometimes hurt, looks given to me by the pair, but I refused to be moved. It was tough and it hurt a lot to see the pair when they shot me those bewildered and kicked-puppy looks. Especially Changmin. With his big eyes glistening with unshed tears as I refused yet again to pay him any attention. It hurt me a lot. But I was so confused myself

Confused. Scared. And lost.

This all was so new to me. The feeling of my guts getting squeezed whenever I saw Jung. The feeling of my cheeks heating up whenever I could feel Jung staring hard at me. The feeling of something bubbling in the pits of my stomach whenever I heard his deep voice. It was so new and unsettling to me. Or may be I was aware, but refused to acknowledge or accept it.

To add to my woes, Junsu had also taken to looking at me like I was some criminal, accusing and judging. 

"Will you just go and talk with the guy?Clear up the issue", Junsu at last burst out when I had just dashed out yet again as soon as the lunch break rang. I didn't say anything as we settled down in our regular place. There was silence for some time.

"Did you two kiss?"

Out went the piece of fish I was eating. I glared at him while trying my best not to die because of my lunch. He just looked back at me in an annoyingly smug face.

"No! We didn't kiss or anything", I said rapidly, as soon as I stopped gasping like a fish out of water.

"Oh. I thought you did. Considering how you are acting around him", he said coolly, going back to his lunch. I glared at him some more as I tried hard not to remember that night.

Our noses touched. And I closed my eyes involuntarily. An imaginary beat and I heard a husky chuckle. I opened my eyes to see Jung looking at me, his eyes alight in amusement and something else. Something tender which had my heart squeezing my entire circulatory system, cutting of my breathing for a moment. And I held my breathe as he slightly tilted his head and placed a feather soft kiss on my cheek, which flamed as soon as his lips touched.

"Good night, Jaejoong. See you in the new year".

And left me standing alone on the steps, a hand to my kissed cheek and a thousand unsaid emotions in my entire body.

It started to snow again.

I was pulled out of my memories with Junsu saying something in my ear.

"Huh? What?", I said unintelligibly.

"I said, the bell has rung. We have to return to our classes", he said, getting up.

I sighed, packing back my unfinished lunch, as my brain tried to figure out the mess of emotions and thoughts it had created. We were again silent as we walked to our classes. Junsu stopped at the door of his class and looked at me straight in the eye.

"You should talk this out with him, Jaejoong. He is a nice guy and he cares about you. Don't keep things till it's too late".

And left me standing yet again with my jumble of thoughts.

                                                                                                 -x-x-x-

And it was with these thoughts I made my way back home after picking up Minhee and the weekly groceries. I wasn't even sure I had all the items I wanted, considering the way I was distracted the entire week. I sighed as I reached closer to my home and stopped suddenly. 

He was sitting on the top step of the entrance to my house. Our eyes met and it seemed as if everything had stopped. Unsaid thoughts passed between us. The heavy silence was suddenly broken when Minhee spotted Yunho and went into a frenzy. Her cries in turn woke up Changmin who spotted me.

We stared at each other some more while the kids created a chaos.

"D..do you want to come in?", I asked, my voice smaller than ever. Yunho just shrugged, not taking off his sharp eyes from me. I stumbled to the door under the sharp gaze and unlocked it. We were still silent as we kept our bags and settled the kids down in the play pen. I went into the kitchen to get some snacks and juice, and he followed me in. My cheeks were on fire again. I opened an overhead cabinet to take some glasses when I felt him brush against me.

"Let me", he whispered in his cursed husky voice and I felt the heat from cheeks spread to the rest of my body. I suppressed an embarrassing noise in my throat. I tried to turn and get away, but he was taller and stronger than me, and we were in an awkward position, where my hip was pressed to the counter, back twisting to see him and Yunho towering over me, a hand on the cabinet door, looking back at me. It was a very tense moment, the something which had been left unsaid since Christmas growing bigger and bigger, trying to explode.

But the tension was unresolved as a loud squeal can from the living room. I tried my best to squeeze from the tiny space, but Yunho placed a warm hand on my waist and I shivered without warning.

"I will see to that", he said, giving an imperceptible squeeze to my hip and placed the glasses on the counter, going out to resolve whatever dispute had happened between the two little devils. My hands were shaking so badly that I spilled some juice on the counter as I tried to pour it. I let out a sigh.

I went out the kitchen, lost in thoughts when a delighted giggle reached me. I looked to see an unbelievable sight. Minhee and Changmin were playing. Together. Peacefully. My jaw would have dropped if my brain wasn't already filled with other thoughts. Of course, they were still ignoring each other, but the fact that they were playing just a foot from each other was proof enough that miracles do happen. 

I saw Yunho just sitting between them, keeping them busy with each other. And my heart clenched at the thought that he was just so natural with kids. He looked scary on outside, considering his tall and sturdy built, his sharp eyes and deep voice. But I highly doubted there was even a cell of unkindness in him. He had done nothing but help me since the day he met me. He had been nothing but kind to me.

"He cares about you. Talk to him before it's too late".

Junsu's words rang in my head and I held the tray tighter. I was still unsure about how I felt about him. It was true I cherished him as a very dear friend. But the happenings of  the past few weeks had threatened to change that ‘dear friend’ tag into something different. May be I knew what it was that I was feeling. But I was too much of a coward to acknowledge my own emotions.

My feet moved themselves and I set the tray on the coffee table. Changmin saw me and crawled as fast as his chubby legs would allow. he stopped just a few inches away from me and looked up at me with his wide eyes, unsure, with may be a hint of fear in them. Unsure if I was going to push him away again. Afraid of getting ignored again.

"Ma". 

I slowly picked him up and he giggled in delight. I also couldn't help but smile as I hugged him. I did miss the little fellow. He was a bit clingy and always stared at me with unblinking eyes. And called "Ma". But he was a sweet little kid who only wanted attention. My eyes caught Yunho's and again that unspoken something was hanging around, growing bigger by the second. And yet, I refused to pay it any attention.  

May be it was better as it is.

                                                                                                       -x-x-x-

It was almost night when I went to the door to see Yunho and Changmin off.

I still hadn't talked, and we had left the topic as it was. We had completed our schoolwork, watched some movie and had dinner. There was almost no strain while doing all of that. And yet, something was missing. Something was wrong. Like calm before a storm.

"I will see you at school, then?", I asked. Yunho was silent for some time. I could see a storm of emotions in his eyes which I couldn't decipher.

"Actually, that was why I had come today to meet you", he said, atlast looking at me. I frowned.

"What do you mean?"

There was a pause and I had a slight queasy feeling in my guts. Like something was going to go wrong. I ignored it like always.

"I mean, I won't be coming to school tomorrow. Or after that.", he said in his deep and calm voice. I felt my frown deepen, the unsettling feeling growing in my stomach.

"I am moving back to Gwangju. I won't be living hear from now on".

                                                                                                               -x-x-x-

I am so sorry for not updating for months.

post graduate life is killing me.

Hope this wasn't abrupt and still makes sense.

Please do drop your comments!!^^

Kamsahamnida!