It was one of those rare days when I am free of any child-caring and housekeeping work.

Appa was home from his work trip and had taken the day off to take care of Minhee.I was skeptical at first,seeing that he just knew how to change the diaper.But he seemed adamant, saying that I also needed some time off to be a high-schooler.I had tutored him the night before,making him revise Minhee's meal times,nap times and even tantrum times.To be on the safer side,I had even written the tasks  and pinned the paper on the fridge,so that appa could refer to it. I had left with strict instructions to call me if anything happened.And as luck would have it,I was hardly gone a block when phone rang and appa was panicking about not finding the teething ring.

I sighed in relief as I settled in my seat,glad to be free for a day.But well,the man above had different plans for me.No sooner had I sat down and kept my bag,than I heard that familiar babble.

'Ma'.

And I had to turn to take the little guy.I bounced him a bit on my lap and the delighted giggles made me smile too.

'You look happy',a deep voice came and I looked to see Yunho settle down.Yes.We had come to first name terms and enjoyed a nice friendship now.We often talked on phones and sometimes walked home together,though our homes were in opposite directions.Jung was a really nice person.

'Yeah.Appa's back',I said,smiling as I cuddled Min close to me.The baby leaned into me, his fist,his chattering muffled.Yunho nodded,looking ahead,a faint smile on his lips.Suddenly my cheeks felt hot.

What the?

For the rest of the time,I resolutely refused to look his way.

                                                                                                                         -x-x-x-

'So,you want to be a lawyer?',I asked.

'It had always been my dream.A lawyer or a police officer',Yunho said,hands shoved in pockets,both of our bags slung on his shoulder. He had insisted on carrying mine too as I had Min had refused to let go of me.I had denied vehemantly,but his deep voice had overridden mine,coaxing the bag out of my hand as I lost my ability to speak.

'Any particular reason?',I asked,adjusting Min in my arms where he had fallen asleep.Yunho didn't answer as he walked on. I glanced at him,and looked away as his gaze fell on me,the brown eyes sharp.I stumbled in my step,even though the ground was flat.The stupid butterflies in my stomach were dancing again.Though it was autumn.

'I don't know.Halmoni said my father was a lawyer.But,I think when you get into street fights, you see the things one cannot even imagine. What goes in the dark alleys,it's worse than the most horrible nightmare',he said,gaze darkening. I had never heard him angry and it was scary. I had no wish at all to see him angry.That reminds me to be on his good side.

'What about you?',he asked,pulling me out my thoughts.

'Huh?Me?What?',I asked,not having followed the question.

'Yes.You.Because Min is too little to answer',he said,a humourous glint in his eyes. I rolled my eyes at him.

'I haven't really thought',I said,honestly.Seriously,with so many things going on in my life, I had hardly any time to myself or my future.Minhee took most of my time and the remaining went in looking after the house and appa. I never had given a thought to what I wanted to become. We had sat on bench and watching Min crawl about. But I was still in my thought.

What do I want to be in my life? Had I the thought even crossed my mind? Ever since umma's death, I hadn't given a thought to myself, drowning myself in my studies and house chores, to try and forget the debilitating pain of losing my mother. I had promised umma that I would look after Minhee and appa, make sure my baby sister grows into a fine lady,one who will be following her own dream. I had promised that I will look after appa, as the only son, when he grows old. I had promised her I would be strong. Never cry or complain howmuchever it hurt me or made me compromise.My sister and my father would always be my priority. I had never thought that my dreams or ambitions would mattter. I had promsied my mother her dying wish. I can't break it.

'Hey,don't cry',a warm hand on my cheek had me shuddering back to reality. I looked to see Yunho looking at me with worried eyes as his rough fingers brushed against my cheeks. Min had fallen silent,and looking at me as if on verge of a bawling concert. The baby hiccuped, crawling up my lap to cuddle against me .I ran a hand across my face and my fingers came away wet.

I had been crying?Why?

'I am sorry',I whispered,avoiding his gaze. Why now.I kept the tears all inside for so many months. Of course,I won't cry now.Not now.

'It's ok.Let it go,Jaejoong-ah',Yunho said,an arm around my shoulder.

Jaejoong-ah,promise umma that you will look after Minhee?

I didn't know who moved first,but,I found myself engulfed in warm arms.My eyes widened,but the arms around me coaxed me into their warm strength.

Umma will always be there by you,Jaejoong-ah.

'Umma.I am sorry',I whispered as I buried my face into the musky scent of the other and finally let it go.

                                                                                                              -x-x-x-

We walked in silence, not glancing at each other. Yunho walked a bit ahead of me,our bags slung around his shoulders. Min was leaning against my chest,fast asleep. It was almost 8 in night.I glanced at Yunho as we walked the familiar path to my home.His broad and tall back made me unable to see the path in front of me,blindly following him as he led. Straight and manly.

What was I thinking?

'I am sorry',I whispered,looking down as the ground became suddenly interesting. He stopped and turned to me.I still refused to look up so he nudged my chin,his almond eyes staring into mine.I felt a calloused finger run across my jaw,but the eyes were holding me in a place. My heart was trying to jump out of my chest for some reasons.

'Don't be.You mother won't like you to be unhappy,right?',he said, softly. I nodded,holding back my emotions this time. Just like that, he wiped away the heaviness in my chest.

'Good. Now smile. Wouldn't want Minhee to be sad to see her oppa unhappy,right?',he asked, smiling that cooked smile of his. Inspite of everything that had happened, I couldn't help but chuckle at the cute face.Yunho's grin widened as he ruffled my hair and started walking again, leading me.His broad back was like a barrier. Safe and reliable.

My gaze travelled to my hand in his big ones and I couldn't help but muse over my pale skin against his tanned one. They complimented each other.So well.

And for the first time, I didn't mind the butterflies dancing the spring dance in my stomach. 

                                                                                                                -x-x-x-

Am embarrased by this chapter..T.T..*hides in attic*