A/N: Yes.. This is /another/ update. Enjoy?

Do Kyungsoo <[email protected]> 2015/03/11 19:27
To: <[email protected]

Subject: Homesick

Hey Hunnie..

How are you? How have you been?

It's weird here in Seoul.. I'm just used to our hometown.. Things are different here.. I mean.. I've been to Seoul a million times before.. But it's not the same when you're actually living here.. Is it weird that I'm already homesick even though it's only been a week?

Hope you're alright and adjusting to senior year.. I know it can be pretty intense..

Best of luck.. Hwaiting!!

- <%) <%) <%) -

Do Kyungsoo <[email protected]> 2014/04/06 12:20
To: <[email protected]

Subject: Are you even going to read this?

Hi Hunnie..

It's been a month since starting university.. I've made a few friends.. How have you been? How's senior year? It's much harder than junior right? I did warn you didn't I? Make sure you study this year.. Don't neglect your studies.. And I'm here if you ever need any help..

I miss you and our talks.. I even miss your lame jokes..

- <%) <%) <%) -

Do Kyungsoo <[email protected]> 2015/04/21 23:18
To: <[email protected]

Subject: How have you been?

Hey there Hunnie..

I was back in Goyang over the weekend.. It was good to be back.. I know I said before that I was good at cooking.. But I've really missed my mum's cooking.. There's no place like home..

I wanted to see you so I visited Black Pearl on both days but you weren't there.. I hope you're not working many shifts during term time.. It's going to a tough year at school.. So make sure you have enough time for your studies as well.. But in saying that.. I don't want you to give up dance either.. I really wish I could've made it to that dance recital.. I want to see you dance.. Maybe I'll come back for the next show? It would be good to finally see you dance in real life..

I've still been singing though.. Even though it kinda reminds me of you.. A lot of things remind me of you..

I've been wondering how you've been.. I'm worried about you.. You were such a big part of my life.. It feels weird not talking to you.. Do you feel the same way? Probably not right? I just hope you're oki though.. You'd better be.. I won't forgive you if you're not taking care of yourself..

- <%) <%) <%) -

12 April 2015 00:02
From: Do Kyungsoo
Happy Birthday Hunnie.. Have a wonderful day.. I'm sorry I couldn't be there to celebrate it.. But I'm working on a birthday present for you.. It's just going to be a bit late.. Sorry about that.. But better late than never right?

- <%) <%) <%) -

6 Jun 2015 17:51
From: Do Kyungsoo
I'm coming back home for summer vacation.. I can't wait to see Byuntae and Suho.. I want to see you as well.. But you've not responded to any of my emails so I'm assuming that you don't feel the same way..

6 Jun 2015 17:55
From: Do Kyungsoo
Don't think that I've forgotten about you because I haven't emailed or texted you in a while.. I just didn't want to keep bothering you.. I've been writing emails to you though.. I just haven't send them.. They're just sitting in my drafts..

6 Jun 2015 17:56
From: Do Kyungsoo
Oki.. That sounded kinda creepy.. Sorry Hunnie..

6 Jun 2015 18:43
From: Do Kyungsoo
Please Hunnie.. I want us to have a talk.. There's a lot that I've wanted to say to you.. But I don't want to tell you via email or by text.. I want to talk with you.. Face to face.. It's pretty personal and I want to do it right.. So can we meet up at some point? It won't take too long.. 15 minutes.. Tops..

- <%) <%) <%) -

20 Jun 2015 13:24
From: Do Kyungsoo
Hunnie.. I'm back.. Can we meet up? I can come over to yours?

- <%) <%) <%) -

18 Jul 2015 15:39
From: Do Kyungsoo
I tried visiting you today.. Your mum said you weren't in.. It was pretty awkward..

- <%) <%) <%) -

19 Aug 2015 10:11
From: Do Kyungsoo
I'm going back to Seoul this weekend.. Can you believe it's been 2 months already?

19 Aug 2015 10:11
From: Do Kyungsoo
I'm starting to think you're part ninja or something..

19 Aug 2015 23:47
From: Do Kyungsoo
Well.. I get it now Hunnie.. You don't want to see me.. But I want to see you.. So I'll be at Black Pearl tomorrow at 3pm.. Show up.. Don't show up.. It's ultimately up to you.. But I'll be there.. Waiting for you.. If I've ever meant anything to you.. You'll come.. If I didn't mean anything.. Then just ignore this message.. If you choose not to turn up then I won't ever bother contacting you again.. But this is the last time I'm going to contact you if you decide to leave me hanging.. If you really want to throw everything away.. If it's been that easy for you to pretend like I've never existed.. Just delete this and delete me out of your life..

19 Aug 2015 23:47
From: Do Kyungsoo
I really hope you show up though.. I've missed you so much..

- <%) <%) <%) -

22 Aug 2015 20:12
From: Oh Sehun
Kyungsoo hyung? I'm sorry that I'm such a coward.

22 Aug 2015 20:12
From: Oh Sehun
I wanted to meet up with you, I really did. But my feet wouldn't allow me to move.

22 Aug 2015 20:12
From: Oh Sehun
I'm so sorry, I saw you though.

22 Aug 2015 20:13
From: Oh Sehun
You shouldn't have waited that long for me, hyung.

22 Aug 2015 20:13
From: Oh Sehun
I'm not worth it.

22 Aug 2015 20:13
From: Oh Sehun
I'm sorry that I made you wait four hours. I'm just the biggest coward.

22 Aug 2015 20:14
From: Oh Sehun
I received the USB memory stick you left for me, I'm too scared to check out the files though.

22 Aug 2015 20:26
From: Oh Sehun
Kyungsoo hyung?

22 Aug 2015 20:51
From: Oh Sehun
I'm sorry.

22 Aug 2015 20:51
From: Oh Sehun
Please forgive me.

- <%) <%) <%) -

Oh Sehun <[email protected]>  2015/08/23 21:26
To: <[email protected]>

Subject: I'm sorry hyung

Kyungsoo hyung,

I checked out what you left me. The song, it was beautiful, your best yet. Did you write it yourself? I've been listening to it non stop since yesterday night. I even had it playing all night. Your voice was always beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with me. I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk. I'm sorry, hyung.

And you look like you've lost a bit of weight, please eat some more, hyung. You were too thin before, so please make sure to eat more.

Take care of yourself.

P.S. I've missed you too.

- <%) <%) <%) -

30 Aug 2015 23:29
From: Oh Sehun
Er, Kyungsoo hyung?

30 Aug 2015 23:29
From: Oh Sehun
Kai came into Black Pearl tonight and told me that the two of you have broken up.

30 Aug 2015 23:30
From: Oh Sehun
Are you okay?

30 Aug 2015 23:30
From: Oh Sehun
I know I pushed you away, but if you're going through a rough time, I want to be there for you.

30 Aug 2015 23:30
From: Oh Sehun
Like you tried to be there for me.

30 Aug 2015 23:31
From: Oh Sehun
I want to make it up to you, I'm sorry.

30 Aug 2015 23:31
From: Oh Sehun
And I'm sorry to hear about you and Kai.

30 Aug 2015 23:31
From: Oh Sehun
I hope you're okay.

30 Aug 2015 23:31
From: Oh Sehun
If you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to contact me.

30 Aug 2015 23:31
From: Oh Sehun
I'm sorry again, for everything.

30 Aug 2015 23:32
From: Oh Sehun
Just remember, you don't have to go through this alone.

30 Aug 2015 23:36
From: Oh Sehun
And if it makes you feel better, Kai didn't look too good. I think he's pretty broken up about the breakup.

- <%) <%) <%) -

8 Sep 2015 13:41
From: Oh Sehun
Wait, you and Kai broke up at graduation back in February?

8 Sep 2015 13:41
From: Oh Sehun
What happened?

- <%) <%) <%) -

Oh Sehun <[email protected]> 2014/09/13 17:07
To: <[email protected]>

Subject: (no subject)

Kyungsoo hyung,

I know this is audacious of me to ask you a question, seeing as how I've been ignoring you for the past few months, but I know it's going to eat at me until I ask. I thought the song you wrote was about Kai, but after finding out that the two of you broke up months ago, who was this song about? It sounds like you really care about him. Did you meet him at university? Is he nice? Does he treat you right? I hope he is, you deserve the best, hyung. Only the best.

- <%) <%) <%) -

17 Sep 2015 16:02
From: Oh Sehun
Kyungsoo hyung, have you been receiving my emails?

17 Sep 2015 21:38
From: Dyo
So now you want to talk to me?

17 Sep 2015 21:39
From: Oh Sehun
I'm sorry, hyung.

17 Sep 2015 21:43
From: Dyo
Save it.. You gave me the silent treatment for months and I didn't even know why.. At least you know why I'm doing this to you..

17 Sep 2015 21:43
From: Oh Sehun
Kyungsoo hyung, please

17 Sep 2015 21:43
From: Dyo
No.. Goodbye Sehun..

17 Sep 2015 21:47
From: Oh Sehun
Who was it about?

17 Sep 2015 21:49
From: Dyo
Are you serious?

17 Sep 2015 21:49
From: Oh Sehun
Is he your new boyfriend? Is that why you and Kai broke up?

17 Sep 2015 21:50
From: Dyo
I wrote it about the person I love.. And yes.. It was why me and Jongin broke up..

17 Sep 2015 21:50
From: Oh Sehun
I see.

17 Sep 2015 21:50
From: Oh Sehun
Are you two dating now?

17 Sep 2015 21:50
From: Dyo
That's none of your business..

17 Sep 2015 21:51
From: Oh Sehun
I know, but please tell me?

17 Sep 2015 21:55
From: Dyo
I'm done, Sehun.

17 Sep 2015 21:55
From: Dyo
Please don't contact me again.

17 Sep 2015 21:55
From: Oh Sehun
I'm sorry, Kyungsoo hyung.

17 Sep 2015 21:56
From: Oh Sehun
I hope you can forgive me.

17 Sep 2015 21:56
From: Oh Sehun
Take care of yourself.

17 Sep 2015 21:56
From: Oh Sehun
And I hope you're happy.

17 Sep 2015 21:56
From: Oh Sehun
I just want you to be happy.

- <%) <%) <%) -

Oh Sehun <[email protected]> 2014/09/20 05:26
To: <[email protected]>

Subject: You have to read this

Kyungsoo hyung,

There's so much that I need to say to you and it's been killing me. I haven't been able to think properly since I found out that you and Kai broke up. And I know that you're in love with someone else now and you're probably dreaming of him right this second. Or worse, the two of you might be sleeping together. And I know that the two are probably so in love with each other, it's transcends words because if you have those kinds of feelings for him, I'm certain he'll feels the exact same way about you. How can he not? You're perfect, Kyungsoo hyung.

Even though I'm too late, I still needed to tell you this because I know I will end up regretting this, probably for the rest of my life, if I don't tell you this now so I'm going to just tell you it. Like right now. Who cares about my word vomit and rambles? I need you to know this, hyung.

Do you remember when I emailed you to tell you that Kai felt like I wasn't as invested in the relationship as I was in the beginning? And that he made me realise something? Well, what he pointed out to me was that I wasn't really in love with him as much as I thought I was because, I had already fallen for someone else. And you know what? It was true. I had fallen for someone else. You, hyung. It's you.

I don't exactly know the precise moment that I fell in love with you. But what I do know for certain is that at some point I fell deeply and irrefutably in love with you. At some point in my relationship with Kai, I actually found myself wanting to speak to you instead of him. When something funny happened, I wanted to tell you.

You said before that we always had a choice, but that's not true because I didn't. Falling in love with you wasn't by choice, it was a necessity. How could I not have fallen in love with you? It was impossible, Kyungsoo hyung. It was as if I was sleepwalking through my entire life and you woke me up.

The reason why I couldn't be friends with you when you were still dating Kai wasn't because you were dating Kai, but because Kai was dating you. I couldn't see you with someone else who wasn't me. Like I said before, I don't regret ever contacting you. I thank Chanyeol everyday that his sevens look like fours because if it weren't for his chicken scratches, I would've never have met you. And I'm so glad that I did, because you're the most incredible person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

And I can't believe you had all that trouble naming things you like about yourself. Don't you know how amazingly perfect you are? And effing hell, you're as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside. You're so ing beautiful, Kyungsoo. How could you not see that? I wouldn't change one single thing about you, you're perfect just the way you are. Don't you ever dare change, not for anyone. Not even for me, definitely not for me, because there isn't anything you could possibly do to make me stop loving you.

I'm sorry that I was such a coward and for avoiding you. I'm sorry for running away the way I did. I'm sorry for not being home when you tried to visit the night before you moved to Seoul. I knew you were going to try and visit me so I left on purpose. I knew that if I saw you standing outside my house, I wouldn't have been strong enough to see you. I would've gone to you and kissed you and you would've rejected me and I didn't think my heart would've been able to take that rejection. Avoiding you meant that you couldn't reject me, so I tried to avoid you for as long as possible. But I know how stupid that was, I'm sorry. I know now that I can't live without you in my life, even if it's just as friends, I'll take it. I can't carry on living without you in it. I need you, hyung.

I love you, Do Kyungsoo. I love you so much and I hope that I'm not too late in confessing this to you.

- <%) <%) <%) -

20 Sep 2015 11:11
From: Dyo
You are too late..

20 Sep 2015 11:11
From: Dyo
You're over half a year too late..

20 Sep 2015 11:12
From: Oh Sehun
I know, hyung, and I'm sorry.

20 Sep 2015 15:43
From: Dyo
And that's just not good enough..

20 Sep 2015 15:44
From: Oh Sehun
Are you happy?

20 Sep 2015 15:44
From: Oh Sehun
With him I mean

20 Sep 2015 15:48
From: Dyo
I am..

20 Sep 2015 15:48
From: Oh Sehun
Then that's all that matters.

20 Sep 2015 15:48
From: Oh Sehun
All I want is for you to be happy.

20 Sep 2015 19:24
From: Dyo
Goodbye Sehun..

20 Sep 2015 19:24
From: Dyo
Don't contact me again.

- <%) <%) <%) -

A/N: Just one more chapter to go guys.

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