Luhan stared out the windows of his new office. After a week of cleaning out the dusty and messy room littered with every single sewing tool one could name, it was ready for him to move into. It was nice. It wasn’t too big nor was it too small and it also had ceiling high windows that ran along a side of the room. He was thankful to at least look less awkward as he had felt it everytime he showed up camping out on the couch in Sehun’s office.

He had just sat down on the chair when someone knocked lightly on the door. Surprised, he stood up, stared for a few seconds before rushing over to open it. Kyungsoo broke into a smile.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course!”

He moved aside, letting the shorter man enter before closing it behind.

“Wow! It sure is nice in here and it’s conveniently right next to Sehun’s office.” Luhan watched quietly as he walked over to the windows and looked out into the setting sun. Luhan joined him and quietly observed, secretly waiting for Kyungsoo to tell him what he came to say.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I'm here?"

"Why're you here?" he asked, as politely as he could.

Swiftly turning around, Kyungsoo walked back in front of Luhan's desk, facing him. "Summer is soon arriving and it's when our interns work on the annual exotic showcase. There's going to be models, and photographers, commercials, lights, runways, supervising,  planning, busy busy busy! It's the most hectic time of the year. Our promotional team has already begun working on advertisements and our interns are going to be working on their final pieces. It's not only an important event for us, but for them as well. Many other companies will be present, if interested, will recruit the intern right away. That goes for us as well. Now, as Sehun's secretary, you have a very important job. You're going to have to manage everything Sehun does, and everything the interns under him do. Usually we only have around ten interns but this year, Sehunnie took interest in fifteen. That's a lot."

Luhan stared at Kyungsoo. He seemed so excited, nearly jumping into the air just thinking about it. Luhan, in fact, didn't know anything about this annual event, but after some thinking, that was probably why Chanyeol and Jongin as well as every employee he passed, seemed stressed or stressed over oncoming stress.

"W-well, that was sudden."

"Right. July will be three months, which means three months to take care of everything. Of course you won't be alone, however, since your role is extremely important in how well this event goes, you'll need lots of guidance. We will all be here if you have questions on what to do and how to do it. Your best helper will be Sehun. Don't stress about it too much today. Enjoy the hours you have before tomorrows meeting about it. It'll be at noon in the large conference hall."

"You seem to enjoy it, huh?"

His heart shaped smile was effective. "I love this time of year. Even though it's extremely stressful, it takes my mind off things and just seeing the end product of it makes it all worthwhile. Though I do understand my extreme short temper."

Luhan chuckled, already feeling tired just imagining all the work he's cut out for. Nevertheless, he'd like to give it his best. "I will do my best!"

"Yes you will, which is why you should go home soon and just relax, enjoy your stress free hours. You may not think it now, but you'll regret not going home and binge watching Running Man or sleeping."

Luhan was walking behind Sehun, a full two inch ringed binder safely tucked in his arms. He was feeling overwhelming stress coming on, the secretary's duty finally jumping onto his shoulders with full force. Before, he had merely showed his presence, Su Hyun doing busy work to pass the time. He let out a heavy sigh, regretful of not getting enough sleep for the two hour long draining meeting about the event. He should've took Kyungsoo's word for it. At that moment, Sehun turned around, smiling lightly.

"Burdening isn't it?"

He only awkwardly chuckled, struggling to keep a clear mind. "Yes, but also exciting."

"Glad to hear. Did you want to take a boba break? Please, I feel like I'm dying." He entered the elevator along with a couple of others, planning to go above.

It was silent, only a low humming and every now and then a shuffle of feet. His eyes trained on the cover of the binder, Head Designer’s Secretary. He smiled at that. He felt like a manager of some sort. The elevator stopped. Sehun walked ahead of Luhan, rubbing his wrist and twisting his watch around uncomfortably. Reaching his office door, Sehun made an annoyed sound with his tongue before swiveling on his heel to look at Luhan.

"I just remembered. One of the interns asked me to check their designs. I'll go ahead and go back down but I'll give you a call once I'm done and we can just meet up in the lobby. I-is that okay?"

"Yes, yes! It's completely fine."

He smiled, quickly turning forward. He hurriedly entered his office, laying his back against the door and letting his legs give way, sliding down. Sehun's smile was dangerous and he didn't think he could take another second of it. Ever since the whole trip to Minseok's house, things had gotten awkward there, at least for Luhan. It was harder to stare at him, hard to meet their eyes heck even walk beside each other. For the past week, he had been purposely falling behind to keep a safe distance and avoid eye contact while speaking to one another. He checked the time. Half past two. He was to return home before eight that night. His step-brother, or father had set the time aside for him to relay the things mentioned during the meeting.  Sighing once again, he finally got up, taking the binder and opening it up. He took the table of contents out and the last two sections. Carefully and without messing the order, he set the stack of hole punched papers into his desk.

Luhan twitched awake. He had nearly fallen asleep doing nothing. An hour had passed since he first came back, no texts or calls from Sehun. He decided to make his way down to the fifth floor where the interns were working and where he'd most likely be. Stepping into the elevator, it closed behind him. Luhan stood there twiddling his thumb out of nervousness. He had never been able to ride the elevators the same ever again after his earlier experience riding alone. His eyes watched the red numbers slowly go down each floor he passed, hoping someone would at least want to go down. To his luck, at the tenth floor, it stopped and the doors opened, but what met him was nothing. He looked around, eyes wide and cautious. It closed as quickly as it had opened, stopping at the ninth floor, opening suddenly, startling a few passersby. A woman walked over, ready to board the flight down as well, but it suddenly closed on her. Alarmed, Luhan held onto the rails. He debated whether he should press the emergency button. Going down, the elevator doors slowly opened, a three inch between closing. Luhan was terrified, slowly panicking. The doors were sliding open and shut, exposing to Luhan the cold and darkness of the elevator chamber. He reached into his dress pants, hands searching frantically for his phone. Right when he clicked on the dial pad, it stopped and opened with its usual ding as if nothing strange had happened. Luhan scrambled out and ran over to the receptionist. She seemed startled.

"Please make an announcement that something is wrong with the B-5 elevator. Please get it checked out by mechanics before letting people on!" She seems worried, quickly phoning someone and asking for the announcer. Luhan was almost past the doors when he heard the speakers click, and a woman's voice coming overheard.

He left for the boba shop by himself. He knew that when Sehun was working with one intern, it'll eventually lead to two, then three, then to all of them. He knew by then already.

It was rush hour. Luhan had been waiting at the same stop sign, along with many others for over five minutes. He ruffled his hair out of frustration, realizing how unsettling he felt. Finally, the light turned green and pushing him along with their pace, Luhan walked beside the many busy citizens. He was finally able to cross the busiest intersection, allowing him to continue on to the boba tea shop he frequented. He's never visited it with Sehun before, only told stories of its cozy and relaxing aura. It had immediately reminded him of the cafe shop back in China where his friend Yixing used to work at. It had been too long since he's last seen him, almost two years when he had to pull out of the study abroad trip. He had changed quite a lot since then. A woman walking in front of him abruptly stopped, causing Luhan to run right into her back. He immediately apologized, helping her pick up her fallen items.

"I'm so sorry ma’am! Are you okay?"

"Yes yes, I'm--"

She stopped mid-sentence, her hands covering her open mouth. Her grip on her bag loosened and she let out a small cry. Luhan was confused, as well as worried.

"Is something the matter?"

"You, are you Korean?"

"N-no, ma’am I'm actually from China."

Her eyes left him and trailed up to someone else as a shadow towered behind him. Slowly, he turned around, met with a tall man, to which Luhan knew who.

"Let's go."

He held back his flinch, the deep and gruff voice tough against his ears. Standing up, he helped the woman, before turning back around and following the man. Her piercing gaze was mysterious, something that made him uneasy. It was a trusted bodyguard under his step brother's employment, originally his father's. Suddenly, he realized, that he had been watched.

"Where am I going?"

"Back to the office. You should understand that leaving the company grounds is restricted unless you're done with work. From today on, I will be dropping you off and picking you up."

He stopped speaking, returning back to the busy intersection. Luhan stood behind, angry and annoyed. In those years that he's lived with them, only once has he defied them and that was for insulting his mother. Now, he was already forgetting about their purpose of exposing the company, forgetting that he was part of that sad, lonely world. Knowing that, he became conflicted of what he'd do next. The light turned green. The bodyguard walled forward. People behind Luhan pushed past him to go, but he stayed put. A few seconds, and he'd find his feet running off the other direction, past the woman who was still watching him, past the boba tea shop, past the fountain, a couples hotspot. He just wanted to run and run, get away from the evil that had their clutches around him. It almost sounded like a joke now, what Minseok had said to him. Staying afloat and swimming was two totally different things. Staying afloat was easy. You fight no one, but yourself. To stay up and fight the water that's trying to you under the pressure. To swim away, required fighting one's own weakness and the people who have you on hold, and their demons as well. It wasn't easy at all. He knew that at the end of the day, it was going to be the same thing. Go home, get beat, sleep. Repeat.

He had returned two hours later than he should've. Instead of returning back with the bodyguard, he ran off, unfound until he showed up on the doorsteps of the brown mansion. Mr. Liu, his stepbrother was already waiting by the door, his arms crossed. Luhan gulped. He had run off on a whim of courage that had dissipated almost immediately.

"Inside. Now."

He nodded, tail tucked between his legs. Regret, pride, and loneliness danced in a storm inside his chest. He was already going to cry. Following him inside, he caught Mr. Thao's apologetic and worried look. Luhan didn't know what was going to happen, however he knew, that by tomorrow, he may not be able to return to the company ever again.

"Y-yes?"

"Yes what?" Mr. Liu stopped walking. Standing halfway up the stairs.

"Yes...father."

A smirk, then the tap of his rings on the handle.

"Bring me all of my torture device collections, and round up all the peasants in this mansion. Let me teach everyone a lesson. A valuable lesson"

He stopped speaking Korean and switched back to his Mandarin. Luhan felt the fire burning in his ears, the heels of his feet and his eyes. Tears had already made their way down his cheeks.

"What do you want from me?! I've been doing everything you wanted. I've been wasting my time following them around, hanging out with them to learn about them. Every meeting, I've told you what was discussed. I even took pictures of Oh Sehun's sketches! What else am I doing wrong?!  Why can't I just be left alone?!"

"That's the problem, you peasant! Because you want to go on your own! You belong to me and my mother! We own you, okay? You're worth absolutely nothing. My father should've killed you and that ing when he had the chance!"

Luhan ran forward, already unaware of how the maids, new cook, and many employees had arrived, watching confusedly as it went down. He ran up the stairs, the bodyguards a step too late, and punched him in the nose. Liu stumbled back, Luhan falling over him, hands gripping tightly around the neck. Large rough hands held his shoulder, ripping him away and throwing him back down.

"I've warned you before. If you ever speak of my mother that way again, I'll hurt you."

As best he could, he glared back into the enraged face. Employees were whispering, confused and worried about what was going on between the supposed father and son.

"Bring it to me!"

Body guards finally returned, holding heavy white boxes that seemed to jingle at every step. Opening the first one to his left, Liu grabbed it, a spiked club he had just recently purchased from an illegal market in Japan, and walked down the steps. Guards held Luhan down, to which he dismissed.

"Let him run. Run away, because that's all he can ever do. Let him run and feel the fear, as he thinks about his life. All the wrongs his existence has done to my mother and I."

Luhan stood up, fear far from his mind. He dodged the first swing, the first time he's ever done so. "Go to ing hell, you monster!"

"Oh, that's right! What was this about being a part of Sehun's friends? What's this about them finally accepting you? Would be ashamed of it all ended right?" Throwing the club away, he motioned for another, handing him his whip. "If anyone here wishes to stop me, stop me now. Today, I've had about enough. It'll be the end of this poor illegitimate child. He'll die slowly, from pain and grief, doubled by how sorrowed my mother and I have become."

The first whip stung. But more than that, the words. He just stopped dodging, finally landing on his knees and letting the whip cut into him. The pain in his heart was too great. The emptiness would always over power the acceptance, the light from his stars. They had all suddenly seemed so far away. He nearly laughed. If, just if, he was someone else's star, would he too be one that has died long ago? Or has he been?

"Your mother, Sul Yeon, will meet you in hell soon, if she hasn't already! You son of a !"

The last. It was straight across his already battered back. Something snapped, and all he could feel was a sharp pain, ripping right through his flesh. He toppled forward, falling on his face and taking in the deep smell of wood, and dirt. Did he belong down there? OR would it be soon, that he does become a part of it?

"Bring him to my room, and I'll finish him there."

Hands gently held him by the shoulder. At this point, he was too weak to hold himself together. Every limb in his body felt disconnected, as if dangling from only a thread. Fingers rushed to his neck. His breathing slow and quiet.

"His pulse is weakening. I don't think he'll make it.” It was the bodyguard that had followed him all day. Maybe the whole time he's ever been by himself.

"Just get rid of his body somewhere far away. It'll be easy to cover up."

Junmyeon walked into the front doors of the building, just as he always has done the past five years since the company was officially established. Everyday, he would enter, smiling at the first shift receptionist who unlocked the building doors in the early morning. He'd say, 'Good morning my exotics. Work hard!’ without waiting for a reply. Then he'd start singing, humming or whistling a tune, maybe dance a little.

But today, it was different. The receptionists watched as he walked in, hunched shoulders mourning. His usual smile was barely there, nearly coming out as a grimace. His steps were slow and to the employees watching, his face said it all. He was not happy. This was a different kind of sadness. It was not the angry sad, nor the jealous sad, not even spiteful. It was hard to figure it out.

Junmyeon walked quietly into the elevator, a couple of others trailing in behind him. Per usual, he'd chat with them, maybe even ask them how they were feeling about the work. Was it overbearing? Too much or too less? What, your wife's going into labor soon but you have work?! Take it off! Uncomfortable silence. Thumbs fiddled before he got off the twelfth floor. It was quiet, too early for breaks in the halls. Before he wanted to, he reached the lounge room to which he heard excited voices contributing ideas on the summer showcase. It ended the moment he stepped in, their piercing gaze realizing the torment and sadness in the man's eyes. He hadn't had coffee yet either. He didn't need it today.

"What's up Junmyeon?" asked Baekhyun carefully. Beside him sat Tao, who had stopped his knitting sticks and looked up. Chanyeol and Jongin were standing by the fridge, while Sehun and Kyungsoo sat across the other two.

"We're all going to need a seat before I speak," he solemnly said, choosing the seat at the end. It had always been reserved for him either way.

"Is something wrong?" asked Jongin, sitting down as well. Chanyeol followed. They were all leaning in now, backs no longer lazily hunched or leaning against the chairs.

"Early this morning, around three, I received a call from one of Mr. Liu's personal employees."

Sehun inhaled sharply. He was getting a very ominous feeling.

"They told me-" Junmyeon stopped speaking, breathed deeply as Baekhyun brought a hand up to his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "They told me that they found Luhan’s dead body. He...he killed himself."

There, he let it out. Even then, it was silent except for his stifled sobs. Tao began to tear up. Sehun felt eyes on him. Baekhyun stood up.

"Sehunnie..."

Sehun stood up quickly, not even denying it. Junmyeon never lied about death. It wasn't funny. He kicked the chair away from him, walking out the door without even bothering to close it behind him. He didn't know where he was planning to go. He just wanted to go somewhere far far away, run away from the oncoming sadness. Nothing else even mattered anymore.

"Sehun! Please, just don't tell her!" shouted Baekhyun’s tearful voice. There was a slight pause in his step before he began walking again. He waited by the elevators for less than five seconds, quickly opting out for the stairs. Rushed footsteps followed behind him. He didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment.

"Sehun-ssi! Can I have a moment?"

Su Hyun’s voice sounded so different, so unforgiving. Painful, because he had met him along with her. He kept on walking. His heart and mind felt dangerous, like it could hurt her and anyone who tried to speak to him. He opened the door to walk down the stairs, Su Hyun still following close behind.

"S-Sehun-ssi! Wait!"

He halted. " Did you want to get lunch later? I have some really neat things I want to discuss with you," she said, almost short of breath.

"No. I...please just stop chasing me already."

Her hurt eyes glistened, biting in her lips. "Then you know. I've liked you for a while now, so why do you always push me away? I've done so much just so that I could get through to you, so why is it not enough? Who is it that you like, huh?! Is it Kyungsoo? Are you into men as well?! Why won't anyone I want, give me a chance? I like you, I really do!"

He turned around. Their eyes crying from each, a different sadness. One, mourning for loss of a loved one, another mourning over being unloved.

"Everything is just so complicated! I'm sorry, if I ever gave you hope! But if you see the signs, why can't you take that as an answer?! Or do I literally have to say it out to you?" His words were shaky, every now and then, interrupted by a hiccup that could not commit all the way, ending up in sharp inhales of breath. At the moment, his heated words did more damage than he anticipated. Su Hyun was almost confused as to why he was crying, forgetting that he was already this way before approaching him. Before someone had notified her that he was near.

"No, just. This is it. I'm done," she said, lifting her hands up in defeat. She walked back up, opening the door and slamming it shut behind her. The sound reverberated through the stairways as Sehun ran down, skipping steps. He passed another employee who had no second to ask about his state.

No sounds came out, but he was crying. Going down each step, all that ran through his mind were reels of Luhan. His smile, his hands. His lovely voice, everything. The sound of his light steps outside his door, the timid look he gave when asked a question he didn't know or understand. The look of accomplishment when Sehun had come to love boba tea. The light airy laugh that echoed ghostly against the walls of the room when Baekhyun would crack a joke. The little journal he always wrote secretive things in. The way he smiled at Min Jung lovingly when he first met her. Him smiling and laughing as he ran around his house, chasing Min Jung. How on his first day, the sadness he felt reflected into his sparkly hazel eyes when Jongin told him he didn't belong. The innocent way he spoke, startling and making him feel a certain way when he had first met, asking for directions. Now, it wasn't hard nor deniable, that he loves Luhan. It didn't need to take a year of smiles hiding a deeper meaning, nor months of unexplainable kindness and willingness to share with him. He loves him, just as much as Min Jung. He was what Min Jung had been searching for. Before, it had been merely what he said to make Min Jung feel unburdened. He'd always claim to be finding her a mother, despite his very own paranoia of women leaving him. His father was right and he felt foolish. Especially now. Luhan had entered his life in a flash, stayed close, yet so distant. He was the love that he yearned for.

Sehun was out in the lobby now. The receptionists greeting him but in return, nothing. They knew something was definitely wrong. His tears, something of extreme rarity, was out for everyone who passed to see. Sehun stepped out into the calm morning. It was cloudy, a light grey. He didn't know where to go next. Entering his car, he drove back home where Min Jung still slept, another hour before she had to wake and get ready for school. He barely stopped for the red lights. Now, just as it was before, it was only his brothers, Min Jung and him. It wasn't that he couldn't live with them, he's done it before, but Luhan had left an imprint in his heart. It suddenly felt so empty. He entered his home. The tears had stopped then. Kicking his shoes off, he dropped his keys onto the island counter and practically ran to her room. Her back was flat against the bed, but her eyes were open and she smiled when he entered.

"Good Morning Daddy. I woke up early today. Did you already leave for work?"

Sehun only nodded, not saying a word. His red eyes finally clear to her sleepy eyes. He laid next to her, hiding his face in her arms. Her small hands patted his head gently.

"Hun? Why're you crying? Are you sad?"

He shook his head. "Just tired." His voice was nasal, nose beginning to run. Despite his calm face, the pressure in his chest and throat sent tears over his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Min Jung became concerned.

"Hun Hun...who made you cry? I'll tell my uncles and Luhan to tell them to stop," she said, crying along with him. Hearing that, Sehun's calm face distorted, displaying heartbroken sadness and grief. She cried along with him and they held each other tightly even though she had no idea what went on. This was the second time Min Jung had ever seen him cry. The first was when she had arrived. It felt like it was back to them only having each other, forever.

An: yes, I am still alive. I wrote this chapter this way to progress the story for the end. Sorry. It made me sad too thooooo