As I paced out of the room , I coudln't help but cry. Maybe this was more then just a crush . What if I honestly truly loved him . Would I be able to love someone else ? Will i ever really move on ? Yes there were so many other things in life to be happy about . My friends, my family , i just can't help by feel incomplete without Hae . I decide that I am in no shpae to participate in the concert today. I jump in in my BMW LSM gave me as a present. I pull out my cell phone and realised that it wasn't activated anymore. It was the one i had activated in America. i dig through my purse to find my cell phone that i had used before in korea , as i press the on button my phone starts vibrating like mad. Its probably because I had recieved many texts from friends and family who were worried about me. 8 months worth to be exact. As I scroll down , i see krystal , YoonA , Hyoyeon , Taeyeon , Taecyeon , Jay , and then i see it ... Donghae. It read 60. As I scrolled though all the texts he had sent me asking me where i was. Then i caught my eyes on one of them .

" There must be a reason your not responding Jessica . Where are you ? No one will tell me. Wherever you are , I want you to be safe. That day I asked you to meet me for coffee... I wanted to tell you that I love you. It seems to be really soon to tell you this since I've just recently been apart form YoonA but its true. When I'm with you , you give off this aura .. this aura where I could just be myself. You forgave me for saying all those mean words to you... I love you for that. You have forgiveness , and your smile , your always smiling . The only time I see you frown is when your with Jay. And honestly I think you might like me too. I'll text you everyday for the next 2 months . After that I'll allow myself to move on. "

It was true I had received texts for the next 2 months. He loved me  , and because of my foolishness , now we can't be. I had to tell him i knew . I knew he loved me. I drove fast towards the arena . once i reached , I saw him on stage. As I tried to get in through the backdoor , i realised i left my Scan card inside the change room when i was putting on my makeup. The only way i could get in was through the front with all the screaming fans. Since all the fan girls were going crazy , I had to push my way through . I finally reached the front gate. The security guards questioned me but let me in since they knew who i was. I had to do a lot of pushing but i finally reached the 4th row from him . There was no way between these girls. So i stood there in the fourth row hoping he would see me. I should have planned this out further , I've been gone for 8 months some soshi's were a little /lot excited to see me.

" OMOMOMOMO SNSD JESSSICA !! YOUR BACK!"

I felt bad cause i somewhat stole the show , girls crowded for a hug , a picture, and autograph. I was soon tackled to the ground. I looked around hoping security could reach me , but to them this was just a bunch of girls crowding and spazzing over their oppas . Until i felt a pair of hands on my shoulders , and the crowd of girls went away.  I looked up to see my one and only night in shining armour. The other Suju Oppas had created a distraction , while Donghae had helped me away from the girls . SMTOWN family love.

" hae we need to talk !" I screamed so he could hear me.

" what ?!" he couldn't hear me. He pulled me back stage so we could talk .

" yea what were you saying Sica ?"

" I love you too . "

 "we've already talked about this sica."

" no . I've got all your texts. today , i didn't see them before . I'm sorry Hae. But I just needed to tell you , I was thinking about you everyday i was away from you. I really wish it wasn't to la---"

He kisses me . This was realer then any kiss i've had from any boy before. I felt it .I felt this so called thing called love . I know what it feels like now . ITs not something you can describe because when you have it , you wont need to describe it.

" Your not to late Sica. But i wish you were earlier. "

"back at you fishy."