for special_girl;; (1777 words)

We had talked about it countless times;
What should we do first when you get back from the jungle?

Some of Sungyeol’s answers were over the top, go to Namsan mountain!, some were more plausible, eat your Mother’s yummy kimchi~, and some were just painful, have you strip me so I can show you my lack of tan lines ;D.

It was one of our favorite games to play, because it focused on the idea of Sungyeol coming back, instead of the reality of my boyfriend being gone. It wasn’t like this was our first separation, but this one was much harder than the previous ones. It was one thing for me to be in Japan, somewhere that Sungyeol had been as well, only a couple hours off one another’s schedule.

This time everything was different. He was in Brazil, a country so far away that the only time I had ever encountered it was through a google images search (and that was only after Sungyeol had gotten casted in the reality show). Our time difference was massive, he was awake while I was asleep or vice versa, and if he found a free moment, I was inconveniently at a schedule. We had already been scolded - twice - by our managers for calling one another despite the long distance charges. Personally I didn’t understand the issue, it’s not like the company pays for our phone bills, and sometimes just hearing Sungyeol's voice was enough to give me strength to work harder.

But I played the part of the obedient member - only because I knew they would know if I disobeyed them - and resorted to texting Sungyeol all throughout the day. Even if we couldn’t directly respond to each other, it was still nice to wake up to a flurry of texts from my boyfriend;

It’s /really/ freaking hot today, the sun is not this unforgiving in Korea D:
I never thought I’d miss the practice room but I do, here I get the sounds of NATURE

The bugs are so big here that sometimes I am afraid to go to sleep o.O
I can build a fire now all by myself in just a couple of minutes!! -praise me-
Omg I found a lizard earlier when we were filming! I named it Sunggyu :P

I was glad that he was having so much fun, I knew that he was excited to have the opportunity to be part of such a big reality show, but I was also aware that he got homesick easily. I was worried that the far away location would translate to constant depressing messages and wishes to come home. Not that I wouldn’t be willing to support him, but when Sungyeol wasn’t happy I wasn’t happy. The thought of him being alone in a foreign place without me to lean on was too unbearable.

But thankfully he was doing well; he had completely immersed himself in the experience, and he did his best to make the show as interesting as possible. Sungyeol had been so worried before leaving to go to film in the Caribbean. He had researched all the different things he might encounter; animals, landscapes, and food that he might be faced with. He read mangas about living in the jungle, and even went to the gym with the rappers to try to build up his strength. It was all actually kind of adorable, seeing how dedicate he was to the whole experience, and now it was all paying off because he was finally coming home.

It was almost kind of amusing how the tables had turned. I had been so consumed with worrying about Sungyeol that I hadn’t thought about how I would feel being left behind. I felt Sungyeol’s absence everywhere. No matter where we went, even though I knew he wasn’t here, I would still search for him. When we were practicing for the new title track, I would wait to feel his fleeting touch on my arm at the beginning of the choreography only to feel nothing. I would expect to see him at the window seat when we wo