for AsianNoodles;; (3195 words)

Myungsoo could pretend that he was normal; that he didn’t have urges that called to him with the cycles of the moon, that he didn’t need to change, to hunt, to hurt. There were vices that made it easier to ignore what he really was, distractions from his volatile nature. Some were temporary, like the highs from alcohol and other mind altering substances that made it easier to forget what he would always evitably have to do.

In the beginning he fought it, but this desire, this need was a part of his blood. It was like trying to avoid the night; eventually, no matter how long or short the day was, it would come, the hypnotizing glow of the moon calling out to him in a primal way. He had made peace with the blood on his hands long ago; the simple truth was that he was a predator, and there was nothing he could do to change that.

But Sungyeol made him want to forget what was real, made him want to blur the lines between fact and fiction.

Made him want to believe that he could be human again.

Sungyeol; beautiful, beautiful Sungyeol, with his caramel colored hair and sweet smile, his big brown eyes always warm whenever he looked at him. He was pure, he was one of the few good things left in this twisted world, and for reasons Myungsoo could never begin to comprehend, Sungyeol was completely in love with him.

He did his best to stay away from Sungyeol, tried to push him away with cold looks and vicious words, but nothing worked, nothing could deter the beautiful boy from getting close to him. It was like a closed flower trying to deny the sun; eventually it would open up its petals, to bask in the warm rays. Flowers needed the sun, needed the warmth in order to survive.

Myungsoo wasn’t aware that he did too, until he had the pleasure of experiencing Sungyeol’s attention. He had always believed that he was cursed to be lonely, to roam from place to place without so much as a glance in his direction between his cycles.

But Sungyeol did so much more than just look at him. Sungyeol wanted to know his name, wanted to know what made him happy, wanted to know what made him feel alive. During their initial interactions Myungsoo was able to keep his mask in place, doing his best to keep up his walls to protect himself, to keep Sungyeol out. But it was hard to resist that gorgeous gummy smile, the invitations for companionship, for something more.

Myungsoo had never fallen in love before, wasn’t an expert on relationships, especially with other humans, but that didn’t change the fact that he knew with every fiber of his being, that he had fallen in love with Sungyeol.

It happened so naturally; slowly, and yet all at once, like the first rain on a spring day. One moment Sungyeol was something, and the next he was everything. It was easy to indulge in the pretty boy’s presence, to revel in his touches, and bask in his affection. Sungyeol made him feel lighter somehow, like the things he had done in the past didn’t matter, as long as he was with him in that moment. Myungsoo let himself get lost in those beautiful chocolate eyes, let himself forget who he was, let himself become the person Sungyeol wanted him to be.

Perhaps it was cruel of him to do so, especially when he knew it couldn’t last forever. As the days went on, as his love grew deeper and the boy’s affection for him grew stronger, Myungsoo couldn’t help but feel guilty. He could see it in the boy’s eyes, how much he wanted this thing between them to last forever. And no matter how many times Myungsoo told him that it couldn’t, that he would have to leave, he wouldn’t listen.

How can you expect me to believe that you will leave me Myungsoo, if you don’t even believe the words yourself?

It was torture, the sweetest kind of torture, kissing those lips and hating himself for it. If only things could be different, if only he could be around Sungyeol forever, if only the thing that Myungsoo had to protect Sungyeol from wasn’t himself.

I will only cause you pain.

Myungsoo told Sungyeol the words over and over, but Sungyeol did not hear the warning, the truth in them. He would shake his head, his long hair moving around his face with the intensity, a stubborn pout on his face.

How can you say that, when no one has ever made me feel this good?

Then Sungyeol would kiss Myungsoo, all tongue and desperation, his nails digging into Myungsoo’s shoulders. And Myungsoo would never pull away first, he wasn’t strong enough to, returning the embrace with just as much fervor. He was so weak when it came to Sungyeol, he needed him so much, needed to taste his lips and feel his skin.

Sungyeol was breathtaking, and open and honest, reaching out for him like he never wanted to let go. Each time they were one, Myungsoo couldn’t get enough, had to drag out their coupling as long as possible, in order to properly relish in the embrace of Sungyeol’s body. Sungyeol was everything he wasn’t; long pale limbs, soft fingertips, and unblemished skin. He was clean, so clean and pure all over in a way that Myungsoo could never be.

Being inside of Sungyeol was like being in a dream; feeling his warmth in the most intimate way possible, feeling close and alive and human as he moved within Sungyeol’s always welcoming body. And Sungyeol always wanted more, always called out his name so beautifully in the darkness as they moved together.

I’ve never been so close to someone before.

Myungsoo admitted in the aftermath, his breathing uneven and Sungyeol’s body still slightly shaking. Sungyeol looked like his salvation, his long hair messy and his bare body covered in a sheen of sweat. He would say those words every single time, once their hearts had calmed down and the temperature in the room had returned to normal. He needed Sungyeol to know that, he had to understand that it wasn’t just the , it was the vulnerability that made this, made him so special. Sungyeol was so endearingly special, so one of a kind in a way that he would never be able to replace.

It’s why he did the things he did, why he’d kiss and and mark all over the pretty boy’s skin, so Sungyeol, so he could know that he was there. That he had touched Sungyeol, that Sungyeol had allowed him to be with him, to feel him in a way that he had never let anyone else. It was fitting, that Sungyeol had given him untouched body; Myungsoo gave him his untouched heart in return.

But this, Sungyeol, was all just temporary; he would have to move on, he had to leave Sungyeol’s side, no matter how perfect it felt to be there. He couldn’t change who he was, he was a monster, and monsters only deserved nightmares; not happily ever afters.

He knew it would be hard to leave him, he knew that Sungyeol would not accept his words. But he was running out of time; it was always his greatest enemy and with Sungyeol, there could never be enough of it.

He had expected Sungyeol’s refusals, his clingy hands, and disbelieving eyes. He knew that Sungyeol would ask for him not to go, and yet when it happened, his heart still hurt. He couldn’t handle seeing Sungyeol like that, broken and desperate in the worst kind of way, calling out for him, begging for Myungsoo not to give