for lolaurakelley;; (3650 words)

“We both know that you can’t keep this up for much longer. Eventually he will lose patience, and he will grow tired of waiting for you to make a decision.”

I could tell by the tone of my brother’s voice that he was serious, I could imagine his eyebrows furrowing and his stare boring into me from all the way across the room. I still chose to ignore him, defiantly keeping my head turned away from him.

“You’re running out of time Sungyeol.”

Howon’s voice was harsher this time, prickling at my skin in the most uncomfortable of ways. I looked across my shoulder to glare back at him. “Time is the only thing I have.”

“If that is what you really think, then you are a fool and you do not deserve him.”

I was out of my chair and in his face in seconds; I couldn’t handle the mocking tone of his voice - especially because he was right. I opened my mouth to insult him for getting involved in my business, I didn’t particularly want to hear my brother’s opinions, but a firm hand on my chest stopped me. I looked down at the shorter male, his blonde hair moving as he shook his head.

“This isn’t helping either of you. Fighting each other is not the answer, nor will it change the bigger problem.”

“This is a family matter Dongwoo. Please stay out of it.” Howon’s voice was firm, but Dongwoo didn’t back down.

“Dongwoo is family now; you’re the one who made it that way.”

I saw the change go through Howon’s eyes, the annoyance morph into anger, and I knew I had gone too far. I fully expected for things to turn physical, I probably deserved it for hitting below the belt with my last remark, but Dongwoo had other plans. He pushed back on my chest harshly, his increased strength sending me back more than a couple of feet, ultimately putting some distance between me and Howon so he could get in between us. Howon wasn’t looking at him, still staring at me with fury in his eyes, hard and unforgiving.

“Howon.” Dongwoo called out to him softly, his hands raising to hold my brother’s face. “Howon.” His voice was deeper now, and Howon finally broke our stare to look down at his lover. Dongwoo’s fingers traced his jaw, trying to soothe him. “Let me talk to Sungyeol.” I could see Howon’s mouth opening in protest, but Dongwoo placed a finger over his lips. “Let me try, it might be easier for him to understand if he hears it from me, considering all things.”

I scoffed at that, considering all things, but deep down I knew Dongwoo was right. Howon and I’s relationship was good, but that didn’t mean I appreciated getting lectured by him. A part of me would be resistant to his advice, just because. Howon’s eyes flickered away from Dongwoo’s face, looking down at the floor as he thought it over. If the situation weren’t so tense, I would have found it vaguely amusing that Howon was trying to appear resilient, when all of us in the room knew he would eventually give into the blonde’s request.

“Come on, it won’t take long. Wait for me in our bedroom.” Dongwoo moved his thumbs over Howon’s cheekbones, the touch featherlight over his skin. “You’re tense… you need to feed. I’ll help you later.”

I closed my eyes at the thought, very much aware of what Dongwoo meant by that last statement. It was something I had never experienced, something I only allowed myself to imagine in the darkest places in mind; I had never dared to try it, I didn’t trust myself to be able to handle it, to be able to handle him.

Howon lifted his hand, caressing the curve of Dongwoo’s neck, feeling the blonde’s heartbeat under his fingertips. He pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to Dongwoo’s pulse point, brushing his lips all the way up to the blonde’s ear. “Hurry.”

I blinked and he was already gone, leaving Dongwoo and I alone in the room. I watched Dongwoo touch his neck, knowing that he was feeling where Howon’s lips had been, and I had to look away.

“Why do you act that way?” He looked over his shoulder at me, his sharp eyes bright even in the moonlight. “Why does our intimacy bother you?” He walked closer to me, his eyes searching my face. “Is it because you want it to?”

“Stop it.” I turned my back to him, staring out the window at the moon, forcing myself to look anywhere but his knowing eyes.

“You could have it.” Dongwoo’s voice was confident, and it made my blood boil.

“I said to stop it.”

“All you would have to do is ask.”

My hands balled into fists, my fingernails pinching into my palms. “Are you not listening? I can’t ask.”

“But you wouldn’t even have to; he would offer.” Dongwoo corrected himself, and his nonchalance at the situation bothered me.

“He wouldn’t even know what he would be getting himself into.”

“He doesn’t care.” Dongwoo stepped around my body to stand in front of me again. “He wants to be with you forever-”

“He doesn’t understand forever!” Dongwoo didn’t even flinch at my raised voice, and he stepped into my personal space with narrowed eyes.

“He loves you and that’s all that matters.”

As much as I wanted to believe that was true, I couldn’t. “He’s human-”

“So was I!” Dongwoo cut me off fiercely, his eyes going dark. He took a moment to calm himself, before repeating his statement. “So was I.”

“But you didn’t choose this path. You didn’t.” I reminded him, and I could see his composure start to slip.

“You’re right. I didn’t choose to be this way nor did I ask to be by Howon’s side. But it happened, and somewhere along the way I fell in love with him. And instead of pushing me away and punishing himself, Howon chose to be happy. I chose to be happy.”

“But are you really?” I pressed, curious to hear his response. “Can you really forgive him for killing you? For being the one responsible for stealing your humanity?”

Dongwoo laughed, the sound surprising me. “How can you be so naive when you’ve been alive for so long?”

My nose crinkled, a little offended by his light tone. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that what happened to me was a result of Howon going against his nature, of not accepting his fate. A vampire trying to live without human blood is not natural, and eventually there were consequences.”

“Your life. Your life was the consequence.”

“You’re right.” Dongwoo admitted, no hesitance in his voice. “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I stumbled into him when he reached his breaking point.” His eyes moved down to the floor, his voice getting softer as he spoke of the past. “He told me he doesn’t even remember most of it… doesn’t recall luring me in or even biting me. But he does remember the aftermath, seeing all the blood and realizing that he almost drained me dry. So you could argue that he is the one responsible for killing me, but I could just as easily say that he is the one who gave me life. He saved me, spilled his own blood in order to bring me back, and I’ve been with him every day since.”

Dongwoo sighed, sitting down tiredly on the couch in front of me. “The point is that life is something that we cannot control. Even if I gave up my humanity, what I got in exchange - a partner, a lover who will do anything to p