Best Friends
EXO's High School Love AffairsChen POV:
"You came!" Xiumin ran to me and bear hugged me, waddling forwards as I stumbled back and struggled to balance myself.
"Mmm I'm so glad you came! I was worried you wouldn't.."
"Since when do I ever not do what you tell me?"
"But you didn't answer your phone!"
"I was busy." I lied.
"What? No way. You were not!"
"Yeah I was." I pried Xiumin off of me despite the fact that I didn't want to let go.
"Did they hurt you?" He started playfully patting my arms and getting super close to my face, looking for the non existent scratches.
"No, just the usual." His expression fell and he sighed,
"The usual?"
"You know, toilets and homework." I began walking, expecting him to follow like he always did. When I heard footsteps behind me, I knew he was trailing close- and he continuously stepped on my heels so I knew he was very close.
"What did they take today...?"
'Take today' as in, they have taken things before. It was a sad thing to hear Xiumin ask..
I was ultimately torn between, he shouldn't have to ask those things and, I'm glad he cares. I didn't want him worrying about me but at the same time I did.
"Science notes and such."
"Oh.. You can have my notes!"
Xiumin jumped to my side and pulled on my arm,
"No, I don't want your notes."
"But-"
"Xiumin... You realize I'm your tutor right?"
"Yeah, so?" He stared at me blankly as if what I said went through one ear and out the other.
"So you realize I told you what to write in your notes?"
"Yeah, so?"
"So I already know everything." He blinked a few time and puffed out his cheeks,
"So, what you're saying is-" I deflated his cheeks with my hands and then continued to walk,
"Never mind, Xiumin..." He was clueless, as always. It wasn't like he was not intelligent, but sometimes he lacked.. Common sense. Xiumin was really amazing at writing though. Poetry was his favorite, and he was great at it. The only thing he somehow couldn't understand was science. It was like a switch turned off when he looked at chemical reactions or the structure of cells.. Which wasn't too bad because he had me, and science was my favorite.
"Oooh! Chen! I want some ice cream!" Xiumin pointed to a cafe that was for some odd reason selling ice cream as snow fell outside.
"It's freezing outside and you want more ice?" He grabbed my hands and shook them up and down, my arms following. I must have looked like a puppet.
"Awww please! I really want something to eat and it looks really good!" The way he pouted at me..
"Fine." It pissed me off.
"Hi, can I take your orders?" A nice woman came to our table with a note pad,
"A cup of the chocolate special, but leave out the nuts and add whip cream to that as well please.. Oh and a coffee."
"Alright, and for you hun?" She turned to Xiumin who just looked at me.
"Oh uh, I ordered for him."
"How nice, I don't see brothers together very often." Right after she left Xiumin and I bursted out laughing.
"Hahaha we look nothing alike!"
"I know!" We laughed until we cried, then finally settled back down.
"It looks to good!"
"Don't have a food-gasm."
"Mmmmmm~" Xiumin was ually eating the ice cream off a spoon to tease me, but all I could see was the huge nut slowly disappear into his mouth. He began to chew. I sprang out of the booth and smacked Xiumin's cheeks a few times.
"Spit it out, spit it out, spit it out!"
"Wut!?" With his mouth full, he stopped chewing. I started panicking,
"It has nuts, hurry and spit it out!" After I said the word 'nuts', melted ice cream flew onto the table, spreading into a small glob. I quickly grabbed a water bottle from behind the counter and opened it, handing it to Xiumin. He was busy wiping up the sticky mess, but he took the bottle anyways.
"Hurry up and swish your mouth." He, like everyone else, just stared at me.
"Hurry up!" Xiumin obeyed again and quickly rinsed his mouth, trying to clear any residue of the nuts. He awkwardly spit it into the garbage can, attempting to be discrete. I was practically sweating, I had gotten so worked up.
"Oh my! I'm so sorry!" The waitress had shuffled over to us and began bowing like no other.
"Here. But next time you might not get so lucky, be more careful." I gave her the money for my still hot coffee, Xiumin's one-bite ice cream and his 'stolen' water bottle. Of course I shouldn't have paid, but I wasn't thinking straight. I dragged Xiumin out of the cafe and sat him on the bench, my heart still pounding from the adrenaline rush.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah.. I'm okay, thank you.." Xiumin was deathly allergic to nuts. If he swallowed even one, his throat would swell like crazy. Xiumin looked as if he was about to cry, he must have been shooken up.
"Wait here.." After I re entered the cafe and bought Xiumin safe ice cream, then handed it to him with a red spoon.
"I won't make you spit this out, don't worry." Xiumin took the ice cream with shaky hands and just stared at it for a moment in his lap,
"I was so scared."
"But it's okay now, you're okay. Just a close call.." I was never good at comforting others.. Even when Kyungsoo was upset, he usually went to Chanyeol or we went to a movie to get his mind off of the problem.
"I can't thank you enough for what you do for me, Chen." He then looked up at me, his big eyes making me melt,
"You're a true best friend."
I didn't know if I felt like I'd been shot in the heart or if I felt like I was on could nine.
Friend zoned vs. we're best friends, it was difficult.
Xiumin drove me insane.
Always lightly brushing my hand with his or bumping my shoulder because he can't walk straight.. He never noticed like I did though.
Xiumin was he most caring person on earth (minus Kyungsoo) and for some reason I always let myself believe I was special to him. I wasn't though- well that I knew of at least, I liked to keep my hopes high. But even for me, who always looked for good things during hard times, it was hard for me to be satisfied it. This was my hard time, liking Xiumin. The good I saw in it was that I was his friend and he at least liked me as that- but it was also bad. It was hard being his friend when I didn't want to be just his friend. It was a never ending circle of frustration that I had to deal with.
"We're going to Sehun's house tonight and watching a movie. You have to promise to sit by me because it's that movie you were talking about where the mom dies and I'm going to be balling." We shared his ice cream as we walked to his house, taking our sweet time,
"Who said I was coming?"
"Don't be stupid, of course you're coming. Like I was saying, you have to promise because no one else is going to let me cry. Promise?!"
"Ok ok, I promise."
Xiumin's logic: He had none. One, I never agreed to go or was even asked and he basically told me I was going somewhere- not asked. Two, he made me promise to sit by him when he didn't even know if I was going or not! So many things went on in his brain, even I couldn't figure out the science behind it- and I had 105% in science class.
"We're going to stop by my house so and you can shower and use my clothes or something, then we will go to Sehun's place." I shrugged,
"Sounds good." Even if I wanted to say no, he wouldn't have let me stay home.
"So are you doing okay?"
"Yeah.. I'm good." Xiumin and I were kicking a rock back and fourth.
"Liar, you are not. There's something bothering you. I'll find out sooner or later, so to might as well tell me."
"That's what I'm afraid of.."
"What?" I kicked the rock into the bushes by accident,
"Oh, nothing." Xiumin was right. He would eventually find out I liked him so I didn't know why I still hid it.
For all I knew, he already found out.
"Umm, Xiumin?"
"Yeah?"
"You sure these are going to fit?"
"We're the same size. Yes they will fit."
"Um that isn't the problem."
"Then what is it? Don't like the pants?"
"No, they're just a little tight...."
"What? Really? Did you get fat? Let me in so I can see."
"No!" He couldn't see me like this. It wasn't that I was having a 'problem' but I was having a problem. The legs of the pants fit like a glove, and the waist would have fit...
Bang!
The door flew open.
"Hey I t-"
"Get out!"
"OH MY G-"
"SHHHH!" Xiumin gawked his eyes at me and whisper-yelled.
"It's huge!"
"GET OUT!" I pushed Xiumin out of the bathroom and slammed the door.
"U-uh I'll get a different pair.."
Sweat pants.
He got me sweat pants.
I showed up at Sehun's house in sweats and a t-shirt next to Xiumin who decided to also put on sweats.
"We're watching a movie we may as well be comfortable." Yeah right. He gave me sweat pants because he didn't think any other pants that he had would fit.
I wasn't fat, it wasn't that he was smaller than me.
I'd just always been 'larger' in certain areas and it was painful to wear tight pants.
"Chen!" Everyone waved at us as we walked in, they were my second family. Everyone was so open and we were so comfortable with one another, I liked it. Kyungsoo and I never had that growing up and for us to find people- the cool people- it was like a dream come true. We'd always watched them from afar, making cross comments even though we had secretly wished to be apart of it.. Then, it turned out Kai was gay and boom, new friends.
"Sit by me!" Suho patted the couch, and I almost sat down, but Xiumin grabbed my shirt in a 'passive aggressive' way.
"There's room for both of us, Xiumin."
"I wanted to sit on the chair."
"But it's smaller." For some reason, he wouldn't look up at me. His hands were still connected to my shirt and his head was bowed,
"I'll just sit there.." It was as if everyone stopped what they were doing to watch us. Xiumin sat down in the chair in a sulky way, obviously disappointed. All I had said was there was more room on the couch, not that I wouldn't sit by him. I shrugged, and kept my promise, walking over to Xiumin.
"Scoot over fatty."
"Huh?"
"I promised right? Scoot!"
"Oh!" Immediately, the my spot on the chair became larger and I sat down. Our thighs were pressed against each other but we still were able to fit next to one another. I felt fine, thinking nothing of the earlier incident, but Xiumin was secretly stewing over it,
"H-hey Chen?"
"Hmmm?"
"Um just so you know.." He was so close to my ear he didn't have to move much to whisper. The movie was pretty loud even though it wasn't an action or horror movie- a tragedy perhaps- so no one could hear us.
"I didn't see anything."
"What? Yeah you did."
"I mean, I did. Yeah. But... Not like everything."
"Just let it go, we're both guys."
"I guess you're right, okay.." Even though I said it was fine and implied I didn't care, I cared.
I cared so much it made me sweat just thinking about it, I had been so embarrassed. It's one thing for a guy's friend to see his , but it's another when it's the guy's friend and crush. Not that he exactly saw me , but it was close enough. My tight boxers barely covering everything, trying to squeeze into Xiumin's pants.. That's what he saw.
I wanted to bury my head in a hole for the rest of my life.
"Awww Chen!"
"Shhh it's ok, don't cry anymore."
"B-but it's just so horrible!"
"But it's over now, just calm down.. It's okay.."
"I can't calm down! It was so depressing, Chen!" The movie barely been done for ten minutes, and then Xiumin had an ultimate melt down. I knew he'd cry, but I didn't think he would wale this obnoxiously- not that I hated it since he was gripping my shirt and crying on my shoulder.
"Just get over it, Xiumin.."
"How can you say that?!" Xiumin backed up like he was offended, it was almost hysterical and I had a hard time choking my laughter.
"Yeah, Chen! Don't be so insensitive. Come here Xiumin.." Suho began to baby Xiumin and started to pull him into a hug.
I did not want that.
Quickly grabbing Xiumin's hand, I pulled him back into a hug, trying not to seem to protective. His arms immediately flew around me, squeezing me tighter and tighter until I could feel his warmth.
"It was just so sad.."
"At least it didn't actually happen, right? You still have your parents and all of us, right?"
"But still!" I could feel everyone's eyes on Xiumin and I, but I continued to baby him.
"Shhh, it's all okay now."
"But she died." I was running out of things to say, but I knew I had to spit something out quick before he starting tearing up again. So I said the first thing that had popped up in my mind,
"I'm here and I won't leave you." I then murmured to myself,
"Isn't that good enough."
"...really?"
"Of course." Xiumin wasn't a child, but sometimes I wondered how he could be so naive when it came to things like this.. Things like love and crushes, it all just didn't click with him.
"Okay okay, break it up love birds." Sehun split us up, but then ruffled Xiumin's hair. He was weird like that. He would do something that seemed cold hearted- like strip Xiumin of his comfort- but then he'd do something that made it okay. Sehun never apologized and he was a bit of a bruit, but his caring actions made up for it. I would never understand Luhan's heart, but I decided it wasn't like I needed to love Sehun anyways, so I never asked.
For almost an hour we just sat around talking and laughing. There had been so much going on within the friend group, it seemed like it had been years since we all laughed and hung out together. Luhan was on the couch poking Sehun, who looked grumpy, clearly trying not to laugh. Baekhyun was fan-girling with Tao over something while Changyeol was having some man to man time with Kris- which I had to admit was hilarious to watch. Suho and Lay- actually, I didn't know exactly what they were doing. Suho was nice and pretty cool and all, but he was strange. Same with Lay, except Lay was more airy. They were playing each other in some game on their phones, moving like they had ants in their pants. They were both extremely kind, it was hard to ever say anything negative to them and impossible to ever get anything negative out of them. I think that because everyone starting coupling up, they stuck together by default, and didn't seem to mind each other's company. Xiumin and I were honestly not doing anything. We weren't talking, we weren't playing games or moving around. I was sitting on the chair with Xiumin sitting diagonally on my lap, his head tilted back on the chair. My arms were wrapped around his slim waist in a loose grip-it was nice. I was so close to him; Our hair touched, our heads touched. The thing about Xiumin and I was that we didn't always have to talk to each other. Silence was one of our ways of hanging out, just enjoying one another's company. Granted, we usually played games or did something where we spoke, but I didn't mind not doing anything.
I liked when he was close to me.
I wanted to be closer.
"Guys~" Kai laid across Kyungsoo's outstretched legs on he floor, calling out to everyone like he was totally wasted- and we hadn't been drinking. Kyungsoo usually just observed everyone and sat quietly but because Kai was so touchy feely, he spent most of his time slapping Kai's hand away or telling him to shut up-
Never fully meaning it of course.
"I'm hungry, can we go out to eat?"
"Kai you just ate, you fatty." Kyungsoo scolded Kai like it was second nature and it amazed us all because the only ones brave enough to yell at him was Luhan and Sehun. Luhan because he yelled and nagged everyone and Sehun because he was just an - sometimes (all the time..)
"Nahh Kai I'm not very hungry." I could feel Xiumin slightly vibrating as he spoke, and his warm breath gently grazing my hair making it flutter.
"AWW come on guys, my stomach is growling! Kyungsoo you're coming." Kai stood up and dragged the reluctant Kyungsoo with him and forced him to put on his shoes.
"So it's seriously just us two?"
"Ah, wait. Yeah, I'm hungry too, I'll go with you." I realized I hadn't eaten since breakfast and decided it would be good to get some food on my empty stomach.
"Oh, Chen you're going?"
"Yeah.. I haven't eaten since breakfast."
"Oh.." Xiumin got off my lap, leaving my legs slightly cold. I put on my shoes at the door, lazily slipping my feet in instead of untying them. When I looked up, Xiumin was just standing there, swaying his arms back and fourth in an almost sad way. Everyone else was doing something except him and I figured he felt a little awkward since I was leaving.
"Let's go."
"Ah, yeah. I'll catch up with you." Kai and Kyungsoo left, Kai starving and Kyungsoo rolling his eyes.
"Xiumin,"
"Hmm?" His soft, round eyes looked up at me, making my heart thump.
"Let's go."
"Go where?"
"Out to eat."
"But I'm not hungry.." I gently tossed his shoes to him,
"You don't have to eat, you just have to keep my company." It was true that I wanted him to keep me company, I always wanted him to be with me, but I also didn't want to be alone with the tyrant and his rebellious servant.
"Oh, Okay!" Xiumin began beaming sunlight again as he eagerly put on his shoes and wobbled over to me.
"Bye guys." I waved at everyone who was barely paying attention,
"See ya...." They all murmured back, but once Xiumin spoke, everything changed.
"Goodbye everyone!"
"Bye!"
"See you later!" Jerks. I scoffed and turned the door handle. Everyone just loved Xiumin, there was nothing not to love. It wasn't like I wasn't lovable, I was just more adult like and Xiumin was well.. Say an innocent toddler in a young adults body.
But even then, his face looked like child's.
"Come on, if we jog we can probably catch up to them!" I started running in the moon and streetlight lot road, thinking Xiumin was behind me. But when I turned around, he was still walking aways back. Confused, I jogged back.
"What's wrong?"
"Sorry, my ankle hurts."
"Your ankle? Why?" Xiumin dragged his feet, making a scraping noise and shrugged,
"Just from today."
"And what happened today?"
"I kicked someone."
"...what!" I almost started laughing. The image of Xiumin kicking someone brought tears to my eyes.
"I kicked somebody!" I couldn't help it,
"Hahahha! No way, really?! You!?"
"Yes! Stop laughing." He folded his arms and continues to walk in an angered way.
"Okay, I'm sorry for laughing. Why'd you kick someone?"
"I was mad."
"So you have anger issues?"
"NO!" Xiumin smacked me on the back,
"See! You do have anger issues." I popped my head in his face and began poking him. He tried to fight it, but he couldn't resist the urge to smile as his lips spread across his face.
"So seriously why'd you kick someone?"
"The guy that was bullying you, I kicked him."
"Ah, Xiumin.. You didn't have to do that." The restaurant lights shown bright ahead of us,
"I wanted to. I was mad, so I kicked him." It was kinda cute how angry he was getting.
"You still could get suspended."
"I don't care!"
"I'm not worth getting suspended for, so don't go doing those things ok?"
"No. You are worth it, I'd rather get expelled!"
"B-"
"I like you.. That's why." Um. Excuse me, huh?
"I like you.. Too?" I was extremely puzzled.
"No, I mean, the way Luhan likes Sehun.."
"Wait so... You're in love with me? Why are you.." I tried not to let the excitement change the tone of my voice, but my heart was beating so fast.
Don't get you're hopes up, Chen.
"But you're not gay, Xiumin. I think you're just tired.. Maybe we should go home ins-"
"I know I'm not gay." This was not like Xiumin at all. He was reserved and cute, shy, not upfront like this.
He must have been joking.
"Then you don't love me. Look, this joke isn't funny, so let's st-"
"Why isn't it funny? If it's a joke, why aren't you laughing?" Damn.
"It isn't funny, that's why." I began walking away. I couldn't tell him, I wasn't ready to loose my best friend, not yet.
"No!" Xiumin grabbed my wrist and tugged me back, whirling around in front of me.
He stood close. Too close.
"Tell me why it isn't funny, Chen."
"Look, it's not cool to with people's emotions so if you'd please stop and let go of me, I'd appreciate that." I was hitting mood swings faster than a woman on her period without even blinking an eye. I was trying to hide how flustered I was inside since I had no clue what was going on.. Was he serious? Or was it a joke? It was safer to assume it was a joke, so I did.
"I'm not ing with you, I told you how I felt. It's not a joke.." He let go of me while dropping his shoulders. Even though he was my height, he seemed so much smaller.
"You're not gay, we know that. You're not in love with me, I know that."
It was a sick joke.
"Whatever bet you made with Kyungsoo or Sehun to get me to confess, well you won. No go reap your rewards and leave me alone."
"You love me?" I would bet a million bucks that Sehun put him up to this. Sehun was always calling me a wimp and this is something he'd do.
But Xiumin?
How could he..
"Yeah. You got your ing answer, now go tell everyone, k? I'm out of here." I began walking away from the restaurant and back down the road, leaving Xiumin standing still only for a moment.
"Wait, Chen!"
"Shut it, Xiumin! You're not in love with me so stop pretending you are. You have my answer and I just want to be alone." I was angry I caved and told him, would today be the day I lost my best friend?
"How could you think I'd joke about this?" He was trying to keep up with my brisk walking, taking a few steps, jogging for a moment then walking again.
"You're not like me, Xiumin.. You don't have feelings for other men the way I do, the way I have them for you. It hurts so damn much to be around you and not have you and know I never have a chance, so stop making it harder on me. Don't get my hopes up." My eyes were dry, his eyes were dry. I hadn't had a moment to even think about crying, and I didn't feel like crying, either.
"You don't understand, Chen. Even I don't understand, but I'm not joking. I love you and it is the same way.. I see the way Luhan looks at Sehun and the way Kai looks at Kyungsoo, and I look at you the same way. I'd never do anything to hurt you on purpose, and it pisses me off you'd even think I'm joking! Who the hell would joke like this?" Was I the one in the wrong?
"Xiumin, I'm sorry but I just can't believe you. I never intended on telling you my feelings, and right now I feel kinda numb. I.. Don't want to be around you for a little while, okay? It isn't your fault exactly. It's just me and I need time away from you, get a breath of fresh air, think things over."
"No.." His tone was slightly whiny and slightly upset as he put his arms around my waist from behind me. "Just give me a chance."
"Xiumin, I just can't do this anymore." My tears finally made their way to my eyes and began to roll down my face in frustration.
"I can't.. I can't keep myself from you, I can't stop even though it's so damn painful. I'm around you all the time and I just want to be with you, don't act like you want the same for my sake, it makes me hurt." He squeezed me even tighter,
"Don't stay away then. Don't make this harder, Chen.. Just be with me like Luhan and Sehun and let's be happy. The more I think about you leaving the more I want you to stay, can we just try it? Can we try being together?"
"What I want, isn't what you want. I want you to love me with all your heart, not just half. I have no boundaries and in the end it may hurt you."
"You've never hurt me before, I'm not scared."
"Yeah, but I am.." What was this? Him hugging me in the street, talking about being together? What kind of twisted dream was I having? Everything seemed surreal, like a different universe. Xiumin was what I wanted most of all, but I was afraid he'd get scared and run away because of what I wanted in the relationship and what he wasn't comfortable with.
"I'm willing to try it, Chen.."
"Do you.. Honestly love me?"
Xiumin POV:
"Yeah, yeah I do." The truth was I didn't fully know if I did or not. But I found myself always looking at Chen differently than others and feeling jealous at smallest things. He was an amazing person, if I didn't fully love him then, I would fully love him one day.
"Okay.."
"Okay?"
"I'll try."
"Well don't you two look happy." Kai was stuffing his face with food when Chen and I finally entered the restaurant.
"Yeah, a little.." I smiled at Chen, who smiled back at me.
"Say what's behind your back?" Kyungsoo began to smirk and then his smile grew even bigger,
"Are those two hands I see?"
"Psht. No, what are you talking about..." Chen was blushing and I was sure I was too, but I didn't mind. Kyungsoo moved to sit by Kai, then Chen and I slid into the booth.
"So Xiumin, how did Chen ask you out?!" Kyungsoo was beginning to resemble Luhan... It was scary.
"Well.."
"So you're dating?! Ha HAH! I've been waiting forever for this day to come! I'm telling everyone."
"No!" Chen and I simultaneously rejected Kyungsoo.
"We're just.. Trying it out." He spoke awkwardly and I could tell it was hard for him to say it.. It must have been hard for him to be in a relationship that was unstable.
"No, we're together." I held his hand again and smiled at him. At first he hesitated, but then he smiled too.
"You can tell everyone." I wasn't planning on giving him up anytime soon, anyways. He was too special to me to lose.
He was my best friend.
Suho POV:
"Looks like Chen and Xiumin are dating now, too." I said after Kyungsoo group messages all of us with the news.
"Wow.." Lay was sprawled across my bedroom floor playing games on his phone while I relaxed on my bed, reading a book he recommended.
Well, a comic book to be exact.
"How do you beat this level?"
"Which one?" I sat up and joined him on the floor,
"Level 24, I can't jump over this beam.."
"Oh, you don't go over, you go under."
"Oh, DUH." Making a small snort-laugh, I pulled myself off the ground and returned to my bed. Lay was an interesting person.. After everyone paired up, we weren't forgotten or anything, but we just naturally formed a friendship. Lay was extremely good at video games, and he loved comics. He was also a little childish.. but was still cool because he was extremely smart- most of the time.
"Hey, Suho." Lay randomly paused his game and look up at me,
"I have a question."
"What?"
"...why are egg yolks so yellow?"
He was also a little.. Weird.
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