Caution: Swearing and possibly a very long oneshot

Taeyeon looked into the mirror. 

Her left hand shook as she reached out and placed the tips of her fingers on the mirror in front of her. 

She could barely recognise this face in front of her — dishevelled blonde hair, dark semicircles under her eyes, pale skin. 

This looked nothing like the girl she once knew. 

“Mommy! I’m gonna be late for school!” A high-pitched voice shouted down the stairs as Taeyeon quickly jolted herself out of her reverie.

“I know sweetie! Go wear your shoes first okay?” Taeyeon patted the back of Seulgi’s head as her daughter nodded earnestly before skipping to the front door. 

Hurriedly, Taeyeon applied the rest of her makeup and left her dresser in a mess before rushing out to the front door where her daughter was waiting for her. She slipped on her shoes before grabbing her daughter’s hand as they headed out to the nearest bus station. 

This was Kim Taeyeon’s daily routine; wake up, rush Seulgi to school, head over to her waitressing job at a cafe on the outskirts of town, work till night fell before grabbing some food and picking Seulgi up before going home together with her daughter. 

Sometimes Taeyeon would wonder how she got into such a mess. 

It seemed like ages ago when Taeyeon decided to chase her dream to become a singer. She had left her home in high school, disowned by her family after they found out that she cared little about her grades and preferred to spend her time singing instead. She was picked up by a dodgy record company who promised to make her a star (and at that age Taeyeon was gullible enough to believe them) and within 5 months, the company filed for bankruptcy, leaving Taeyeon on the streets with no home to return to.

From thereon, things just went downhill. A high school certificate wasn't enough to land Taeyeon a decent job. She had to settle for some shabby store at one of the most desolate areas of the neighbourhood, her satoori damaging her multiple attempts at landing a decent job. 

When she had finally made enough to rent a place to stay, she had fell prey to a man who simply wanted to get himself off.  

Two months later she found out she was with child. 

And with that, Taeyeon found her life spiralling out of control once more. For three months on end she debated whether or not to abort the child or whether she should just kill herself to end this miserable life of hers. 

Until she found that picture tucked away in the back pocket of some old worn out jeans. 

The colour had faded but she still recognised that person in the picture next to her.

Hyoyeon…

Her childhood sweetheart. 

She had been the only person to support Taeyeon when she told her about her dream to become a singer. Taeyeon could still remember every detail on the day that she had left. 

Flashback

“Call me ok?” 

“I will!”

“And I expect to see you on television soon yeah?” Hyoyeon laughed her throaty laugh. It was a sound that Taeyeon was definitely gonna miss when she was miles away. 

“Yeah I’ll try!” 

“Don’t sound so sad. You may be miles away from me but we’re still under the same sky,” Hyoyeon smiled. “See that star up there? If you miss me just look at it and you’ll won’t miss me anymore.” 

“It shines just as bright as you,” she had replied, snuggling deeper into the crook of Hyoyeon’s neck. This warmth was going to be something she wasn't gonna feel in a while. 

“It has to, otherwise you can’t spot me,” Hyoyeon nuzzled her nose into her girlfriend’s hair. 

“You’re gonna do great, Tae.” 

And they kissed goodbye. 

How many months had elapsed since they parted? Taeyeon couldn't remember. She felt tears clouding her vision as she started sobbing, hugging herself as she tried to reenact the warmth she missed, remember every detail of that face she hadn't seen in ages, recall the laugh that she could hear no more. 

And there was still that child. 

Sometimes doing the right thing might be the most difficult thing to do.

With those words Hyoyeon had breathed into her ear one night as the first snow started falling, Taeyeon embraced the life inside of her and decided that no matter what, she wasn’t gonna let fate decide everything for her. 

———

“Ah Taeyeon, you can set up everything by yourself right?” 

“Yes sir of course!” Taeyeon agreed with a smile. This waitressing job that she had taken up paid her better than her previous job at the shabby store and she managed to land it due to her singing abilities — live music in the evening was one of the cafe’s specialties. She had an employer who treated her well, often attributing the increase in patrons to Taeyeon’s alluring singing. 

And it was the singing, that let Taeyeon take her mind off everything in her life that didn’t seem to fit in at the moment. 

———

It was nearly ten-thirty when Taeyeon finished up her work at the cafe and eleven when she picked Seulgi up from a friend’s house and brought her home. After tucking Seulgi in to bed, Taeyeon retired to her own, clutching a toy phone to her chest. 

It had been a daily ritual for Taeyeon before she fell asleep — letting the voice of her beloved lull her to sleep. Flipping open the phone, Taeyeon pressed the phone to her ear as Hyoyeon’s voice echoed through her head. 

“Tae! I know this is a terrible parting gift but I couldn't think of a better way to pass this message on to you in an authentic fashion.”

Taeyeon smiled at the girly giggle that followed after and pressed the phone closer to her ear. 

“This toy phone doesn't have a long recording time so I guess I just wanna say that no matter what happens, I’ll be here for you. Hope this helps in times of need. Really wish I could have followed you to Seoul.

“I miss you loads.

“And I love you to the moon and back.” 

*beep*

Even after the beep resounded, Taeyeon remained conscious for a while. She stared at the night sky through the window. The star that Hyoyeon pointed out couldn't be seen that night. 

We’re still under the same sky.

As Hyoyeon’s voice echoed through her head, Taeyeon tried, to the best of her imagination, to draw out Hyoyeon’s face in the night sky to replace the star which she couldn't see. It hurt that as the days passed, the face she thought she knew so well in her head was becoming as shapeless as the clouds that were shrouding the moon that night. She had to refer to the sole picture she had to remember her love’s face more and more often and Taeyeon was so scared, so very scared that she would forget the face of someone she treasured so much.

Hyo I have no idea if you can hear me but since we’re all under the same sky I’m gonna give it a try. 

Today went along pretty normally I guess, taking Seulgi to school and then working. Oh yea, Seul…I have no idea if you ever meet her if you’ll accept her since she isn't your child after all but I hope you do though. Her smile looks so much like yours. And your sense of humour as well…

And with that, Taeyeon was fast asleep. 

— — —

Hyoyeon jolted wide awake. 

Grumbling, she slammed her hand on the alarm clock next to her bed. 

“Jessica what the hell! For ’s sake why do you even have an alarm when you don't even wake up to it?!”  

When no response was heard, Hyoyeon growled and covered her head with her pillow. It was impossible for her to go back to sleep now. The problems of being a light sleeper. 

“You fuc