“APPA, APPA PLEASE, PLEASE.”

Standing by the side, watching the siblings cry, Mark and Jackson can’t help but let the tears slip out of their eyes. Even the heartless Mark cries.

You sat down as your knee went weak, but your hand still held tightly onto the cold hand of your dad, almost digging into his palm. You didn’t want to let go because once you let go, you were afraid you won’t be able to hold on to it anymore.

JunSeo and SeongJun walked over and got down beside you, the two of them hugged you and the three of you cried in each other’s’ arms.

Reluctantly, you were dragged out of the room by Mark which was requested by JunSeo. Mark sat you down the bench at the hospital garden while Jackson followed SeongJun and JunSeo to complete the paperwork.

Mark held onto your shoulder while squatting in front of you. You were still crying and your breathing get harder. He wiped away your tears with his thumb while looking at you, heartbroken.

“What do I do now, Mark. My dad is gone, he’s really gone.” Your eyes met his and he stood up and shifted himself to sit beside you. Unexpectedly, he pulled you into his embrace.

“I know it’s not alright, I am not going to ask you to stop crying. Cry, cry all you want." He rubbed yourself back comfortingly, "Your dad is gone now but you still have your brothers with you. They are very worried about you even when they are miserable themselves. You see, there are people who still cares for you, got7 cares for you, and I care for you. So please, after you finished crying every drop of your tears, get back on your feet and start anew” He said while patting your back and you cried in his embrace. 

After all the paperwork at the hospital is done, Mark brought you back to your brothers. When you saw Jackson, your anger raised and you charged towards him, which caught him off guard. You grabbed on to his collar.

 “YOU SAID HE WILL BE OKAY! YOU SAID TO TRUST YOU! YOU JERK! MY DAD IS DEAD!” You screamed and shouted at Jackson.

“Stop it!” Mark pulled your wrist forcefully but you refused to stop. Your brothers tried to stop you too but you just didn’t want to pull away. Jackson felt bad, because he couldn’t do anything, so he let you do whatever you want to because he knew you were feeling really terrible.

“Min So Ah stop it.” JunSeo ordered sternly.

“YOU COULD’VE DONE SOMETHING BUT WHY DIDN’T YOU! ISN’T THIS YOUR FAMILY’S HOSPITAL?!”

“MIN SO AH!” JunSeo forcefully pulled you away from Jackson. “LET GO OF ME” you swung his off you. 

“I said stop it Min So Ah”

“Oppa too! If you tell me earlier, I could’ve spent more time with Appa!” you look hurtfully into your brother’s eyes. JunSeo felt guilty instantly after hearing you said that.

“How many days Min So Ah? 2 days? 3 days? Even if we tell you, what would’ve changed?” SeongJun knew JunSeo already felt bad enough, and he didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He knew that JunSeo would only feel even worse rather than scolding you for throwing tantrum. He knew that his brother did that in order for you not to be too worried and was afraid it would affect your health condition, he knew it was selfish of them but they wanted to best for you. No one wanted this to happen, no one wanted your dad to pass away like this, but they too, couldn’t do anything to stop it. You knew that too but you just couldn’t help it. JunSeo held out a hand in front of SeongJun to stop him from continuing.

You paused after hearing that sentence, and just walked away without saying a single word. Tears kept flowing non-stop, it amazes you that you had so much tears, you’ve cried too much but you didn’t want to care.

“Don’t worry, I will take care of her, you’ve had a long day too, there is many things needed to be taken care as well, please don’t hesitate to tell me or Jackson if you needed any help.” Mark told your brothers sensibly. Mark ended before he ran off to look for you.

“Hyung, please don’t worry about the hospital fees, I will settle for you. For now, just focus on your father’s wake.” Jackson felt bad for SoAh and he wanted to help, he wasn’t angry you lashed out on him, he cares for you too.

“I’m sorry about my sister. Thank you so much Jackson”

“No problem hyung” Jackson nodded before leaving to settle the paper works for the hospital bill, and on his way, he contacted Got7 to let them know, and they offered to help you take leave from school too.

“Min So Ah! Where are you?” Mark followed you out but he lost you at the playground outside the hospital. “So Ah! So Ah… can you come out? Huh? I know you are sad, you know I’m here right, talk to me, cry to me, whatever, just don’t… just don’t hide away from us.” Mark was genuinely worried for you, he wanted to hug you and tell you everything will be alright but he knows that it’s not alright, he wanted to tell you to trust him, but again, who is he to say that. What can he give you? He wanted to tell you how much he love you. He wanted to be with you but he didn’t want to tell you during this sensitive period when you are sad. You will only be upset at him.

He heard sobbing under the slide and he approached slowly, you were tucked into a ball and cried in your arms. Mark slide himself under the slide and sat quietly beside you. He pulled you into his embrace and patted your head. You opened up your arms and hugged him back. If he was shocked, he held in well.

“Mark, what am I going to do now, I don’t have dad anymore” You said in between your cries.

“You still have your two brothers, So ah, you have us. You know how much you are hurting your brothers? Like they are what you have now, you are what they have now too.”

“But it’s my fault, how am I going to face them, they are going to hate me, they are going to throw me away like how Appa and Omma did. Maybe that’s why they didn’t tell me that appa is in hospital.”

“No, you shouldn’t think that way. They will never hate you. You know they just didn’t want you to worry, they always think of you and they care for you a lot. Do you care for them then?”

“Of course I do. They are my everything, I can’t lose them, I am just afraid they won’t accept me” You choked on the sentence. Mark pulled you apart from him and held your face with his palm, he wiped away your tears.

“Listen to me SoAh, your brother will never ever leave you. They love you too much to not accept you. Even if your brothers leave you, I will always be here for you, always remember that. You can always come to me. Now, if you are done crying, let’s go back to your brothers, they are very worried about you.” Receiving at nod from you, he went out of the slides and held out a hand to you. You hesitate before taking his hand and came out under the slides.

You requested to wash your face before meeting your brothers

The pain on your head didn’t subside but instead, it was throbbing, and the pain was getting worse.

“urg” you grunted, you kneeled down on the floor and grabbed onto your head. You tried to stand up but failed. Mark was patiently waiting outside felt something was out of place.

“You’re awake!” Mark’s excited voice make you turn your gaze to him 

You didn’t know if you’ve dreamt about your dad or did it really happen. You were confused.

“Mark”

“Yeah?”

“Mark”

“Yeah SoAh?”

“Was I … perhaps… dreaming? My dad is still… still alive right?”

Mark was caught off guard by your unexpected question.

“Erm, So Ah, I’m sorry”