Sandara had regained her composure slowly and I've never felt so helpless. I came up to her mother's bed and sat down on the monoblock chair beside it. I listened to her sobs as it rends my own heart, just wishing she wasn't in as much pain as she sounded. I waited with abated breath, holding it in until my chest hurt. I waited for her to stop crying... it felt like she never would. I bury my face in my hands and feel a gentle squeeze as cold hands wrap around it. I look up to red eyes of her mother looking at me symphatetically. Like it was me who needed sympathy. Large, fat droplets of tears flow from my eyes and I cover my face in shame. I have never cried since my own mother's funeral... and it had been twelve long years... somehow, I forgot I was capable of crying.

"Seung hyun," her mother whispers, "I am sorry." Her voice was hoarse, cracked and sincere. I roughly brush my eyes with the back of my palm. I did not like the sound of her sincere sorry... it sounded a lot like how my mother sounded just before she died. I feel a bit of anger . I rub my face callously.

I hate I'm sorry's, I hate them. Specially those ones that I didn't deserve. Why be sorry to me? I look up to the sight of her mother brushing her hair, carressing her back, trying to comfort my Dara from a broken heart of unstoppable loss. I wanted to steal her away. Just cover her eyes, her ears, make her forget pain. Because my Dara is like that unassuming flower, beautiful just because she was. And she deserved endless warm springs, none of this cold winter deaths.

When she did regain her composure, she shrugs away from her mother's embrace and tells her she's going to get some of those jelly that her mom likes. She leaves with deliberate steps. She doesn't even spare me a glance. I stood up abruptly to follow her but found her mother's hand on my wrist.

"Let her be alone for a bit, Seung hyun."

And I really didn't want to... but I sat back down helplessly.

"Seung hyun, I am sorry for burdening you." I look up to her and she looks a lot like Dara which made me feel horrible. I took both of her hands in mine and kissed her knuckles.

"Please... Auntie, Please stop saying I'm sorry. I just... I feel like so ing useless when you do."

"Aigo. This child," she chuckles. "You looked so cute crying. Now you curse in front of your girl's mother."

My eyes widen and I looked at her horrified. She was smiling. She looks so much like Dara. Smiles suites them really well. "I'm sorry. I... I have a foul mouth. Sorry."

She laughs, I knew she was making fun of me. It doesn't matter. If she asked me to dance, I probably will.  "Seung hyun," she calls out somberly, and I'm not very smart but I knew what was coming. A favour. "Seung hyun, today they will be taking her siblings. Sandara might want to say good bye."

I look up to her, "What about you?"

I single tear roll down her cheek, she brushes it away with delicate looking hands, thin, pale and veiny, "Unfortunately Seung hyun, I can no longer stand." She smiles defeatedly, her lips chalked, cracked to the point of bleeding.

"I'll carry you."

Her eyes soften, "Ah, what kind of a treasure Dara has found." She reaches out and my hair, "You could carry me, but then again, you need your hands free to protect her."

I narrow my eyes in confusion, "I don't understand."

"Well, Seung hyun... it's that man..."

---

Sandara took a long time before she came back. Long enough, for me to know about her father. That man. That man who didn't think of her as his own child. The alcoholic bastard who married her mother out of selfish possessiveness and hated their first-born because he had thought Dara was a product of infidelity. So that man hated Dara and her mother was crying when she admitted to me that he had physically hurt Dara more than on one occassion. That was partially why Dara had worn long-sleeved clothes... to hide bruises, until her body had grown accustomed to the warmth, that was partially why she was always cold. I had balled my fist until my knuckles went white and my vision cloud red. I can't imagine, didn't want to think how he'd hurt. My chest began to fog in anger. I run my palm down my face.

"I'm sorry, Seung hyun. But you need to find her a place to stay..." I look at her incredulous. "Chaerin... Chae is her friend at work... Could you...?"

"No." I stop her. "No, I mean. Auntie, this is ridiculous. Sandara is staying with me."

Her mother's mouth hanged open, "S-seung hyun! What... what are you asking?"

I look at my white knuckles. I wasn't really asking... My fist loosens, "Um. Auntie, do you... would you mind... I mean... Sandara... she should live with me."

I hear a clatter of plate and saw Dara just by the foot of her mother's bed. The jelly laid in a squished demise under its container by her feet. I look up to her face, I couldn't figure out much from her facial expression except that she was shocked.

---

We left the hospital. We were walking to her house. I kind of decided that if anyone decided to mess with me today, I will kill them. See, Jiyong, the world is not as complicated as all that. I crouched and picked up a stray wooden beam down an shady looking alley, weighed the heft of it, balancing it in my palm. Hmmm... this is good enough.

"Seung hyun!" She calls out. I fight this surge of feeling. I bow my head. I can't possibly like my name this much. "Seung hyun! What are you doing? And... and.. what you said to