Chapter 38

Jaejoong put down the empty bottle, clasped the railing with both hands & closed his eyes.

He couldn’t change what had happened. What he ought to do was pack his things, get into the car & drive straight to the airport. He had to leave Seoul as soon as possible & Tiffany.

He had left another message on her cell phone but she had never called him back. On the other hand, he got eight messages from Sunny & three messages from his mother.

He opened his eyes & looked blindly into the night.

It was tempting. Sunny was beautiful. She was gorgeous. She fitted his life perfectly, without making a ripple but she wasn’t Tiffany.

His eyes glittered with tears every time he called her name.

Sunny smelled of expensive perfume. He smiled with teary-eyed. Sunny’s hair was always perfect as if she had just come out from the salon. Tiffany’s generally looked natural as if she only brushed the silky hair free of tangles & then given up but he loved it.

Sunny was elegant. Tiffany was...He let out a laugh. She was exciting. She was unique. He couldn’t find a suitable word to describe her. Everything about her stirred him. Her laugh, smile, scent, her boyish-looking within her rough jeans & shirts & they all made him crazy.

Jaejoong laughed softly & drank the rest of the tequila.

He was dreaming about her again. For a woman he couldn’t have. She was his first cousin. She was a Kim like him & she would be a nun, “Oh, god.” He muttered, the words silently & wiped his tears away.

He took another sip.

The phone rang again. He looked at the number on the screen. It’s not Tiffany but his mother again. She had been calling him since this afternoon. He closed his eyes.

‘You are going to destroy yourself, Jaejoong.’ The voice of his mother echoed in his mind when they were involved in a fight on the day he came back from Singapore, “You have to wake up & come back to your life.” He groaned.

“Jaejoong Oppa?”

The voice was soft & familiar. Jaejoong told himself it was a hallucination from the alcohol but when he turned, she was really there, standing in the doorway, the soft glow from the living room just behind her define her face in a play of light & shadow.

“Oppa.” Tiffany said again in a soft voice. Her voice was husky as she saw the look of him but he didn’t answer. He just stood there, drinking in the sight of her. She was wearing a pair of jamie sadock sandra 28.5” pedal pusher gypsy jet black pants & splendid indigo dye tank shirt. Her hair hung loose over her shoulders. She looked like an innocent little girl & incredibly beautiful & even though he knew it was wrong, he hated her for coming to see him & reminding him of how deeply he loved her & for reminding him that he could never have her as his love.

“How did you get in?”

“You didn’t lock the door. I was knocking several times & you didn’t answer. Oppa? What are you doing with the suitcases? Are you going away?”

He smiled bitterly, “You came here to say goodbye, didn’t you?”

“No. I mean, of course not.”

He raised his eyebrows & laughed sarcastically, “What do you want?”

He took a mouthful of tequila.

Tiffany took in a deep breath. She walked closer to him & took his glass from his hand, “I don’t want to see you destroyed your life.”

“To hell with my life!”

“Your mother is looking for you.”

He didn’t answer back, pouting his face.

“Oppa, your mother is looking for you.”

“How did you find me? Did you come here only to tell me this? I know. She has left three messages for me since last night.”

“Five.”

Jaejoong jerked his head, “So, you came here to tell me her last message?”

“Not only that.”

Taking in a deep breath, he turned his eyes on her, “Tiffany, please don’t torture me anymore. Leave me alone.” Ignoring his words, Tiffany smiled beautifully. Her eyes were filled with tears but they were shining brightly. She drew back & looked into his eyes. She swallowed, her mind seized up. She couldn’t think of anything bright to say to cheer him up. He was really depressed.

“I came here for you.” Her voice broke. She reached out her hand to touch his face but he stopped it.

“Don’t. Please don’t.” The anguished plea in his voice, in his eyes, tore at her heart.

Slowly, Tiffany took his hand.

“You look like you are dead.” She informed him.

One hostile eye opened a fraction, “Go away, Tiffany. Don’t give a damn care about me!”

Tiffany’s tension increased by the minute as she looked at the empty bottles on the table, “Oppa, you look awful. Stop drinking.”

“No. Leave me alone.” His eyes, narrowed to malevolent slits, glared from a haggard, ashen face.

She stared at him warily, “Why are you doing this? It’s not you, Oppa.” She took the glass of tequila from his hand & put it on the table behind her.

He shook his head, gasped in agony at the movement & turned his head to face her without a word. He looked anguished, “I’m angry with god. Why did he have to set me up as your cousin? Your first cousin? I could have been with you right now if he didn’t…”

“Please don’t ever complain or blame god. You have to remember that.”

Jaejoong didn’t want to look back.

“God has granted your wish, our wish, Oppa.”

“Forget it. It doesn’t apply to us.”

Tiffany raised her head quickly, running a hand through her hair, “Oppa. Listen to me. I don’t want to lie to you.”

“What do you mean?”

Taking in a deep breath, Tiffany smiled at him beautifully, “We aren’t cousin. Your mom told me just now.” He suddenly laughed, “Ha. Don’t try to cheer me up with that cruel lie.”

“It’s true. I swear to god.” She raised her hand up to the sky. Her expression was serious.

‘Is it true?’ Jaejoong wondered, ‘Her eyes swore it is so.’ His mind told him, ‘& Tiffany would never dare lie in front of her god as she is his faithful follower.’ He told himself.

“I wouldn’t have let anything get in the way of what we have together, Oppa.”

His eyebrows shot up to his hair, “You are imagining things. I refuses to think about it.”

“It’s true, Oppa. When have I ever lie to you?”

The air between them was suddenly filled with hopes, dreams & love. Jaejoong’s heart swelled with hope & the love they had once shared shimmered through it. He wanted to hug & kiss her in the joy of being together again.

His eyes locked with hers, “Is it true?!” He whispered, demanding for an honest answer.

She let out a nervous little laugh, her lashes sweeping down as a wave of self-consciousness increased her inner turmoil. Her eyes glittered.

He expelled a long breath & his chest felt as tight as a drum, “Well.” He said, after a minute of shocking news, “This is one miracle I’m never going to forget.”

She laughed between her sobs, “Yes, I supposed so.”

“Fany.”

“Hmmm.”

“Tell me, what did my mom tell you?”

“About what?” She showed him an innocent look. She managed to hide her smile.

“It isn’t funny.” He said stiffly, & then he laughed, too.

Then he looked at her. Her cheeks had taken on a delicate flush & there was a glint in her dark beautiful eyes that hadn’t been there when he saw her at the car park.

“I will tell you but not now. I want you to know that we aren’t cousins. That’s it for tonight.” She paused, letting out a deep sigh in relief as a heavy burden in her heart was gone, “I will make you some coffee since you were drinking a lot.”

She moved to the kitchen but Jaejoong’s hand stopped her. She stopped walk