Chapter 30

What had he done wrong?

The question plagued Jaejoong as he closed the guest room door gently. Normally, he should have had a romantic dinner with Tiffany tonight as he planned on the plane. He had prepared a big surprises for her & Tiffany would be keenly going with him & enjoying their night as lovers but who knew things would turned around in a flash.

‘Why Tiffany? Why do we have to end up like this? I don’t want our love to be gone like this. I really love you. I can’t accept the fact that we are cousin. Oh god, what should I do? I can’t live without her. She’s my life.’ Jaejoong thought determinedly as he punched his desk.

He drew in a shuddering breath, “I'm not giving up, Tiffany, I'm not giving you up.”

He couldn’t find any enthusiasm tonight. Nothing was working for his troubled mind. Only one word echoed in his mind continuously, ‘Tiffany is my first cousin.’

His heart pounded painfully. Maybe one day he would accept the fact & treat her as his cousin. He kept telling himself that he just needed time to forget her. Could he be able to forget her after what had happened between them in France?

He hoped he wasn’t fooling himself. As Tiffany said, he was crazy if he insisted to run away together, “But how can I live?” He asked himself desperately.

“Jaejoong, may I come in?”

Jaejoong turned his head & found his mother standing at his doorway.

“Sure.” He said, clearing his throat, “What is it, mom?”

Mrs. Kim walked through the door & sat down on the side of his bed, “It’s not important. Your father asked me to ask you whether you can accept Tiffany in our house.”

For a while, he didn’t speak nor look up.

“I hope you will welcome her warmly into our family, not like Seo. I know it’s hard for both of you to accept a new member of a family, especially when...when.”

Jaejoong turned his head to meet his mother’s eyes. He was waiting for her to finish her sentence.

“When both of you thought that she’s your father’s mistress.”

He shrugged, “I will let you handle this.”

“Tiffany is alone.” Mrs. Kim pointed out, “Even though your father has bought her a house I think it’s not good if a girl lives alone. Also, your father has sworn to treat her as his own daughter in front of your uncle grave. I think it’s a good idea if she moves here. What do you think, Jae?”

He frowned, wishing that he could think straight. He didn’t say anything for a while. His mind was racing. He didn’t want to destroy Tiffany’s future as a new member of his family but he couldn’t go on like this. They would be living together in the same house. It meant that he would see her everyday, not as his love but as his sister.

‘Sister.’ He muttered, under his breath. How it was a horrible words to believe.

He glanced helplessly over at his mother. She was there, staring at him, waiting for his answer, “I can’t decide anything, mom. I will agree with whatever your decision is.”

“Thank you.” Mrs. Kim got up from Jaejoong’s bed, “I won’t disturb you anymore. Oh, by the way, how is your conference in France?”

“Oh, it’s fine as usual.” He answered shortly, trembling. He hated that his voice was hoarse & whispery. Mrs. Kim frowned. Jaejoong was usually excited, telling her about his achievement in his career. She noticed that he was acting weird since he came back with Tiffany this afternoon.

“Jaejoong, are you okay?”

His eyes suddenly felt hot. Turning his head to the window, he said, “Mom, there is something that I want to ask you but I’m afraid it will make you upset.”

“Tell me.” Mrs. Kim said quickly. Her voice sounded a bit worried.

“Is there any chance that I...I...I’m not?”

He glanced up & caught his mother watching him in fear, “I’m not your son?”

Mrs. Kim’s eyes widened. She frowned & seemed to genuinely be perplexed by the question.

“Why do you ask me that horrible question, Jaejoong?”

He lowered his head. It was incredibly hard to get it all out, so risky & difficult not to sound hurt but he had become too emotional to find better words. His mind was muddled. What he had been thinking was only to find a miracle to have Tiffany back in his arms.

“Of course you are my son. Look.” Mrs. Kim pointed her index finger to the mirror on the wall behind her, “You inherited my eyes, lips & smile. How could you say that you are not my son? Are you saying that you don't want to be my son? It’s cruel, Jae.” Her voice started to tremble.

“Mom, please don’t be upset. I’m sorry.” He looked down at the floor, struggling to keep the pressure behind his eyes from doing more than blurring the white color of granite floor. He