"Hey Mark, I know you probably don't want to talk to me right now that's why you're avoiding my calls. I've thought about it and maybe I was too much in doubt about us. I'm sorry that I didn't show my appreciation. Please, call me back soon."

I left him a voicemail. After that day at the park, we left home separately and since then, we haven't spoken. Our text messages were dry and empty. I blame myself for not giving much credit to Mark. Now, we completely don't talk. No calls, no messages. I was beginning to think it was probably over though we barely started. Me requesting work off too didn't help. That reduced my time of seeing him. I asked for vacation since I haven't used any of my open hours. One week away from Mark was going to be hard, but at least I'll have time to know myself better.

"Sweetheart." My mother's knock on my door drew me out of my trance.

"Yes, ma?"

"Someone's here to see you."

At that notice, my heart skipped. I only thought of one person and I was more than positive it was going to be the one and only person I've been craving to hear from and see.

I paced to the living room to see a sitting figure on the sofa. My breathe hitched. It didn't turn out to be who I wanted. My heart rate slowed down and my breathing was shallow. I felt like blanking out.

"J-Jackson?" I whispered to myself as I stayed hidden behind the hallway wall.

"Go out and greet him, darling." My mother whispered as she tapped my shoulder.

I gave her a hesitant nod.

I was afraid that if I made myself visible to him, I'll have to bare the sight of his clenched jaw and straightened face. The past will only start rolling in our minds like a film. Were we going to be able to handle the flashbacks? 

Seeing him in my living room reminded me that I have given love a try before. I completely forgot that Jackson and I were something years ago. I've come to a point that I no longer claimed him as an experience, but I don't know anymore. If I admit that Jackson and I were something before, that'd make me a liar for telling Mark and believing myself that I've no attachment whatsoever with a relationship in my life. I had to face it now.

"Hey. Jackson." I slowly walked to him with a smile that I wasn't to sure if it was pleasant.

He stood up at my voice. "May, hi." His hands couldn't stay still. They were constantly running against the sides of his black fitted jeans as though he was just as nervous.

I motioned for him to sit back down. "It's been awhile. How are you?"

"Busy with fencing, but I've been well. How about yourself?"

His voice was still the raspy, mid-range deep sound I use to always want to hear. 

"I'm okay, probably not as well as you, but I'm breathing just fine." I threw in a slight chuckle.

He then returned the mirror of a smile. They way his lips made room for his teeth to reveal them was still so electrifying. It was heart-triggering and warming.

"So, what are you doing here in Seoul? I thought you were going to be in Hong Kong forever?"

"I'm here for fencing. The team and I are traveling for competitions and tournaments."

So, he was still into fencing. It's always going to be a part of him. Fencing and Jackson were inseparable. I recall going to his practices and competitions like a supportive.....girlfriend. Thinking back on them makes me feel a certain unexplainable and indescribable emotion.

"How'd you find out where I live?" 

"I asked your aunt. She was hard to convince, but obviously I got it."

I completely forgot about my aunt. She lives in Hong Kong, Jackson's hometown. It was through her that I met him about 4 years ago. Because my parents were constantly working and trying to save money for stability, I was sent to stay with my aunt for 2 years. After some time away, I decided to return back and help out my parents. During the duration that I was in Hong Kong, sparks ignited between Jackson and I and we gave a shot at a relationship. Sadly, we lasted only a year until I decided it was going to be too difficult once I move back to Korea as he also pursues fencing.

"I'm glad you thought about visiting. You're always welcome if ever you come again." I tried to make him feel at ease and comfortable.

"Thanks." He cleared his throat. "You know, May. I thought it was going to be much harder than this."

"What do you mean?"

"Us....talking like normal again...."

"Oh....well I mean, it's been a while so I think that gave us a bit of time..." Truth was, it wasn't completely normal yet. It didn't feel smooth. We often hesitated and allowed pauses in between.

My mother came by and settled two cups of raspberry ice tea in front of us and left back to the kitchen. Jackson mumbled his gratitude.

"I always think of you whenever I see, think, or drink raspberry ice tea. It's always been your favorite." 

"Don't ever forget. It's better than plain water and disgusting sugared drinks." I joked.

He still remembered. Why is he making me feel the things I use to feel for him? My heart was beating in my ears sending the boom straight to my brain. I felt like the room was twirling.

"So, have you....met anyone?" His question was not one to be sugar-coated. That wasn't the type of person Jackson was. If he was determined to know anything, he's straightforward about it.

"Um...kind of, but it's complicated." I didn't even know my own answer. I then remember Mark and everything that has been going on between us.

Jackson let out a cackle of light laughter. "Much more complicated than it was for us?"

I can't believe he just went there. He brought up our past. It was obvious that the second we met eyes in the room, the past was the first thing on our mind but we acted like it was never there.

"It's different in its own way, Wang."

His surname passed through my lips and a jolt of electricity ran through my system. I just called him what I use to call him, kind of like a pet name when we were together.

"Wang? I haven't heard that from you for a long time." He spoke my thought.

I shook away him comment. "How about you? Anyone?"

"No, I've been too busy for girls. You were the last."

Goodness, Jackson just keeps throwing curves at me with his directness. Was it to make me feel guilty for initiating our end? 

"Why do you make it sound so casual?"

"Well, this is a casual talk, isn't it?" He rebutted.

"Not when you talk about such personal things like that." I complained.

"Does it hurt you that I bring it up? It shouldn't hurt you at all. It should hurt me more." 

There was an ache in his voice. Our conversation was elevating to something too personal and confidential. It was too much to go there. It'll only stir up our unspoken words and we may even argue until no one wins.

"Jackson, it's nice to see you and finally speak. It's been ages, but I don't want us to talk like this."

There was a pause.

"I haven't been able to move on, May."

I swallowed at his confession. What did I get myself into? I gave myself a moment to shut my eyes and then opened them just to look at Jackson.

"Like you said, you've been too busy for girls. I'm currently...working on myself and with someone else. I can't hear you out on this."

Just as he was about to speak up, a knock at the door was heard. I sighed at the interruption and walked to open the door. I swung it open wide enough for the unexpected guest to see Jackson sitting on the couch.

"M-Mark..." I trembled.

"Hey, can we talk—" I saw his eyes zoom to where Jackson was. "Never mind, I'll just catch you later—"

"No, I have time." I was desperate to talk to Mark. I didn't want to miss him again. I turned back to Jackson, "Give me a moment please." Jackson darted his eyes at Mark then back at me and sighed his approval.

I closed the door and stepped outside with Mark. I didn't want the two man to be in the same building. That'll be plain awkward.

"So, you got my message?" I asked.

"Yeah, but it seems you also ignored my calls for him, right?" Mark had an attitude.

I slipped my hand into my phone and say 3 missed calls from Mark. I had turned it on silent because I thought it would be rude if it rang in the middle of catch-up with Jackson.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. And don't drag him into this."

"Why? Just because I needed space to think, you decide to move on already? Couldn't you respect that?!" He was so bitter with his words, all because he assumed too quickly.

"No, Mark. It's not even like that. Can you at least let me say my part?!"

"What? That he's an old friend? That he's more like a brother? Don't give me those excuses!"

"Damn it, Mark! Are you here to talk or argue?!"

"You know what..." He breathed. "I came to work things out, but it seems you rather move on, so take this as confirmation. We are done. Stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours."

"M-Mark..." 

I was so shocked at how sudden it all went down. He just went with what he thought and said. There was no room for me to say anything or correct him. I felt my head turning as Mark walked away back to his car. I couldn't cry because I could barely process what just happened. I was hurt, sad, angry, confused. A mix of emotion ran through me. I stood for awhile outside to collect myself and then walked back in weakly.

"Is everything good?" Jackson asked carefully. He knew me well enough to tell that I wasn't, but I know he was only being caring.

"Of course not." My eyes were beginning to water.

"Come here." He stood up and opened his arms to me. I leaned in and gave him my space.

I sobbed into his warm, welcoming and familiar chest. His cologne sent a swirl of butterflies in my stomach, but I didn't try to focus on that since Mark just officially called quits on us in such a heartless way. At this moment, it felt right. 

"He's the guy, right?" Jackson whispered soothingly.

"Mhmm." I mumbled.

Author's Note: Sorry for the long, overdue update! I've been focusing on my other stories and as well as college. It's been super busy so forgive me! I hope you all are doing well! :)