“He said he wanted to cut down Exo members.He wanted to disband Super Junior. He wanted to make a new band by combining SNSD and F(x). Same goes to Shinee and TVXQ.”

“What about the others?”

“He would change the actors. No, it’s not change. He will kick out the actors, the bands and the staffs.”

“He’s so ing out of his mind,”

“And he let us to finish up our comebacks, since this is our last.”

Silence.

“And guys, whoever did stay, keep going because he couldn’t see us as one, but he sees us as twelve, as a burden to him.”

Silence.

“Okay then. After our Christmas comeback is over, we could rest for entire month. He gives us approvals and we could rest until the year 2014!”

“Suho hyung, there’s tears in your eyes. Why did you smile?” Tao asked as he breaks the silence between the eleven in the living room. Lay still in the hospital, as his condition becoming worse day by day. Kris turned to Suho when that gently kind guy swept his tears away using his hand.

“I just wanna remind you guys that Lay will not joining us for the promotion of our last comeback.” Kris stated after few seconds the living room turned to be a graveyard once again.

“Stop saying the word ‘last’ will you!” Kai barked. He doesn’t know why he did barked to Duizhang Kris, who the leader that he respects the most because his leadership. Kai got up from his sit, besides Kyungsoo and slammed the door.

“I never thought that this would be our last,” Xiumin, the oldest commented after being silent for a long time.

“I don’t want to face all of this,” Tao burst into tears on the couch while hugging his knee together. Suho jumped to him, hugged him as he doesn’t want to let him go. Kris couldn’t stand all of this so he decided to enter his room.

In his room, he took out his phone and dialed a number. He waited for while until the person picked up his call.

“Hey.” He greeted. He holds his tears and controlled his voice as much as he could just to speak with the person that he missed the most.

‘Son, everything’s fine?’

Kris decided to stay quiet. He just wanted to hear his mum’s voice, to cure up the yearnings that he carried for past few months.

‘Don’t cry Yifan.’ She said with a soft, grace voice. As Kris heard that words from his mother, he cried. He doesn’t care his face ruined because of his tears.

‘I don’t know what’s happen there, but just don’t cry. You’re a big boy now.’

All of the memories when he was a trainee and how he met Exo members kept flashing in his mind.

How he thought Luhan was a girl when they first met.

How he had to protect Lay from being hurts by the fans at the airport.

How he had headache with Suho just to handle those ten dorky boys.

How people judge his looked and assume him does many plastic surgeries.

How Tao would ask him to accompany him to take bath every day.

How he ate many things that he doesn’t like for the first time with s.

‘Son, whatever you do, whatever you decide, and I have faith in you. Do it. I’ll bless you and your friends on every single thing.’

‘And son, you know what’s the saddest sound in the world?’

“Hmmm?” Kris responded, at last.

‘To me, the saddest sound in the world is a sound of a person crying silently.’

Kris put his phone on the floor. He lied besides it while crying; just to let his mother heard his crying.

‘Let it out. I’m here, let everything out son.’

****

Luhan knew today would be the first snow in Korea. Lay was besides him, lying weakly on his bed. He had a transfusion this morning and several checkups that make him mentally and physically tired. Luhan came here straight away from the meeting at home. He knew Lay would be lonely here and he also was too depressed. So he needs Lay and he hoped Lay also needs him.

“Monroe,” Lay called. Luhan responded to it but he couldn’t hear what Lay say so he puts his ear near Lay’s dried mouth.

“Is snow falls today?” he said again. Luhan looked at him straight into his eyes. “Why?”

While struggling to say every words, Lay opened up his dried mouth, “I wanna go home.”

Luhan holds his hand tightly, “You miss Changsa?” Lay nodded, weakly.

“We’ll go back soon. I promise you.”

“Is everything’s fine?” Lay asked and that question makes Luhan wanted to cry out loud.

“Nothing’s happened, tho.”

“But I see tears in your eyes.”

“Is your chest hurt again?” Luhan tried to change the topic but Lay was too stubborn to know why Luhan was that depressed.

“What’s wrong with me?” Lay’s voice was becoming weaker and weaker. Somehow Luhan couldn’t hear what’s his talking about.

“You talked too much Kiddo. Just sleep. I’ll be here tonight.” Luhan covered up Lay with the comforter. Lay refused, but Luhan was much stronger than him now. Lay willingly being covered by him but his eyes were still on him.

Luhan saw the looked Lay gave him. He sighed, “I’ll tell you once we know your result tomorrow.”

“Promise?” He stated by only moving his lips.

Luhan nodded. He sang one of the song that Lay loved the most, Afraid.

I suddenly feel a little scared

About love and everything in life

You thought I know how to separate

The differences in our thoughts.