Donghae

December 12

It's been nearly 2 months since I last talked to Miyoung. Sure, we sat next to each other in class, but, I refused to talk to her because Wooyoung's words echoed through my head. If I talk to her, then... I'll fall deeper in love with her than I already am and if that's the case, then, I wouldn't hold back on stealing her away from Wooyoung. Her happiness is what matters. That's all that matters...

I honestly don't know whether he's made a move on her or not. I'm trying not to care about it.. But to tell you the truth, I'll be heart broken if he's already made his move on her. Knowing her, she'd accept him in a heart beat. 

-----------------

I sat in our English class, with Miyoung sitting in front of me and Wooyoung to my right. My eyes kept peeking at the two as she'd constantly look back and smile at him. Aish. Why--why do I have to see this?

"Tiffany," The teacher suddenly called out, "Would you mind reading the words written in your textbook?"

"Uhh--," She whimpered, "Oh-okay." Before reading, she looked back once more at Wooyoung and he gave her a quick smile. "In this context, Adam is going to the park with his friends--"

Her voice is so cute when she speaks English. Oh, that's right. Wooyoung can also kind of speak English. Ssorta. Well, I can speak English! ... Only basic English... He only can speak basic English too! Ahh, who am I kidding? I have such a thick Korean accent when I try to speak it. If I try to speak English to Miyoung, she'd probably laugh at me... Or .. She might think it's cute... Omo ~o~ What the hell am I talking about ?

While she was reading, from the corner of my eye, I noticed that Wooyoung was writing something on a piece of paper. He then began to fold it until it shaped as a little square box. I wasn't surprised when he reached over and placed it on top her desk. It's not like I didn't see that coming... It just... Hurts me a little. When she got through reading it, I knew that she was happy when she saw that little note on her desk. Even though I couldn't see her face, I just knew that she'd give her cute eye smile and her cheeks were blushing like the color of pink blossoms. Damnit. 

I could tell she was replying to his note by the way her arms moved from where I sat.. It took quite a while until she finished responding back...  Is it a love note? She began to pass it back to him and as he began to open it up and read it, a smile arose onto his face. For the next 5-10 minutes, they passed the note ~ back & forth and back & forth. Aish, it got me more and more curious. What the heck's inside of that note?

After a while, I noticed that the teacher glanced over at the two as they'd pass their love note to each other. And finally, the teacher got tired of it... Just like how I did. 

"Tiffany," Mrs. Jung suddenly spoke, "Wooyoung."

"Uhh--yes?" They both responded.

"Would you mind telling me what you two are discussing inside your little note?" The class all murmered and some even shrieked with an, "Note? Aww~~~~~~!"

"It's nothing," Wooyoung politely said.

"Nothing? Well it seems like its really important." She laughed, "You two have been passing that note around for over 15 minutes."

"It's really nothing," He roughly replied.

"Maybe it's a love note!~~~ <33" A student shrieked.

"A love note?" She laughed, "Let's see." She stood up from her seat and snatched the note away from Miyoung's hands. She began to unfold the note and read it softly to herself. Wooyoung, with his knees rapidly shaking, tightly held his hands together. Miyoung on the other hand, just stood frozen. 

"Dear Tiffany, don't ask why I'm referring to you as 'Tiffany,' I just have a strange feeling that someone else might read this--," She paused from reading the note aloud to the class and began to laugh uncontrollably, "So, you guys already have 'code names' for each other?"

I nervously glanced over at Wooyoung as he'd look down at his desk with his knees still shaking.

The class exchanged a few laughs before she continued reading the paper, "Im a bit nervous to say this... But over the break, do you want to... Go out?"

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!" The class shrieked.

"Tiffany's response was," Mrs. Jung began, "Of course, oppa! I'd really like that. Hey, speaking of going out... A good friend of mine encouraged me to do this. At first, I wasn't going to. But he's my best friend and I won't let him down. So here it goes.  Although, it doesn't seem like it... I've liked you for quite a while now. I'm a really awkward person when it comes to love. This may sound TOO striaght forward but... Do you want to go out?"

My heart suddenly bulged.

"Hey, guess what? I like you too, Wooyoung wrote, but it's not suppose to be like this."

"Aigoo... I knew I shouldn't have confessed."

"No, I mean I do want to go out with you but ... Isn't it suppose to be the other way around? I'm suppose to ask you out."

"Oh... Well... say it then, she said back."

Damnit.

"Will you go out with me?"

"No."

What--?

"What do you mean..?"

"Ask me... On a special day."

"A special day?"

"Ask me... On the day it snows." 

"..The day it snows? Why?"

"I really don't know. Something deep down in my heart holds great importance for the snow."

"Well... if you say so. I'll ask you out on the day it snows."

At this point, I felt like running out of the room. So he finally made his move...

I closed my eyes and tried my best to ignore every word that came out of the teachers mouth as she read the paper. To be honest, when my eyes were closed... I was actually crying to myself. 

My eyes popped open when the students roared with an "AWWWW!" I looked over at the teacher; she was still speaking. She was reading the words Wooyoung had written on the paper.

"You have no idea how much of a fool I am for not speaking up for myself and following my heart. I was always doubting myself and questioning whether I should confess my feelings towards you and how I feel about us... I'm still a little bit shaken up by the situation we're in. I'm really worried. I'm worried that something bad might happen and that you'd leave me for a certain person. I know the day will come when you'll realize what I'm talking about but hopefully, that day won't arrive until later. I just want to enjoy having you by my side while it lasts. Do you really know why I'm worried though? It's because a certain person is stopping me. Donghae--"

My eyes widely opened. Wooyoung glanced at me and back down at his desk. The class sounded with an 'OHHHHHHH!'

"--Donghae is always in the way. Sometimes... I feel.. As if you like him."

"Hahahaha, really?"

She's laughing... Am I a joke to her?

"Yeah."

"No. I don't like Donghae that way... He's just my friend and I'll always see him as that. He's my best friend."

"Are you sure?"

"I promise. Besides, I like you--"

At that moment, I stood up from my seat and pounded hardly on my desk. All eyes were on me. The teacher paused from her reading. Everyone paused from what they were doing. Wooyoung looked at me with a shocked expression. Miyoung looked back at me from where she sat with scared eyes.

Miyoung...

I ran out of the classroom and into the hallway with no idea of where I was even going. I just knew that I had to get out of that room. If I stayed there any longer, I probably would've snapped.

I found myself marching up to the rooftop of our school. My eyes paced at the sky. "Damnit," I mumbled, "Damnit!" I looked up at the sun with my hands to cover it from having contact with my eyes. "Why should I even care?" I grumbled. I paced back and forth. Just thinking. Thinking of how humiliating I felt when Mrs. Jung was reading the paper... The way how Miyoung looked at me when I slammed my palm against the desk... Her eyes... It was like she was scared of me. I wonder what she was thinking just then. . .

I finally came to a realization that ... Maybe... Maybe I gave it away. She might know that I like her now that I marched out of the room. 

How humiliating.

"DAMNIT!" I yelled out, "AISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I kicked the trashcan that layed besides me and flopped my onto the dirty concrete floor.

I knocked out not long after.

--------------

"Yah... Wake up."

I slowly woke up to a female blurry figure sitting beside me.

"What happened back there?" She mumbled.

Who is this-- Mi-- Miyoung?!

"What--what the hell are you doing up here??!" I widely opened my eyes when I realized that the girl was Miyoung.

"Why are you up here?"

"I--I just feel like being up here," I gumbled, "Why are you here??"

"No reason." She paused, "I was just worried about you."
"R--Really?!!"

"Yeah.. Besides, you're my best friend, idiot," She slapped me in the back of my head, "You're my best friend who hasn't been talking to me lately... Aigoo!~~~"

"Yah--Yah, sorry... Uhm, at--at least you took my advice to go for it and tell him your feelings."

"Yeah," She giggled, "Thanks!!!!" Her arms suddenly wrapped around my torso... I stood still, with a shocked expression.

"Yah! Get off." 

She quickly let go of me and whined, "I'm sorry!!~~~"

Don't be. I only said that... Because you already have a boyfriend.

"Hey, why are you so .. Strange?"

"Strange?"

"Yeah. I mean... What kind of girl asks a guy out??!"

"Omo ... I'm sorry~~~~ You didn't tell me I wasn't suppose to ask him out!"

"Do I really need to?" I laughed, "I mean, it's common sense, idiot." 

"Donghae--" Donghae? Since when did she ever call me by my name?...The last time she called me by my name was before she had her car accident. . . "Can you believe Wooyoung?"

"What do you mean .. ?"

"--When he actually thought that I liked you?"

"Oh," I fake smiled, "Haha.. Yeah.. He's... Funny."

"I was really surprised when he wrote that," She giggled, "You're just a big brother to me. I don't think I could like you anymore than that~"

"Yeah..."

"Oh, well... The lunch bell is going to ring in a couple of seconds~ ^^ . I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah, I'll see you later."

She kneeled down to me and punched my arm, "And stop avoiding me~~~ You better talk to me over the break. Okay?"

"Ouch... Haha, okay. See ya--" Not even giving me time to reply back, she skipped off and left me there... Heart broken.

----------------------------

December 24th - Winter Break

For the last couple of days, I stayed in my bedroom. Doing absolute nothing. I layed on my bed. With my phone in my right hand, having the hardest time to press the 'send' button. I've been like this for a while. The message hasn't changed. It was the same message I started off with a couple of days ago. When will I ever send it to her?

Well, tomorrow's Christmas. It's going to be like any other day. There's no Christmas presents under my tree.. In fact, we don't even have a real tree. My parents aren't even here. They abandoned me when I was a freshman and left me here with Channie to raise. What kind of parents do that? .. It's sad. 

All I want for Christmas... Is for her to realize that I'm the one she loves. Not him.

-----------------

"Yah, Channie," I called out from my room, "What do you want to do tomorrow?"

"Hyung," He walked into the room with a gloomy attitude, "I'm not going to be here tomorrow."

"What--what?! Where are you going?"

"Dad's going to take me out with mom."

"She's not our mom."

"Step-mom..."

"Why only you though?..."

"He doesn't want anything to do with you..."

"Aish, yeah. I thought so." I grumbled, "Okay. That's all I wanted to ask you... Now... Get out of my room."

"Oh before I go," He paused, "I have something to tell you."

"What.. ?"

"If you're not doing anything tonight, you might as well buy something for a special person. . ."

"Like who?"

"Like Miyoung."

"Why would I get her something?"

"She deserves it."

"But--"

"Look, you said you'd always be there for her, right? -- That you only care about her happiness?"

He sounds so.. Mature, all of a sudden.

"Yeah... I guess you're right." I grumbled, "What--what should I get her then?"

"For the past few months, she's been always saying that she wanted a snowflake pendant."

"A snowflake pendant?" I laughed, "When did she ever want this?"

"She's wanted it for a while."

"I never knew--"

"Of course you didn't. Lately, you never hang around with her anymore. So of course you never heard about it."

"Yah!--"

"You're too busy trying to avoid her--"

"Shut up--"

"She kept talking about how she missed you and that the way you kept avoiding her was making her sad. She kept telling everyone that you were one of the main reasons why she loved coming to school--"

"Stop, Channie." She really said all of those things? "I get it. . . Just... Go away. I'll buy her that pendant."

"Yah, you better get the right one."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's not just an ordinary snowflake pendant." He stood at the doorway of my room with his arms crossed, "Inside the pendant, you'll see snowflakes falling. It's almost as if it's falling from the sky." (Imagine a crystal and inside it is the snow from the background of this fanfic -falling.-)

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. Got it."

"Good luck." He marched out of my room and slammed the door.

I was left in the room... Just sitting in no motion.

Miyoung, I'll get you that pendant.

------------------------

Beep...

Beep...

Beep...

"Hello?" She answered.

"Miyoung," I mumbled, "Uhm, what are you doing tonight?"

"Probably nothing--"

"Well when the clock hits 12am on Christmas Day, would you mind meeting me somewhere?"

"12am?"

"Yes," I gently responded, "Please be there... I'm hoping you'll be there."

"Well the thing is ---"

"Do you already have something planned?"

"Yeah--"

"Oh, nevermind then..."

"No~ It's okay! It can wait..."

"You sure?"

"Yes~"

"Good... Well would you mind meeting me in front of the bulgogi shop?"

"Haha, it's funny that you ask," She giggled, "That's where I was going to go anyway because... Uhm, well, anways, yeah. I'll be there!!!"

"You better be."

"I will!"

Don't let me down, Miyoung.

--------

7:42pm

I stood outside of the entrance to the jewelry store near my house, with my arms huddled into my jacket. For the last few hours, I've been searching for her pendant. But so far, I had no luck ... Every store I went to had the same damn necklaces; plain and unappealing. I won't stop until I find her that pendant. I won't stop ..

"Hi, are you here waiting for someone?" An elder man suddenly said.

"Oh, yes" I smiled, "I called earlier to ask about a snowflake pendant--"

"Oh! Yes! We have that!" He opened the door to the store and made me follow him to see the necklace.

"Thank you so much for doing this..." I smiled.

"You're welcome, young man," He laughed, "Let me find it first."

He skimmed through a couple of drawers and paced back and forth in search for it.

Aish... I can't believe this is happening.... I crossed my fingers in hopes that he'd find it.

"Sir, I found!" He exuberently said.

"You--You did?!" A smile appeared on my face.

"Yes!" He laughed, "Is--Is this what you were looking for?" 

He held the pendent in front of my face.

It was just a plain snowflake pendant.

"Oh--uhm," I mumbled, "No... That's not it..."

I looked down at my watch. It was already 8:24pm.

"It's not?" 

"No .."

"Ah.. I'm sorry, young man." He pouted, "How's it suppose to look like?"

"Inside the pendant, snow is suppose to be falling down.." 

"Is that so...?" He said, "I think I might have a friend who sales that."

"Really??" I smiled.

"Yes! Would you want me to call him and ask him if he has it in stock?"

"Yes please, it would be very appreciative if you did." I bowed.

"Okay! Well stay here," He smiled, "I'll be right back."

I waited by the entrance with my hands pressed together and my eyes tightly closed. 

I hope he has it.

"He has it!!" The elder man smiled, still on the phone, "Would you want him to hold it for you?" 

"Yes!" I bowed, "Please do!"

"And what's your name?"

"My name is Lee Donghae," I smiled.

"Okay, great!" He laughed and hung up the phone not long after.

"Here's the address of his store." He handed me a piece of paper. I softly grasped it and I bowed down once more to him.

"You have no idea how grateful I am--"

"You better go now," He giggled.

"Wh--why?"

"Christmas is tomorrow, silly, he won't be there."

"Oh!" I laughed, "That's right! Thank you so much!" I bowed again and exited his store.

Don't worry, Miyoung, I'm coming for you. 

----

When I finally looked at the address to where his friends store was, I nearly had a panic attack. 

It was all the way across town.

...

Damnit, who the heck cares? Even though I absolutely had buses... I'll ride one.

Just for her pendant.

Just for her. 

Miyoung.

----------

When I finally arrived to the destination, I was a bit frightened from my surroundings. I've never traveled to this part of Seoul. 

I never thought I'd ever be able to travel to this side of town. I guess my dad made the right decision of making me go to a public high school... I don't think I'd be this way if it weren't for him sending me there. I wouldn't have me Miyoung or even had to guts to change. 

My body fidgeted, from left to right... Where the hell am I...? 

I began to walk with no intentions of even thinking where I was going. 

I'm lost.

I looked at my watch; 10:37pm.

Damnit, I have less than 2 hours till I have to meet up with Miyoung.

Think, Donghae, think.

I found myself tracing my footsteps back to where I started in the first place. 

Aish... I'm lost...

 

"Hey," A man called out to me from where I stood.

"H--hi..."

"Are you Donghae?"

"Yes--"

"I have your pendant, come inside. It's freezing," He laughed.

I'm an idiot. 

The store was right in front of me all this time.

Aish...

I ran into the store, with a big smile on my face, "Thank you so much!"

"No problem," He smiled, pulling the pendant out from under the counter "Here it is!" 

My eyes widened. Snowflakes were falling inside of the crystal.

It was so pretty.

"Is this it?"

"Yes--yes, it is!" I smile.

"How much would it be, may I ask?"

"It'll be ₩6450 ($430)~"

"Really..?"

Damn, that's expensive.

But I didn't go through all of this trouble just to go home.

This is for her. Not me.

I smiled at the kind sir and pulled out my wallet.

"So do I have a deal?" He smiled, "You're really willing to pay that much?"

"Yes, you have a deal! Of course." I laughed. I handed him the money and he placed the necklace in a cute little pink box& handed it to me. I held it tightly against my chest. 

"If you don't mind me asking, who is it for?"

"It's for the girl I really love..." I mumbled, smiling.

"Wow, you must really love her, huh?"

"Words cannot explain how much I do."

"She's lucky to have you," He laughed.

I smiled for a second without responding to him.

"Thank you so much!" I bowed and ran out of the store and waited around for the bus to pick me up.

11:18pm.

-----------

When I got on the bus, I couldn't help bus smile.

Its been nearly 7 hours that I've been searching for her gift and I've finally found it. 

She's going to love it.

-----------

11:42pm

"Thank you for the bus ride." I bowed and took my time to walk to the bulgogi shore.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed in Miyoung's number.

"Yoboseyo~?"

"Hey , Miyoung!"

"Donghae," She giggled, "I'm here already~~"

"Already??"

"Haha yes! ^_^"

"Aish, you were suppose to be there at 12:00am..." I mocked.

"Aigoo, being early saves time!" 

"Yah, I'll be there in a couple of minutes okay?"

"Okay!" 

When she hung up the phone, I began to walk faster.

Aish, what an idiot... What if something bad happens to her?~ 

Those fast footsteps of mine, soon became even faster when I began to run.

I ran the fastest I could.

Miyoung. I'm coming.

---------

11:54pm

When I finally arrived, I found myself across the street rather than being on the other side of the road. 

She stood a few yards away from me, wearing a pink dress and a thick winter coat on.

I'm nervous.

I stood across the street with her present in my hand. 

Here goes nothing.

I took a step forward... And another one. 

I'm actually doing this.

The more closer I got to her, the more my heart pounded. 

She stood there, looking at her phone.. Waiting.

I could just imagine her reaction when she'd see the present I bought her. 

She'd be so happy.

She'd hug me.

And I'd smile--

Just about when I was going to open my mouth and call out her name....

A certain person came around the corner and crushed my dreams. 

 

Wooyoung...

 

He came up from behind her, covered her eyes, and placed a pendant upon her neck. 

My eyes widened.

The pendant looked familiar.

...

It was the same exact pendant that I bought her.

...

When she noticed the gift he got her, she turned around and gave him a warm hug. Her lips pressed against his cheek and her arms tightly caressed him again afterwards.

I stood frozen, still hugging her present against my chest. 

Slowly, I took a step back and another one... 

The next thing I knew, I was walking back home.

No words could explain how much pain I was in.

 

As if this day could get any worse.

 

I suddenly felt something wet falling down from the sky and onto my skin. It was bitterly cold. 

I lifted my head to see what it was.

It was the snow.

 

I fell to my knees and tears ran down my face. 

 

... 

'Find the missing pieces,' I cried.