The days went by quickly. Yuri and Anna were back in New York while I stayed behind. Yuri said he will try to talk to the production team, but I decided that if they wouldn’t grant me this break, I won’t be coming back to work for them anymore. Of course I couldn’t leave Jesse.

I spent most of my times in the hospital with Jesse. We talked about a lot of things – things that happened to me while I was in New York, and things that happened to him (which were mostly about his stay in the hospital). I also told him about Yuri, but he only smiled. I didn’t know what that smile meant, for he never told me. But if I were to describe it, I’d say it was something between relief and amusement.

I’ve also gotten the chance to finally ask him about his eyes. He was hesitant at first, but eventually gave in. I learned that he donated his cornea to a new found sibling. His father had a child with another woman, but apparently his father left the woman and their child. His sibling was involved in a car accident – a really bad one, and resulted to them losing their vision. Jesse said it was as if fate had brought them together some three months ago when his sibling was rushed to the same hospital we were currently in. He had been searching for that sibling even before we met, and when he learned that his sibling needed a new cornea, he didn’t think twice about it.

Of course he wouldn’t. That’s just how Jesse was. He was such a blessing to the people around him.

Now, as I sit beside Jesse on the hospital bed, peeling an orange fruit, I can’t help but wonder who his sibling was. He didn’t mention a name, or a gender; and although I’ve expressed my curiosity towards the sibling, all I got from Jesse was a smile... and a kiss on the lips.

There was a tug on the hem of my shirt and I turned to look at Jesse with a smile on my face (although he couldn’t see it). “Are you bored with me?” he asked, teeth gently clamping on his lower lip as if he was bracing himself for my answer. I put the fruit back on the side table and scooted closer to Jesse before I pressed my lips against his. “No,” I whispered, my lips still close to his. “Never.”

Jesse’s lips immediately cracked into a small smile and I can’t help but place another chaste kiss on the pair of chapped lips. He was so wonderful.

“When are you going back to New York?”

I took the orange fruit from the side table again before feeding Jesse. “I—“ I started. “I’m not going back to New York... not any time soon.”

His brows furrowed. “Taengoo..” His hand found mine. “Taengoo, you can’t.. you can’t put your dreams on hold because of me.”

I shook my head, squeezing Jesse’s hand. “I’m not putting my dreams on hold, Jess. I’m just.. t-taking a break.”

The frown in Jesse’s lips grew before he sighed. “What’s going to happen to your shows now?”

“Yuri said he’ll try talking to the producers.”

There was silence for a moment.

“I should really start liking Yuri now, huh?”

I laughed, remembering how Jesse was always indifferent towards Yuri in the past. Then I kissed him. Just because.

He smiled before saying, “Taengoo, I want to go outside.”

“Outside?” I looked over the window. It was a good day to be outside. “Do you want to go to the garden?”

Jesse nodded before I helped him up and to his wheelchair.

**

I smiled at the nurses that I’ve became familiar with for the past weeks I spent in the hospital as I pushed Jesse’s wheelchair. I saw Yoona waving at us before disappearing in a corner. I finally met Yoona’s sister, Joohyun, three days after I’ve settled everything with Jesse. She was all smiles when Yoona introduced me to her. She seemed to be in contrast to her sister, but there was something about the both of them that screams ‘sisters’.

Turning to a corner, I smiled when I saw the glass door to the garden. A few moments later, we were out in the garden. I stopped pushing his wheelchair when we were at our usual spot.

“We’re here,” I announced a little chirpier, looking around the garden. It was clean and the grass was newly mowed.

Jesse nodded, his hand travelling to hold mine. I met his hand halfway and intertwined our fingers as I moved to stand beside his wheelchair.

“I’m feeling stronger today, Taengoo.” There was a hint of mischief in Jesse’s voice and I tried so hard to brush off the playfulness in the statement. He sounded so happy, and I felt happy in that moment, too.

“Maybe you’re recovering,” I said as I squeezed his hand.

He hummed, bringing my hand to his lips before kissing the back of it. “I miss seeing your face,” he said. “But it’s okay, I already memorized your face that I could confidently draw you even with my visions gone.”

I laughed. Jesse had always been bad in arts. “Sure you can.”

“I’m not kidding,” he said with a wide grin. “I’ve been practicing.”

I laughed once more, gently pinching his thinning cheek. “Alright, Picasso.”

A comfortable silence settled between us. I stared at Jesse, taking in the nervous expression on his face, wondering if he was feeling something.

“Are you okay?” I said with concern, letting go of his hand to push the wheelchair back inside the hospital.

Jesse raised a hand, stopping me from moving. “Taengoo,” he said. “I have something to tell you.”

My face fell, feeling nervous at the thought of another news. I wasn’t sure I could handle any more news about his health for the moment. I was still accepting the fact that he has cancer.

“Okay?” I reluctantly said before moving to stand in front of him.

He fiddled with the pocket of his pajama pants before stretching his balled hand towards me. I looked at it for a few seconds before he said, “Open it.”

I did as told, and as soon as I uncurled his third finger, my heart raced at the sight of the diamond ring sitting comfortably on his palm. “Jesse..”

He smiled. “I don’t know how long I will be here.” There was sadness in Jesse’s voice. “And I realized that I have been wasting too many chances to do this.”

He took the ring from his palm with his other hand, his palm still open as if waiting for me to put my hand on it. And I did just that.

“I want to be a little selfish this time,” he continued. “Will you let me be selfish, Taengoo? Will you let me marry you even if I might not be able to grow old with you?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Will you marry me, Kim Taeyeon?”

I nodded without having to think about the question. All I know was that I love Jesse and I was willing to marry him. “Yes, yes Jesse, I will.” I moved my hand near the ring. He slipped it on my ring finger with a smile.

“Thank you,” he said.

I bent down, kissing him by the lips. Long and slow. “No,” I said as I slightly pulled away, brushing my lips against his. “Thank you.”

His hands moved to my cheeks as he pressed our lips together once again, drowning me in happiness that only he can give.

Although my future with Jesse isn’t as clear as before anymore, I didn’t care. All that mattered to me – to us – is here and now.

“Are you excited?” he suddenly said, breaking the kiss.

I snorted a laugh, placing one last peck on his lips. “Very.”

“Good, coz I’m ecstatic.”