(One month later)

"If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?" 

I looked up from my homework, shooting Kris an odd look. "Where did that come from so suddenly?" I asked. 

Kris only chuckled, laying his geography book on the table. "Just answer my question, Kai. Live a little! Don't question my randomness." He replied. 

I laid my pen down, folding my arms on the table. Traveling was something I had always wanted to do, but never really thought about. I always figured I'd kick the bucket before I ever got the chance. "I don't know." I said truthfully. 

Kris scoffed leaning across the table. "Oh, come on, throw me a bone, I need to have an idea so I can think about where to take you on our honeymoon." He said seriously. 

"Kris..." I replied softly. It was sweet of him to want to dream, but I didn't want him getting his hopes up. The doctors were telling me to prepare for the worst, and I was doing just that. Which meant that Kris was not allowed to dream of marrying me. 

Kris waved his hand, dismissing my worry. "I know, I know, the chemo might not work. Then again, there's a slim chance it might." 

"Ten percent." I rebutted.

"Okay, a very slim chance it might work, ninety percent says it won't, but I'm optimistic. I hope for the best on everything." 

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair and watching as I pulled out yet another tuft of brown hair. I was beginning to loose chunks of it in certain places, and it was quite frightening realizing that I was going bald at the young age of seventeen, but it was something I would have to deal with.

"I really should just shave my head." I said flicking the stray hairs off in the floor. Kris frowned. 

"No, I like your shaggy hair." He said sadly. I let out a bitter laugh. 

"Well, you can either watch it fall out or go with me to shave it off. Your pick." 

He sat silent a moment before standing to his feet. I had no idea what he was gonna do, but I got a pretty good idea when he walked around the table and leaned down to where his face was level with mine.

His lips tenderly moved against mine, making me feel as if nothing could harm me. Like even though I had this horrible disease, that was slowly killing me day by day, everything was alright.

"So, where would you go?" He asked. 

I pondered the question a moment. I wasn't one for being sappy, but what the hell, c'est la vie, right?

"I would go wherever you are."

~*~

"You ready hon?" The lady asked me. I sighed looking over at Kris, who gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. 

"You can do this." He said, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing over the top of my left hand. It was comforting to have him there, even though he wasn't to keen on the idea of me having my head shaved. It would be a new step on the road down chemo.

"I'm ready." I said, bracing myself for what was to come. In a matter of minutes my long brown hair would be gone, and I didn't know when it would grow back.

I didn't exactly want to do it, but what choice did I have? I couldn't handle watching it fall out piece by piece every day, it was driving me nuts. The doctor told me before I started chemo that I should just cut the bull and shave it, but I had insisted that it would be alright.

Boy, was I wrong.

"Alright, here we go."

I heard the buzzing and closed my eyes, not wanting to watch my hair slowly descend from my head onto the salon floor. 

I could feel the razor being moved all along my scalp, getting every inch of hair that was left atop my head that the chemo hadn't already claimed and made fall out. And with each little piece that fell, I felt my heart go with it. 

I would look so ugly with a bald head. I'd already decided to buy a bunch of beanie hats to wear afterwards. There was only one bright side that I could look forward to that Kris so graciously pointed out.

I would save a hell of a lot of money that was typically wasted on hair product and shampoo.

The down side was, of course, I would be bald. That thought alone scared the out of me. 

"You're almost done." Kris said, giving my hand another squeeze. He reached his hand up and suddenly wiped my face, making me notice that my cheeks were wet. 

I hadn't even realized I was crying.

"It's okay, Kai." He cooed softly, continuing to wipe away the tears. 

I took in a shuddering breath, sniffling as I heard the razor turn off and the lady remove my smock. "There you go sweet pea, I hope you recover fast." She said sweetly patting my shoulder and walking away.

I kept my eyes closed, saying a weak thank you over my shoulder, and I felt Kris place his hands on my shoulder behind me. The tears didn't seem to stop.

"Kai, you have to open your eyes at some point." He said softly. 

I sighed, shaking my head. "I'd rather not face reality." I said sadly, wiping at my damp cheeks. The tears let up a little, but I'm not sure if I was crying because my hair was gone or the fact that this was just another sign I was dying.

Kris' arms slid down my chest, wrapping around my neck. "But then you wouldn't see that handsome boy in the mirror." 

I cracked open one eye, taking a look at my bald head and my red and puffy face.

God I looked like hell.

As I opened the other, I noticed that Kris was smiling at me, his eyes twinkling as they gazed at mine. 

"See how hot he is? I can't believe all that iness is mine." He said, smiling from ear to ear. 

I had half a mind to swat him upside his head, but then again, he was being sweet. Even if he was lying.

"Did you know lying to a cancer patient is a sin?" I asked. Kris walked around me, propping his hands on the chair. 

"I'm not lying. You're beautiful no matter what you look like, hair or no hair." He kissed my forehead tenderly. "You'll always be handsome in my eyes."

I chuckled slightly staring at my hands. "Will you take me hat shopping?"

Kris smiled, reaching behind his back. "I'll do something better." He said, pulling a black beanie with the word 'Kris' printed on the front of it from his back pocket. "Here," he said handing it to me. "Try it on."

I stood up from the chair, placing the beanie atop my head, and surveyed myself in the mirror. 

"Not bad." I replied, turning to face him. "Thank you." I uttered softly. Kris really was thoughtful when it came to me.

He smiled leaning down to kiss my lips. 

"You're welcome." 

~*~

I ran to the bathroom, throwing up all contents of my stomach as I leaned over the porcelain toilet bowl.

What time was it? I don't even know, it was the middle of the night. Oh look, there's the meatloaf I had from dinner.

"Babe, you okay?" I heard Kris ask from the door way. He sounded worried.

My parents had given him the okay to spend the night, since he had refused to leave my side, and since the doctors upend my chemo dosage. 

Things seemed to just be getting worse. And throwing up was one of the many joys that came with chemo. I couldn't seem to hold anything down anymore except for liquids, and I was beginning to loose weight. Honestly, I looked anorexic.

I nodded from where I sat on the floor, wiping my mouth as I slowly transitioned to leaning against the tub. 

Kris grabbed a rag and wet it with cold water to wipe of the access puke that had somehow stuck to my lips. "Wait here, I'll go get you something to drink. Sprite?" He asked.

"Yes please." I commented softly, continuing to wipe off my mouth. I hated the taste of vomit, and I was doing everything I could to get it out. 

Before I knew it, Kris was back with a glass of sprite and a straw.  He sat it on the counter and helped me to my feet, shutting the toilet lid and sitting me down on it, then flushing the vomit. 

"Here, take a sip," he said, holding the straw to my parched lips. I gladly took it, sighing as I felt the fizzy drink settle my stomach. "Thank you." I said, my eyes drooping shut. I could feel fatigue taking over again, and lord knows I didn't need to pass out on Kris. "Help me to the bed?" I asked weakly. 

Kris only nodded, standing me on my feet. He effortlessly picked me up bridal style and carried me back to my bed, gently laying me down on the sheets. "Are you comfortable?" He asked.

I nodded stretching my arms out to him and wiggling my fingers. "Sleep with me." I whined softly. I' m not typically a clingy person, but ever since my health went down, I found myself wanting Kris near me more and more. 

He kept me calm. He made me feel safe, and loved, and he made me feel like he really loved me.

He smiled, slowly getting under the covers with me. "If you insist."

He had been sleeping on an air mattress on the floor for the sake of letting me sleep in my own bed without being disturbed by someone else's presence, but I could tell he was grateful to be sleeping on a bed instead of the floor.

I slowly my side, snuggling my face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. "Thank you." I mumbled, feeling sleep take over my mind.

Kris placed a kiss on my forehead, saying a soft 'you're welcome' as he to fell asleep, our breath slowly sinking as we drifted off to dream land.

~*~

"How many kids do you want to adopt?"

I looked up from my homework, wondering why I was being interrupted in the middle of my physics.

"Again with the random questions about the future?" I asked, watching Kris chuckle. 

"Yes." He replied. 

I sighed laying my pencil down. "Kris, we talked about this." I said.

He nodded leaning back in his chair. "I remember. And if you'll recall, I told you I'm optimistic." He said.

I thought he would drop this after our first conversation, but turns out I was wrong. The bastard was more persistent than I thought.

"Kris, I'm not planning my future. I don't even plan on having a future at all."

"Come on, a Kai, humor me."

"Kris, I don't want to. It's just false hope."

"No, it's not, it's dreaming about what could be."

"Yeah, and what could be is that I'll die before I graduate high school." I stated bluntly.

He sat silent letting my statement sink in. From the look on his face I think the realization finally hit him that I would probably die. It was hard for me myself to understand, but it had to be done. And the sooner he realized it, the better off we'd be. 

However, I wasn't prepared for what he said next.

"What could be, is you might live. You'll graduate, go on to college and succeed. Then we could get married, have a honeymoon and travel to exotic places. We could adopt kids, we could grow old together and have grandchildren." He said, his voice sounding both serious and hurt at the same time.

"So, how many kids do you want?" He asked again.

I didn't want to get his hopes up. I didn't want to promise him a future that might never come. Something, that we weren't promised. But the thought was nice.

We could go all over the world, see new places, experience new cultures. And when we're done, settle down, buy a home, raise a few kids. It seemed like a nice sentiment. Only problem was, it was a dream. Reality was death.

If only we would have a happy ending. If only we were promised a future of being together for years to come. If only I was promised a life that I would never get to live.

"Two." I said finally. "I want two kids."

Kris nodded. "And what would they be?"

"A boy and a girl." 

"What would we name them?" He asked.

I shrugged leaning back in my chair. "I don't know. Something nice."

Kris chuckled, nodding his head at the idea.

"Sounds good to me."

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You guys....I am so sorry that I haven't updated in so long.... 

I just haven't had any motivation to write,  I hope you understand. I promise I'll make it up to you!

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Saranghae!

-Kyla<3