(Fiffteen Years Later)

"Jong In, we're going to be late if you don't hurry up!" I heard my husband yell.

I smiled, slipping my daughter's shirt over her head. "We're on our way down now!" I said, standing up from where I was crouched on the floor. "Sulli-ah, go to Umma." I said, nudging her out the door.

My bubbly little girl nodded, rushing out the door and down the stairs where Taemin stood waiting for her. "Kai, that meant you as well!" He called.

I chuckled, quickly grabbing Sulli's jacket as I exited the room. "Coming! Is Jonghyun down there as well?"

"No, apparently he is MIA." I sighed, walking to my son's room and knocked on the door.

"Jonghyun, get your down stairs now, or no desert for a month." I said firmly.

My eight year old hurried out of his room before I had to tell him again. "Sorry Appa! I was playing a game!" He said, putting on his coat.

Taemin smiled, running his hand through his hair. "It alright, next time come when I call you." He said, pushing him towards the door. "Come on, we're going to miss our flight if we don't hurry." I nodded, scooping up my daughter and doing one last check around to see if we had everything.

"Bags are in the car?" I asked.

Taemin nodded. "Check."

"Passports?"

"Check."

"Kids bags' and toys?"

"Check and check."

"Husband?"

"Che- wait, that doesn't even need to be a question!" Taemin said, putting his hands on his hips.

I chuckled, walking over and giving him a kiss. "Just wanted to make sure you wee paying attention." I said, smiling from ear to ear.

He let out a grin, but smacked my arm as well. "That was mean." He said.

I kissed once more, then turned him around to go out the door.

"I love you too."

~*~

It's hard to believe that fifteen years ago I lost the love of my life. Kris was my everything, the reason I woke up every day. And he told me we would always be together.

And then suddenly he was gone.

But, as fate would have it, I recovered from my cancer. My hair grew back, I started attending college, and then out of the blue, Taemin waltzed into my life.

It was like a whole new world when I was with him. I still love Kris, but somewhere along the way I fell for Taemin almost as hard as I fell for him.

And when I told Tae about Kris, he insisted that we go visit his grave on his birthday.

So from then on out, we've gone every year. Even after we got married and adopted our children.

I think about Kris often when I look at my children. I wonder about what it would have been like if he had lived and we were raising these children together. He would have been a great father.

I know he would love these kids just as much as I do.

"Kai?" I heard Taemin ask.

I turned my head away from the air plane window to look at him.

"Yes?" I asked, adjusting my sleeping daughter who was snuggled up against my chest. Taemin smiled, running his hands through her hair.

"You're thinking about him again." It was a statement, not a question.

I sighed, reaching for his hand. "Yes. Does it bother you?" I asked. I knew it didn't but I always asked just to be sure.

Taemin leaned over, pecking my lips. "No, my love, it doesn't."

~*~

When we exited the plane, we retrieved our luggage and met Kris' parents at the airport. We always stayed with them when we came to visit, and even gave them the privilege of being the god parents to Jonghyun and Sulli.

"You want us to watch the kids for you?" Mrs. Wu asked, picking up Sulli. I nodded, nudging Jonghyun to go over to Mr. Wu.

"That would be nice. Tae," I said, turning to him. "Do you think I could go by myself?" I asked.

Taemin stared back at me, momentarily confused, but smiled, nodding. "Of course." He gave me a kiss and took off with the Wu's while I made my way over to a taxi.

"New Haven Cemterey." I said in Chinese, and leaned back as the driver took off from the curb.

The drive wasn't long, but it gave me enough time to think about what I would tell Kris when I got there.

I had made up my mind about a few things, and I needed to tell him. A lot had happened in the past year, and he no doubt would want to know all about it.

When the car pulled up, I paid the man and hurried up the hill to Kris' grave.

"Hey babe," I called, jogging up in front of the stone.

The same warm breeze I felt the day of his funeral greeted me again, as it always did when I visited. I smiled, closing my eyes and letting the air flow over my face. "I missed you too." I said, taking a seat on the soft grass.

It was quiet as I listened to the sounds around me.

"I have something to tell you," I said, leaning forward on my knees. "You already know about Taemin and the kids, but we've decided we're going to adopt again. Another boy." I said, smiling from ear to ear.

"We haven't decided his name yet," I said, hearing the wind pick up. "Don't worry, I'm not going to be that person that names one of their kids after their dead lover." I said, chuckling slightly.

The wind slowed down to a gentle breeze. "But I also have one more thing to say." I paused a moment, waiting to figure out the right way to say it without being hurtful.

"I don't think I'm going to come visit anymore. At least, not as often as I have been doing the past few years." I said. The wind slowed even more, but it didn't stop.

"I'm not doing it to say I don't want to see you anymore, but," I paused again. "I need to move on."

"I love you, you know that. But I think it's time that I grow up and let go of the past. You're gone, you have been for fifteen years. And I can't bring you back." The wind came to a halt.

"I'm sorry if this upsets you, but I'm an adult now, Kris. I have a husband and children and I need to focus on them." I said.

It was quiet for a long while, but then I felt the weirdest thing.

It was like a pair of lips were touching my cheek. I turned to the left where I felt it, and there was no one there.

I slowly smiled, lifting my hand to my cheek. "So you're okay with this?" I asked.

The wind blew, warm and strong, letting me know I had made the right choice.

"Alright then." I said standing. I ran my hand over his head stone and leaned down, placing a kiss atop it.

"I love you, Kris." I whispered, turning on my heels and slowly walking from the cemetery.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt like everything would be okay.

Kris may have been gone, I may have had cancer, but everything would be okay.

~*~

The letter C isn't always the easiest thing to deal with.

It's kind of like a bottomless pit that you fall into and can't get out of.

Most people stay down there for years until the disease eats away at them completely.

But if you're lucky enough, like I was, someone comes along and throws down a rope, pulling you out.

Kris was my rope, my saving grace.

Turns out, the letter C wasn't that big of a hole after all.

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[A/N:]

You guys....

It's over...

I'm actually sad that it's ending, but it had to be done.

Thank you for sticking with this story for this long. I love you all very much. <3

Thank you for reading.

Upvote (pretty please?), comment for the comment ?

Saranghae~

-Kyla<3