[Who Am I?]
I Am What I Am
Recap: HyunA and DongWoo had a confrontation at the hospital. DongWoo got mad and left for a bit to let his mind breathe for a little, but he did eventually get back safely. The doctor went out to speak with all of them, saying Ricky was fine; but didn't really say anything else about Hoya, so the rest of them began to worry. It turns out that Hoya hit the ground really hard when he got shot, and now he'll be suffering with amnesia. He will most likely not remember anything that has happened to him in his whole life.
- meanwhile -
SungYeol bit his nails in anxiousness, "Hoya just needs to be okay and everything will get back to normal."
MyungSoo gave his hand a tight squeeze, looking him in the eyes; "Don't worry so much, I'm sure he'll be okay."
"It's easy to say that L." SungYeol said.
MyungSoo narrowed his eyes, SungYeol never called him L unless he was mad or out of focus; and he was clearly every single negative emotion anyone could think of. All MyungSoo could do was sit there and comfort him as best as he could.
The Teen Top guys sat closest around Ricky's bed, and they all jumped in joy when he began to slowly open up his eyes and smile at them.
"Ricky!" Changjo exclaimed in happiness, "How you holding up?"
Ricky gave a smile, a weak smile; but it was good enough to know that he really was okay, "Still feeling a bit of pain, but I'll be fine soon." he assured them all.
CAP looked away as he talked to him, "You just have to be the good guy always, don't ya?"
Niel narrowed his eyes, looking at CAP; "Yah hyung, are you crying?"
"No!" CAP quickly answered, wiping the edges of his eyes; "Some, some dust just got in my eye earlier."
Chunji laughed, "Hyung, we all know you love Ricky the most."
CAP then finally turned around, looking at all of them; "I love you all equally! I am the leader."
"Fcking lie."
"L.Joe!" Chunji shot up from his seat, running over to L.Joe who slowly walked his way in; trying to avoid all the pain in his arm, "What are you doing here?!"
L.Joe rolled his eyes, "Chunji, I'll be fine." he took a seat beside him, telling him to calm down; "How are you Ricky boy?"
Ricky laughed, "I'm doing good."
L.Joe looked around, "How's Hoya doing?"
Timing was perfect, because in came WooHyun and Sungjong a couple seconds after L.Joe asked.
WooHyun and Sungjong walked into the room, quietly; avoiding all eye contact with anyone.
"Guys? What's going on? Where is DongWoo?" SungYeol began to question them.
WooHyun told Sungjong to sit down and try to calm himself, and WooHyun began to talk to everyone else. He looked SungYeol in the eyes, "I guess things never will get back to normal."
"What? What do you mean?!" SungGyu asked him, "What happened?"
WooHyun ran his hands through his hair, stressed as can be; "Hoya hit the ground really hard when he got shot." he began.
"And?" MyungSoo chimed in, "What does that mean?"
WooHyun bit his lips, breathing out; "He has amnesia. He has a 98% chance of not remembering anything that's happened in his life. Or, the people in it."
All the guys covered their mouths in shock, completely lost for words.
"Where's DongWoo?" SungYeol quickly asked.
"He wanted to go see Hoya by himself. I really think he deserves alone time with him. He's been through way too much sht these past months." WooHyun said, on the verge of crying.
SungGyu held the shaking WooHyun in his arms, trying to calm him down; "We can't be weak, DongWoo needs us to stay strong."
MyungSoo looked up at SungYeol, who started shaking as well; he clenched his fists, his veins popping out of his arms; "Yeol, are you okay?"
SungYeol looked up at the ceiling, fanning in his face; "I can't cry, I can't cry."
"Yeol.." MyungSoo stood behind him, wrapping his arms around him in a hug; "We can get through this."
SungYeol trusted MyungSoo, he believed everything he said; and he wasn't going to lose hope.
"What the hell did we do to deserve all this?" Sungjong sat by himself, crying.
- meanwhile -
DongWoo slowly walked into Hoya's room, his entire body shaking. He looked at Hoya, asleep in bed; not even knowing anything that was going on around him. So many cords and such were attached to him, and all DongWoo could do was break down and cry.
The doctors warned him, telling him it'd be best if he didn't go in; but he insisted. He needed to see Hoya. He longed to see Hoya. His life was Hoya, and nothing was going to get in the way of it.
DongWoo walked over to Hoya's bed, pulling up a seat and sat down nervously; looking at Hoya's hopeless state.
"I can't believe this." DongWoo examined his entire body. Although he knew Hoya was alive, he couldn't bare to think of the fact that no matter how hard he tried; things were never going to be normal again. Their love would never be the same. What was he supposed to do?
He grabbed onto his hands, Hoya still not waking up. DongWoo let his face flush with tears and sadness, but he tried his best to compose himself as he began to talk to him.
"Hoya, I'm sorry." After apologizing, he only cried some more; squeezing his hand tighter, bringing it to his face, "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here right now." he paused again, "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be a part of our fcked up lives. If it wasn't for me, everything would be okay." DongWoo rested his head on Hoya's chest, "I love you Hoya, more than the world can imagine. And I don't regret anything more than not being able to tell you this while things were still okay." He rubbed his hand, kissing his fingers; "You're my everything. You're who I think of when I wake up in the morning, you're the one I think about before I go to sleep, and you're the one I dream about at night." he paused, "You've made me a better person, and I wasn't able to show you how much all of that meant to me. I was selfish. Lee HoWon, you were the better half of me. You've shown me the true happiness of life, and now that things are like this; I don't know if I'll able be truly happy again. Without you, I won't be able to live anymore.."
SungYeol's hands slipped down the window as he watched DongWoo cry on Hoya's body.
MyungSoo put his hand on SungYeol's shoulder, watching DongWoo from outside the room was more painful then they thought it'd be. "Do you wanna go in?"
SungYeol turned to face MyungSoo, his eyes already swelling with tears; "Do you see me right now?" he pointed to his face, taking a seat.
MyungSoo sat down next to him, rubbing his back; "You know, we can always try to help bring back Hoya's memory. Pictures, videos, everything else."
"That doesn't even matter." SungYeol covered his face with his hands, "I treated Hoya like sht the whole time I knew him. I didn't even get the chance to get to know him, yet alone, even apologize for being such a to him."
"Don't say that." MyungSoo said, "Maybe this happened because now it gives you a chance to start all over."
SungYeol shook his head, "I may have never liked Hoya, not even one bit. But he made DongWoo happy, and that's all that mattered to me. I don't think I'll ever be able to live with myself knowing that maybe I could've prevented any of this from happening."
"Yeol!" MyungSoo yelled out, "None of this was your fault!"
"It's all my fault L!" SungYeol screamed back, holding his head; "If I did something to help save DongWoo and Hoya's relationship, they would've never broken up. But what did I do instead? I let Hoya leave DongWoo, when I knew damn sure that he needed him. I acted selfish, and that's all I'm ever going to be."
"SungYeol, please." MyungSoo began to tear up, trying his best to not show him any weaknesses; "We can fix this!"
SungYeol bit down his lips, not even saying anything; just letting MyungSoo hold him in his arms.
"Nurse! Nurse! Doctor!" DongWoo came dashing out of the room, screaming; "Hoya woke up!" he ran his hands through his hair furiously, freaking out; "He started screaming and shaking, and I don't know what to do!"
The main doctor along with head nurses came running in, pushing the three guys out far away.
"I have to know what's going on!" DongWoo tried to fight through them, but a man started pushing him back.
The nurse looked at him with pleading eyes, "I'm sorry, you have to go."
SungYeol grabbed DongWoo's left arm, MyungSoo grabbed his right; they tried their best to pull him as far away, dragging him to another room.
DongWoo fell to the floor, crying in his arms; not even noticing who was touching him.
"Hoya! Hoya!" The doctor yelled out, giving the nurses the permission to strap his arms and legs down to make sure he didn't hurt anyone.
Hoya shut his eyes hard, screaming; "Where am I?!"
Before he could say anything else, the doctor injected something to calm him down; and thankfully, it happened right away.
Hoya began to mellow down, just laying in bed; staring at the ceiling; "Who are you guys? Where am I?"
The doctor pointed at one nurse with a clipboard, "Jot down everything he says." he turned back to Hoya, "Do you not remember anything HoWon? Anything at all."
Hoya didn't say anything for the first few seconds, instead; tears began to flow down his cheeks. "Am I supposed to remember something?"
The doctor sighed, shaking his head; "I guess it's already what we thought it'd end up to be."
Hoya looked at the everyone in the room, "Can you please tell me who you all are?" he asked, "And, who am I?" he teared up some more.
The doctor looked him in the eyes, "I think it's best if your friends come in here and explain everything to you, maybe that might help."
Hoya narrowed his eyes, confused; "Fr-friends?"
Seeing Hoya's state of mind now, do you guys think things will ever be okay?
Should I, or should I not, bring HyunA back into the story?
When will they ever get back to South Korea?
Find out in the upcoming chapters!
Thank you soo much for reading!
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I LOVE YOU ALL <3
PS: I know when I first came out with this fanfic, it was based all around MyungSoo and his interactions with the group. Casually, it turned into more of a MyungYeol story; just like how I wanted. But then YaDong's problems came in, and I didn't think it would end up being dragged on for so long. I'm sorry if this bothers anyone, and if it does; please tell me in the comments below! My mentality when I began this story, was that it would just be based around the three main INFINITE couples; MyungYeol, YaDong, and WooGyu. But, I guess it turned more into a friendship fanfic if I say so myself. I didn't really like how I was writing it, but; it is what it is right? But please, if you guys are upset with everything that's going on; or if you like it, please tell me! I've been having a lot of silent readers and that's when I get confused in my own story. /: but yeah, that's just my little author's talk of the day! Have a lovely day everyone!
- First day of school today, meaning; I don't know when my next update will be.. please forgive me! D;
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