Tao cried out as Kris hit the floor. Blood was quickly pooling staining the white floor and scarlet red.

“Nurse! Someone! We need help in here!” Tao shouted as he collapsed on his knees.

“Kris please! Please don’t go!”

Lights flickered on and soon the room was filled with a medical team and a few nurses.

Tao’s nurse took him gently by the elbow and let him out of the room. His nightgown was stain with blood and he was still dazed. She cleaned him off and led him to a new room.

“Tao? Are you alright dear? I’m sure that your friend will be fine. Please don’t worry.”

“There…. There was so much blood. I… I didn’t know what to do… I just… I panicked.”

The nurse gently put a hand on Tao’s. “You did what you could. Now why don’t you get some rest so you can be there for your friend when he’s ready?”

Tao just nodded and lay back against the white pillows. His sleep was fitful and he couldn’t get the image of Kris covered in blood out of his head. Eventually he snapped awake gasping for air and covered in sweat. He looked out the window and saw that it was dawn. Remembering Kris, he slid of out of bed and went to look for him.

He walked barefoot down the cold hallways of the hospital peaking in each room for his friend. Finally he came across a familiar face. Sliding the door open he entered and went to the side of the bed. Kris was asleep with a white bandage wrapped around his head. Wires and tubes were attached to his skin and Tao could see a bag of blood slowly draining into Kris’s body.

Pulling up a chair he sat down and took Kris’s hands in his own.

“You scared me back there. I was afraid that you would die before me and that’s something I’m not ok with. You have a long life ahead of you and I would be upset if it got cut short. Please stay strong.”

Tao rested his head on the side of the bed and found himself drifting to sleep. The next time he awoke Kris was still unconscious.

“You need to take your medicine and also Yixing is stopping by so go back to your room for a bit.” A nurse ushered him out and he reluctantly went back to his new room.

Yixing entered not long after and clicked his tongue. “I knew that boy would be trouble. Who the hell comes to a hospital in the middle of the night?”

“Maybe he had no where else to go Yixing. Also if he hadn’t come here he could have died from blood loss. Do you know how he’s doing?”

“That is none of your business. But he should make a full recovery. Most of the wounds on his head were flesh wounds and he just lost blood. Don’t worry. Now let’s focus on you. You’re still refusing Chemo? It could lengthen your life by a few months.”

Tao laughed, “I don’t need to prolong my inevitable fate Yixing. I’m going to die. I’ve accepted that.”

“Aish such deep words for such a young kid. Ok well we can at least continue your medicine to help with the pain. Here, take these.” Yixing handed Tao 2 blue pills and marked something down on his clipboard.

“When will Kris wake up?” Tao asked before gulping down the pills.

“Not sure. I’m not the doctor in charge of him thank god.”

Tao got out of bed, “Ok well I guess I’ll just go wait then.”

Yixing stuck an arm across the doorway. “As your doctor I can’t allow you to do that.”

“Why not?”

“Tao… I’ve been examining your lungs and they’re collapsing. They can barely hold themselves up anymore and I’m afraid that if you exert yourself too much they’ll collapse and you’ll suffocate. I want to recommend that you start using a breathing machine. It’s fairly large and requires you to stay in bed. I’m not saying that you’re going to be hooked up to it forever, but just for about half the day. It can give your lungs time to rest and can help them regain their strength. What do you say?”

“No.” Tao answered quickly. “Now can I go?”

Yixing frowned, “You barely gave it any thought. Tao you really need to think about this. I know that you’ve given up hope, but I haven’t. I want to see you walk out of this hospital and I don’t want you to ever come back until you’re a ripe old age of 100.”

“That’s not going to happen. Yixing, you’re the doctor. You know what my cancer is doing to me. It’s killing me and it isn’t going to stop until I’m dead. I’ve accepted it and I think that you should too.”

“No Tao. Someone needs to fight for your life and if it isn’t you then it has to be me.”

“Whatever, now if there’s nothing else I’m going to go.”

Tao brushed past Yixing and disappeared around the corner. Yixing sighed and rubbed his temple. Glancing down at his charts he saw the words 1-2 months. That was all Tao had left if the cancer behaved as predicted. Flipping through some more papers he came to a name that made his stomach sick.

Kris Wu

The delinquent who came and got Tao all riled up in the middle of the night. He looked through the body chart and his eyes widened when they stopped around the stomach.

Weak liver

Transplant needed ASAP without one; 1-2 months

‘You have got to be kidding me. Kris needs a liver transplant? I guess that’s what drinking and drugs do to a kid. Dead within 1-2 months without it, I wonder who will go first, Tao or Kris.’

Tao walked briskly down the hallway ignoring the pain in his chest. He came to a stop outside of Kris’s room and took a deep breath. The pain had subsided by hadn’t disappeared. He slid open the door to find Kris sitting up in bed.

“Kris.” Tao breathed.

“Tao. Hey.”

“You come to my room in the middle of the night gushing blood, pass out, and are unconscious for days and all you can say is ‘hey’?”

“Sorry I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say. I just feel tired and dizzy at the moment.”

Tao pulled up a chair and sat down, laying his head on the bed, he grabbed Kris’s hand.

“You really scared me you know. It felt weird thinking that my friend was going to die before me.”

“You’re not going to die Tao. You’re going to get better and then you’ll come back to school and go to college and grow up to have children and then you’ll die at a ripe old age of 100.”

Tao smiled, “Yeah. Why don’t you sleep, I bet you’re tired.”

Kris nodded, closed his eyes, and soon fell asleep.

‘I’m sorry Kris, but I’m not going to make it to 100, I won’t even make it back to school.’

Closing his eyes, Tao fell asleep next to Kris dreaming of a life he could never have.

Tao awoke back in his room. ‘Damn you Yixing.’

As if on cue, Yixing entered the room with a cold look on his face. “Tao, I’m very disappointed in you. Falling asleep in another patient’s room not only puts your health at risk, but his as well. You should know this by now.”

“Sorry. I was bored and I just wanted to talk to him and then I fell asleep. I’m more tired these days.”

“That’s because your lungs are working harder and harder to keep you alive. I still recommend the breathing machine.”

“I still say no.”

“You know Tao, it’s not really my place to share information, but since it’s for your own good I’ll let you in on a secret; your friend is going to die as well.”

“What?” Tao’s eyes widened and he gripped the bed sheets until his hands were white, “But Kris is perfectly healthy aside from the head injury, but you said that he would make a full recovery.”

“It’s not his head, it’s his liver. It’s been abused for too long by copious amounts of alcohol. The drugs aren’t helping either and he needs a transplant. However, we all know that the list is quite long and currently he’s at the bottom. I doubt that there will be one available in time to save him.”

“You have to be kidding me! He’s young! He’s smart and full of potential! How can you let this happen Yixing?! How can you be ok with someone with their whole life ahead of them die?”

Yixing glared at Tao before slamming down his clipboard, “Have you been ignoring me this whole time?! Tao! You are that someone! You have your whole life ahead of you, but you refuse to let me help! Not that I don’t care about Kris, but if it came down to saving you or him I would choose you!”

“What if I wouldn’t choose me? What if I would choose Kris? Would you respect my decision?”

“Like hell I would!”

Tao clenched his jaw, “I want to be alone. I’m tired.”

Yixing ran a hand through his blonde locks and let out a tired sigh, “I understand. I’m sorry for exploding at you Tao, it’s just hard sometimes. They always warned us that if we became too emotionally involved with a patient it would just make the job harder, but of course I did just that. I really care about you Tao and it hurts me to see you here in the hospital instead of out living your life. Please understand that I’m not trying to be the bad guy, but if that’s what it takes to keep you alive then so be it.”

“I understand. Thank you. It’s nice to have someone who cares, but Kris cares about me too. We understand each other and as of right now he’s one of my only friends besides you and Kyungsoo. I’ve always had trouble talking and communicating with other people so it makes Kris all the more special. Please don’t let me lose my friend Yixing, anything but that.”

“I know Tao; I won’t let him go anywhere. You should get some rest. I’ll come back in a while to check on you alright?”

Tao nodded and closed his eyes. Yixing stayed and waited until Tao’s breaths smoothed out and he was asleep. Glancing over one last time he saw a tear trail down Tao’s cheek.

Yixing felt bad for the boy. He knew that Tao didn’t connect with people very easily and it took him a long time to trust someone. It would be bad for his mental health to lose someone who he held so close to him. Walking down the hall he went in search of the doctor in charge of Kris.

“Doctor Kim.”

“Ah Yixing-ah! Good to see you. Can I help you with something?”

“Yes. I’ve come to check on the status of one of your patients. Kris Wu?”

“Mm yes the lad with the bad liver.”

“Do you know if there is any chance of him having a liver transplant in time?”

Dr. Kim gave Yixing a sympathetic look, “Now Yixing, you know just as well as I do that the list is quite long and he’s currently at the bottom. The chances are very slim unless someone directly donates to him, but on his record his parents are listed as estranged and he doesn’t have any close relatives. No one has even come to visit him while he’s been in the hospital. Why are you asking? Do you know the boy?”

“Well he’s actually a friend of Tao’s. Tao was really upset when he found out about his condition and I’m worried that if we lose Kris we’ll lose Tao as well.”

“I see well I’m sorry to hear that and if there’s anything that I can do just let me know.”

“Yes thank you for your time.”

Dr. Kim bowed before going back to work.

Tao lay in his bed staring at the ceiling.

“Kris is going to die.” The words were stale on his tongue.

A tear trickled down the side of his cheek as he turned over onto his side.

Tao had always been prepared for his death. He knew it was coming and that there was nothing he could do to stop it. Doctors were constantly telling him that he could do so much to postpone it, but what was the point of trying to run from an inevitable fate? But Kris, Kris didn’t deserve to die. He was a good person who had so much to offer the world. Tao just couldn’t believe how cruel fate was.

‘If only I could just take a liver from someone else.’ Tao thought to himself.

‘Wait a minute… a liver from someone who doesn’t need it; someone like me.’ Tao sat up in bed as the idea hit him; he would donate his liver to Kris.

But it wasn’t certain who would die first and Tao knew that there was no way Yixing would let him donate his liver while he was still alive. That meant that he would have to speed up his death.

‘I’ll stop taking the medicine and I’ll sleep in the cold, I’ll be rough with my body and I’ll eat junk food.’ Tao listed off things he could do in his mind.

‘I’ll die so the one I love can live.’

AN UPDATE! I'M SO SORRY THAT I'VE BEEN A CRAPPY AUTHOR PLEASE FORGIVE ME

I became caught up in my other stories and I've just been having a hard time writing so I apologize. 

Thank you for understanding and sticking with me. I promise you will be rewarded :)