The morning of Kris’ surgery came, but there were no smiles to be found. Kris gave Tao’s hand a reassuring squeeze before he was carted off in a wheelchair. Tao’s face had remained cold and emotionless since he woke and Kris was worried. The loss of Yixing had hit Tao harder than anyone. Yixing had been his stone wall, his pillar of hope, his guardian, and now he was gone. Kris had never been in surgery before so he was lost as the doctors and nurses buzzed around him telling him words he had never heard of. After asking for the 20^th time what a word meant he gave up and remained silent. They prepped him for surgery and had him wait for a few minutes as the surgeon entered the room.

“Good morning Kris. My name is Dr. Yunwoo, I’ll be your surgeon for this operation. I just want you to know that this is a procedure that I have performed many times in my career and based on the file I looked over we should have you out of here in a few hours.”

Kris gave him a small smile and nodded. He wasn’t worried about the surgery, in fact he still didn’t feel like he deserved it, but here he was about to have a piece of Yixing inside of him. The thought made him sick and he was petrified of the results.

“Kris, please count down from ten.” A nurse said as she placed a breathing mask over his face.

Kris started his countdown and felt drowsy by eight and was asleep before five.

The surgeon glanced at the nurse to confirm that the patient was asleep. When he received a nod in return he quickly sprung into action.

“Alright someone had me the scalpel.”

“Prepare the kidneys.”

As Yunwoo was working he felt tears sting his eyes, ‘Yixing-ah… always helping people until the end.’

He had been working as a surgeon for a number of years before Yixing entered the practice. The young youthful man made the workplace light and friendly. He always had a smile on his face and Yunwoo had grown very fond of him, almost like a father loving his son.

Kris was quickly stitched up after the kidneys were in place and everyone breathed a sigh of relief when his vitals remain steady.

“He should be ready to go.” Yunwoo said as he peeled off his face mask and wiped the remaining sweat from his forehead. The nurses nodded and wheeled the bed out of the room.

Kris tried to look around, but could only see darkness. He called out for Tao and his parents, but no one answered. His breathing increased and he felt a cold sweat over come him. Where was everyone? Why was it so dark? Curling into a ball he tried to calm himself as panic over took him.

Kris

A voice called out.

“Hello? Tao?”

Kris

“I’m here! Tao!” Kris stood up and frantically looked around in the dark abyss.

Kris

The sky cracked and light poured down blinding Kris temporarily.

Kris

“Tao!!”

Kris opened his arms as Tao slowly floated down from the bright sky above. Smiling, Kris reached towards him, but quickly drew back when the face of his beloved morphed into Yixing’s bloodied head.

Kris… why are you living while I’m dead? All I’ve ever done is help people, help you, help Tao… and yet I’m the one dead. I had my whole life ahead of me, but now it’s over and instead you’re living.

“I’m sorry! I never wanted this to happen I swear! I would rather die then live because of you! Please! Please forgive me Yixing!”

Kris was on his knees begging and pleading as Yixing’s voice continued to echo around his head.

I was a fool for wasting my time on a worthless human like you. What have you done to deserve life? What have you done to prove that you are more worthy to live than I am?

Kris’ shoulders bobbed up and down as sobs escaped his lips. His eyes squeezed shut yet tears still managed to escape.

“I’m sorry” he whispered over and over.

*Beep* *beep* *beep*

“The patient’s vitals are dropping! Hurry get to the defibrillator!”

Nurses had rushed into the room the instant the monitor started to beep.

“Clear!”

Kris’ body jumped out of the bed with the shot of electricity.

“Clear!”

Again the motion repeated.

“He’s not going to make it.” One of the nurses said as they watched the screen for any signs of life.

Worthless, useless, undeserving, cold…

Yixing’s voice spat words at Kris who tried to shield himself with his hands covering his ears and eyes while swatting at the air around him.

“Just let me die already!” he screamed as he tugged at his hair.

Kris?

Tao’s sweet voice cut through the mist around him and touched his ears.

“Tao?” Kris called out.

“Tao are you there?” Kris wiped his tears and pulled himself to his feet.

Kris? It’s dark. I can’t see you. Where are you?

Tao’s voice said again from behind Yixing’s taunting words.

“I’m here Tao! I’m coming!” Kris shouted as he broke into a run. There was nothing but white walls around him and he had no idea where he was going, but he continued to run.

Worthless, useless, undeserving…

“Shut up!” Kris shouted.

You know it’s true. Just die like you should’ve and make things right.

“No…”

No?

“No. I can’t. I can’t die.”

Why not?

“Tao… he needs me. He would be all alone if I died. I can’t do that to him, I can’t leave him like that.”

You really think that boy wants you? You would be doing him a favor by ridding his life of you.

“I don’t care. Maybe it’s selfish, maybe it’s irrational, but I don’t care. I want to be by his side as long as I can. I’m sorry that things turned out this way Yixing, I really am. I’m grateful that you took me in and introduced me to the most special person in my life, but I have to move forward. I hope that you find peace just like I have.

“The patient is stabilizing!” a nurse called out as she checked the monitor.

The room collectively breathed a sigh of relief. Peeling off their gloves they exited the room once sure that the danger was over.

“Kris,” Yixing’s voice spoke again, but this time it was calm, it was warm just like he remembered it.

“Yixing?” Kris looked around at the white walls searching for a face. Suddenly a bright light flashed and Kris had to shield his eyes. When he opened them and squinted he saw a white door forming. It swung open and Yixing, dress in a white robe, stepped out with a smile on his face

“Yixing!”Kris ran forward until he was standing awestruck in front of him.

“It’s good to see you.” Yixing said putting a gentle hand on Kris’ head.

“I’m so sorry! I never…” Kris started, but Yixing put a hand up.

“Don’t Kris. There’s nothing to be sorry for. This is life, things happen. At least you can live the rest of your life. Even though mine is over I don’t want you or Tao to be sad. I want you to be happy that you have each other and to be thankful for each day.”

“I will. I promise.” Kris said as tears pooled in the corners of his eyes.

“Also, please watch over Tao. I really care about him. He’s a special kid.”

“I know he is. You didn’t even need to tell me.”

Yixing smiled somewhat sadly as he turned back to the door which was already starting to close. “Live well Kris.” Kris watched as the back of Yixing disappeared along with the door leaving him alone in a white room.

“I will.” He whispered. 

Wow it had been forever since I last updated and I apologize! ｍ(｡≧Д≦｡)ｍ

If you haven't seen my blog post, I put my plans for updating there which is mostly over Winter Break. I hope to finish this one though since I'm almost near the end. I hope this update wasn't too awful since it has been a while since I sat down to write. 

What else is there to say... it's good to be back? Well for a little bit anyways. 

Even though I don't really think I deserve to ask this, but please leave a comment, upvote, subscribe and add me as a friend! 

Hope you had an awesome Thanksgiving!