She lived in a rented rooftop house near hongdae. The place wasn’t high class, but it wasn’t shabby either. Her place had wooden floors and clean, white walls. It was as big as my bathroom, but every thing was placed neatly and everywhere was clean.

While watching her, I was impressed. She didn’t require any walking stick. She must be very familiar with the place, as she could find the location of her iphone charger almost immediately.

After I informed Mr Kim about my situation, I sat down in front of her small dining table and she gave me a glass of tea.

“This helps to clear your mind after drinking.”

“Sorry I had to ask for your help…”

“It’s no trouble, really. The place was near to where I lived anyway. I’m a late sleeper.” She says as she drank her glass of juice.

I observed the picture frames and books around her cabinets. There were pictures of young children and an elderly woman among others.

I put down the glass of tea and inquired, “Who are those in your photo frames?”

She smiles and tilt her head, like she was recalling something sweet.

“The kids at the school i worked at and my grandmother.”

I leaned forward. “You teach?”

She nodded and explained, “I play the piano to the kids at Baekcheon kindergarten. That school was falling apart and losing students. They needed some good activities to attract students. I decided to help them because the principal was a friend of my grandmother.”

I was deeply impressed and in shame...

Impressed because she was doing something really great in her life.

In shame because what I do, as compared to hers, just looked like I was something useless.

I looked around the room again – 1 bed.

“Where does your grandmother stay?” I asked

Her smiles vanishes for a brief moment, and it returned as she replied me,”she passed away a year ago.”

My heart skipped a beat. I was in shock. Have she been living along all these while?

“I’m terribly sorry.”

She shook her head swiftly.

“You must be wondering why would a blind person like me have pictures, why would a blind person like me read. I loved reading but I couldn't see. So before my grandmother left, she used to read to me every single day. She also puts up pictures for me because she believed that I could see again, she believed in me more than any doctors did.”

Tears welled up in her eyes. At that moment, I had the urge to stretch out my hand and hold her face, telling her everything is okay.

“I believe in that too.” I said after a moment’s pause.

She smiles and thanked me as she quickly wiped her tears away.

Then she quickly sat straight up again, “by the way do you drink regularly?”

“uh........yeah.”

“why?”

It took me several minutes to decide whether or not to tell her. I didn’t want to show her how weak I was. But hell, she carried me home, I had no more ego left in me anyway.

“I drink, a lot. I don’t know why. It’s like an escape for me. I tend to avoid problems, and just waste my life away.”

She nodded silently and rested her chin on her palms.

I continued, “ My mother… before she left me she said she wanted to see me as a great successor. I don’t know why I gave up on life either. But every single day I did nothing useful. ”

“Wasting my life away is definitely a no for me… “ she leans slightly forward. For some reason, I backed away slightly. I think I was shy.

“I’m very different from you.” I said.

“My grandmother told me not to give up on life. She said I should look forward to being able to see again. Something to look forward to...  Don’t you have anything to look forward to?”

she continued, : “If you have something to look forward to, and get something meaningful to do every day, you wouldn’t be wasting your life away, no? You should look forward to your mother's return. That can motivate you to do things to prove to her that you can do it. "

I nodded and agreed.

But I lied.

My mother would never return. because she had died.

If I told soo jung that what I look forward to in life is for my mother to return, then I don't have to tell her that what I was actually looking forward to was the last day of my life.

Because I can't tell her that I was in fact, a dying man.

So I told her instead that I was looking forward to see my mother, so she don't have to know that I am dying.

“You can do it. Your mother would be proud.” she said cheerfully.

I smiled and replied, “yes.”

Somehow, she managed to wake up something that has been sleeping inside of me ever since I found out my days are numbered. Motivation…. That’s what it is.

Her smile seems to be telling my sleeping motivation – wake up, Jongin, it’s time to wake up.

She starts to yawn quietly and rest her head on the table, on top of her arms.

“How about…. Making wishes.” She said, still smiling.

“What’s that?”

“A bucket list of things you want to do.”

By now, this motivation inside of me had awaken. Fully.

I want to do useful things before I die. I want to prove to Jongdae, Mr Kim, Mr Choi, My father and my mother that I can, and I will. At the beginning I thought I would just die as a wasted drunkard. But now I want something more. Am I being greedy? I want to leave without any regrets. I want to be somebody who is worthy of standing next to someone as optimistic as soojung.

Letting a girl with eyesight impairment help me because I was drunk. And I was drunk because I couldn't solve my problems. While this girl is doing meaningful things every single day. So what are you, Kim Jong In? This somehow stirred up something in me.

I don't want my mother's last wishes to go down the drain. I don't want to take huge sums of money even when I wasn't doing anything useful. I just want to feel.... meaningful.

“Make as many wishes as you can think of,” she says.

“No, I think…just about 50.”

Soo jung, I don’t have the time to make that many…

“Oh, right, 50 things to do before your mother comes back...” her eyes were slowly closing.

I said yes.

I’m sorry, soojung, I couldn’t tell you the truth.I couldn't look at you and tell you, "hey look, I only have one more year to live, that's why I can only make 50 wishes."

“I....really...want to help you with that…” soo jung’s voice trails off, her eyes were closed now and she’s fast asleep with a smile on her face.

I took the blanket from her bed and covered her. I didn’t carry her; in case I woke her up.

“Mr Kim calling…” My phone reads.

He must have reached.

“Good night,” I said quietly and walked towards the door as quiet as I could. “And … thank you.”

I smiled and closed the door behind me.

And this is how those 50 wishes began...