It's weird.

I couldn't find Jongdae anywhere. For the past few days, i have been trying to find him but, where did he go?

Wait.

Didn't I hate him? So what am I doing trying to find him?

I don't know myself that well either.

Perhaps deep inside me I had wanted to accept his apology long ago.

But my pride and ego blocked that chance.

Suddenly I felt regret.

My thoughts came back to reality when the servants informed me my "friends" came. Why are they here? Haven't I chased them away long ago?

Baekhyun and Chanyeol looked drastically different when they strode in. Their hair were unkept, they no longer kept their luxury bags with them, their clothes looked cheap and they looked distressed. They must have ran out of my money to use. I took my card back and gave them cash instead. I thought this way they would learn how to not spend hastily. I was wrong.

I shook my head in disapproval and folded my arms as I watched them flop down on the sofa.

Baekhyun's hands ran through his messy hair.

"I'm really sorry, jong in..." he said as he covered his face. Chanyeol kept quiet.

'I..." he began sobbing quietly, "didn't know that you were such a great friend and I lost you because I didn't cherish it,"

I don't want to listen to them anymore, but the more they cried out to me, to more pain I felt.

Chanyeol warms his throat and spoke softly,"we don't know how to repay you..." I shook my head and told them I don't need any repayments as long as they could change. They nodded and listened to me intentively. This was the first time I see them truly listen to what I had to say.

"We just wanted to repay you..other than this there's nothing we could do.." Baekhyun took out an orange sealed evelope.

I frowned and slowly opened it. I had a bad feeling to this.... My hands slipped and the objects inside the enelope dropped to the floor. I looked down and they were photographs. As I looked on closer, a gasp left my mouth. I stared in shock.

"What...what are you doing stalking soo jung?!" I grabbed baekhyun's collars. "What do you plan to do with her? Threaten me?" I said furiously. Baekhyun just kept shaking his head. Chanyeol pulled me away and took one of the photograph. "Look, who do you see?" He says.

But...It was soo jung and... Jong dae??

I tilted my head.

The photographs showed soo jung and jong dae talking at a cafe. What did they talk about? Soo jung hadn't mention to me about meeting Jong dae?

"I know we were bad friends, and we hope you wouldn't have any more friends like us, so we checked up on everyone. I thought this girl who could changed you was good, but then.." Chanyeol hesitated. I grabbed his arm. "tell me," I ordered.

He kept quiet, and Baekhyun stepped in. "Soo jung was just someone Jong dae hired to get close to you, he was playing with you!"

I hit him in the head. "hit me all you want, believe me or not, you can see it for yourself. Do you truly believe there is no one in this world who would come after you for something other than money?" He said as he tidied his hair.

I flopped down to my knees. They cautioned me before leaving quietly and left me alone in the big empty space.

My hands reached for where my heart was.

All these while my heart was blinded by love.

I hit myself in the chest.

Nobody in this world is worth believing. Nobody is real. Even Soo jung....whom I loved...

Tears came flooding down.

What kind of life am I living right now, Kim Jong in?

I thought I was living my life properly with the help of soo jung, but no, I was lied to.

i thought Jong dae truly intended to reconcile, but no, he was playing with me.

Take me away right now, God.

I don't have anything worth stopping me from coming to you, not anymore, God.

The woman I loved betrayed me.

My own brother betrayed me.

My feelings for them were all fake.

So why am I still on this earth?

Take me away.