"They say that time heals all wounds but all its done so far is give me more time to think about how much I miss you."

                                                                                                                  By Ezbeth Wilder                

^^SHINHYE'S POV^^

WHY IS LIFE SO COMPLICATED??

I LOVE HIM BUT I HATE HIM FOR HURTING ME.

I KNOW SEEING HIM WILL HURT LIKE HELL, BUT I CAN'T STOP WISHING TO SEE HIM ONE MORE TIME...JUST ONCE.

I KNOW HE WILL NEVER BE MINE....BUT I CAN'T STOP WISHING FOR IT.

I thought that running away will help. I thought that if I escape from all the things that reminds me of him, maybe then I will be able to forget him. So I came to Busan. To start a new life. A life without him. I know I won't be happy in this life, but I won't be hurt as well.

But everything went in vain. Now I have realized forgetting him is not an option. Moving on is just out of question.

I am sitting here, at the beach. Its still early in the morning. This is my new habit. To stare at the calm morning sea. It seems as exhausted as me.

I TRIED A LOT.

I TRIED TO MAKE THE MARRIAGE WORK.

I TRIED TO MAKE HIM LOVE ME.

I TRIED TO HOLD ON.

I TRIED TO MOVE ON.

But fate had some other plans for me. So now i am tired.

I AM TIRED OF FIGHTING WITH MY FATE.

I AM TIRED OF FIGHTING MY FEELINGS.

I AM TIRED OF TRYING TO SMILE.

So I have decided to be like the waves of the sea. JUST GO WITH THE FLOW!!!!

"Yes, I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever.But I know its not for the best. So, no matter how much my heart is going to break, I have got to let him go. So, he can know just how much I love him. Maybe if I am lucky, he will come back, but if not, I can make it through this."-------This is what i said to my omma, when I left seoul.

WELL....I AM SURVIVING!!

I have got air in my lungs. Food down there, rotting somewhere in the intestine. I have got blood in my veins. And I have got this BROKEN HEART of mine. I AM GOOD. 

Its just that I forgot how to smile. I don't remember how to live. And life here is very boring.