kai/kris

EXO Text Message AUs

get away from me

jongin just wants to finish writing his essay but yifan has other ideas. anatasha12's request: "Um I'm requesting Kris Kai with Kris trying to get into Kai's pants. ┬┴┬┴┤(・_├┬┴┬┴ " (also calling this pairing krai b/c cry)

 


 

 

From: galaxy hyung

hey

 

To: galaxy hyung

oh hi hyung wassup

 

To: galaxy hyung

im rly busy rite now i need to write this essay for lit could u text me later

 

From: galaxy hyung

one thing first

 

To: galaxy hyung

god what

 

From: galaxy hyung

i'm not god but i could be your guardian angel

 

To: galaxy hyung

what the hell

 

From: galaxy hyung

speaking of angels, did you fall from heaven? because you're, like, a celestial entity.

 

To: galaxy hyung

hyung

 

From: galaxy hyung

like a star. u are a star, jongin.

 

To: galaxy hyung

thx hyung but im rly busy rite now could u leave me alone

 

From: galaxy hyung

i cant

 

To: galaxy hyung

why the hell not

 

From: galaxy hyung

you are like a magnet, jongin. i am drawn to u

 

To: galaxy hyung

hyung wtf

 

To: soo hyung, sehunerd, chenerd, luhanerd, junmom, tao, [...]

guys im in a predicament

 

From: sehunerd

is your brain big enough to know the meaning of the word predicament

 

To: sehunerd

shut ur mouth, oh

 

To: soo hyung, baekhyunerd, tao, junmom, lay hyung, chanyell, [...]

anyway. kris hyung is sending me rly bad pickup lines someone help

 

From: luhanerd

LMAO

 

From: luhanerd

KRIS

 

From: baekhyunerd

jongin....................... idc

 

To: luhanerd, baekhyunerd

thx

 

From: chenerd

wow. he's actually doing it.

 

To: chenerd

doing what???

 

From: chenerd

last night he said he would be able to get in ur pants at least once before he dies

 

To: chenerd

but that's probably a long way off hes only lik 24 and im lik 21

 

To: chenerd

and what am i some kind of conquest

 

From: chenerd

yeah

 

From: chenerd

that and kris has had like the biggest crush on you for two years

 

From: chenerd

oops did i just spill his secret

 

From: chenerd

whatever idc

 

To: selected contacts [collapsed]

wait kris likes me???

 

From: galaxy hyung

are your legs made of nutella?

 

To: galaxy hyung

if ur gonna make another dark joke about my skin consider urself dead

 

From: galaxy hyung

because i'd love to spread them ;)

 

To: galaxy hyung

pls stop

 

From: soo hyung

I thought it was obvious tht he liked you?

 

To: soo hyung

hyung save me

 

From: galaxy hyung

do u work for ups?

 

From: tao

jongin!!! what kind of pickup lines??

 

From: galaxy hyung

because i could've sworn u were checking out my package

 

To: galaxy hyung

hyung we live 10 mins away from each other that is not possible

 

To: tao

pickup lines that are so bad i feel embarrassed knowing him

 

From: tao

ohhh.... those kinds of pickup lines. have fun jonginnie!!!

 

From: galaxy hyung

are u on a track team?

 

To: galaxy hyung

..no hyung. i dance

 

From: galaxy hyung

cuz i heard that u "relay" want my d

 

To: galaxy hyung

smh

 

From: luhanerd

how is it with kris?? is he still going strong?

 

To: luhanerd

unfortunately

 

From: lay hyung

hes probably taking the pickup lines from the internet dont worry he'll run out of steam soon

 

To: lay hyung

._.

 

From: galaxy hyung

you remind of a wrench, every time i think of you my nuts tighten up

 

To: galaxy hyung

is it rly tht easy 2 get u hard

 

From: galaxy hyung

no

 

To: galaxy hyung

hm

 

To: selected contacts [collapsed]

when will he evr stop

 

From: chanyell

XD

 

To: chanyell

ur dead 2 me

 

From: baekhyunerd

go away i do 't want to hear about your kris

 

To: baekhyunerd

u hyung

 

From: baekhyunerd

whatever!! idc!! i'm trying to have some alone time with my chenchen but you keep sending me texts!! stop!!

 

To: baekhyunerd

ok ok i get it calm down

 

baekhyunerd has been removed from selected contacts.

 

To: chenerd

i dont think baekhyun wants me to talk to you

 

From: chenerd

ummm well the chirping sound his phone makes when u text any of us rly gets in the way of some good times, so

 

To: chenerd

ew

 

chenerd has been removed from selected contacts.

 

From: galaxy hyung

are you from iraq?

 

To: galaxy hyung

my name is kim jongin i was born in south korea to korean parents i speak korean i look korean my name is korean and i am korean what the are u trying to play at

 

From: galaxy hyung

b/c i like the way u baghdad up ;)

 

To: galaxy hyung

get away from me

 

To: selected contacts [collapsed]

i hate this i hate kris i have a lit essay to finish

 

From: luhanerd

lmao

 

From: sehunerd

just do the do wit him and get it over with he isnt that bad looking

 

To: luhanerd

u are the least helpful person ever did u kno that

 

To: sehunerd

shut ur mouth, oh

 

From: galaxy hyung

do u know ur abc's?

 

To: galaxy hyung

i kno my hangul? and abc's too i guess im not that stupid but then again i never lived in canada

 

From: galaxy hyung

because i wanna give u the 4th letter of the alphabet

 

To: galaxy hyung

u wanna give me a ㄹ?

 

To: galaxy hyung

oh, d

 

To: galaxy hyung

that was a bad line btw

 

To: galaxy hyung

u need to step up ur game

 

From: minseok hyung

So how goes

 

To: minseok hyung

terribly

 

To: selected contacts [collapsed]

when will he evr run out of bad pickup lines

 

From: chanyell

XD

 

To: chanyell

STOP

 

From: tao

ge never gives up on ppl he likes! !

 

To: tao

dear lord

 

From: tao

but dont u like ge too????

 

To: tao

well

 

From: tao

u do!!!

 

To: tao

idk i do think hes hot but the whole commitment thing is new for me

 

From: minseok hyung

He just texted me to ask if I knew any good picku up lines

 

From: tao

i know feelings are hard but u need to realize what u want!!!!!!

 

To: minseok hyung

a good pickup line would be "hi jongin im sorry for the last ten minutes i will leave u alone now so u can finish ur lit essay goodbye have a nice day"

 

To: tao

yea

 

minseok hyung forwarded you a message.

From: kris

that's a lame pickup line

 

From: minseok hyung

凸^-^凸

 

To: minseok hyung

(−_−;)

 

From: junmom

Whoops, sorry! Seems like I just saw your messages now, I was busy working.

 

To: junmom

i am 2!!!!!! but kris wont leave me alone

 

From: junmom

Have you tried asking him nicely?

 

To: junmom

wtf hyung

 

From: junmom

Have you tried bribing him to go away?

 

To: junmom

is tht what u do

 

From: junmom

Of course.

 

To: junmom

damn

 

To: junmom

can u lend me some money

 

From; junmom

No.

 

To: junmom

man u

 

From; galaxy hyung

ok ok how bout this

 

From: galaxy hyung

are you kim jongin? because you’re cute and i’ve liked you for forever and i want to be your boyfriend

 

To: selected contacts [collapsed]

damn he got me good

 

From: galaxy hyung

okay i said it. i like you. all of this was a front, i’m not usually this forward and when i ask somebody out, i’m never this confident. or dirty.

 

From: galaxy hyung

yeah

 

To: galaxy hyung

are u kris wu yifan bc ur hot and lets go out for coffee tomorrow

 

From: galaxy hyung

wait really?

 

From: galaxy hyung

but it’s july it’s too hot for coffee

 

To: galaxy hyung

shhhh. bubble tea then. without sehun

 

From: galaxy hyung

alright

 

To: galaxy hyung

i’ll text u

 

From: galaxy hyung

okay. meanwhile, i’ll be chillin in my galaxy world, waiting for u

 

To: galaxy hyung

dont say that u sound gross

 

From: galaxy hyung

:(

 

To: selected contacts [...]

ok ok i accepted his feels

 

To: sehunerd

u better not show up at the cafe 2morrow

 

From: sehunerd

what why not i need my daily dose of bubble tea

 

To: sehunerd

i have a hot date

 

From: sehunerd

 

To: sehunerd

B)








 


 

 

 

 

 

 

i tried really hard omfg im sorry

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Comments

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imagine_elena #1
Chapter 3: Same. I would buy a Lee Jongsuk too.
babybin
#2
Chapter 12: I NEED MORE JONDAE PAIRINGS IN MY LIFE. PLZ
Mussaayy #3
Chapter 12: I need more of sekai fghjgghhjhfggjbvc
TheTopMadam
#4
Chapter 12: You're a freaking genius
Katoptris
#5
Chapter 3: Aww haha Luchen are so cute~ Hahaha poor Jongdae though xD
alicemusic666 #6
Chapter 11: OMG!!!! I love chantao or taoyeol!
aee_eusebio
#7
Chapter 12: Oh my God rofl poor you Krissss (I don't but I can't let it go,,Sehun ignored his texts lmao)
and Chen lol he kinda didn't expect that XD

I wanna know what name Tao saved for the members in his phone:3
strangeneko
#8
Chapter 12: LMAO !!!!!! XDDDDDDDDDDDD
Ohmygod you should really write a lot of sekai as a couple, idiot couple to be exact XDDDDD
strangeneko
#9
Chapter 11: LOLOLOL the sudden reply 1997 and its casts XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

And tao wow you're so mean i totes like you XDDDD

And that satan duo, sekai XDDD
And minseok yes i knew your concern XDD
Hayleywill #10
Chapter 12: Wooow, you fullfill my request :)) thank you very much authornim ;D
Btw about Sekai chapter, will there be a continuation for Han and Jongdae part?? I want to see Jongdae frustation and give up eventually