wtf is a brozone

sehun's life is so hard and he's liked his best friend for four years wtf. (for Cloudsungie's request)

 

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To: loser

hey jongin you wanna come over and play games or somethin

 

From: loser

Sorry, Sehun, I'm going to the mall with Han hyung. Maybe on Saturday?

 

To: loser

...........that's like three days away. why not tomorrow

 

From: loser

Oh haha because I'm going to Han hyung's new apartment to help him unpack his stuff and move furniture around. He even said he'd buy me bubble tea after :)

 

To: loser

i thought kyungsoo hyung is his new roommate can't he help han hyung

 

From: loser

I already said I was gonna help, Sehun. Let's hang out some other time, yeah?

 

To: [selected contacts]

but, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

 

From: jongdae

it is the east, and juliet is the sun

 

To: [selected contacts]

my heart. sehun's heart. breaks.

 

From: jongdae

wth your heart isn't a light

 

From: kyungsoo

but, soft! shakespeare does not care about your broken heart

 

From: kyungsoo

and neither do i

 

To: jongdae, kyungsoo

-___________-

 

From: kyungsoo

ok fine i do care a little

 

From: kyungsoo

probably not shakespeare, tho. he is dead.

 

From: chanyodel

:( I’m sorry, lil bud. Wanna talk about it?

 

To: chanyodel

no u called me lil bud

 

From: chanyodel

I WAS TRYING TO SOUND KIND AND BROTHERLY

 

From: yixing

wait u have a heart?

 

To: chanyodel

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

From: baekhyun

What’s your problem this time?

 

To: [selected contacts]

how long have han and jongin been going out

 

From: baekhyun

They’re dating?

 

From: kyungsoo

wait. whta

 

From: minseok

ask everyone but the 2 people in question, why dont you

 

To: [selected contacts]

i mean... im pretty sure they are, they're spending so much time together and everything.......

 

From: jongdae

wait a minute. are you. jealous???

 

From: yixing

has anyone ever told u that ur kind of stupid

 

To: yixing

pls save that for chanyeol hyung

 

From: yixing

haha !

 

From: yixing

ur kind of stupid

To: yixing

-_____-

 

From: kevin

theyre dating?/

 

To: jongdae

no!!!!

 

To: jongdae

ok well maybe a little :/

 

From: baekhyun

How do you know they’re dating?

 

To: [selected contacts]

jongin’s spending all of his free time with han hyung instead of me and we’re always together. they have to be dating

 

From: chanyodel

Wow, Jongin just brozoned you.

 

To: chanyodel

stop talking to me why do you keep talking to me don’t do it jsut sto;p

 

From: chanyodel

:-(

 

From: tao

I thought Jongin was dating you

 

To; tao

unfortunately we’re not

 

To: minseok

hyung are u crazy i can’t ask them myself!!!!!!!!!

 

From: minseok

well you asked the rest of us and probably stalked jongin’s & han’s facebook profiles to see if you could come up with any dirt.

 

To: minseok

damn

 

From: kevin

are they rly datinf?

 

To: minseok

how did u get so good at this

 

From: minseok

i work as a police detective

 

From: minseok

and also you’re a predictable lil

 

To: minseok

-_-

 

From: baekhyun

Are you sure this isn’t all a big misunderstanding?

 

To: baekhyun

what is there to misunderstand

 

From: baekhyun

Um. Everything.

 

From: kevin

jongin n han are dating????

 

From: jongdae

wait so you’re saying you’re jealous of han because he’s dating the guy you like?

 

To: jongdae

um yeah obv

 

From: jongdae

all that aside

 

From: jongdae

why would anyone be jealous of han. he’s. han.

 

From: jongdae

han is like. the kind of guy who spits out his gum on the sidewalk so the unfortunate who walks by steps in it and has to endure sticky steps for the rest of the day. han is the kind of guy who would accidentally snap chanyeol’s guitar strings and then blame it in kyungsoo. han is the kind of guy who would rip the sticker off your snapbacks. han is :-/

 

To: jongdae

BUT HE’S DATING /JONGIN/

 

To: jongdae

AKA THE GUY I’VE BEEN CRUSHING ON SINCE YEAR 11

 

To: jongdae

FOUR YEARS, HYUNG. /FOUR/

 

From: jongdae

ok jeez chill

 

From: jongdae

i need to start praying for the poor kid, if he’s dating han then he’ll end up moving back to his mother’s house for protection very soon

 

To: jongdae

hyung ur missing the point

 

From: jongdae

trust me. im not

 

From: junmyeon

Hmm

 

To: junmyeon

what does tht mean

 

From: kevin

no rly are they 2gether

 

From: junmyeon

It means you’re dumb and you’re thinking way too far outside the box and you need to #checkyourself and realize you’re taking things too literally.

 

To: junmyeon

speak korean pls i have no idea wht u jus wrote

 

From: junmyeon

Forget it! I’ll just let you wallow in your own miserable fantasy. Just keep in mind Jongin may reciprocate what you feel.

 

To: junmyeon

what

 

From: kevin

OH SEHUN why do u keep ignoring mw

 

To: kevin

because idc about u

 

From: kevin

!!!!! you finally answered!!

 

From: kevin

wait a minute

 

From: kevin

HEY

 

From: kevin

OH SEHUN

 

From: han

Uh

 

From: han

Sehun

 

To: han

wHAT

 

From: han

I have a favor to ask

 

To: han

what

 

From: han

Well it seems to me that you know all your hyungs very well and you have a very good sense of style, so

 

To: han

flattery doesn’t work on me what do u want

 

From: han

Do you know what kind of clothes Jongdae would like??

 

To: han

……………………….what

 

From: han

AggGHHhH. Or like. A gift that Jongdae would find useful??

 

From: han

You know his birthday is coming up and I’m planning to ask him out on a date or something, haha.

 

From: han

Okay, yes, I like him.

 

From: han

Sehun?

 

To: han

u. u like jongdae hyung??

 

From: han

Er. Yeah.

 

To: han

but?/??

 

To: han

????????????????????????????????????????????????//

 

From: han

Yeah, lol, I know, he thinks I’m from the lowest level of hell. But I still like him. And I really want to snag dinner with him some time.

 

To: han

oooo hoOOLY S HITT

 

From: han

Is it that surprising?

 

To: [selected contacts]

WHAT THE HELEL LE  HELLL HELL

 

From: junmyeon

Did any revelations spark from your cardboard box of a brain?

 

From: jongdae

huh

 

To: jongdae

hey if han hyung asks u for dinner and gives u a nice gift pls accept both he needs to be out of the market

 

From: jongdae

wait wtf

 

To: loser

JONNGING

 

From: loser

Um.

 

To: loser

i would rather tell u all this in person but

1. u have a nice smile ! very nice. very cute i loev it

2. i like you?? a lot???

3. i’ve liked you since year 11?

4. ur hot

 

To: loser

that could’ve been worded better but u get it, right??

 

From: loser

I. Um.

 

From: loser

Yeah.

 

To: loser

yeah?

 

From: loser

1. I think you’re hot too??

2. I’ve liked you since year 10

3. Your smile is cuter than mine :)

 

To: loser

do u wanna. i mean. do you think we could. date. maybe. like. be boyfriends.

 

To: loser

i mean we both think each other’s hot and we both have hopeless crushes on each other so it only makes sense that we date

 

From: loser

#tru

 

From: loser

I’d rather call you “baby” than “Sehun,” anyway.

 

From: loser

:)

 

To: [selected contacts]

i am a new person! i feel reborn!! thank u god that han hyung has the hots for jongdae hyung!!!!!

 

From: jongdae

wTF

 

To: han

oh btw i can go shopping w you tomorrow to pick out stuff for jongdae hyung cool cool ok bye

 

From: han

Jongdae just sent me an angry text with a lot of capitals and punctuation marks.

 

From: han

Oh Sehun you’re ing dead.

 

From: han

After you help me pick out his gift.

hahahahahahhh um