chen/luhan

EXO Text Message AUs

ebay is better than boyfriends

Jongdae hates Flappy Bird, his friends, Han (whom he unfortunately calls his significant other), but ebay could be an exception.

for shaddup's luchen request


 

 

 

To: han

AAAAAAAHGGGGGH ME UP THE ASSSS

 

From: han

again?? i thought you were sore from last night, you insatiable beast

 

To: han

STFU HAN IM TALKIN ABOUT FLAPPY BIRD WHO THE DECIDED THIS GAME WAS A GOOD IDEA

 

To: han

MY SCORE IS ONLY 5

 

To: han

 

From: han

lol chenchen bb, calm down. want me to come over?

 

To: han

why

 

From: han

so i can steal ur phone and beat your high score and then have rly awesome

 

To: han

you, sir, are a danger to my pride and most importantly my .

 

From: han

your is more important than your pride?

 

To: han

lu han do not come over

 

From: han

tbh though with an like yours why wouldn't it be lololOL

 

To: han

don't come over

 

To: han

ever

 

From: han

:((((

 

To: zitao, kyungsoo, jongannoying, kevin, junmoney, yixing, [...]

two questions: what's your flappy bird score and where can i find a new boyfriend

 

From: byuntae

99 and idk look on ebay

 

To: byuntae

99 are you ing kidding me how is that even possible

 

To: byuntae

wait wtf baekhyun i can’t find a new boyfriend on ebay

 

From: byuntae

you can find anything on ebay

 

From: zitao

omg ge!!1! that game is so frustrating! i only got a 38 T.T

 

To: zitao

“only”????

 

From: kyungsoo

I don’t waste my time on games. If you want a boyfriend just go to a club and get someone drunk

 

To: kyungsoo

why do i have to get them drunk

 

From: kyungsoo

because no one in their right mind would fall for you when they’re sober

 

From: zitao

ge!! i know lots of friends from china who are looking for bfs!!

 

To: kyungsoo

off

 

To: byuntae

is ebay where you found kyungsoo and if so why did you purchase him

 

From: zitao

but they all think u look like a dinosaur so those relationships probably wont work out!!! u need to find someone who thinks u look like a beautiful rose instead of a t-rex!!

 

From: junmoney

What’s Flappy Bird? A game? And I suppose I could set you up on blind dates.

 

To: junmoney

wow. hyung ur so boring

 

From: junmoney

That hurts, Jongdae.

 

To: junmoney

whatevr

 

To: zitao

thanks tao, i’ll keep that in mind.

 

From: byuntae

that wasnt very nice

 

From: chanyeol

lol i’m staying far away from that . yifan hasnt stopped playing it, though. hes tryna pass his high score of 186

 

To: chanyeol

is he even human

 

From: chanyeol

idk. tastes like one tho

 

To: chanyeol

oookaaaayyy i’m not even going to ask

 

From: chanyeol

yea u probably shouldn’t

 

From: jongannoying

go to a coffee shop & fall in love over americanos & have marshmallow flavored kisses

 

To: jongannoying

what do you think this is, a drama

 

To: jongannoying

also wtf since when are you so… gross

 

From: jongannoying

also i got 47 at flappy bird hahhhh er

 

To: jongannoying

have u always been this gross??? was i missing something all these years???

 

From: thehun

hyuuuunggg, your text made me lose the game!! i was at 35 :((

 

To: thehun

u deserved it

 

From: thehun

i hope u find a new boyf in the trash

 

From: minseok

sehun just slammed the door to the bedroom and i have a feeling it has something to do with you

 

To: minseok

nah ur boyfriend is just a sensitive hhh

 

From: minseok

i don’t play flappy bird and if you ever get a new boyfriend i’m going to run him through with a spear

 

From: yixing

i hate this gam.e

 

To: yixing

man ikr

 

From: yixing

and what’s wrong with han??

 

From: yixing

oh wait nvm

 

To: yixing

what

 

From: yixing

well i just remembered that everything is wrong with your boyfriend

 

To: yixing

ur infuriating

 

To: yixing

and also entirely right

 

To: yixing

what’s your flappy bird score

 

From: yixing

10

 

To: yixing

ur infuriating

 

From: han

what’s this i hear from baekhyun that you’re buying a new boyfriend from ebay to replace me???/

 

To: han

wha t

 

From: han

NO ONE CAN REPLACE ME

 

From: han

JONGDAE U WOULDN’T DO THIS 2 ME

 

From: han

RIGHT

 

To: han

eh idk. it depends.

 

To: han

what’s your flappy bird score

 

From: han

41

 

To: han

i’m gonna go see if they’re selling lee jongsuk on ebay

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

do u hate me yet

don't download flappy bird

i would bid one million dollars for lee jongsuk

//laughs 20 million times

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Comments

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imagine_elena #1
Chapter 3: Same. I would buy a Lee Jongsuk too.
babybin
#2
Chapter 12: I NEED MORE JONDAE PAIRINGS IN MY LIFE. PLZ
Mussaayy #3
Chapter 12: I need more of sekai fghjgghhjhfggjbvc
TheTopMadam
#4
Chapter 12: You're a freaking genius
Katoptris
#5
Chapter 3: Aww haha Luchen are so cute~ Hahaha poor Jongdae though xD
alicemusic666 #6
Chapter 11: OMG!!!! I love chantao or taoyeol!
aee_eusebio
#7
Chapter 12: Oh my God rofl poor you Krissss (I don't but I can't let it go,,Sehun ignored his texts lmao)
and Chen lol he kinda didn't expect that XD

I wanna know what name Tao saved for the members in his phone:3
strangeneko
#8
Chapter 12: LMAO !!!!!! XDDDDDDDDDDDD
Ohmygod you should really write a lot of sekai as a couple, idiot couple to be exact XDDDDD
strangeneko
#9
Chapter 11: LOLOLOL the sudden reply 1997 and its casts XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

And tao wow you're so mean i totes like you XDDDD

And that satan duo, sekai XDDD
And minseok yes i knew your concern XDD
Hayleywill #10
Chapter 12: Wooow, you fullfill my request :)) thank you very much authornim ;D
Btw about Sekai chapter, will there be a continuation for Han and Jongdae part?? I want to see Jongdae frustation and give up eventually