Ten minutes. He’d spent ten minutes hovering outside the door. He’d walked away from it twice in that time only to walk right back to it before he worked up the courage to ring the doorbell. Because as much as he wanted to see Baekhyun, as much as he’d missed him Kris knew there was every chance that Baekhyun wouldn’t want to see him. He knew he’d have to accept it, if Baekhyun decided to turn him away he had no right to argue that decision, not when he was the one who’d ended things between them in the first place but that wasn’t going to make handling the rejection any easier. It would still sting. But if there was even the slightest chance of Baekhyun forgiving him then that was a risk he was willing to take. Leaving knowing that Baekhyun wanted nothing more to do with him wasn’t something he wanted to think about but it would be better than leaving and never knowing what might have happened if he’d mustered up the courage to admit he’d made a mistake.

And he was planning to admit to that mistake as soon as the door opened, he wanted to get the words out before Baekhyun had a chance to tell him to leave. If Baekhyun still wanted him to go after hearing his apology then fine, he would go but he wanted the chance to explain himself first. But when the door did finally swing open that plan went right out the window. He hadn’t seen Baekhyun in months and there he was, standing right in front of him. At the sight of him his well-rehearsed apology deserted him. His hair was mussed, his eyes slightly puffy, he was wearing sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt that swamped him completely. It was his t-shirt Kris realised. Baekhyun was standing in front of him, bleary eyed and half asleep and he was wearing his t-shirt. It brought back so many memories, of curling up on the couch after a long day at work with Baekhyun tucked under his arm and using his chest as a pillow; of lazy Sunday mornings, neither of them wanting to move and revelling in the fact that they didn’t have to; of waking up on a weekday and finding the other side of the bed empty only to walk in on Baekhyun in the kitchen making them both coffee, of Baekhyun spotting him in the doorway and his face lighting up, of Baekhyun saying good morning with a kiss. He wanted to go back to those days so badly. He wanted to pull Baekhyun close and keep him there. But he didn’t think that would be appreciated. If you wanted to describe the look on Baekhyun’s face shock didn’t quite cover it. His eyes had widened, his face had paled; it was as if he’d just seen a ghost.

As surprised as he was though Baekhyun was still the first one to pull himself together. “You’re supposed to be in China.” It sounded like an accusation more than a statement.

Since he hadn’t let Baekhyun know he was coming Kris supposed that was understandable. “I had some leave to take.” He explained.

“And you came here.” Baekhyun said not looking any less confused.

“I came here.” He’d dropped his bags off at the hotel then immediately jumped in a taxi. He’d been working his way up to this apology for weeks now, there was no point in waiting around.

“Why would you do that?” Baekhyun asked. “I already told you, I can’t do it, I can’t do the friends thing. I tried to but I can’t. I can’t just forget what we…”

“I know.” Kris said quickly. He could hear the hurt in Baekhyun’s voice as he talked and he hated it. “I know, I’m not here to ask if we can be friends. Thinking that we could go back to that was naïve of me, it was wishful thinking.”

“Then why are you here?” was Baekhyun’s next question.

It wasn’t a complicated question but Kris found himself chewing on his bottom lip as he tried to think up the best way to answer. Baekhyun could be unpredictable at the best of times so he had no idea what his reaction was going to be. “I’m halfway through my six month probationary period.” Is how he chose to start.

Baekhyun just hummed and nodded for him to continue, twisting the hem of his t-shirt in one hand.

“At the end of those six months, if management feel I’m not right for the job they can say so.” They wouldn’t, he was good at his job, they’d want to keep him, he knew that but that wasn’t important. What was important was what he was going to say next. “But it isn’t a one way thing.” He carried on, the words spilling from him in a rush. “If I feel like it’s not the right job for me then I can say so too, no repercussions. I’ll still get a reference, a good one hopefully.”

“But… that doesn’t… you…” Baekhyun stuttered out, not believing what he was hearing, “… you said it was something you couldn’t pass up. It’s your dream job. And the money…”

 “The money doesn’t matter.” It had never been about the money. “When the six months are up I’m coming back to Korea.”

Baekhyun violently shook his head. “What happened to once in a lifetime? You can’t… you’re not supposed to….” He stopped, his expression clearing as if something had just occurred to him. “Oh my god. You know. You know, don’t you?”

“Know what?” Kris asked, his brow furrowing in confusion as Baekhyun’s eyes narrowed.

Baekhyun answered him with a question of his own. “Who told you? Was it Chanyeol?”

“Chanyeol?” Chanyeol hadn’t told him anything. He’d spoken to him maybe twice in the three months he’d been in China. Chanyeol and Baekhyun had been friends long before Kris had met either of them so it was no wonder things were a little strained between them. But Chanyeol hadn’t cut ties with him entirely, that was something at least.

“He did!” Baekhyun exclaimed, colour rising in his cheeks as he got ever angrier. “That little ! I said I’d deal with it. He promised me he wouldn’t tell you, he ing promised me. I’m going to…”

From the look on Baekhyun’s his face Kris was guessing whatever it was he was going to do to his best friend wouldn’t be pretty but he didn’t let him finish the sentence. “Chanyeol didn’t tell me anything.”

Baekhyun stopped mid-rant, his mouth hanging opening as he tried to process what Kris had just told him. “Then Kyungsoo?” He said at last.

“Kyungsoo didn’t tell me anything either.” He spoke to Kyungsoo more than he spoke to Chanyeol but whenever he asked about Baekhyun the only answer Kyungsoo ever gave was “If you want to know how he is then ask him yourself” which was easier said than done.

“Oh.” Baekhyun breathed, the wind knocked out of his sails completely. “Oh. So you don’t know?”

Kris shook his head. He had no idea what Baekhyun was talking about and yes, he was curious but finding out could wait. He had something to say first.

“Then why are you coming back?”

And that was the perfect opening. “Because I miss Seoul.” He said deciding to start out safe. He hadn’t realised how much he’d miss it until he’d left. He’d never meant it to be a permanent thing, he’d moved to Seoul to study that was all, he’d always meant to go back home. Somehow that hadn’t happened, somehow he’d ended up with a job and an apartment and friends. And Baekhyun. And going home had been put on the backburner. And then the job in Beijing had come up and yeah Beijing wasn’t home but neither was Seoul and like Baekhyun had said it would have been stupid to pass that kind of opportunity up so he’d gone to the interview. He hadn’t expected to be offered the job but he had. Seoul wasn’t home he told himself again, and he and Baekhyun had only been dating six months, living together for two. They were happy but they hadn't been together long enough to know if that happiness would last. It certainly wouldn’t have lasted if they’d tried a long distance relationship like Baekhyun had suggested, long distance never worked. So he’d said ‘let’s be friends’. He’d taken the job. He’d moved to Beijing. He’d been miserable.

“You miss Seoul.” Baekhyun echoed flatly.

“I miss my friends.” He added next. He missed Chanyeol’s laugh, he missed Jongdae’s constant teasing, he missed Kyungsoo scolding him for not eating properly. “I made friends in Beijing, of course I did. And they’re nice people but it’s not the same.”

“Is that why you’re here? To warn me you’ll be hanging around with our friends again?”  Baekhyun asked. “Is it because you don’t want it to be awkward?”

“No, that’s not it.” It really wasn’t. Yes he’d missed them and yes he didn’t want things to be awkward but as much as he’d missed Chanyeol and Jongdae and Kyungsoo, well he’d missed Baekhyun more. No matter how busy he was, no matter what he did to distract himself, he hadn’t been able to forget what he’d left behind. “I just wanted to say that I know I was stupid. We were good together, we were happy and I acted like that didn’t matter. I chose Beijing over you. I hurt you. And I’m not asking you to forgive me for that, not when I can’t forgive myself but I wanted you to know that I’m sorry.”

“Right.” Baekhyun said his expression thoughtful. And that was all he said.

“I missed you.” Kris told him, breaking the silence.

Baekhyun looking at him, he was holding eye contact but he didn’t respond .

“I missed you.” Kris repeated, trying to garner some kind of reaction. He didn’t care what kind of reaction it was, Baekhyun could curse at him and tell him to leave if he wanted to. He just wanted him to say something. The way he was staring at him was really disconcerting.

Still no response.

Well if ‘I missed you’ wasn’t working then maybe he should try something else. It might not have been part of the plan but it wasn’t as if anything else he’d said had been part of the plan either.

“I love you.”

And there it was. It wasn’t something he’d ever said to Baekhyun before. It wasn’t something he’d realised until he’d moved to Beijing and found that Baekhyun was all he could think about. It wasn’t just that he’d been attracted to Baekhyun, it wasn’t just that they were friends and got on well, if that was all it was he’d have been able to put their relationship behind him. It was love he realised, he’d grown to love him, that’s why moving on had been so hard to do. He didn’t know if Baekhyun felt the same way, it didn’t really matter if he did or not. He loved him and he wanted him to know. He just hoped Baekhyun didn’t hate him for it. Not that he’d blame him if he did, he’d been the one to break them up. He wouldn’t have much sympathy for him either.

But Baekhyun didn’t yell at him or curse at him, he didn’t tell him he hated him either. Instead he said “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh.” Of all the responses he’d imagined that hadn’t been one of them. And then what Baekhyun had actually said to him sunk in. “You found someone else.” He said, realisation dawning. “That’s why Kyungsoo wouldn’t tell me how you were when I asked. You’d moved on and I hadn’t and he didn’t want to say.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry for bothering you.” Kris told him, he wished the ground would just swallow him up. Of course Baekhyun had found someone else. How could he not have? “And congratulations I guess, I hope you’re happy together.” They’d moved fast, they couldn’t have been together more than a couple of months and now they had a baby on the way. But if Baekhyun was happy then that was a good thing, wasn’t it? That’s what love was, wanting the people you care about to be happy.

“You’re an idiot.” Baekhyun said, disbelief evident in his voice. “A complete idiot. Do you really think I could have gotten over you so quickly?”

Kris didn’t know what it was Baekhyun was trying to say. Why was he talking about not getting over him? He hadn’t been pregnant when Kris left and now he was, someone else must have been involved in that. “But you’re pregnant… you can’t be pregnant without… wait… was it a one night stand?” Maybe that’s why he’d looked so worried telling him, he didn’t want to be judged for making a mistake.

“No!” Baekhyun exclaimed, clearly frustrated. “No, it was not a one night stand.”

“Then if it wasn’t…” If it wasn’t a one night stand and Baekhyun didn’t have a boyfriend then…

“It was a goodbye present from you to me, that’s what it was.” Baekhyun said with a sigh. “I found out about a week after you left.”

It was his. Baekhyun was pregnant and the baby was his. “And you didn’t tell me?” he said as he tried to get his head around that fact. He’d been gone three months and Baekhyun had known nearly all of that time. Why hadn’t he told him? They weren’t a couple any more but he wasn’t a bad person, he’d never mistreated him. And it was his baby too, even if Baekhyun wanted nothing more to do with him he had a right to know about it.

And Baekhyun suddenly looked sheepish. “Well, when I first found out I considered getting rid of it.” He admitted, avoiding eye contact. “I mean there was the money aspect, babies are expensive you know. But mainly I didn’t know if I was ready, if I’d be a good enough parent. I didn’t know if having the baby would be fair to the baby or not.” He explained.

“But you decided to keep it.” Kris said focussing on that rather than on the way his stomach was turning at the idea of Baekhyun getting rid of their baby. The baby he’d known about for less than ten minutes but that he could imagine already. His son or his daughter. He wondered if he or she would look more like Baekhyun or more like him. He’d always wanted kids, he’d always seen them in his future, wherever he ended up and whoever he ended up with. And now being a parent; that was going to be a reality for him. It was overwhelming.

“I did. I mean, it’s not like it’s the baby’s fault that it’s here.” He said with a shrug, his hand going to rest on his stomach. “That was all us.”

Kris hadn’t noticed before, the t-shirt Baekhyun was wearing really was huge and it wasn’t as if he’d had any reason to look for it, but now Baekhyun had his hand on his stomach he could see it, the slight bump hidden under the fabric. Thinking back to last time they’d been together, working the dates out in his head, well the fact Baekhyun was showing shouldn’t have surprised him. He must be at least be at least four months pregnant. But seeing the roundness of Baekhyun’s stomach for himself, well it was physical proof, it made things that much more real. “So…” Kris said, blinking and trying to get back on track, “… you decided to keep the baby and you still didn’t tell me?”

“I was going to!” Baekhyun insisted, hand still on his stomach and his stance defensive. “I just didn’t want to tell you too soon. I wanted you to get settled in Beijing first. I didn’t want you to come rushing back. I know you, I know you would have, all set on doing the right thing. I didn’t want you to give up your job for me and regret it.”

Baekhyun was right. As soon as he’d found out he was pregnant he’d have packed his bags and been on a flight to Korea. But that didn’t make him feel any better about not being the first to know. Baekhyun had been worried that Chanyeol or Kyungsoo had told him which meant Chanyeol and Kyungsoo both knew about it. He guessed Baekhyun had had to tell someone and wasn’t as if he’d have been able to hide it forever but it was still hard to take. “I wouldn’t have regretted it.” He said, trying not to let it get to him. “Baekhyun, that’s my baby you’re carrying. It’s my son or my daughter. No job could compete with that.”

“Yeah, yeah I get that.” Baekhyun said, sounding apologetic. “But that was another thing. If you’d come back and told me you wanted to go back to how we were I’d have jumped at the chance. But it wouldn’t have been the right thing to do, I’d be doing it because I didn’t want to be on my own and you’d be doing it for the baby not for me and…”

And Kris had to interrupt because what Baekhyun was saying was all wrong. “Who says it wouldn’t have been for you?”

“You broke up with me.” Baekhyun reminded him. “You didn’t want me.”

Of course he’d wanted him, he’d just tried to convince himself he’d wanted the job in Beijing more. “I already told you, taking that job and leaving you behind, it was stupid.”

Baekhyun shook his head. “You’re just saying that so I don’t try and send you away. But you don’t have to worry about that, even if we’re not together you can still be there for our baby. You’re her father. Or his father. I have another scan in a couple of weeks. They’ll be able to tell the gender then? Do you want to know? I can call you.”

“Baekhyun, I didn’t come back for the baby. I didn’t know about the baby. I came back for you.” Why wasn’t he getting that?

He still didn’t look convinced. “You came back for me.” He said quietly. “Because you love me.”

So he had heard his confession then, he’d been starting to think that he’d been so focussed on his own that the words hadn’t registered. “Yes, because I love you.”

“You love me but you still left me. You still hurt me.” Baekhyun continued, the words almost a whisper.

“I know.” Kris assured him. “And I’m sorry. I don’t expect you forgive me, to ask me to move back in and pick up where we left off. I just want you to give me a chance to prove it to you. Please.”

“I missed you too.” Baekhyun told him and it was only then that Kris noticed the hitch in his voice. “I missed you a lot.”

“Come here.” He said and he gave in and did what he’d wanted to do since Baekhyun opened the door, he pulled Baekhyun to him and he held him close, his arms around him as he kissed the top of his head, mumbled the words “I’m sorry,” into his hair. And Baekhyun let him.

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

Krisbaek for Rosasaur. I couldn't remember what the plan for this was, I lost my whole to do list a while back. But I hope you like what I came up with.

The LIST

Baekchen for kitten83
Krisho for suddon
Xiuhun for XxAngieexX
ing for jang-yehheung
Hanho for resurrection
Xiukris for weepywillow
Baektao for parkbyun
Chenyeol for tini1kero
Sesoo for hanadylaila
Lukai for AuthorJ
Kairis for mrmissM
Sutao for kkaebsong
Krischen for cutedi
Chenxing for VIPemma98
Sulay for Haruus
Layhan for damthemboys
Xiubaek for jantih
Xiukai for jantih
Xiulay for minminbaozi
Chantao for virogal
Chentao for virogal
Xiutao for MrMissM
Chanhun for Kaebsong
Lubaek for damethemboys
Taokai for BJ_VIP_Lover27
Taochen for nomundi
Kaibaek for CelestiaTaehyung
Baeksoo for sajoka