Life went on as usual. It had been a couple of days since the night Ji Hyo came by and I hadn't spoken to the actress since. I sat with Anne, Erin and Yan at a corner in Anne's café, quietly nursing a warm mug of toffee-nut latte. The rich, buttery flavour of the flavoured coffee tasted of Christmas, serving as a reminder that the holiday was only a little more than a month away. It brought me into a kind of silent reflective mood.

Christmas was usually a happy time for most people. A time when they gathered with loved ones and family. Yet for me, the holiday held a certain sense of melancholy. Of loneliness. I didn't have anyone to come home to. If I was lucky, I'd be invited by a friend and have Christmas dinner with them and their family. If I wasn't, I spent it alone at home, watching Christmas movies that played on the television. This year would be no different.

The trio was currently discussing a business idea. We thought to combine our shared knowledge: my skills in video-editing, Yan's linguistic skills and Erin's talent for photography into a YouTube channel on a foreigner's perspective of living in South Korea. Yan already had a wide reach as she was a successful travel blogger, blogging about her month-long holidays. 

We decided to use Anne's café as a backdrop to film as the space was big enough and would provide a cheery studio. It would also give the café publicity if the plan worked out. We knew how lonely it could get in a foreign country, especially a country like South Korea, which is a very social place with not that many things that one can do on one's own. With that in mind, we wanted it to be a place that foreigners and locals from all over Seoul, could come and meet others and make new friends.

I was miles away from the conversation as I stared out the window into the streets, watching the sunlight as it faded into the grey autumn skies. I observed the skies as they opened up and the rain came pouring down from the heavens above. The raindrops pattered against the window, leaving watery trails which I traced with my eyes. I placed a hand on the glass, it was cool to the touch, and memories as cold as the rain that was pounding on the window grabbed my heart even as my mind filled with thoughts of her. Leaving me as empty and cold as the streets outside.

“Hmm? Yeah, sure. Whatever you guys say.” I replied offhandedly at a question being directed at me. “Reg! Can you at least pretend to show some interest in this?” Yan scolded and I grunted in response. She sighed loudly. “Look, since your heart isn't here, just go to her already, okay? You really don't need our approval whether to go or not.” She continued pointedly.

Irritated, I got up from my seat abruptly and headed out. As I left, I heard Anne asked sympathetically. “Guys, shouldn't we go easy on Reg? She seems to have a lot on her mind.”

“Anne, it's a simple decision. Reg is an adult. She should be able to make up her mind whether or not to attend Ji Hyo's cousin's wake. It's not our fault she refuses to tell Ji Hyo about her feelings and chose to let her go.” Came Erin's exasperated reply.

Yup. The Korean was right. I chose this. Not heeding the rain that was coming down I walked home, allowing it soak me to the core. Desperately hoping the cold rain would numb my pain.

When I got home, I threw on a new pair of jeans and changed out of my wet shirt into a new one — black like the last. I wasn't a girl who anguished over what to wear. The ensemble in my wardrobe consisted mainly of blacks and greys, with a few blues thrown in. Oh, and a couple of whites.

I had decided to attend the wake. Afterall, I had met Ji Hyo's cousin, Eun Ae on a couple of occasions and I knew that she and Ji Hyo were close. I was just showing support, that's all. Arriving at the funeral home in Severance Hospital, I signed my name on the guestbook and put my monetary offering into one of the white envelopes at the entrance before entering the memorial area where Ji Hyo and her family were. I approached Eun Ae's coffin, which was adorned with flowers and a single picture and performed a deep, 90-degree bow to show my respects.

After offering my condolences, I sat at an empty table across the room which was reserved for friends and visiting relatives. The mood in the funeral hall was sombre and I felt a little out of place. Ji Hyo came by serving some simple food and drinks before sitting next to me. A tiny awkward moment passed before I looked over the actress. “Hey. How're you holding up?” I asked, concerned for her.

“I'm okay.” She assured. “It was just so sudden, you know?” She said before she went on to tell me about how Eun Ae was killed in a traffic accident while on her way to pick up her 7-year-old son.

At the mention of the boy, I turned to Ji Hyo. “What about Eun Chun? What's going to happen to him?” I asked.

“My aunt and uncle, his grandparents, who are his legal guardians will be taking care of him.” She answered.

Looking across the room, I spotted Eun Chun sitting at a corner with his grandparents. A lost look on his young face and my heart went out to the kid. Eun Ae was a single mom and the boy had just lost the only parent he had.

Ever since Ji Hyo had introduced me to the joys of skateboarding, I had occasionally skated with the little rat. I didn't like kids, but I wasn't a cold hearted ice-queen. The kid was likeable... In a stubborn, irritating kind of way. Despite my obvious irritation with it, he insisted on calling me his 'Hyung.' Pfft, whatever that means. I tell you, the kid is confused.

“Oh, the oppas are here. I'll seat all of you together.” Ji Hyo said, before getting up and heading over to where her Running Man family were. Gary took a seat next to me, while Ji Hyo sat beside him. The rapper listened sympathetically, his normally serene features that gave rise to his nickname, Peaceful Gary, arranged in a concerned frown. It was obvious that he truly cared about the actress. I tried not to pay attention to this but failed miserably.

Looking around, I tried to find something to distract myself and spotted Eun Chun, sitting listlessly by himself. It was quiet this time in the day as the majority of guests were still at work. Unable to stand being near Ji Hyo and Gary at the moment, I excused myself politely and headed towards the squirt.

“Hey, little man.” I greeted.

“Hyung, annyeonghaseyo.” He said, returning the greeting.

I growled and rolled my eyes. “Why do you keep calling me that? I'm not a guy you know.” I moaned and watched as the runt broke into a small smile before sticking his tongue out at me.

“Come on, kiddo. You look like you could use a nice meal. I'll buy you a burger.” I offered.

Eun Chun and I found a seat at the nearby Lotteria and I watched as the boy wolfed down his burger. He probably hadn't eaten much all day. The food at the funeral hall didn't seem too appetizing. “Eat slowly. You're going to choke at the rate you're going. Don't expect me to give you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation when you do.” I grumbled. He obeyed and slowed down.

“That's right. Take a bite of fries with your burger, then a sip of your milkshake. This is truly the only way to enjoy a fast food meal.” I told the kid, passing down my years of accumulated and in-depth knowledge of fast food enjoyment to the next generation. I watched fondly as he did as he was told but I knew it was not all I could pass on.

“Eun Chun?” I called out softly.

“Hmm?” He intoned with his mouth full.

“Listen carefully while you eat.” I said.

“Yeah, I'm listening.” He mumbled, after swallowing.

“Your mother isn't coming back.” I told him bluntly.

The boy lowered his burger for a second. “Yeah, I know. Grandma and grandpa already told me.” He sighed, before starting on his burger again.

I kept quiet for a beat. “From now on, you're going to have to take care of yourself.” I said, and he looked up at me, swallowing hard. “You'll have to study hard so that you'll have a future. Because you'll need to rely on yourself.” I added. The boy scoffed, he obviously didn't like studying. Undeterred, I continued. “Because of that, you'll feel lonely a lot of the time. But that's okay.”

“What would you know?” He answered snidely. Blustering and using the bravado to try and mask his pain, even as his young eyes filled with tears. I smiled gently at the boy. “Because like you... I don't have parents.” I told him, pausing to allow the child to take in the information I had disclosed. Eun Chun looked up at me. In that moment, connecting with me in mutual understanding. He knew that I understood how he felt.

Nodding, I continued. “As a result, I spent a lot of time with my nose in a book. I didn't have many friends. But I did well in school, and am now able to take care of myself.” I concluded, watching as understanding dawn in his eyes.

Dipping my head to