Turnabout 04:

The Weight of the Truth pt.2

“Hey Yeol! We’re going to be together no matter what! Alright?”

[Baekhyun’s Point of View]

Ah. It’s that dream again. My chest hurts from it. How many years has it been since that day? Groaning a bit, I sit up from my bed and raked my hair. I looked at my side and stared at the photo of a young me and Chanyeol. Those were the good days, but in the end, I had left him. In all honesty, this whole ordeal is my fault. It can’t be his fault, not when the root of all this lies with me. I’m to blame for this whole escapade. This whole running away is just one whole pathetic excuse.

I couldn’t confront my feelings back then because I was scared that he’ll reject me. That he’ll throw me away after just earning his forgiveness. Forgetting him after the incident had probably damaged to the point he lied to me, yet he still cared for my well-being. He wanted to be cruel, but he cannot do so for he still cherishes me as his dear friend. I let out a chuckle. I’m not that ignorant not to notice it and come to that conclusion.

Having him leave me after I somehow regain my voice back felt like thousands of thorns piercing my chest and just thinking about those days had me nauseous. I’m not that hung up on his leaving anymore, knowing that he has a reason…well, fine, I’m still mad about it—a bit. But I’m not angry at him at all. I’m just angry at the reason to why as he needs to leave. I know there’s a reason and I know that my brother knows it too, along with those whom I know that have close relationships with Chanyeol. It’s something big that they won’t tell me why.

Chanyeol had more or less acted the same when I saw him again and even pretended not to recognize me. I had hurt him again that day when I confronted him. I knew something was wrong, but I was blinded by my curiosity to know why he acted like that. And the fact that he is in a relationship with his secretary only makes my blood boil.

I let out an exasperated sigh and looked at my calendar. Today is the day I’ll get to know everything.

“Hello?”

“Baekhyun…hyung?”

“Chanyeol? How did you get my number?”

“Hm. It’s me. You told me last time that it’s still the same.”

“Oh, right. So what is it?”

“Let’s meet up. I’ll tell you everything.”

And today is also the day I plan to tell him about my feelings. No matter what happens, I’m ready to accept it no matter what. Getting up, I prepared myself for the revelation that is soon to be revealed.

[End of Baekhyun’s Point of View]

After changing his clothes and got himself ready, Baekhyun headed downstairs to eat breakfast with the family. He greeted his father and mother who were already at the table and having their tea.

“Ah, Baekhyun, are you heading out?” Mrs. Wu inquired, her smile a bit stiff, yet her eyes showed concern. Baekhyun sympathizes her condition right now, knowing it was hard enough to smile for the decision they had made for the person who is in comatose whom they also considered as their son. He replied with a ‘yes’ and started with the appetizer that was placed in front of him by the maid.

“Where is Yifan?” Mr. Wu asked without looking up while he takes a bite of his cordon bleu. In cue, Kris had walked in the dining room and had taken his seat beside Baekhyun, apologizing for being late for breakfast.

“It’s alright dear. Are you also going out?”

“Yes, mother. I am meeting with the heir of the Huang family today for an important business,” Kris replied with a small smile and Mr. Wu glanced at him briefly before continuing to eat his meal. Mrs. Wu hummed in response, not wanting to ask anymore as she trust her sons to know what they are doing.

“Take care, alright? Your father and I will be out to meet with the Zhang family to inform them about their son. If you need us, don’t hesitate to call us directly.” Mrs. Wu smiled at them and both Kris and Baekhyun thanked her and promised that they will do.

After finishing their breakfast, the two had bid their farewell and headed out together. “Are you ready to know the truth, Baekhyun?” Kris asked as they walked to the front door. Baekhyun hummed in confirmation, a strong look of determination was evident in his face and Kris couldn’t help but sigh. He clapped his back and Baekhyun lets out a yelp and glowered at him.

Kris grinned at him. “Take it easy, okay? The truth will only hurt, but I know that you’re ready for whatever the outcome is. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive him.”

Baekhyun bit his lip and clapped the older’s back, catching Kris off-guard. The older looked at him in surprise and Baekhyun grinned back. “I already forgave him a long time ago. Whatever happens, I’m ready to accept it. And you too! Take it easy, okay? I’m sure everything will turn out fine for you too.”

Kris could only give him a pained smile. He ruffled the younger’s hair and walks a little bit ahead of him.

“You’ve grown, Baekhyun.”

A bitter smile curls from his lips as he replied, “Yeah. I should have. I’m his hyung, after all.”

♦

Baekhyun was nervous. It was Sunday and all the students were out for family gathering or spending the day with friends or alone. He greeted some professors along the way before arriving at the door to the theatre. Sure, he was confidently prepared when he was back at home, but right now, he was contemplating whether to it up or run away.

I’ve got to do this.

He calmed his nerves down before pushing the door and makes his way inside the theatre. He found himself entranced at the sight whilst a beautiful song was being played—Schubert’s Ave Maria. He knew Chanyeol was good at the piano, but never this amazing. The emotions he placed in the piece was heart-wrenching that he could have cried right there when Chanyeol had stopped playing.

They were basked in silence for a minute before Chanyeol had started playing again, but this time it was a different piece.

Ah, it’s Liszt’s La campanella.

Baekhyun listened ‘til the end of the piece and he couldn’t help but clap his hands in amazement. Chanyeol was startled by his sudden applause and Baekhyun figured that Chanyeol was in his world that he wasn’t able to notice him.

“Baekhyun hyung?” Chanyeol called out without turning his back. Emotions suddenly swelled in chest and Baekhyun felt his throat constricting that he wasn’t able to respond immediately. He was only able to reply when Chanyeol had called out again.

“Yeah, I’m here.” He started walking toward him and abruptly stopped with the next words that left Chanyeol’s mouth.

“I’m blind.”

“What?”

♦

“I believe you have something important to tell me?” Tao started with a little tone of impatience. He had been waiting for a half an hour and the person who wanted to meet up was late. Kris shoots him an apologetic grin to which brought a scowl on the younger’s face.

“Don’t scowl like that. It won’t make you less cute,” Kris says with a smile. Tao blushes at the sudden flirtatious remark and opts to leave when Kris grabbed his arm that prevented him to leave any further. Tao sighs and made no move to leave in which Kris loosens his grip on the younger’s arm. The younger swats his hand away and fixes his coat, glaring at Kris after.

“Spit out whatever you have to say. I don’t have time for you petty talks.”

Kris wouldn’t say he was hurt by how Tao treats him like he’s the most despicable and unwanted human the younger wants to talk to right now. He felt his chest sting a bit, but he swallowed the lump on his throat and lets out a shaky breath.

“Fine. This isn’t petty talk anyways. This is about us.” Tao looked at him as if he grew another head, Kris chuckled. “Dumbfounded, aren’t you?”

Kris felt a sudden sting on his cheek, eliciting a yelp. He looked at the younger and realized that Tao was holding back his tears, his figure trembling with unexplained emotions.

“Tao—“

“Shut up!” Tao yells at him before taking his leave. Kris was stunned at the sudden outburst and immediately ran up to Tao. He called for him, not minding the eyes of the crowd that are on them. The younger quickens his pace, wanting to no longer be involved with Kris.

“Leave me alone!”

“Tao!”

Tao grits his teeth, taking a sudden turn to the entrance to the lake hidden inside the forest. Kris lost him for a moment, panting to catch his breath. He looks around and found a track leading to the lake and he sets out to get the younger. The view of the lake was in sight and Tao lets himself breathe when he got to the lake. He looks at the view, feeling his lungs calm down and he bites back a sob when he hears the footsteps making towards him. A pair of strong arms hugged him from behind and he offered to make a little bit of resistance so that it won’t look like he had given up running away.

“Let me go,” he stated weakly, but Kris only tightened his hug around him.

“No.”

“Let me go, Kris. It’s better if you don’t associate with me anymore.” Tao knew his voice was crumbling and he cursed himself for not being able to keep his emotions in check.

“No,” Kris replied firmly and it only made Tao’s emotions swell and the younger couldn’t help but let the tears fall. Within the strong pair of arms, Tao grits his teeth as he tried to deny his feelings and he tried to break free from Kris’s embrace.

“I said let me go!”

“Tao!” Kris turns him around, grabbing the younger’s shoulder and firmly holding him in place. Tao looks at him with a crestfallen look, seeing the desperate look on the person he loves; his knees weakens and gives in, making him kneel on the ground.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you making it hard for me? For three years, I’ve decided to take the path that my father had offered in order to assure you and Luhan wouldn’t get hurt, so why? Why are you trying to make all of my hard work and efforts in vain?” Tao cries out to him and Kris kneels in front of him, unable to say anything.

“I didn’t want to leave you behind, but I have to! I have to, because if I didn’t, my father would surely have done something to you. I don’t want that, so I had to leave you behind. It was all for you. Even if it pains me that you love someone else and knowing it’s not me, I still love you. I did it for you, Kris. So why are you making it difficult for me? Why?” He punches Kris’s chest as he sobbed every word out and soon, his hands got tired and fell limp to his side as he cried in front of him.

It hurts.

Tao thought, but the thought died down when he felt two hands held his face and a soft feeling resting on his lips. His eyes widen at the sudden action, but soon, he closed his eyes and cherished the lips that were kissing him. Together, they opened their eyes as Kris pulled away and embraced the younger.

“Thank you for telling me why you left me alone that day. You’ve taken a brave path and I’m proud of you. Thank you for protecting me, Tao. I did love somebody before, but it all changed when you came to my life. I’m telling you that I love you. I loved you since three years ago. I love you, Huang Zitao,” Kris whispers at his ear and Tao could feel the tears leaking from his eyes again as he returned the hug and held the older’s shirt tightly.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Shhh, it’s alright. What’s important is I’ve got you back.”

♦

A moment of silence passed the theatre before Baekhyun’s trembling voice broke through it.

“What are you saying? You’re blind?” Baekhyun couldn’t believe it. Blind? Not the way Chanyeol acted as their maestro, he was perfectly fine! How could he tell him such a ridiculous lie?

“I’m not lying, Baek. I’m really blind.” Chanyeol turns around and stares at him, brown orbs dulled from their usual tint. Baekhyun could feel his heartbeat in his ears when Chanyeol threw an envelope to the ground. He picked it up and slowly, retrieved the contents and reads it. His hands trembled as it fell limp to his sides and he gazed at Chanyeol with a crestfallen look.

Chanyeol gave him a bitter smile, knowing what the older’s reaction will be. “When I was young, long before I met you, I was in an accident and it had placed a time limit to my sight. As I grew, my vision blurred and soon, I was unable to see things from afar and those that are near me. Myungsoo tried to help me and he sent me to America for treatment, but it was too late. My sight couldn’t be saved and I’m forever imprisoned in the darkness of my world.”

Baekhyun could feel his throat constrict. “Is that why you left without a word last three years ago? It’s because you had to go for a treatment in America?”

“Yes, it’s for that reason as to why I had to leave you,” Chanyeol replies, noting Baekhyun’s words were filled with upset and anger. True to his deduction, Baekhyun was trembling in anger. The bottled emotions were leaking out and he threw the papers on the floor and took a step forward to Chanyeol.

“Then why? Why didn’t you tell me?! You could have told me about it! Am I that untrustworthy—no, am I a stranger to you that you were unable to say it to me? Why Park Chanyeol?!” Baekhyun shouts at him, his words reverberating inside the theatre. Once the echo died, Chanyeol gazed at him with the most genuine affection that it rendered Baekhyun speechless and helped him calm down a bit.

“It’s because I love you.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you that’s why I had to leave without informing you. I didn’t want you to become burdened with someone who is no longer a part of your life.”

Baekhyun was shocked. Burdened? With someone like him? How could he decide on things like that?

“How could you say that? Chanyeol. You’re my childhood friend. My best friend. How could you say that you’re no longer a part of my life?” What was Chanyeol thinking? He never once thought of that about him. In fact, Chanyeol holds great importance in his life besides being friends since they were young, but because he loves him.

Chanyeol turns to face him fully and casted his gaze downward. “I am someone from your past, but not from your present. Those days when I helped you regain your voice, I was the only one clinging to the past.”

“I didn’t want to leave you behind! I didn’t want to forget. I—“

“I know, Baekhyun. I know. I heard the story from Kris.” Chanyeol smiled at him and Baekhyun could feel the tears staining his cheeks. “But even then, you were moving forward without me and even if you remembered me or even if I had told you about us being childhood friends, it wouldn’t change anything. I’m no longer in your present or in your future. I’m just a fragment of your memory.”

Baekhyun could feel his heart shattering again. He moves towards him and kneels in front, taking the cold hand of his best friend and places it on his forehead.

“I love you, Chanyeol. You’re part of my past, my present and my future. So don’t say that you aren’t part of it. I’m sorry for leaving you behind back then. I’m sorry for forgetting you. I’m sorry for getting angry at you without knowing the real reason why you did those. I’m so sorry.”

Baekhyun could feel Chanyeol’s hand caress his hair with affection and the former could only cry as he apologized. Chanyeol has a smile playing on his lips as tears fall as he closed his eyes. “Thank you for loving me, Baekhyun. I love you too, but you’re no longer the person who holds my heart.”

Baekhyun grips the hand his holding tightly, closing his eyes to calm himself down a bit before opening them just to let new tears to fall. “Is it that secretary of yours?” Baekhyun looks up to look at Chanyeol’s face and there he finds, a smile that is full of fondness.

“Yeah, he is the one who holds my heart right now.”

Baekhyun wanted to die. He honestly does, but he told himself that this is it. That this is the sign of the end of their tale. He smiled bitterly, lips trembling as he tried to find the words to say.

“Does he have something that I don’t have?” he quietly asks, letting go of Chanyeol’s hand and letting his hands fall to the floor. Chanyeol couldn’t see, but he knows that Baekhyun is hurting twice as he much. He leans down and embraced the older, resting his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“No. Both of you are wonderful. Perfect. That I am unworthy of having you both. But what makes it different, is that I cannot stand to lose you as my best friend and I cannot stand to lose him as my lover.”

Baekhyun lets out a shuddering sigh, eyes looking up with tears rolling down to his cheeks. He closed his eyes as he lets out a bitter and defeated chuckle. He had to give in. He had to accept the outcome from the choices he had made from the beginning. It’s already enough. The answers he needed were enough for him to let go. It’s time to say goodbye to the lost love.

Baekhyun pulled away which made the younger confused for a moment, before he leans in and kisses Chanyeol on the lips. Chanyeol was startled, yet he lets the older do as he pleases and didn’t resist. The kiss lasted for like eternity for both of them, time retrieved and set to start to another course. Baekhyun stood up and wiped away his tears, feeling the numbness that runs throughout his body.

He wiped away Chanyeol’s tears, a bitter smile evident on his face. “You’re cruel, you know that?” He caresses Chanyeol’s cheek and the latter placed his hand over Baekhyun’s and smiled.

“So, I’ve been told.”

♦

“You sure you don’t need me to take you to your place?” Baekhyun questioned the younger, who had his hand tugging on his bag as they left the building. “You look like you’ll get lost.”

Chanyeol gave him a troubled smile. “It’s fine. I could manage. Just hail me a cab, will you?”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and pinched his cheek, earning him a yelp. “Oww, what did you do that for?”

“Payback and it’s because you’re an idiot.”

Chanyeol complained at the sudden remark and Baekhyun chuckled. He saw a car stop by down the stairs and the least person he wanted to see right now stepped out from the car. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed loudly.

“Hyung?”

“Guess I won’t be needing to hail you cab anymore. Someone is here to pick you up.” He gazed at the rival whom he had lost to and sighed once more. He gently swats Chanyeol’s hand from his bag and starts to descend the stairs.

“Eh? Hyung? Where are you?” Chanyeol felt a sudden panic when Baekhyun removed his hand from the older’s bag. His eyes darts everywhere and he takes a step back in fear. Baekhyun clenches his jaw and turns around to run up to Chanyeol to give him a hug.

“You better contact me even if we’re just friends.” And with that, Baekhyun pulls away and leaves him alone. Once on the main ground, he watched as Lucas goes up to hug Chanyeol and see the younger return it with a big smile on his face with tears rolling down his cheeks once more. He watched them for a bit, before turning away and makes his leave.

He wouldn’t admit it in front of Chanyeol, because even if it hurts, he was thankful that the younger had loved him also. Holding back the tears, he takes out his phone, and calls for the person whom he could find solace to.

It’s enough to know that you can’t stand to lose me even if I were just only your childhood friend and that you love me as the way I do.

►Do I even need to say anything?

♦ Hope you enjoyed it!

► Honestly, a cruel woman.