Silencio Bella

Revelation Pt. 1

“Mom? Dad?” 6 year-old Chanyeol called out wearily from the white, cold bed as soon as he woke up. An oxygen mask tightly secured on the lower portion of his face and several needles were placed all around his body, stinging in pain that he wanted to cry out. His mother quickly rushed to his side with red, puffy eyes and face filled with worry and desperation.

“Chanyeol, oh god. Chanyeol, my baby. You’re finally awake,” she cries out, scooping Chanyeol from the bed and held him around her arms, safely securing him and telling him that she’s here. In response, Chanyeol returned the hug, mumbling something incoherent before a slash of pain strikes his head and he screams.

He screams and screams. Over and over again until the doctor and nurses rushes to his side, quickly checking his eyes and sending several orders. On the side, his mother and father stood with helpless expressions, tears staining their face as he continued to scream, over and over again.

He remembers seeing light and a fluttery feeling on his chest like his soul being taken from him. He remembers someone telling him to stay awake, to stay alive and live. He remembers a high-pitched shrill like the ones in the hospital when someone died.

The last thing he remembers doing was calling for help before his sight collapses into pitch black.

Chanyeol lets out a scream before sitting up with a trembling frame. His eyes were looking everywhere around his room, fear coiling every part of his body as sweat trickled down his soaked body. He heard frantic footsteps running down the hallway down to his room and the frantic hold of the knob before hearing the loud screech of the door being thrown open. The room is dark, pitch black and he could only resort to his sense of hearing than his sight.

Soon, strong pair of arms wrap around his trembling body, securing him and telling him that someone’s here. Just like what his mother did to him back then. At the moment when he feels the warmth from the other, he returns the embrace while burying his head on the latter’s chest as he sobs, staining the other’s shirt, but the latter doesn’t seem to care as he continued to hold Chanyeol around his arms. Whispering that it’s okay, that it was just a nightmare and that he’s here, yet even with the promising wishes doesn’t calm down the sobbing man.

“Hey, hey, I’m here. I’m here, Chanyeol. I’m here. Shh,” he consoles him to the best of his abilities, rocking their bodies together and his back while he continues to tell him that it’s okay. Empty promises come with empty lies of comfort, yet Chanyeol buys it. He buys it because he needs to and there’s no way around it—ever.

“Lucas,” he whispers hoarsely, gripping his shirt more and the latter hums, moving his hand to pat the younger’s hair. The sobs quiet down a little bit and when Lucas was about to pull away, Chanyeol doesn’t let go of his shirt and lets out a whimper. Lucas sighs, saying something along the line like ‘stubborn brat’ before giving in and decides to lay down their bodies on Chanyeol’s queen-sized bed.

Their bodies perfectly fit each other as if it was made that way. Lucas tightened his embrace around Chanyeol when the younger buries his head on his chest, nuzzling his face until he finds a comfortable position. Chanyeol calms his ragged breathing, closing his eyes as fatigue overwhelms him, but let himself bask in the warmth that Lucas offers.

But even with fatigue overwhelming his whole body, Chanyeol stays awake, unable to sleep because of his nightmare. Lucas remained awake also, not because he can’t sleep nor he was awake when he heard Chanyeol scream, but rather he wanted to be awake for Chanyeol’s well being. Who knows when the younger will get attack by his numerous nightmares? He can’t afford to see the younger shake with indescribable fear with tears running down his face.

Chanyeol lets out a small whimper when he remembers something, guilt consumes him slowly. He shifts uncomfortably, burying his head more on Lucas chest before biting his lower lip. Lucas noticed his uneasy movement, pulling away a little so that he could view Chanyeol’s face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks with worry filling his voice and Chanyeol just sighs. He mutters an apology about waking him up making Lucas laugh. The older male sits up, pecking Chanyeol on the lips before ruffling his hair; a wide grin appears on his face when he sees the latter’s cheeks painted with red.

“It’s okay Chanyeol. Don’t worry about me and just sleep, okay? You’ve been tired from the practice. If you’re worrying about your nightmares, I could get you some sleeping pills or I could sing you some lullaby.” Chanyeol laugh at the options given to him, making him forget about his nightmare and he grins up at the male in front of him.

“I’ll take the second choice, but…” Chanyeol trails off before the corner of his lips curl into a smirk, “I think I’ll pick the first one, since I can’t guarantee if I’ll be able to hear tomorrow,” he teases and he was met with warm hands on his stomach, tickling him till the pitch black room was filled laughter and whines and soon they resign in the lullaby of sleep.

 “Okay, that’s enough guys. Let’s take a break for awhile,” Chanyeol announces from his seat, clapping his hands loudly for a good measure. He earns a chorus agreement and he smiles at them when they slowly left one by one. Lucas steps down from the podium; a tired sigh escapes his mouth but smiles when Chanyeol walks to him with a proud smile on his face.

“You did a great job Lucas,” Chanyeol softly says, eyes twinkling in delight and Lucas chuckles, nodding his head proudly.

“Yes, yes, I did. You owe me big time. You need to take the stand soon or else…” he trails off when Chanyeol’s features stiffen and he pats the younger’s cheek with a smile. Chanyeol sighs, nodding his head like a scolded child making Lucas a bit guilty.

“Let’s have dinner at your favourite place, hm?” Lucas offers and chuckles when Chanyeol nods his head with a wide smile, reminding of a child who got his treat. His phone vibrates in his pocket and Lucas excuses himself to take the call, leaving Chanyeol alone on the stage. Chanyeol hums a tune as he waits for Lucas, until someone called him and he turns his head to where the voice came from.

“Baekhyun?” he mutters as Baekhyun slowly walks to him. He had waited for Chanyeol to be alone after sending his friends first to lunch. He wanted to talk to Chanyeol alone after he had taken some thought about confronting him. He patiently waited for Chanyeol to make the first move but from what he sees, Chanyeol isn’t going to talk to him at all and Baekhyun decides he is going to.

He had a talk about this with Kris (even after Baekhyun insists that it’s okay after he saw his brother crying, but Kris said that it’s okay with him. That he could talk to him about it since he had sorted out his problems) and his brother was in shock after finding about Chanyeol being here. He had informed him that Chanyeol went to US and pursued his music career there. He talked about Chanyeol’s personality being changed and that he doesn’t seem to recognize him anymore that it made his heart twinge in pain.

Kris gave him pieces of advice and Baekhyun trusts him that it will work. That he needs to confront Chanyeol sooner or later anyways. That’s why Baekhyun builds his courage to confront Chanyeol today. Halting in front of him, he was met with Chanyeol’s steady gaze that lacks of recognition of him making his chest tight.

“Chanyeol,” he utters, nervous and anxious and wonders how Chanyeol could keep this act. “Don’t you recognize me? It’s me. Baekhyun. Your childhood friend, Chanyeol. Don’t you recognize me at all?”

He sees him flinch at his words and a scowl forms on Chanyeol’s face. His gaze turned into a glare, jaws tight and frame trembling as he spoke, “Baekhyun…you…” he trails off and there was recognition, making Baekhyun anticipate that Chanyeol may finally talk to him. Chanyeol sighs, shaking his head as he takes a step backward.

“Let’s not talk right now, Baekhyun hyung. I can’t talk to you right now,” Chanyeol says with a nervous voice, trembling and unsure. Baekhyun feels lost and confused. What did Chanyeol say? That he can’t talk to him right now? What is he saying? What is there to wait for? Baekhyun feels his blood boil, anger filling his mind and heart that couldn’t control himself for a moment.

Chanyeol feels a stinging pain on his right cheek. It was numb at first, but slowly he could feel the pain that he looks at Baekhyun in shock then resentment. Baekhyun doesn’t back down as he meets Chanyeol’s glare with his heated glare also.

“Byun Baekhyun,” Chanyeol growls lowly, anger and disappointment in his voice but Baekhyun doesn’t care.

“Why are you like this Chanyeol? Why are you acting like a spoiled brat?! Why are you ignoring me when you’re the one who’s at fault! You left everyone without a word and do you even know how I felt for the past 3 years? You knew that I recovered my memories, but you still pretended that you’re a stranger. Why? Why Chanyeol? Why didn’t you just tell me straight in my face that you’re my childhood friend whom I left back then without a word instead of making me stupid? Why? Why?!” Baekhyun yells at him, his throat hurting as he throws question by question as tears slowly runs down his face. He puts his hands on his face, disappointment and pain filling his body as he continues to sob.

It wasn’t his intention to shout at Chanyeol, but he couldn’t take what the younger had said. He couldn’t forgive him for the fact that he hid everything from Baekhyun and pretended that he was just some stranger. He knows he has no right to get angry at him, but Baekhyun wants to blame him for making him feel this pain like never before. He’s angry that Chanyeol left without a word after helping him regain his memories. He’s angry at him for making him miserable when he shouldn’t be. He’s angry that he has this uneasy feeling in his chest whenever he sees Chanyeol close to Lucas as if they are like a couple.

He’s angry. Not at Chanyeol, but by himself. Angry by the fact that he can’t sort out his feelings for him. That what makes him angry and Baekhyun wanted to blame Chanyeol for it.

Chanyeol doesn’t say anything, much less move from his place, but instead he looks at Baekhyun with sadness. His heart twists in pain and he wants to tell Baekhyun that it’s okay. That he’ll explain everything, but something hinders him from doing anything at all. Baekhyun calms himself down eventually, gazing at Chanyeol with a defeated look and shakily sighs when he sees Chanyeol casted his eyes on the floor.

“What do you think you’re doing Baekhyun?” Lucas’s voice filled the theatre and Baekhyun glares the person behind who was walking towards Chanyeol. Lucas takes his place beside Chanyeol and instantly, Chanyeol’s hand made its way to Lucas’s making Baekhyun’s eye twitch while slowly, he clenches his fists.

“Okay. Just call me later when you’re ready. I’m sure you’ve got some reason why you can’t talk to me right now. I’ll wait. My number is still the same. I’ll take my leave, Mr. Park.” Baekhyun’s voice was forced, stiff and hoarse. He gazed at Chanyeol one last time and gave Lucas a disdainful look before taking his leave. When Baekhyun was out, Lucas wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s trembling figure, whispering that it is okay and that everything will be alright. Chanyeol doesn’t cry, but his heart hurts just like back then and he swallows the sob that threatened to leave his lips.

Forgiving someone who had hurt you, rip your heart and shredded it into pieces, and used you like a rag doll and throws you out isn’t easy as it seems. It burns like fire, slowly corrupting the perfect picture into brown, crisp paper that turns into ash and only to be whisked away into nothing by the wind. The mark it makes stays forever, not healing and unforgiving because it reminds you of the pain that you accumulated for doing one thing that contained a price; loving someone.

It wasn’t easy for Jongdae. Not at all. If he could be honest, he wanted to strangle the hell out of Minseok, yell at him for all the misery he caused to him and kill him, if it was possible enough. He wanted to get revenge for all the things that Minseok did to him, for all the pain and false hope that he kept slapping on his face several times that felt like eternity for Jongdae. He wanted to make Minseok suffer. He wanted him to feel the pain that he felt all those years back then.

But Jongdae’s heart is big, yet at the same time: weak.

He’s a kind-hearted soul that lacks any trace of evil and shadow of malice. Emotions of like a pure angel he is—he was a person who would always forgive no matter what, even if his soul may be scarred several times and leaves him shattered and crushed into little bits of sand.

Jongdae is a person of the past while Chen is the present. They may share one body, one face and one soul, yet they are of different persona. They think and act differently and their heart beats with different intention. While Chen puts up a big armour to shield Jongdae from the pain and keeps him from destroying himself; Jongdae reflects on the past and breaks the armour that Chen had for him.

Jongdae understands while Chen is selfish. Jongdae forgives; Chen fuels his hatred with anger. Jongdae is the water while Chen is the fire. Jongdae is the angel with a white wing where the other has been torn off and a single wing remains while Chen is the angel whose wings are tainted with black; a scarred angel.

Jongdae is real while Chen is merely a façade.

To think that after everything that had happened, Jongdae managed to forgive Minseok. Chen had let go and the mask that covers Jongdae is finally gone. He sees the reality and thinks everything thoroughly and rationally. After knowing that his only treasure had been robbed from him, Chen disappears and Jongdae takes over; realizing how fruitless everything is.

The days where he was dead and dreamt of a black canvas, Jongdae thought that it would be best to stop struggling. He recalled everything the Minseok did for him for the past 3 years just to compensate for the crime he did. He wasn’t supposed to give in. He wasn’t supposed to let his heart prevail, yet when Minseok begged to spare him in a defeated voice; Jongdae knew he lost the game.

The world they have isn’t about give and take nor was it an evil master and its servant. The relationship they have kept was running around in circle of pain and forgiveness. They kept running around, not wanting to lose sight of the other and look where it got them? A disaster was the result and there’s no remedy for the scarred past and the wounded present.

Jongdae had thought long and hard about what their relationship is. How the world revolves so naturally with all the damages and of healing it has. He had thought about the revenge he had been keeping up. He thought of the missing future.

Surely, if he would execute his revenge all the way out, what will he benefit from it anyways? Will he even be happy? Will he even be satisfied seeing the older suffer just like the way he did? Will he be able to bear the fact that his heart doesn’t want to let Minseok get hurt; that deep inside his heart, he still loves him?

Love.

Jongdae wants to laugh at that word. Such a humiliating, arrogant and painful word. He doesn’t even know how it even works in the first place, yet Jongdae took the bargain because he felt it was right. He felt that it would satisfy the loneliness in his heart and self. A simple bargain that could destroy a person’s life.

Yet Jongdae thinks that it’s not that bad. He truly loves Minseok even when he was hurting back then. He never questioned his love for Minseok, but because of the consequences that he had to pay was too unbearable to have that Jongdae decided to let Chen take the front stage.

Now that a lot of years had passed, a lot of things had happened—both tragic and a blessing—Jongdae thinks he had to follow his heart. What he truly desires. Because he knows that revenge isn’t something that he truly wanted in the beginning. He isn’t this kind of person to begin with.

‘I’m sorry.’

Even with the scars that his soul had received, Jongdae realized that his love exceeds much further and higher than his pain and revenge. That his love for Minseok didn’t change with the years that had passed by. That no matter what circumstances may happen, no matter what obstacles, blinding emotions and hazy sight of the reality come; his feelings for Minseok stood strong that made him keep holding on this one little string that keeps his heart still beating.

“I still love him,” he hoarsely mutters under his breath, disbelief and uncertainty filled his voice.  There was a long stretch of silence before he gasped in surprise, eyes widening in shock and realization. Tears fall out unexpectedly that Jongdae had to swipe some off from his cheeks just to be sure.  His chest tightens unimaginably that left him gasping for air. It was painful. Painful enough to let him know the weight of everything he had done and what had been done.

It was a moment of realization that Jongdae thinks he’s really an utterly a fool. A fool who kept running away like a coward and was blinded by rage of revenge only to realize that he still loves Minseok like a newborn love. Jongdae groans in frustration, face-palming himself in distress before he sighs exasperatedly. He silently curses himself for being stupid, but he thought for a moment that everything had happened was in the past and he can’t do anything to change it anymore.

If he was a stupid fool back then in high school for falling in love with a playboy senior like Minseok,  was hurt several times because of it and ran away like a coward he is after graduation; Jongdae thinks his love isn’t fruitless as it seems because even when the years had passed by, he’s still a stupid fool.

All the years of hiding from Minseok even when their café is just close by; Jongdae knows that he knows the truth from the very start and that he’s really a fool for thinking that because he was hurt by the person he loves that he could run away, not as a coward but as a victim of a fruitless love. Yet, after realizing that Minseok had been doing his very best to give Jongdae his time to heal himself from the wounds and try to mend back their relationship and all before the accident; Jongdae wanted to throw himself to the cliff.

Muttering several curses for being a great fool, Jongdae stared at his legs with a blank look. Realizing that he’s really in a helpless situation and that he will forever be like a damsel in distress, Jongdae knows that he will forever need to depend on Minseok. Tears continue to spill as flashbacks returns into a heated moment and all what Jongdae wanted is for Minseok to be here by his side, held by his arms and comfort him and tell him that everything will be fine under the dark room that spoke of nothing but misery and loneliness.

‘Save me.’

"Look at me Chanyeol," Kris begs with desperation that drips with an unknown agony, searching for the recognition on his face and the look that tells him that everything he had concluded is all but an ugly lie. He stares at Chanyeol's surprised face sourly turn into an ashamed expression, watching the younger cast his brown orbs down at the table regretfully at something that Kris dreads that is true.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kris. I'm sorry," Chanyeol apologizes repeatedly, every sorry filled with guilt that heightens every time. Kris breath hitches unknowingly; panic revealing the fear that his heart held as he slowly reaches out his arm and waves his hand before Chanyeol's face. There was nothing. Not even the slightest recognition he could get from Chanyeol as the latter brown orbs kept staring somewhere not his hands nor himself, but rather in a place so far that Chanyeol kept reaching and wanting to seek, yet never got to.

Kris's heart broke into several pieces when revelation dawned to him like a bucket of cold water harshly slapped on his face. Kris learned the truth in a horrible way, unexpected and so untrue that he can't believe it. He doesn't want this truth, this reality, because it's hard to accept and bear the fact that the once cheerful and normal boy he knew who was gone for 3 years returned with dreadful news that no one could imagine of.

"You're blind?" Kris whispers, disbelief in his voice and hushed as if it was something that shouldn't be spoken of. Chanyeol bitterly smiles back at him in return; eyes filled with unshed tears that couldn’t explain what he had felt all for the past 3 years without anyone by his side. Kris felt guilty, sad, worried, ashamed, and angry by the fact that Chanyeol didn't tell them about this. That he didn't even tell a single soul about his condition and pain. That he didn't trust his friends enough to even say a single shred of truth that lies within his heart. Kris was angry, angry that he wants slap Chanyeol in the face and scold him, but when he is reminded of the young Chanyeol back then, he couldn't bring himself to be angry at all.

The pain and suffering that Chanyeol bore all this years were all bottled up, never spoken of because Chanyeol is selfish, yet at the same time courageous enough to keep everything to himself and to put up with the harsh reality and face it on with a smile. Chanyeol is someone that Kris treasures in his life, someone he loves and will never forget no matter what. He was someone that brought warmth and refuge to Kris when he was in his rebellious days and changed him for a better person. Chanyeol saved him from drowning himself into mistakes and regrets that will forever scar him for eternity. Kris is thankful, still even today, because Chanyeol made him realize life was something to take note for. He was someone that exchanged his life for the better life of his friends, even to the point of breaking himself in the process.

Kris slowly took Chanyeol's hand, feeling the once warm hand cold to touch. He tries to warm it up for him, tries to let the younger feel the heat through the cold world he has, yet Chanyeol shakily tears his hand away from him, taking his hand back and mutters an apology. Kris felt crying when he saw this, he felt helpless in this situation that he doesn't know what to do even when Jongin came late and was happy at first before noticing the glum atmosphere.

"What's wrong? Why do you guys look like as if a cat got run over by a truck?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, lips pursed with unknown fear. Chanyeol doesn't say a word even with his head turned away from them which Kris takes the role to explain everything that he had learned so far. After explaining to Jongin, the latter looked at Chanyeol in shock and in disbelief, before a nervous laughter left his lips as he looked at Kris with a wavering smile.

"You're kidding, right? You're joking. Chanyeol can't be blind! He can't be." His voice sounded unsure and nervous. "Chanyeol's just messing with you Kris. Have you forgotten about how his joke could be so serious sometimes that it could fool us that it is true?” Jongin’s faltering and Kris knows that Jongin is slowly coming to believe that it is true.

Tightening his jaw, Jongin shakily raises his hand and holds up three fingers. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Chanyeol blinks, looking at his best friends with a blank look. All he could see was darkness. Nothing at all and that makes Chanyeol frustrated and sick. He couldn’t see anything at all and yet, he pretends he could see. It was on impulse to blurt out an answer--he whispers a 1--and when he received silence, he knew he had proven it was all true.

Jongin takes his hand back, clenching it into a fist as tears slowly well up in his eyes. He looks at Chanyeol’s lost look, his brown orbs no longer vivid and proud, but rather lost and pale. Chanyeol had his hair grow below his shoulder and other than that, nothing had really changed anyways. The fact that Chanyeol looks the same, yet at the same isn’t made Jongin frustrated, broken and bewildered.

“How long?” he murmurs and Kris looks away from Chanyeol, unable to see the younger male’s pitiful self. Yet, even though being questioned for how long, Chanyeol kept silent; not wanting to spill any details at all that Jongin didn’t press him any further of it. Instead Kris decides to speak up, mustering all his courage to look at Chanyeol even when he told himself that he can’t bear to look at Chanyeol’s horrible state anymore.

“You…have you told this to Baekhyun?”

“No,” he softly replies, pausing a bit before he resumes; this time his voice firm. “No, I haven’t told him yet. And I will never will. I plan to keep this secret with me until the day I die. I don’t plan on dragging him with me to the grave.”

“But Chanyeol!” Both Jongin and Kris spoke at the same time, before being interrupted by Chanyeol who raised his hand up that caused his two best friends to close their mouth and was forced to listen to what he had to say for a reason to keeping this from Baekhyun and what he would feel when he did.

Chanyeol smiles at them. “I’m going to be okay. I’m going to be fine. Hasn’t it always been like this?”

Jongin slams his hands on the table, causing several pair of eyes to look at their table with the ruckus, yet they were too busy caught up in their own trouble to even see it. “You’re so selfish! I can’t believe you even have the nerve to keep this charade until the end without Baekhyun knowing it! You’re so selfish, Chanyeol. Didn’t you ever think that Baekhyun deserves to know this?”

Jongin’s enraged. Enraged by the fact that Chanyeol could keep this all by himself without telling Baekhyun. How he had to nerve to keep this until the day he died and by the fact that if he didn’t come today, he wouldn’t have known that Chanyeol is blind without Kris explaining to him everything. He wants to smack the living out of Chanyeol and tell him that this is wrong. That what he is planning is terribly, utterly wrong. That he shouldn’t be doing this and that Baekhyun deserves to know this horrible truth.

Yet even with his words, Chanyeol doesn’t look affected, but rather looked irritated. “He doesn’t deserve to know, Jongin,” he flatly says, eyes boring at Jongin after locating where the younger’s voice was. “He won’t know I’m blind and I’ll find my way out eventually with all of this without him knowing. I’m going to leave after I settled what I’m supposed to do here.”

The truth. The truth that isn’t supposed to happen, yet already planned; a loud crackle was heard inside the coffee shop. Chanyeol felt the resonating pain on his cheek, the same cheek that Baekhyun slapped and it caused a greater pain that it brought tears on his eyes for a moment. Jongin had tears falling from his cheeks, sadness and anger mixed together within his eyes as silence ensued among them.

A little while, Jongin grits his teeth and yells at him. “I hate you! Fine! Do what you want! See if I care if you got hit by a car or die! Don’t even think I’ll see you ever again!” He glared at Chanyeol one last time before storming off the coffee shop. All of the attention is mostly at them now and Kris apologized at the ruckus they made and little while, the coffee shop was back to its busy self with the murmurs and fragrance of the dark, rich brown coffee.

When things are settled, Kris worriedly looks at Chanyeol and the red cheek that burns with heat and pain made Kris mutter some curses for Jongin.  Chanyeol sighs, hesitantly touching his burning cheek with his fingertips before he softly breathes out, “No, it’s okay Kris. I deserve it. What Jongin said is true. I am selfish, but…” he pauses a bit to hiss when he came in contact with his cheek that sends Kris more worried than ever, opting the decision to get some ointment for him, yet the smile that Chanyeol has on his face made him freeze on his seat, wanting to hear what the younger has to say next.  “This is who I am, right? I’ve been always selfish, but I don’t regret it.”

There’s something cracking, but Kris doesn’t know what it is. He held Chanyeol’s hand when the latter placed down his other hand on his lap, trying to warm the cold hand with the best of his abilities and looks at Chanyeol who had a pained smile plastered on his face, bitter and forced.

His heart broke.

“Are you sure you won’t regret this Chanyeol? Are you determined enough to keep this charade until the end without Baekhyun knowing your secret?”

A tear left his eye without him knowing and Kris knows that he’s enduring it too much and for too long.

“I-it’s better this way Kris. I don’t want him to hurt him just like last time,” he stutters a bit, biting back a shaky sigh and instead let the tears fall from his eyes when Kris asked him for the final time.

“Is that only the reason?”

‘No. It isn’t. But this is for the best, so bear with me and keep this secret until the fire dies and everything turns black.’

“….Yes. Yes it is.”

‘I love him. That’s why I’ll keep this secret with me so that he won’t be hurt again just like last time.’

Bitter smile resonates with pain and hushed secret that reflects the broken image of a boy who used to be a cheerful person that went to a terrible downfall by the phoenix never granting his only one and simple wish.

Kris lets out a long, tired and exasperated sigh.

Everything is pretty much ed up. From Chanyeol’s blindness, secrets to keep from Baekhyun and Jongin that leads to a crumpled friendship; Kris knows that this is something he can’t handle all by himself and probably won’t be easy to solve, not when Jongin is fuming in anger and won’t even care what will happen to Chanyeol and the fact that he needs to keep this secret from his own step-brother.

It makes him worry and think too much that it brought him a great migraine. There were too many things to think through that Kris decided to go to their usual bar where they always hang out often. Abandoning his coat in his car, Kris takes the leisure to loosen his tie before taking his shot of Sea Breeze. Joon casted him a worried glance when Kris took his 7^th shot for the night.

Joon knows little bit of the details and he’s worried that Kris may drink himself to oblivion and hurt himself in the process. He keeps an eye on him for the meantime until someone came and orders a shot of Flaming Dr. Pepper which made Joon frowns a bit when he recognized the man.

“Huang,” Joon calls him by his last name and the said man gives him a tight smile. Joon rolled his eyes, his left hand grabbing the amaretto liquor and 151 proof rum while his other hand takes a shot and pint glass and lighter nearby.  Pouring the shot glass with a ¾ full of amaretto, Joon eyes Tao with mild irritation as he slowly floats the overproof rum to fill the entire shot glass. Tao whistles in the midst of the noisy club music and Joon takes the cue to pour the beer in the pint glass and pushes the glass of beer to the younger.

Watching in mild awe, Joon proudly ignites the shot glass and drops it to the beer, spreading the flame around and burn in bright red. He gives Tao a small smile and Tao returns it with a blow of the flame and drank it in one gulp; extracting the burning feeling in his throat down to his body that spreads the fire of warmth and heat.

“Beautiful masterpiece, isn’t it?” Joon comments nonchantly and the younger male agrees with a nod of his head, holding up a finger making Joon groan in frustration. Tao laughs at his reaction, shaking his head as he takes out his wallet to get some bills.

“Not for me, . It’s for him. I thought that he maybe could like some heat?”

Joon hands him a piece of paper and pen after Tao had mentioned him. Joon sneers at him when he took the paper from him, causing Tao to smirk at him in return. “You’re so ed up, Tao. I don’t even want to know why you’re doing this. You’ve hurt him too much and you’re already destroying him until he cracks from all of this .”

“He’s already destroyed Joon. A little more and everything will be back to normal,” Tao whispers with a cold edge in his voice as if he’s hiding this little things from the walls that will spread it to the puppeteer who controls his very strings. Joon looks at him in confusion, but Tao only slid $1000 and took his leave, not even bothering to spare another glance to him and the broken man.

Joon watches his retreating figure fades among the crowd before he sighs and approaches Kris who was drinking his 11^th shot for the night. He takes over Nae Ra, smiling at the girl who gives him the spot to serve the good-looking man with a little bit disappointment, but nonetheless left them alone which made Joon grateful.

He looks at Kris almost draining the bottle of whiskey he gave him after he left to serve Tao. He grits his teeth after realizing the little things that caused Kris to be like this and bites back a frustrated sigh as he slid the paper to Kris and prepares the Flaming Dr. Pepper. Kris, on the other hand, looks at the piece of paper with his sight wavering to left and right and he shakes his head in attempt to stabilize his focus and picks the paper up; words in a jumble and the room spinning a bit than usual.

“What’s this?” His words slur a bit, but Joon catches it without a fail even with the noisy background and pushes the glass of beer to him, holding the shot glass in his hand and the other one with a lighter ready to ignite the waiting crackle. Joon doesn’t answer him and Kris squints his eyes a bit to read the words on the piece of paper.

Just a little more.

Joon ignites the shot and drops it into the beer, igniting the flame of shock and realization as Kris looks at the paper in daze with the burning feeling in his chest that he felt again back then.

‘Tao. What are you up to?’

“Where have you been Zitao?” Mr. Huang’s voice dripped with curiosity and coldness, yet Tao merely glanced at him as he continued to walk his way up to his room, ignoring his father completely. Mr. Huang grumbles under his breath, saying something like ‘brat’ along the lines before placing the newspaper on the coffee table.

Mrs. Huang purses her lips, eyeing her husband with a knowing look. Mr. Huang glares at her in response when he caught her looking at him like that, but Mrs. Huang looks unaffected by his cold glare.

“You do know that it’s because of you that he’s like that, right?” Mrs. Huang points out the obvious fact, rolling her eyes when her husband only snickered in reply to her salt. Combing his hair with his hand, his dark, rich brown hair compliments his look very well under the bright chandelier that lights up the large room that glitters with gold, porcelain and silver royalty of things that surrounds them.

“It’s not like my fault that things went this way. I gave him choices and I did everything for his future. For our clan. For our ancestors. It’s a promise that I have to fulfil after my sister died back then.” Mr. Huang’s demeanour changed 180 degrees and Mrs. Huang sighed tiredly at the reason she heard several times now.

Her golden ring glints as she stares at it, moving to focus her attention to her newly manicured nails before replying to her husband’s reason. “But it’s his life, Chun. You robbed him of his youth and life. You destroyed him and you still have the guts to tell me the reason because of that pathetic promise you’ve been holding on for years?”

Mrs. Huang, also known as, Huang Yi (meaning bright justice) stood up with her elegant cocktail dress that billows below her knees gracefully. Her onyx orbs glint with disappointment as she gazed at her husband before she takes her leave to attend to her son. Chun watched her go without a word, feeling nothing but pain in his heart. What Yi had said was true, but a promise is a promise. If he has to destroy his son more, turn him into ash, then so be it.

Everything must be kept in order.

“Mun!”

Clothed in black suit and golden sash clipped with a white chrysanthemum on the side, Mun bowed his head as he stopped beside Chun. “Yes, my lord?”

“Bring Wu Yi fan here.”

Mun flicked his gaze to his lord for a second, wondering a bit why he wanted to see Kris but didn’t say anything.

“Yes, my lord.”

Been away for a month, so sorry about that. School stuffs and every day is busy and hectic. Tight schedule and all. How are things?

Sehun/Luhan scene will be on the next chapter. Hopefully.

Say, what do you think about this chapter? Mind to fill me in what had happened with every pairing for the past few chapters?

I'll update soon! Hopefully not another month, but yeah.

XOXO