Silencio Bella

Hope

They say that love is nothing more, but a game. A game that fate highly favours than any other games. A game of joy and pain. The pain that extracted from the love as a disguise of the future they hold that they never knew of. The love that they shared together throughout the numbered days filled with smiles and laughter of memories that dissipates into a swirl of breathless water and calm. Despite having to experience both pain and joy at the same time, what happens next differ the result of the ending they wanted to have.

Six couples. Twelve people. Six left and the remaining six were left behind—enduring the pain and confusion that their hearts bore.

 Six men losing their half so easily and the pain they felt was too unbearable to distinguish. Wasting their time in drinking, crying and questioning the life they had, wondering what they did wrong; they indulge themselves in lamentation and of wandering comfort. They lived the days countless time, yet they didn’t live at all. Instead, they drown themselves in weaving through the days without a single matter of thought, because their heart and mind were troubled. Fused with endless nagging of emotions that continued to stir them up, leaving them withering each day.

They say that there is something that always marks the beginning and that something may also serves the ending of everything they had. Others said that it is marked by first love, by act of kindness or by the regret of the past. The bounds of love never ending of what it truly meant.

But no matter how much they are in pain. No matter how much they are lost in time. No matter how many times they stumble on the path they walk. They would always get up. Enduring everything and face the day up ahead with a raised chin and burning determination to seek out and accomplish the day’s goal. They have the endless passion of surviving the ocean of pain and confusion, because they have something that will make them push through without holding back. Something that ignited the candle of a better ending.

Something that keeps them alive and living.

Hope.

The smell of coffee fills the air, vibrant and fresh. The taste of chocolate marble sliding down to an everlasting touch of pleasure livens up the sense of burning passion of sweetness. With the cheerful clunk of the bell, a harmonious greeting of staffs welcomes the customers with pleasant smiles. The touch of vivid tint of scattered hue extracts into scale of light and dark, but mostly infused with light that brightens up the café with a hum of warmth and store of delight.

People stood in three lines, waiting for their turn to order. Others sat on the available seats and tables, one and two or three, tasting the dulcet and dish with section of high school and college students hauled up into projects and essays. Dates of one and doubles were settled at the far corner, subtle movements of gesture of love and flirtation. Kids of youthful smile, cream sweetness decorate their face and the chortle of happiness dissipates into a silent buzz then nothing.

“Luhan.”

“Yeah?”

Clothed in mahogany loose button-down and dark jeans paired with onyx sneakers and hair in vibrant mocha styled messily, yet so perfectly adorned his body stature and youth, Luhan is a beauty that is embedded with a mark of epitome beauty that even Aphrodite is jealous of him. Though seemingly perfect and beautiful man, the said man is said to be tuned out from everything. Lost somewhere in his ocean of thinking and has somewhat drowned himself into a sleeping conclusion while he is at it until someone had kindly called his name out, quite stern, yet filled with subtle worry, which pulled him out from his slumber and goes back to reality and replies with a casual answer.

“Don’t go yeah on me, Luhan. I know you’re not listening.”

Luhan disgruntled dismissively. “I did. You’re just too dumb not to notice it.”

Tia rolled her eyes and scoffed back at him. “Maybe I am, but as far as I know, I’m still older and pretty much highly intellectual than you. And I know you’re not listening to me. If you were, what was the last sentence that I said before this conversation even started?”

Luhan stared at her before looking away and muttered something that Tia couldn’t distinguish, but one thing she knew is that Luhan didn’t really listen. She looks at the young male in front of her. Seemingly strong and healthy, but she knew otherwise. In her eyes, she saw a weary and grieving young man whose heart is almost at its limits, yet still kept beating for the one he loves.

He almost looks dead. Almost, but the small burning hope that is present within the struggling heart and soul kept him alive and living. It has been so long since she last saw Luhan and it was only last 3 years ago since they met again, when Luhan was nearly at the doorsteps of death wherein she pulled him up and stitched him up even in the wrong ways. It is the only thing she could do to make Luhan get himself together again.

When she saw the slip of pain that passed through Luhan’s face, she already knew what he was thinking so deep.

“Is it about him?” she asks even though she knew who it was, yet she still asked, because it is the right thing to do. Luhan didn’t answer her, but merely took a sip on his Americano and Tia thinks that they’re both good together. Silence enveloped them quite quick, even the children’s laughter and the buzzing noise of the café didn’t help at all.

When Luhan placed down the cup on the saucer, Tia noticed that the younger had already finished his drink and he abruptly stood up that caught her in surprise. 

“You’re heading out?” Tia looks at him with a raised eyebrow and Luhan merely shrugs and gives her a curt nod.

“I need to go to the hospital. Dr. Lee is probably looking for me and the kids will be mad at me if I’m going to be late,” Luhan replies, lips curling into a small smile at the thought of the kids with their upset reactions. Tia smiles a bit and nods her head, gesturing him to go.

“Fine, I’ll let you go for now. Just give me the signed papers by the end of this week then I’ll let you know if I got something, okay?” There was a glint of stern authority in her eyes that Luhan smirked at and leaves the café without looking back. Tia scoffs at his arrogant response and tries to drink her coffee down.

Not too soon, a young man took Luhan’s seat previously and chuckles at Tia’s distraught face. Crossing his legs, he comfortably relaxed his back on the chair, a playful smile adorning his face.

“Is the latte too sweet that it got your face so ugly?” the young man teased and Tia glowers at him in hatred.

“Shut up. I don’t need you to add to my misery, Lucas. And it’s not latte. It’s cappuccino.”

Lucas ignores the last two sentences and dramatically says, “But you love me!”

Tia threatens to throw her coffee to his face making him raise both his hands up in defeat and gave Tia a concerned look when she exasperatedly sighs.

“Really now, what’s bothering you?” Lucas asks and Tia could only do was sigh again and drink her coffee which she pulls away immediately and places the cup on the saucer with a scowl on her face.

“And there you go again. Your ugly face is back,” Lucas comments flatly and Tia threw him a glare before letting out a third sigh. Looking outside through the large glass, her face fell into blankness, yet when Lucas saw the glint of emotions that reflected from her eyes; he knew that this ‘something’ is a serious matter to deal with.

“Pity him. Really. His life so perfectly constructed for fate’s puppet play which I deem so utterly unfortunate. 10 long painful years and he haven’t even breathed once. I feel so sorry for his life. Everything will be difficult throughout his life, yet…” Tia trailed off and Lucas his head a bit at the side, curious what the unsaid words were.

“Yet?”

Her lips curve into a sad smile as she closed her eyes in a peaceful manner that Lucas thought that it was mesmerizing for a moment.

“Yet an ending is what fate couldn’t control. It’s destiny’s duty to make the ending and also theirs.”

The clunk of the bell drifts along, signalling the staffs of another customer and they greeted them with a chorus of ‘good morning! Welcome!’ and the soft scent of coffee wafts through the air, piercing and bitter, yet so delightfully good mixing with the lavender smell of the flowers that bloomed on the small plantation that is intact on the walls that seemed to agree.

“You’re late again, Luhan,” Dr. Lee says flatly and Luhan sends her an awkward smile. Dr. Lee sighs and motions for Luhan to get in uniform and Luhan gladly abides. When he finished changing clothes, Dr. Lee hands him his clipboard and a can of raspberry juice.

“Give it to Dr. Moon. He might lose it when he doesn’t get his juice.”

Luhan nods his head obediently, but when he takes a look at the can, he realized something and looks at Dr. Lee. “But where will I find him, Dr. Lee?”

Dr. Lee looks at him and waves her hand lazily. “At the children’s department. The room next to where you are stationed.”

Luhan nods his head and bids his goodbye before heading off to the children’s department. He greeted fellow nurses, doctors and patients along the way, a smile painted on his faces as he does so. When he arrived at the northeast wing of the hospital, his smile turned much wider than before when he slowly approached his room. The door opened from the room that he was stationed at and saw a nurse leaving from the room.

“Nurse Min!” Luhan calls her out and the nurse looks at him in surprise and smiled.

“Nurse Luhan. It’s nice to see you. I’ve done setting the food for the kids and Dr. Jung is with them at the moment. You might go and help him because I assure you that the kids will probably bite him to death this time,” Min playfully suggests and both of them laughed. Luhan bids her goodbye and opens the door when he felt something heavy on his leg. Chuckling, he pries away the arms that was wrapped securely around his leg and carries the young boy on his arms.

“Lulu hyung!”

“Hey there little guy. It’s nice to see you again.” Luhan ruffles his hair and the boy whine in disapproval making him chuckle. However, his amusement was abruptly stopped when he heard a crash. Looking where the crash was, he laughed at the scene without much hesitation.

“Screw you, Luhan. Help me here! YAH!” Daehyun screeches when a young girl bits his arm. Several kids were latched to him, making fun and a mess of him. His hair was untidy, lab coat in different colours and several bite marks were seen on his arms. A disaster, Luhan thought. A complete disaster.

He shakes his head in dismay and puts the boy down and approaches the poor doctor and saves him from humiliation and before his pride was completely destroyed. Thankfully, the kids stopped harassing the poor doctor instead they latched themselves to Luhan, whining and disapproving his late appearance. Their upset faces made Luhan’s heart melt and he crouches and apologizes to them with a pleading look. But the kids didn’t seem to be affected by it, so Luhan tried to make it as he was crying which the children immediately hug him tightly and apologizes and says they forgive him.

He laughs heartily and hums. He pats their head and looks at them with his gentle eyes and smiles.

“Don’t harass Dr. Jung anymore, okay? He’s getting old already (YAH!) and he needs love more. So when he comes here again, I want you to behave properly, okay?” Luhan tries to convince them, but the kids didn’t seem to agree with him. He sighs and takes the little hands of a blind little girl who pouts at him.

“Please?”

The blind girl sighs and mutters a ‘yes’ and all of them chorused an ‘okay’ to which he smiles widely and hugs them. He pulls away and claps his hands in a cheerful manner.

“Since that’s done. Let’s eat!” he announces and the kids dispersed quickly. Taking their designated seats and stuff their mouths with the prepared food while Luhan watches them like a father with a proud smile. Daehyun approaches him with a scowl on his face and Luhan pats his back comfortingly.

“They’ll love you soon.”

“I can’t believe they listen to you.”

“Because I’m their mother.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“You’re just jealous that they don’t like you at all.” Luhan smirks and Daehyun glowers at him before giving up by letting out a moan of exhaustion.

“I give up. You take care of them. I don’t care anymore. If you ever need me, you could visit my grave,” Daehyun mutters and Luhan mumbles an ‘okay’ when they both suddenly jumps in shock when they heard a crash by the next room which the kids didn’t mind at all, seemingly nothing for them at all.

“What was that?” Luhan asked and they both looked at each other before they heard another crash.

Daehyun ponders for awhile and realized what was wrong.

“Did you give Jongup’s raspberry juice?”

“Thank and sorry, Luhan,” the psychologist apologizes solemnly and Luhan laughs it off.

“Don’t worry, Dr. Moon! Just be glad that you didn’t bang your head on the wall like last time,” Luhan replies with a grin and the doctor grimaced at the memory before. It wasn’t really pleasant. He was always like this when he doesn’t get his juice and thankfully, Luhan got in time before he completely lost his mind. Though Daehyun’s participation wasn’t really that required. His cheek hurts more than ever.

Daehyun ‘tsk-ed’ and shakes his head. “What do we do with you? Can’t really fix your habit, huh?”

Jongup scowls, but never replied back. Luhan could only watch the two doctors and something pops up in his mind and the words were immediately out of his mouth.

“Where’s Dr. Suho?”

Both doctors look at him quizzically, and Jongup gladly gave the answer he needed.

“He’s at his office. Locked up since yesterday. We never heard from him.” And Luhan understood what he meant. He didn’t want him to go and see Suho. Though simple his words were, Luhan grew accustomed to Jongup’s words because it is much as like Daehyun’s way of talking. Simple and subtle the meaning was, yet so easy to understand the lingering meaning it lays hidden.

They chatted for bit and when time had passed by a bit too fast, Luhan takes his leave first and wanders around the hallways, admiring the wall paintings that never cease to amaze him no matter how long he had worked in the hospital. It always gave him a sense of calmness and comfort and was glad that the hospital gave a warm comfort for the sick.

Along the admiration and warm, vibrant colours of the walls, Luhan found himself bumping into a hard wall which turned out to be not a wall, but rather a chest and Luhan recognizes the man who he bumped into.

“Oh, it’s you, Kris. Are you visiting him again?” Luhan asks, knowing that Kris always comes for him and never failed a day to visit him even if the latter was too exhausted to even move, but only will stop until he got extra work to handle. Kris gives him a short nod, a slight bitterness imprinted on his face. Luhan ‘ohh-ed’ and nods his head to himself knowingly.

“But I’m done for now. I’ll check up on him again after a few days maybe. I’ve got some work piled on my shoulders,” Kris adds and smiles at the older male. Luhan felt a bit eased that the topic didn’t bothered Kris too much and he was glad for it. When their conversation didn’t seem to continue anymore, Kris bids his goodbye and takes his leave.

Saved from the awkward position, Luhan heads off to the canteen to grab some food to eat. When he got there, he bumps into a slightly short man with auburn hair and onyx eyes for the second time of the day.

“Minseok!”

Said male looks at him with a surprised look before shifting into a look of recognition; Minseok greets him with a smile.

“Good morning, Luhan. Grabbing something to eat?” Minseok asks and Luhan smiles at him. Doctors, patients and some nurses were present in the canteen during this time of hour and the two were part of it, yet it happens so rarely that they meet up in the canteen during morning. Mostly they meet each other during the afternoon, but rarely in the morning and evening. So when they met up today, it caught them surprise that they bumped into each other.

Luhan took a tray and helps himself with whatever the food is served for today and follows Minseok to the table where both of them sat together and for the first few moments, eats in silence. When the silence that veiled them couldn’t be handled anymore, Luhan spoke to break it.

“So, how’s Jongdae? Is he doing fine? Did he kick you out again?”

Minseok looks up to him with tired eyes, before bringing up his lips into a tight smile and scoops a serving of rice and fish, covering up the look of pain that settled on his face. Minseok didn’t answer for awhile. He just ate and Luhan didn’t pester him with anymore questions and ate his food silently when he realized he once again brought up a sensitive topic.

After a few seconds, he slowly sets down his spoon on his tray and Luhan looked at him in wondering.

“Jongdae is fine. Not getting worse, but not getting better either. He got a lot of things to handle and both his shoulders and heart is burdened, so I took the initiative to leave. So no, he didn’t kick me out.”

Luhan wanted to feel remorseful, but when he heard the last two sentences; he badly wants to scoff at the ridiculous lie. Instead of scoffing, he rolled his eyes and stares at Minseok who stares back with a curious gaze.

“Liar.”

“What?”

“Jongdae kicked you out,” Luhan bluntly states and Minseok was startled by the statement that it rendered him speechless for a moment. When Minseok didn’t fight back, Luhan took it as a yes and shakes his head. By his action, Minseok snapped back to the reality and quickly denied it.

“No, that’s not true. Jongd-," Minseok tries to defend his statement, but was cut off.

“Stop covering for him, Minseok,” Luhan cuts in. “It’s all written on your face. The pain. The exhaustion. I mean, look at yourself. You’ve become thinner over the past years and the light on your eyes had already died out. Since when was the last time you looked yourself at the mirror?”

Worry and concern were evident on Luhan’s face now and somehow, Minseok feels ashamed to look at him when he realized that Luhan is right. He didn’t really pay much attention to himself that much anymore, but mostly to Jongdae. For the past 3 years were all, but repentance and paying for the crime he did. It took a lot of toll on him, but for Minseok, as long as he pays for his crime and somehow his debt is gradually decreasing; he thinks that it doesn’t matter anymore.

Minseok just smiled and Luhan’s heart aches for him.

“I’m fine. Everything will be fine, Luhan. It doesn’t matter who is hurting. I love him. And that only matters.”

Luhan didn’t speak anymore. When he saw the glistening tears on the latter’s eyes that never fell, he kept his mouth shut. Hurting they were that it almost intolerable to watch them suffer, yet fate isn’t done yet. For this is the beginning of the end.

It’s only half the day and it already drained all the energy from Luhan’s body. He didn’t know what happened, but he thinks that because of all the running he did along the hallways and the kids that latched on his whole body may have been the cause of his loss of energy. Thankfully, he’s done in his shift and could go back to the hotel to attend the meeting.

Wait. Meeting? Luhan cursed under his breath that he might die early if he’s going to attend this damn meeting that he doesn’t care at all. Nodding his head with his decision, he takes out his phone and pressed the speed-dial #5 and waits for the call to be picked up.

After a few rings, the call is picked up and Luhan breathes out in relief that his secretary is present, because if she isn’t at the office, he might have to attend the meeting without another choice. And that would cause a problem.

“Sir? What may I help you with?”

“Yuan, I need you to attend the meeting that is going to be held on Mornville Heights around 1:45 pm sharp.”

Luhan heard a few shuffling before Yuan spoke in a panicked voice. “But sir! This is the meeting with the Mornville Heights! They required your presence highly and if they were to see me in your behalf; I cannot guarantee what the outcome would be.”

Luhan growls and Yuan quickly add in, “Would you like to cancel the meeting?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Luhan closes his eyes and mutters a ‘yes’. Yuan didn’t spoke for a moment and when she did, she only said ‘yes, sir’ and Luhan takes it as a cue to hang up. He knew that Yuan wouldn’t disobey him and would mostly do most of his work. Yuan had been a great secretary of his and had been one of the reasons that kept him moving on.

When the breeze passed by, Luhan looks up and felt himself floating. The sun brightly showered its warmth and light, yet Luhan felt a bit cold. He thinks that it’s from the wind, but even when the wind stops, he feels cold and he knows that it’s different.

Between the sudden abrupt of breathing and black out, Luhan finds himself drowning. Drowning so deep inside the vast ocean that it suffocates him, too much and it hurts. It took him a moment to realize that he can’t move his body no matter what he does and that he is going to fall in to the deepest part of the ocean.

That he won’t ever get back up.

“Luhan hyung.”

Luhan opens his eyes slowly, eyes filled with tears that never came out and the exhaustion and pain that veiled around his body was too offset on the wonderful balcony of the hospital. He thought of Minseok. Minseok of who is like him also. A reflection, almost, but different in some ways.

Both of them were hurting, exhausted and grieving, yet both of them were enduring it. Minseok endured for the sake of paying his crime and for the restoration of his love. Luhan did it for another reason. He did it for the hope of reuniting with the person he never saw for 10 years. Minseok had Jongdae with him. But Luhan doesn’t have Sehun by his side.

Luhan felt his heart throb in pain, loud and clear, and he tries to ignore it by closing his eyes. Not wanting to feel it, yet it vibrates on his ears, but he endures. When he opened his eyes, he saw a butterfly passed by. Monochromatic was its colour.

He was mesmerized a bit, feeling that the butterfly reflected him and the others who are in pain also. He watches the butterfly flaps its wings through the air, small, tiny wings that flows with ethereal beauty of the unknown. It’s a beauty that is to be regarded with great praise, yet Luhan noticed that it is lonely. A lonely butterfly that flies alone with its monochromatic wings.

“Lonely…lonely…butterfly. Where are you going?”

A chuckle left his lips, bitter and strained.

3 years had passed since that fateful event and Luhan had never once forgotten about it. It became his nightmare. Every night. Every time he would close his eyes, he would find himself drowning or wandering lost in a dark forest, but most of it was based on the reality; reality that would forever cause him endless grief and pain.

Sehun gave back the ring and it lost its shine. Luhan always have it with him. Tied up with tiny chains the wrapped delicately around his neck. Sehun had given up on his hope and Luhan doesn’t blame him for that. He knew that younger male had suffered just enough and it is his turn to hope a bit more, to wait more, because he loves the younger too much that he can’t bear to let go.

They never met, that’s why Luhan continued to live. When Sehun told him that they are over in the paper, Luhan couldn’t bear it at first, yet when he realized that it was merely a part of a paper; he knew that they weren’t over yet. Baseless. Not true because it is written not said. He says to himself that their break up didn’t occur unless they meet. They never met, so Luhan hoped.

Until the day they meet and if Sehun says that he doesn’t want it anymore. Luhan promises he’ll let Sehun go. Everything. Even the memories and love, he’ll forget and let him go, because if he won’t give up everything. He’ll only hurt.

That’s why until they meet and hear the words from Sehun’s mouth, he’ll continue to live. To hope. Until that day comes, he’ll continue to love him forever more.

And so...hi! It's nice to see you all again. * waves hand*

Pardon me if I'm quite late. I was suppose to post it yesterday, but I somehow changed some of the scenes and got carried away watching Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice...so.....yeah. Forgive me and I hope you like the first chapter! It's a mess, but I hope it will do for now! The others will be up next and maybe I'll update by this Monday.

And thank you for waiting! I'm truly thankful and hope to hear your what you think of the first chapter. :)

Love you and Ciao~