Dear Diary,

I am sobbing right now. I am not lying to you at all. What he said is hurting me. I have any right to make sure, right? He has held this kind of “playboy” title and I can’t even want to have some assurances? Does this mean he doesn’t love me like he said before? He just gave up so easily.

I ran after he said that. I knew he didn’t even try to chase me and that hurt me more. I ran into the bus shelter and some students were staring to me even more. I didn’t care what they thought; I just sobbed but I tried to wipe my tears out. I kept sobbing until I got into my room and now. Thankfully, my mother hasn’t gotten back so I don’t have to answer her curios questions.

Did I do it wrong? He was telling me that he loved me but once I asked for a bit of…I don’t know, promises? He just bailed out by saying that none of us were sure. I am sure that I like him…no, I love him, as I have told you, diary, but he didn’t want to make it sure. I feel like I am the dumbest person around because I even have this feeling for him.

Dear Diary,

“Noona!”  Yun Ho knocked my door several times after calling me. I wiped my tears and unlocked the door. I locked it before because I didn’t want him to barge into my room easily and saw me like this.

“What?”  I asked as I opened the door.

“Someone is searching for you.”  He just told me that and walks away. I walked out from the room and went to the living room, because Yun Ho didn’t tell me further on where this ‘someone’ was waiting for me.

I gasped as I entered the living room.

That ‘someone’ is Jong In oppa’s mother. Yeah, Mrs. Kim.

No kidding.

She smiled slightly to me and I awkwardly walked to approach her. Once I bowed to her, she talked to me, “come, sit here. I want to talk to you about some things.”

And so, I obediently sat near her. I hadn’t seen my mother at all.

“I am sorry, Mrs. Kim, but my mother isn’t here.”

“I want to talk to you about Jong In.”  I gulped. What did she know about him? I didn’t expect Jong In oppa to be someone that usually talk or share every single of his stories to his mother.

“I know there is something between you two. For these days, after you went home because of that bullying thing, he acted rather…differently. But the main problem is that he never really talks about everything to us (so he is not a momma boy, just saying) so I can’t really figure out about anything. However, whenever I mentioned you and asked him to visit you, his face was changed. From that, I knew something was, or maybe is, going on between you two. Mind to tell me what is it?”

I just stared deeply to the floor (yes, I looked down) when she said what she wanted and after she stated the question. I didn’t know where to begin the story. Did I have to begin it with So Hyun – Se Hoon oppa? Or should I begin it with the ball incident? I didn’t know what to do.

“It’s….rather complicated, Mrs. Kim. I don’t know where to begin.”

“Just stay calm. I don’t need details. Just enlighten me about the situation.”

“I….I just….I think…I like your…son and he said that…..he…”  I began to stutter, “he…..liked me too…but when I asked, I mean I really asked, about his assurance….he…he walked out.”

She spaced out for a while after I said the statement. I kept hanging my head low as the silent was taking us.

“I see,”  she finally said, “that explained his fascination toward you.”

“What?”  She just said something that was similar to what Se Hoon oppa said.  

“He used to talk about you a lot. I remember the first time he talked about you. He did say something about hitting you with a ball. And then he said there was this crazy girl who thought that she could carry on a crazy plan that he thought it would fail miserably. He also said about breaking up with his current girlfriend because he felt like cheating on her; he thought about someone else when he was with her. I just didn’t realize it because he liked to explain something randomly. I thought they were just blabbers from him.”

I just stared to her when she explained everything.

“What…?”  That is the only thing I could speak. I was speechless.

However, she smiled motherly to me, “I am telling the truth. Now that I know a bit, I think I can go back to my house properly.”  She then got up. I immediately got up too and bowed to her. She just patted my shoulder and walked out from our house.

What did just happen?

“Noona, what is it?”  Yun Ho came out from his bedroom and asked me. I just kept quiet because, again, I didn’t know where to begin.

“Why did Mrs. Kim come here? I was so surprised when she asked about you. I didn’t even know that you had come home.”

“She….she just wanted to ask about Jong In oppa.”

“Did something happen between you two?”  asked him again. I nodded. Maybe Yun Ho wasn’t my best choice, but he is my brother. I can tell many things to him. And so I did. He, surprisingly, was quiet and listening to my explanation. I told him about everything.

“Wow, that is a mess, noona.”  That is his statement toward this situation.

“I know. I mean, I made this scheme and everything is just—“

“No, I am not stating about that ridiculous plan that you made for your friend, even though, if you ask my opinion, that is a mess too. I am stating about you and Jong In hyung. You two clearly have feelings for each other.”

“I did tell you that he told me—“

“Yeah, but it was not right,”  he stated again. I wonder where he has picked up some knowledge about love like this….maybe he has a girlfriend? I have to push him to tell me that!  “you two have to work it out somehow. If you want to make it clear, you two should, actually, understand each other.”

“Where did you learn this kind of thing?”  His face was blushed and I knew I was right. He is seeing someone!

“No….ignore me. This is not about me. This is about—“  His words stopped when there was a bell ringing. That means another guest was coming. He got up and opened the door. I wasn’t thinking of anyone until Yun Ho spoke, “noona, this is Kim So Hyun. She said she is your friend.” 

I turned and saw her. She was standing awkwardly and waved to me. I got up and we stared to each other for a while.

“I would like to talk to you,”  she finally spoke. I smiled because, finally, I could speak to her!

“We can talk in my room.”  And so we went to my room. After admiring my room (or so I thought, because her eyes were examining my room) she sat on the bed, following me who sat first.

“What is it?”  I asked, carefully, I might add.

“I want to ask an apology from you.”

“What for? There is nothing—“

“I blamed you for everything, when actually you only wanted to help me,”  she said, “you helped me by making that scheme. I get it. I just got jelaous when you and him are close suddenly. I felt like someone is stabbing me from behind. I—“

“That’s okay, So Hyun-ah,”  I said, “I would probably do the same if I were you,”  and I wasn’t lying. I would definitely become angry if I were her.

“I am here to say I am sorry. Will you forgive me?”  I nodded and we hugged. It feels so good to have your friend back again.

“I went here because I know you wouldn’t even try to backstab me. I even actually want to cheer you up,”  she said again. I frowned. For what? “I heard and saw what you and Kim Jong In sunbaenim talked about. I must say I was about to cheer until he said that you two just had to stop everything.”

I gasped. “You!”

She smiled, “I am sorry. I was so curious when I saw you two going out to the park. I followed you, and I wasn’t alone. The gossiper gank, Hye Ri and Sang Hyuk, also with Joon Myeon oppa were there too.”  I face palmed. That means everyone that is close to me was listening to the whole thing. I also felt embarrassed.

“Can I give my opinion?” 

“What is it?”

“I think you two have to lower your ego a bit.”

“What do you mean?”

“That is our main reason, me and Se Hoon oppa: ego. I was not ready to become a famous one and he wanted to become famous one. No one of us talked about it and it was like a volcano; it was waiting to erupt. And once it did, it devastated our relationship. Na Eun-ah, as your friend, I want to say that you don’t have to ask him for any assurances. I am sure when you look at how he cares about you and gives his attention to you, you will know for sure that he loves you a lot. You just have to give him the chance.”

“But I am scared,”  I finally said something after I thought about her suggestion a while, “I am scared that he—“

“If you are scared, that means you don’t have to hope for being with him. Everything has its cost. On this relationship, you have to prepare to get hurt, even though if you ask me, you will get the best revenge if he ever hurts you because there is a battalion that is ready to defend you.”  I laughed. Seriously.

But then, I thought again. Getting hurt. “But what if I get hurt like you? I mean, it is so hurtful.”

“Then you have to life with it, or better, move on. Make it as a lesson for you. I make that as a lesson for me. I get that in every relationship, honesty is the thing that should be in it.”

And I know that she is right. I think about it after she left this evening. I need to lower my ego. I need to give him the chance.

But the question is, is he also giving me the same chance?

Dear Diary,

I am happily to tell you that I am now officially Jong In oppa’s girlfriend! I finally said it! I AM HIS GIRLFRIEND!

You must be wondering.

Okay, I will tell you the truth.

Today (what happened earlier that I wrote is yesterday) I went to school with mixed feelings. I didn’t know how to face him if we accidentally met. But what made my day clear is I and So Hyun are friends again. So when I got into class, three of them cheered me as much as they can. I can’t complain, though.

Even Hak Yeon-sshi was smiling to me. I felt like he has forgiven me, at least.

And so I went everywhere today with the gank. I ate with them again, when someone’s hand yanked me. Before I processed everything, Jong In oppa dragged me into the stairs. I finally could release myself in the middle of the stairs.

“What do you want?”  I shouted to him. I didn’t plan to meet him like this.

He then turned around and my eyes were seeing his. I could see that he had somehow, same feelings with me. He had mixed feelings.

“I have thought about everything.”

“Me too.”  I said back.

“Someone told me that I should give more than I think I should,”  he continued, “he said that my ego has to be decreased somehow. If I want you to believe me, then I should do what’s best to make you believe me. If you ask me to give you some assurances in order to believe me, I should give you that. I should sacrifice something to make things right.”

I gasped. That is the same thing with what So Hyun told me yesterday!

And he was sure seeing me gasping. “What’s wrong? Is that wrong? I think it is—“

“No,”  I interrupted, “it’s just….someone else has told me the same way, but from my perspective. She said that I should give you a chance. If I want some proof, then I should let you prove it to me.”

We both were silent at that time….and we began to smile.

Somehow I got on how fool we were.

“It must be So Hyun-sshi’s opinion.”

“You must get it from Se Hoon oppa.”

“Want to bet that they are going to back together now?”

“No. I know one of us will be the loser.”  We then giggled. It felt like something heavy was lifted from you and your shoulder.

He then took my hand. My giggle suddenly stopped. “So….will you give me that chance, Son Na Eun-sshi? Will you give me the chance to prove that I am worth for you?”

“I will.”  I said that and he smiled. He then kissed my forehead, my nose and the kiss ended up onto my lips. It was my first kiss and nothing is sweeter than this.

“I swear I will not hurt you.—“

“Or we will hunt you down, Kim Jong In.”  Suddenly, a voice came into the scene. We looked up and saw our friends were smiling and waving to us. My face was red; I could feel that. I wanted to let go of him, but he kept my hand into his embrace.

“Congratulations,”  Baek Hyun-sshi said. He and Kim Jong Dae sunbaenim smiled so wide but also so devil. I don’t know what plan that they had inside their head.

“I guess the Kims need to treat us something,”  Hye Ri spoke. I got confused by some seconds before she continued, “because these two Kims just got new girlfriends.”  As the result, Joon Myeon oppa (I call him that now) grunted and Jung Eun Ji-sshi, who stood beside him, laughed out loud.

“Not just the Kims!”  Someone’s voice came, but now it came from the lower stair. As we looked, we could see Ha Young-sshi was there and smiling, “my brother needs to treat you guys as well.”  She then looked up toward where her brother was, “don’t you think I didn’t see you and So Hyun unnie kissing at the park.”

“Wait…what?”

“You two are going back together???”

Dear Diary,

This time, I should really change into a new diary. It’s not that the page has been wasted, but Jong In oppa said we should have our own diary. I am kind of liking the idea so I think I should close this diary. Thank you so much for hearing my thoughts and my experiences. It is the greatest help.

Now, I will go with him to find the new diary. It’s not just us though, Joon Myeon oppa and Se Hoon oppa will be with us with their respective girlfriends. It’s a triple date and we do this a lot now.

Thank you so much diary.

Sincerely,

Son Na Eun. 

thank you so much for waiting! This is the best ending I can make so far. Do you like it? 

I will reply the comments directly :))))

PS. I have new kaieun story (for making up this one, seriously) here it is the link (click here) 

and some of other stories that contains exopink!

1. Senorita (KyungMi as main, MyunJi, KaiEun, and HunJoo as side couples) 
2. Spy Who Loves You (ChoHan as main, KaiEun, HunJoo as side and probably KyungMi, MyunJi, and Chanyeol-Hayoung *I don't know the couple name LOL* as really-side couples hoho)
3. Thief of My Heart (HunJoo, one-shot) 

thank you so much *again* for patiently waiting 

XOXO