Youngjae stands in the doorway of the library, hovering nervously on the threshold. It’s Sunday afternoon and the library is half full of students struggling to finish their heavy workload before classes the following day, but Youngjae hardly notices them. His gaze is locked on a dark head bent over a Calculus textbook at a table in the back, near the big windows with the stained glass.

The librarian, a crochety old lady with too thick glasses, gives him a suspicious look from behind her armload of heavy books. “What are you doing, boy?” she snaps. “Are you going to come in or just stand there?” Some of the students sitting nearby snicker at his expense.

Youngjae blushes and ducks his head in apology. “Sorry, ma’am. Just looking for a place to sit.”

“Well close the door,” she snaps. “You’re letting the draft from the corridor in.” And off she goes, muttering about irresponsible children.

Youngjae takes a deep breath and finally comes all the way into the library, letting the door swing shut behind him. It’s quiet, only the rustling of turning pages and the hushed whispers about homework problems.

Gathering what little courage he has, he strides to the table in the back, where Himchan sits doing his Calculus homework. He sets his bag down on the table, rather heavily, and forces a smile when Himchan looks up at him. “Mind if I join you?”

Himchan seems a little surprised at being interrupted, but he shakes his head and gestures for Youngjae to take the seat beside him. “Not at all. I’m just doing some homework.”

“Yeah, I need to do that too,” Youngjae jokes, pulling his own Calculus textbook out and opening it to the same page. “I’m having trouble with some of these problems. Do you mind helping me work through them? I know you’re really good at Calculus.”

“Sure, I can try,” Himchan agrees, pushing his headphones down around his neck. “Which problem do you want to work on first?”

“How about number two?” Youngjae suggests, heart pounding as he scoots his chair closer, close enough that their knees are brushing together under the table.

Himchan looks at the problem: f(x) = π² + 2^x = x² +x^1/x. Determine the slope of the line perpendicular to the graph of f at x=1.

“Okay, the first thing we need to look at is the π² + 2^x,” he says.

Youngjae hesitates. Himchan is way off, and he’s sure to get the problem terribly wrong if he goes about it that way. But Youngjae is here pretending to be bad at Calculus so he can spend more time with Himchan, so pointing out his mistakes probably isn’t going to go over very well. But Youngjae doesn’t want Himchan to get a bad score on his homework either.

“Don’t you think we should start with y=x^1/x?” he suggests politely. “I think this is the only term that really requires logarithmic differentiation.”

Himchan looks at him, then stares back down at the problem for a very long time. Eventually he says, “You’re right. My bad.” He gives a half-hearted sort of smile. “We’ll start with y=x^1/x. We need to apply the natural logarithm to both sides of this equation and use the algebraic properties of logarithms, which will give us lny=lnx^1/x which equals (1/x)lnx which equals lnx over x.”

Youngjae nods. At least Himchan has got this part right. “So then what do we do?” he asks, copying the equation onto his homework paper.

“We need to differentiate both sides of the equation,” Himchan explains, running long fingers through his hair. “On the left, we need to use the quotient rule. On the right, we should use the chain rule.”

“Isn’t that backwards?” Youngjae suggests uncertainly. “We should use the chain rule on the left side since y represents a function of x, right?”

Again, Himchan stares down at his paper for a long time. Eventually he shakes his head. “You’re right. Sorry, I’m not very helpful right now.”

Youngjae taps his pencil nervously against his textbook. “Is everything okay?”

Himchan looks for a moment like he’s going to say something, but in the end he just shakes his head. “It’s fine. I’m just busy with classes and student council responsibilities,” he says, rather lamely.

Youngjae sets his pencil down. “Is there anything I can help you with? You know, with the student council? I know I’m just a class representative, but I’m a good worker and I’m sure I can help you if you.”

Himchan smiles at Youngjae’s earnestness before reaching out and ruffling his hair. “You’re a good kid,” he says. “But I’ll manage on my own. I’ve got to get going. Sorry I couldn’t help you more with your Calculus homework, but it seems like you’ve got a pretty good grasp on it anyway. You must have, to be taking Calculus as only a second year.” He gathers his belongings and slings his bag over his shoulder. “See you in student council!” And he’s gone.

Youngjae lets his head fall against his book with a dull thunk, groaning. That couldn’t have possibly gone any worse.

His phone vibrates then, loud in the quiet of the library. He snatches it up, seeing that he has a message from his best friend, Daehyun. So did you set a wedding date yet?

Frowning, Youngjae looks up. Daehyun is across the library, snacking on an apple and waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Youngjae sighs, packs up his belongings, and goes to join his best friend.

“How long have you been spying on me?” he demands crossly, sinking down into the chair beside his friend.

Daehyun takes a big bite out of his apple. “I’m not spying, dummy. I came to the library to do homework. I just happened to see you making big goo-goo eyes at Himchan the Handsome.”

“Don’t call him that,” Youngjae admonished, blushing all the way to his toes. “And I was not making goo-goo eyes at him.”

“Oh, really? Then what do you call these?” Daehyun demands, doing a pretty good imitation of Youngjae’s big-eyed interested look.

Youngjae scowls at him. “Shut up and eat your apple already.”

“I take it your flirting didn’t go well,” Daehyun says mildly, chomping away at his snack.

Youngjae sighs, resting his head on the table. “No, if you must know, it did not. I asked him to help me with my Calculus homework.”

“But you’re the top of your class in Calculus,” Daehyun points out. “Why on earth would you need help with your homework?”

“I didn’t really need help, dummy,” Youngjae grumbles. “I just wanted an excuse to spend some time with him. But I knew the material better than he did. He seems distracted by something.”

“Word on the street is that he’s got a huge unrequited crush on somebody,” Daehyun says. “But then again, I heard that from Baekhyun and you know you can’t ever really believe anything that little tells you.”

Youngjae groans some more.

Daehyun claps him on the back. “Don’t give up!” he insists, grinning broadly. “Just try and try again, right? Isn’t that your motto?”

Another groan. “Daehyun, just shut up now.”  

Ugh math is the bane of my existence OTL