“So, you’re saying that you returned the notebook to that girl?” Jongin asked as his eyes leisurely glancing around the cafeteria, and waited for Kyungsoo, Sehun, Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s arrival. As usual, when they had finished their classes, they would gather at the cafeteria and eat together. At the moment was only Suho and himself, who had already finished their classes, while the rest were still struggling with their classes and assignments.

“I did.” Suho answered, and Jongin narrowed his eyes mockingly towards the elder. There was something on Jongin's mind but he didn't want to say it. He wanted it to come naturally from Suho's mouth.

“What?” Suho began to feel slightly uncomfortable with Jongin unusual stare.

“So, how is it? I mean… How was it meeting her in real life, rather than staring at her picture like you did before."

“Why do you want to know? I guess you should know better than me, how the feeling of meeting her in real life is, since you were the one who bumped into her.”

"Well, our circumstances won't be the same even though you were quite obsessed to meet her. You even refused when I wanted to take responsibility for the thing. Besides, she didn't even look at me in the eyes. She was somehow... mysterious."

Suho chuckled and nodded slightly and agreed with Jongin's opinion, although it was a bit random. Yoonmi did look like someone who was mysterious. He only realised now that even in her picture that she gave off a mysterious vibe. But she was cold, her heart was too cold to be friendly and sweet to people, whether she knew them or not.

"She was very pretty. Much prettier than when I first saw her in that picture. Her eyes were like the depths of the ocean, dark and cold. They were just too-" Suho paused when he realised Jongin was staring at him with a wide smile. He knew that Jongin was teasing him mentally with that rotten smile of his. It was only after he noticed Jongin's smile, he realised that he shouldn't have said anything about Yoonmi in the first place. But it was already too late.

“It’s too what? Too alluring? This hyung is so funny!” Jongin scoffed as he let out a big laugh.

“Whatever.” Suho replied lazily; already lost interest to talk about the matter any further. He might end up being teased for falling in love at first sight, when he himself denied it wholeheartedly. Or, is he?

"Oh, Hyung. Look at your face! It's full of panic! I smell a love blooming at first sight nearby. Who could it be? Ah, I should've met her earlier so that I could have experienced how alluring her gaze could be." Jongin continued to tease Suho exitedly even when the latter began to ignore him. He knew that Suho had falled for that girl ever since he refused to give the notebook back to him a few days ago.

"No! What makes you think that I fell for her? I only met her once, and out first meeting didn't turn out that well either. She even smacked my head, although, I knew that she did it unintentionally, only to protect herself." Suho defended himself.

“Hyung, that’s why it's called ‘love at the first sight’. You don’t have to meet her twice or more to fall for her, once is enough!”

“I said, I’m not!”

“Oh, really?” Jongin raised his eyebrows as his eyes caught onto something that stuck out from between Suho’s book that was on the table. He sneakily pulled it out.

"If you denied the fact that you're not having that romantic, pinkish and heart pounding feelings toward her - what is this thing doing here? Don't tell me it was a souvenir that she gave you in return for your good deed." Jongin retorted as he showed off what he had just found and held it infront of Suho who was extremely shocked and panicked. He should've hid it better and muttered shamefully and wondered to himself if Yoonmi had realised that her picture was missing.

“Ya-Yah!! Give it back to me!” Suho yelled, and snatched back what he claimed to be his.

“You just got caught by me, Hyung. Now, explain yourself.”

“Er... We-Well… I’ve returned the notebook to her, bu-but…I kept this with me, so that I’d have another excuse and reason to meet her again.” Suho smiled, fixing his gentle gaze towards the picture in his hand.

“Tch, this Hyung. You just denied me a few seconds ago, and now you’re saying that you kept that picture of hers, wishing that you’ll meet her again and you're using that picture as an excuse.? Why? Why? Why? What could it be? Other than the fact that you’ve fallen for her?”

“That’s not it! It just, you know what... The only reason why I want to meet her again so badly is because of er…ehm… Sympathy? Oh, yes, yes! It’s because of my sympathy towards her. She hates winter! Why the heck would people hate this lovely season? So… Let just say that I’m just trying to help her change her mind. Simple right?” Suho tried to explain himself desperately, even though he wasn't sure if he really meant what he said or if it was just another excuse that he made to cover up his hidden feelings.

"Yeah, yeah... Nice try Hyung. But you should have made a better excuse, I'd believe you without any doubts that way. Er, Hyung! I don't think I could wait for the others any longer, I've got another unexpected lunch date to attend." Jongin replied sarcastically and redirected his gaze somewhere else distractedly. Sho tilted his head in the same direction to where Jongin was looking at.

"Yah! Are you out of your mind?! Are you going out with her?" Yah, yah, yah... She's really well known in our university for being a gold digger, and she's older than you, just in case you didn't know!" Suho almost couldn't control his expression, clearly surprised when he saw who distracted the younger's attention. At the entrance to the cafeteria, the was a girl who smiled widely and waved at Jongin and hinted him to come toward her. When did Jongin start going out with that girl? Suho really wanted to ask him, but he couldn't do it because Jongin was already getting up.

“What? Hyung, stop exaggerating. You don’t have to worry because I’m just toying with her.  She’s only four years older than me, and a year older than you, gosh! I’ll stop toying with her unless…”

“Unless what?”

“Unless you give me back my Snow Princess!” Jongin spoke jokingly and Suho’s eyes widened when he realized that the former was talking about Yoonmi. “I’m just joking! Stop glaring at me as if you’re going to eat me alive! Plus, Hyung, look at her, she’s not actually that bad, and she was the one who came onto me first, and I couldn’t resist her. I’m not a ‘picky eater’ either. What was served in front of me is the best meal!”

“Yah-” Suho was going to smack Jongin’s head for making such a horrible comparison, but Jongin dodged his hand from reaching his precious head. How could he compare a girl to food?

"There's nothing I can do if I was born to be handsome, tall... a little bit dark, but meh~ It's nothing when compared to my iness! I'm leaving, see you tomorrow, Hyung!" Jongin boasted and Suho gave him an annoyed and disgusted look before Jongin left and advanced toward the girl. He couldn't do anything to stop Jongin and just silently watched as he walked away.

“y?!  y my ! If you’re that tall, what am I then? A dwarf? I’m quite tall actually…” Suho mumbled. He pouted when he remembered that Yoomi had unintentionally praised Jongin before when she said that Jongin was tall. But remembering that only made him more pissed off. What was so good about being tall anyway? He wasn't that short to the point that he would lose his self confidence.

He was left alone with Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Sehun because Kyungsoo didn't show up and Suho felt lonely and awkward. He ended up secretly staring at the picture he took from the notebook.

“It;s just because of sympathy right? That is the only reason why I want to see you... Isn’t it?” Suho whispered to the picture as he smiled slightly. “But… If it's just about sympathy, why do I feel like I’m starting to miss you? Is it even possible for me to fall for you at first sight?” Suho kept asking, and his mind kept looking for the right answer for his own question.

 

 

Yoonmi stared with swollen eyes at Eunmi's stiff body as she laid on the hospital bed. It had already been three weeks since the accident and Eunmi was still unconscious. Within those three weeks, Yoonmi was by her side almost every day. She had rarely been home and she wouldn't go home until Eunmi was conscious. She was too guilty to leave Eunmi in the hospital by herself and alone. It was already midnight, but she couldn't sleep. It wasn't like she couldn't fall asleep but it was just that she was the one who forced herself not to sleep.

“Eunmi-ah… it’s snowing heavily now. Don’t you love snow? Get up and let’s enjoy this heart pounding scenery together…” Yoonmi whispered, and hoped that there would be some response from her unconscious twin. But unforunately, life wasn't that easy. Her wish wouldn't be granted just like that. Eunmi didn't even move.

 

“Eunmi-ah… Eunmi-ah… I, please… Wake up… Christmas was celebrated a week ago… I’m sorry for ruining your Christmas fantasy…” Yoonmi couldn’t contain her tears anymore and they slowly fell down her cheeks. She grabbed Eunmi’s hand gently and she brought it to her lips and kissed it tenderly.

‘Sometimes, our vision clears only after our eyes are washed with tears. Sometimes, we have to be broken so we can be whole again… Please stop crying, there’s still me right?’ Spontaneously, the precious advice that Eunmi used to tell her long time ago played in her mind unintentionally, and made her smile lightly, even though it was just another bitter and meaningless smile.

She could still clearly remember that time and was the one who couldn't accept the fact that their parents were gone forever. They were only ten at the time and Eunmi tried to comfort her with all her might, to show that she was a tough girl, to make sure that Yoomi would stop crying and just accept it. Yoonmi knew that Eunmi must have felt more heartbroken than she was and just pretended that she was strong enough to handle all the sad moments. And now, the only person that she had left in her life now lied unconsciously because of her. Because of her.

“You’re such a useless daughter!” Yoonmi heard a furious voice and it filled the gloomy and depressing hospital ward. She glanced at every corner of the room and tried who was the owner of the stern and angry voice. "You're the one who should be lying on that bed, not Eunmi! You're supposed to take care of each other - but look what you've done now! Your own twin sister when through such a hard time while you? The only think you can do is to stay by her side and cry all day, hoping that she'd wake up with just your tears! You're disappointing us! We'll never forgive you if her condition gets worse!" When the voice spoke for the second time, it sounded more furious than before. Yoonmi was shocked when she saw that her parent's silhouettes stood not far away from where she was sitting. The expression on their faces made Yoonmi shiver. She felt guilty and scared.

“Mum... Dad…” Yoonmi wiped her tears before she stood up and tried to shorten the distance between her parent’s silhouette and herself. But when she walked toward them, their figures vanished in a blink of eye. Yoonmi rubbed her eyes as she tried to search for her parents' figures but they were nowhere to be found. She let out a heavy sigh before her tears fell again and again. Was she hallucinating just now? Did her parents really came to ‘visit’ them?After she made sure that it was just a hallucination, she returned to her seat and stayed by Eunmi's side and stared at her with an empty look.

“Eunmi-ah… If our parents were still alive, would they blame me for everything too? Would they hate me for making you go through all these critical moments? They’d hate me for real, more than I would hate myself for causing all this trouble  …So Eunmi-ah, please wake up! Please…I’m begging you; I can’t go through this life alone. I need you…I need you….”

As Yoonmi begged and pleaded, the furious voice of her parents' could be heard in her mind, and they blamed her for everything. Desperately, Yoonmi covered her ears using both of her palms,  and hoped that the voices would drift away from her ears but the more she tried to chase the voices away, the louder it became. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

“Please, I’m sorry…It’s entirely my fault… Please, don’t do this to me!” She couldn't stand it anymore. Yoonmi screamed hysterically as the angry voice lingered in her ears. It scolded and blamed her nonstop with inmense anger.

“Please, stop!-”

“Yoonmi-ah!” Yoomni’s body rfroze when she heard that her name was called. The way that voice called her name was totally different; it was soft, gentle, and heartwarming. Slowly, she opened her eyes and her eyes caught onto a figure sat by her side with worried expression. She closed her eyes once again as she took a deep breath before she reopened them, examining her surrounding carefully before she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Yoonmi-ah, are you having a nightmare, again?”

Yoonmi didn't answer. Eunmi! Eunmi was right in front of her, staring at her and patiently waited for Yoonmi’s answer. She was not in the hospital, and Eunmi was not in an unconscious state either. She was on her bed, in her own room and at their own house. Was she dreaming just now? But it sounded and looked real in her eyes, the angry voices of her parents still echoed in her mind.

“Eunmi-ah!” Yoonmi exclaimed as she hugged her twin tightly and ignored Eunmi’s confused expression.

“What-What’s wrong? Yoonmi-ah, it was just a nightmare…Calm down…” As always, Eunmi never failed to comfort Yoonmi. Tenderly, Eunmi patted Yoonmi’s back before she caressed Yoonmi’s hair. Eunmi knew what Yoonmi dreamt about. This wasn't her first time seeing that Yoonmi had a nightmare. Every time that Yoonmi’s had a nightmare, she always talked about the same thing and even cried in her sleep. So, she could guess with no doubt that it was ‘that’ bloody incident that haunts Yoonmi even in her dream.

“Our parents would have hated me to death if they were still alive…” for the hundredth, Yoonmi kept repeating the same words. That was the only thing that could say, and begged for Eunmi’s forgiveness and blamed herself for everything for the rest of her life.

“Yoonmi-ah, stop it already. It was just a dream! Look at me; I’m right in front of you. I’m still alive! What makes you think that our late parents would hate you? You’re their daughter!” Eunmi spoke as she grabbed a couple of tissues before she wiped the cold sweat around Yoonmi’s neck and forehead. She was coma for almost a month but she managed to get through the critical time. Eunmi was totally clueless why it was that hard for Yoonmi to forget everything and stop blaming herself.

“Get some more sleep…” Eunmi said when Yoonmi looked calmer than before. After she made Yoonmi lie back on her bed, Eunmi made her way to her own room. After Eunmi left her, Yoonmi couldn’t back to sleep anymore, she was too scared that the same dream would haunt her. Slowly, she got up as from her bed and she stood near the window with her notebook in her hand, taking a look at the snowy night. She flipped through to the very end page of the notebook and for the picture she took with Eunmi, but it wasn’t there. Instantly, she flipped though every single page of the notebook but she couldn’t find the picture.

She tried to recall if she moved the picture somewhere else. But as far as she remembered, she never did that. Feeling slightly disappointed, she ended up flipping to the last page of the notebook again. She looked outside the window. Frost grew on the glass, and formed whorl patterns of lovely translucent geometry. A few feathery flakesscattered widely through the air, and hovered downward with uncertain flight, now almost alighting on the earth, now whirled again aloft into remote regions of the atmosphere. But in Yoonmi’s eyes there was only darkness and a snowy field that she could see outside of the window. Her eyes glanced back onto the last page of the notebook before she realized there was something written beautifully on it.

Yoonmi bit her lower lip before she frowned with her watery and red eyes. She read every single word written on it as her fingers gently touched the writing. She barely admitted the truth behind the words while she wondered who was the writer of such a meaningful phrase.

‘Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories…’