His words made her freeze. Yoonmi was caught off guard by Xiumin. How in the world could a guy like him read her mind so accurately? The moment she found out Eunmi had crush on Suho, she had already thought about giving up on her so-called 'first love' because of her twin sister. Yoonmi nervously looked away and swallowed her saliva before eventually let out a heavy sigh when she noticed that Xiumin's anxious eyes were still on her.

“Jung Yoonmi.” Xiumin called out her name gently before his hand landed on her shoulder.

“Don’t make me answer that, Sunbae.” Yoonmi replied; and looked straight into his eyes. What would Xiumin say if she answered with 'yes'? Would that make him freak out? No… Yoonmi didn’t think so. Xiumin was too calm and composed to freak out. Yoonmi glanced at her watch before shifting her gaze back to Xiumin. He was smiling at her.

“Let’s start moving; I know that you want to be alone right now.” He said, already have gotten up from his seat and got ready to leave the café. Yoonmi nodded in silence and followed him. He understood her just by looking at her expression. He really like the fact that he could easily understand her feelings - her hidden emotions and thoughts. For some reason, it made him feel at ease. At least he knows how to make her feel better. Yoonmi politely declined when Xiumin offered to walk her home. Even though he knew she wanted to be alone, he still couldn’t help it. He eventually gave up and they parted ways and walked in opposite directions.

“I’m sorry for dragging you  into this mess, Sunbae. You’re too kind to me.” Yoonmi muttered as she slowly turned around and gazed at Xiumin’s back and he slowly vanished from her sight. She then kept wandering around her university area and the bookstore before finally heading back to her house.  When she stepped into the house, Yoonmi was greeted by the overly excited Eunmi.

“You’re finally home! I’ve been waiting for you since forever!” Eunmi screamed excitedly; grabbing Yoonmi’s arms and literally dragged her to sit on the couch.

“Uh… I thought you weren’t home yet. Didn’t you have something to do with… him? What happened?” Yoonmi stared at her twin sister in a daze. She thought Eunmi wasn’t home yet since she clearly heard Suho talk earlier about having unsettled business to finish. But she was at home. Yoonmi slowly looked down to the floor and bit her lower lip. She couldn’t even mention Suho’s name at the moment. She felt completely wronged and guilty.

“Well, Suho happened.” Eunmi shrugged and pouted before she let out heavy sigh. Yoonmi raised her eyebrows; confused by her short answer.

“What do you mean by that?”

“He did say that we had something else to do at our university. He drove us back to our university but he suddenly stopped the car halfway. You know… His expression didn’t look good at all. I wonder if I made him felt uncomfortable during our meetingsearlier. Something seems to be bothering him…” Eunmi replied rather calmly as she slowly dropped her head onto Yoonmi’s shoulder. After hearing that, Yoonmi swallowed nervously. Of course Suho would have felt extremely uncomfortable for what happened earlier. Who didn’t?

“Did… he say anything?” Yoonmi asked. Her gaze shifted towards her sister and her wrist watch repeatedly as Eunmi nodded shortly after.

“Actually, he did.”

“What is it?” Yoonmi shot impatiently. Her curiousity already took over her mind.

“He said: 'I’m sorry but I have to drop you here. I’ve got to go somewhere else. It’s nice meeting your twin sister today. I guess I’ll see you soon at our next club meeting'.” Eunmi replied, imitating Suho’s voice as well as what he said before he dropped her  off at the nearest bus stop. She felt disappointed with his sudden coldness. What was wrong with him ?

Yoonmi nodded in silence; and finally understood why Eunmi was home earlier than she expected.

“Seriously, he should stop sending me mix signals! He should just tell me if he's either he’s into me or not. Simple as that! I don't understand our relationship. Sometimes we're friends, sometimes he treats me like we're more than friends and sometimes I’m just a stranger to him. Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.” Eunmi suddenly blurted out her inner thoughts which made Yoonmi wonder how Suho usualy treated her twin sister. There must be something special in how he treated Eunmi. Yoonmi was about to say something when Eunmi suddenly interrupted. As if she could read Yoonmi’s mind, Eunmi unintentionally answered Yoonmi’s question.

“Actually, it’s not like he treats he that special though. It’s just... I don’t know. He's well mannered - maybe? Yeah, I think that’s one of the reasons why I fell for him even though he didn’t seem to try. He’s too nice to me sometimes. Oh, and you see the way he smiled when he talked to us at the café earlier? It might seem like a cold smile or smirk... Or... Something, but his smile is killing me softly! His sudden coldness also… wait! Do I sound ridiculous, Yoonmi?”

‘Suho? Smiling? Did he even smile earlier? I only remember his frown…’ Yoonmi thought, and thought hard if Suho smiled when they met. She barely looked at his direction before, so there might have been a possibility that she didn’t even notice his smile.

Eunmi suddenly stopped fangirling over Suho as she blinked a few times. She stared at Yoonmi in confusion only to realize that Yoonmi was spaced out rather than listening to her half-ranted speech. Yoonmi noticed that Eunmi was staring and nervously clearing in an awkward manner.

“You’re not even listening to me, Yoonmi.” Eunmi spoke, pouting as always.

“No, I did! Why would I ignore you, Eunmi-ah…”

“Yoonmi.” Eunmi said and a smile  suddenly formed on her pretty face.

“Yes?”

“What do you think about Suho?” Eunmi grinned, wriggling her eyebrows. But Yoonmi stayed silent, although it only lasted for a few seconds because Eunmi started whinning; demanding Yoonmi to answer her question.

“Can we talk about this after I take a bath and clean myself? I’m tired.” She was tired but not physically. She was mentally and emotionally tired. Everything that happened today was too much for her to handle. She didn’t even know how to face Suho after this. She eventually stood up and got ready to leave the living room but Eunmi grabbed her wrist, which made Yoonmi to sit back right beside her.

“No. Now, Yoonmi.” She could only mentally sigh at Eunmi’s stern demand. Since when did Eunmi become forceful toward her? This wasn’t the usual Eunmi. “So?” Eunmi asked eagerly.

“He’s a good guy.” Yoonmi answered shortly before she looked away.

“I know right? It’s impossible for me to make a wrong assumption about guy. Especially him!” Eunmi excitedly hugged her twin sister without even realizing the sudden change in Yoonmi’s expression. She didn’t even looked that happy to begin with, but her expression was getting darker and darker. Eunmi finally broke the hug after a few seconds and she couldn’t stop smiling. It was short enough to make her smile from ear to ear.

Eunmi then began to speak about how happy she was ever since she met Suho but Yoonmi couldn’t even pay attention to what she was talking about when her cellphone suddenly vibrated; hinting that there’s incoming call. Thank God she put her cellphone on silent mode because if she didn’t, she might ended up interrupting Eunmi’s ‘fangirling mode’ right now. She quickly took out her cellphone behind her back and glanced at the caller ID without being noticed by Eunmi.

Suho.

She was dizzy, all of sudden. She didn’t expect for him to call her after the meeting. But he did. Should she pick up the call? No, she couldn’t! Eunmi was sitting right beside her and was stil talking about how charming Suho was. How could she pick up his call? Leaving her with no other choice, Yoonmi silently put her cellphone into her bag with heavy heart before her gaze was back to Eunmi. She knew what she had to do.

 

 

 

 

“Yoonmi-ah,” Yoonmi looked up from her textbook to spare a glance at Hyejin. Her best friend tilted her head and gave her a concerned look; Yoonmi had been acting weird lately. It had been two weeks. For Yoonmi, it had been two week since the meeting. It had also been two week since she had ignored Suho’s phone calls and text messages. She even ran away when she noticed Suho was waiting for her in front of her university's entrance. What’s wrong with her? Did she already gave up on him that easily?

“Are you alright? You’ve been… kind of distant lately.” Hyejin continued. Yoonmi bit the inside of her cheek before she gave Hyejin a small smile.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing important.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah… Just an assignment I’m working on. It’s doing my head in.” Yoonmi lied. And it seemed like Hyejin bought it; she nodded in understanding and bit down on the straw of her drink. The library was hushed with the only noise being the small chatter of students and pages being flipped.

“I know what you mean. I have this group assignment and there’s this one guy who isn’t pulling his weight. I want to do his head in.” Hyejin held up a fist and they both burst out in laughter and Yoonmi momentarily forgot the love triangle between herself, Suho and her sister.

Around two hours later, Yoonmi and Hyejin finally make their way out of the library. They parted ways and Hyejin looked over her shoulder with a wave before she disappeared from sight.

Yoonmi sighed. She hung her head a bit and let her hair fall over her eyes. When did things get so complicated? Upon nearing the entrance way, Yoonmi squinted and saw a familiar figure standing not too far away from the gate. She clutched her handbag tighter to herself because she wasn’t ready for this. It was no lie that she had been avoiding Suho, and he wasn’t too pleased by her actions either. But she didn’t expect him to show up at the university like he had before. There was no way that she could get past without being seen, but if it meant that she could get home quicker, it was a chance that she would take. She kept her head down but it wasn’t long before she heard her name being called.

“Yoonmi.” His voice was gentle and had no venom in it. It sounded more like a plea, if anything. With a moment’s hesitation, Yoonmi glanced at him. He was rested against the hood of his car with one knee propped up. 

“S-Suho sshi.” She said hesitantly and if it were possible, his expression fell even further.

“How many times have I told you not to call me that?” He said with a light laugh before he rubbed his nape. “I- I know showing up here is- I mean… Yoonmi, I was hoping that we could talk.”

Yoonmi opened , only to close it again. Avoiding him was hard but now that he was here, all she wanted to do was clear things up. But her mind wandered back to Eunmi and if Yoonmi were to talk to him, her feelings would ebb its way back into her heart and she didn’t want to hurt her sister. She just didn’t have any courage to speak up her mind yet. She wasn’t ready for everything. She wasn’t ready to lose him. She wasn’t ready to break his pure feelings towards her. She wasn’t ready to see him with Eunmi - as more than friends. She wasn’t ready for any of it.

“Sorry, I can’t. I’m busy-”

“You know what, you’re indeed an expert at saying sorry and keeping the lines blurry.” Suho replied weakly. His jaw clenched before he continued. “You always say that you’re busy. You ignore my calls. You ignore my texts. You ignore me. How long has it been now? It’s been a couple of weeks since we last talked. I can’t deal with this uncertainty, Yoonmi!” He yelled and she flinched. Suho ran his hands over his face and looked to the side and continued in a calmer tone. “I’m sorry for yelling. I really wasn’t lying when I said I loved you. It’s just… I miss you. Every second I live in a hope to meet you without you avoiding me . I die every second in a fear of loosing you. Please, don’t do this to me.” He breathed.

“I-” She didn’t know what to say and stiffened when he stepped closer. Yoonmi wanted to tell him the same thing, Yoonmi wanted to tell him that she also missed him badly but it seemed too small of a comment. She missed the way he talked, the way he shoved his hand into his pockets when he was nervous, the way his dark hair fell over his eyes. The way a smile would flicker across his face before he commited to it. As well as the way he looked at her like he was the only person in the world. She missed him.

“Please. Can we please talk?” He said.

She stepped back and wasn’t sure if he was going to step forward. He did.

“What is this all about, Yoonmi? Is it because of your twin sister; Jung Eunmi? It is because your twin sister actually likes me?”

Yoonmi’s eyes widened upon hearing that. So, Suho did know about Eunmi’s feelings towards him but he acted like he didn’t know,so that the situation didn't become more complicated. He exhaled composedly as gripped at her shoulder. Suho then gently grabbed her chin with his fingertips. He tried to make her look at him right in the eyes since she had been avoiding any eye contact and skinship from the moment she saw him a few minutes ago. She quickly looked away the moment her eyes met his.

“Suho sshi, I really can’t. I-I need to go-”

“Yoonmi-” Suho tried to stop her from running from him again but-

“Yoonmi.” A third voice cut in and the look in Suho’s eyes darkened when he came to realise who the voice’s owner was. Yoonmi was the one to look first.

“Xiumin Sunbae...” She said softly but relaxed a little by his presence. Xiumin made his way towards Yoonmi with a smile, and glancing at Suho who didn’t seem to be happy by his presence.

“Look, could you please excuse us? We have something important to talk about. So, if you don’t mind… could you please leave us? Alone.” Suho tried to sound polite and calm as possible but his expression showed it all. Xiumin chuckled at Suho but he continued to stand berside her, not having any thought of leaving the scene. He noticed Yoonmi’s expression lighten when she saw him coming. That made him realize that it wasn’t a great idea to leave the two of them alone even though he might just end up being labelled as busy body or third wheel. Well, screw that.

Suho scoffed at Xiumin’s stubbornness and shot him a deadly glare but it didn’t seem to bother the latter at all. Instead, Xiumin flashed an innocent smile toward Suho which only to pissed him off more. Xiumin knew that Yoonmi was trying to avoid Suho for the past two weeks and he had been helping her with that. That was why Suho couldn’t even see her even though he waited infront of the university all day along.

“Why are you even here, anyway?” Suho spat. He eyed Xiumin from head to toe before his eyes were fixed ontoYoonmi. He was expecting for Yoonmi to explain everything to him but all he got was complete ignorance. What did he do wrong for him to deserve something like this from her? Did he treat her not well enough? Did he not show his love towards her clear enough? Didn't she care about his feelings at all? It hurt his feeling to much just thinking about it? Why was she doing this to him?

“Just in case if you forgot, I’m also a student here.” Xiumin replied, keeping his smile. Suho sighed and looked away from the pair in front of him. Yoonmi kept fidgening, stealing a few glances towards Suho. He looked awfully broken and hurt with her sudden coldness. It broke her heart to ignore him but she didn’t see any other way to make up her mind. She was stuck in between her love towards him and her love toward Eunmi. Gathering her thoughts and courage, Yoonmi finally stepped a few steps ahead .  Suho quickly turned his head towards her. He anticipated her next move.

“I’m sorry.” She said. Her voice almost like a whisper. Suho was speechless at first but he shook his head a few times as he chuckled; trying to hide his disappointment. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear from her and even Yoonmi knew that.

“Let’s talk about this...later.” Suho said, and slowly made his way to his car before he finally drove away. Yoonmi watched him go without being able to do anything. Yoonmi her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down and she could feel tears pricking in the corners of her eyes. She let her head hang down. She heard a sigh before there was a pair of arms circling around her form and soft-spoken words were whispered.

“Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.” They stayed like that for a while before Xiumin pulled away and gave her a warm smile.

“Thank you, Sunbae.” Yoonmi muttered. She failed to hide her teary eyes from him.

"Are you crying?" Xiumin was slightly taken aback at the sight but he remained composed just like he always did.

"No, my eyes are sweating." She quickly turned around after coming up with the most stupid excuse ever, according to herself. Xiumin chuckled at her answer; feeling relieved that she didn't look as sad as before. He knew that when a girl cries, it's not usually over one thing. It's built up anger and emotions that she had been holding in for too long.  Deep down inside, he knew she was having a mental breakdown, but chose not to make it obvious by putting a façade. And she did hide her feelings well. His eyes were still on her even though she wasn't looking at him. He felt a sudden increase of his heart beat. He placed his palm on his chest, but he dropped his hand when Yoonmi faced him with no more tears in her eyes. He smiled, and shortened the distance between them.

“Yoonmi…” Xiumin trailed off.  He glanced toward the people walking nearby before he looked back at her. His eyes were piercing and intense and that made Yoonmi feel slightly uncomfortable. A few moments later, Xiumin eventually spoke; putting an end to his unfinished words seconds ago. 

“I could make you happy, too. If only you gave me a chance.” 

 

Author's note: Hello, I'm sorry for not updating before. Well, happened and writer block is one of the reason why I'm not updating this story for quite a long time. Thank you so much for being such a loyal reader and stay subscribed, I'm so thankful. FYI, I'm not going to abandon this story no matter what, I'll try my best to finish this even though it might takes another year. Also,say hello to my co-author MisoCakes, she'll be helping me with this story from now on.  Do leave your comment and thank you for reading. :)