015

The Frozen Heart

 

The cold, frosty atmosphere that filled the morning air had woken Yoonmi from her light sleep. She pulled herself up and out of her tangled bedsheets and took a few steps toward the window before she opened it slightly so that she could see what another snowy morning would look like, even though she had seen it ever since the winter season started a month ago. Heavy clouds moved from the north and it seemed to be fog. Perhaps fog also rose from the ground, but at that altitude, it was difficult to distinguish the mists that rose from below and those that come down from above. How sweet the morning air is!

From outside the window, snow filled all over the place; just like before. Even from the moment Yoonmi stood in front of the window, the snow fell gracefully. Blossom sized snowflakes fell languidly and melted on the ground. It was such a beautiful sight that could be only seen in winter and Yoonmi was mesmerized with the sight. Only after a few minutes had passed, she eventually returned to her bed and lied on it and faced the ceiling. Yoonmi inhaled deeply and closed her eyes as her mind automatically recalled what had happened yesterday; what had happened between Suho and her to be exact.

With her eyes were shut, Yoonmi’s fingertips touched her reddish lips where his kiss still burned. The kiss. The kiss when Suho confessed to her and the kiss when Suho declared their relationship as lovers had brought two different feelings to Yoonmi. Suho’s first kiss had put her into such a big confusion and his second kiss made Yoonmi realise about her true feelings toward him. As much as she wanted to, she came to realize that she couldn't deny her feelings at all. The moment when their lips parted, the moment when she looked deeply into his eyes, and whenever she turned her focus to him, she felt the warmth that flowers must feel when they bloom through the snow under the first concentrated rays of the sun. At that time, there was only one thing that had crossed her mind. She liked him. She was in love with him. She liked the feeling of liking him. She felt light and smiley and too full of excitement to think of anything else. 

“Yoonmi-ah!” A sudden voice loudly called her name caused her eyes open widely in surprise and all of her blooming feelings and thoughts were driven away in a second. She frantically stood up before she and headed towards Eunmi’s room.

“Oh, you’re awake already?” Eunmi exclaimed and grinned excitedly when she saw that her twin was standing right in front of her door.

“Why? Is there something wrong or do you want me to do something for you?”

“No. Not really. Stop asking as if you’re my maid, just how many times have I reminded you about it?  I just feel like calling your name since we haven’t talked since you got home from your date yesterday. Let's just consider this as a sweet morning call for my beloved twin!” Eunmi replied and pulled Yoonmi toward her bed before they both sat at the corner and faced each other.

“Eunmi-ah, your hair is a big mess; let me comb it for you.”

“Just let it be, this is how I look when I wake up every day. In the morning I wake up like a sloth in the fog because I will never be a morning person; for the moon and I, are too much in love. I have always disliked the morning, it is too responsible of a time, with the daylight demanding that it be 'faced' and… Usually when I wake up late, the sun is already up and in charge of the world, with little hope of anyone usurping or challenging its authority. I’m going to take a bath later though since I’ve got a class to attend. Now, shoot! Tell me how your date was?” Eunmi couldn’t tolerate her curiosity any longer. She had been dying to know about Yoonmi’s date ever since she got home yesterday but she’d been patient and waited for the next morning to hear the full story about Yoonmi’s first ever date.

Yoonmi chuckled at Eunmi’s words before she replied and had  already got up from Eunmi’s bed and headed out of her room.

“Let’s talk about it tonight. Didn’t you say earlier that you’ve got classes to attend? So do I. So, let’s get ready and take a bath so that you can get rid of your morning sloth image. Shall we?”

“Yah, Jung Yoonmi! Did you just making fun of my messy hair? You know that I’ve got plenty of free time before my class starts, don’t you? So stop changing the subject!” Eunmi yelled and pretended to get angry with her. Eunmi tried to comb her messy hair with her fingers but it never worked well. In fact, her hair turned out to be messier than before. Eunmi groaned and she pouted. Just like what she said before, Eunmi classes would start later than Yoonmi's, but she intentionally woke up a bit earlier so that she could spend some time to dig out the story of Yoonmi's first date.

“No, I didn’t. You’re the one who said that you looked like a sloth in the fog when you wake up from your sleep. I know that your class will start later than mine, so Eunmi-ah, why don’t you get some more sleep?”

“Ugh… I shouldn’t have said that, silly me! Fine, let just see if you don’t say a word tonight. I’m going to boycott your dinner and breakfast; I’ll be eating those unhealthy snacks that you hate the most all day to piss you off. That's going to be fun.” Eunmi saidand stuck out her tongue mischievously. Yoonmi just helplessly shook her head and felt slightly entertained by Eunmi’s childish act.

“Okay, okay...I’m going to take a bath and prepare a healthy breakfast for you but we can’t eat breakfast together because I’ll be leaving first even though I really want to have a breakfast with you.”

With Eunmi lying back on her bed as if there was no class waiting for her arrival, Yoonmi closed the door carefully before she went back to her room to take a bath. After Yoonmi prepared herself for class, she continued her daily routine and prepared breakfast for Eunmi. By only drinking a glass of fresh milk to provide some energy for her body, Yoonmi then pulled out a sticky note from a drawer located in the living room before she wrote something on it and stuck it on a glass that was filled with freshly-squeezed orange juice plus a slice of wedge-cut orange that she made earlier especially for Eunmi along with a plate of bacon, portabello mushrooms, tomatoes, omega-3 rich half-cooked eggs, and wholegrain bread.

 

‘I’ve prepared a healthy breakfast for you, please eat it deliciously before you attend your classes and don’t you even think about eating those unhealthy and greasy fast foods for breakfast or I might get rid of those snacks as well as the refrigerator. Don't laugh, because I really mean it. I’m leaving first, enjoy your breakfast.

Love, Yoonmi.’

 

After she placed the note properly, Yoonmi headed out of her house and toward her university even though her class would start almost  an hour and a half later. She planned to spend her morning at the library with Hyejin since she’d already promised to her best friend. As she walked, she took a quick glance at her watch; 8.15 in the morning. It was still early so she took her time and walked along the snowy street before her eyes caught a familiar silhouette that stood in the middle of a snowy field that was located next to the street. He his arms with his eyes shut tight. Yoonmi narrowed her eyes at him when he suddenly turned. It was Xiumin!

Her body foze awkwardly when her eyes met his but Xiumin’s gentle and warm smile melted her frozen body in a second. When he realised that it was Yoonmi who was secretly watching him from far, Xiumin walked closer toward her while carrying his shoulder bag and a few books in his hand.

“Good morning.” Xiumin greeted, slightly bowing his head.

“Good morning.” Yoonmi replied and a smiled.

“Meeting you coincidentally in this early morning, you must be on your way to the university, am I right?”

“Yes, and you?”

“Me too, but I think being late for a few minutes would be alright. Mind to enjoy this breathtaking scenery with me before attending our classes?” Xiumin asked, already heading back towards the snowy field and Yoonmi slowly followed him from behind. He seemed to enjoy the captivating scenery full heartedly. Only after when he was a few steps ahead, Xiumin suddenly stopped as he turned his body over and facing Yoonmi with a stern expression.

“Did you know that you are enchanted?” He said all of sudden.

“Huh?” Yoonmi raised her eyebrows in confusion.

“You are enchanted. Only a princess can leave glass footprints in the snow...” Xiumin added and pointed at Yoonmi’s footsteps on the snow. And as she walked, her footsteps disappeared behind her. She felt at that moment that she came from nowhere and was going nowhere, that life isn't a dream or a fantasy, it was a long trudge through falling snow and his were were unknowingly absorbed deeply into her heart.

“You’re playing with words again.” Yoonmi said and gazed at Xiumin nervously.

“No, my late little sister said that, I just repeated what she used to say to me. This field used to be a soccer field, now it's filled with snow… It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“It is…” Yoonmi glanced around the field and all she could see was a snow. White, pure snow that filled the area and it gave peaceful feelings to the one who saw it.

“There’s just something beautiful about walking on snow that nobody else has walked on. It makes us believe we’re special, even though we know we’re not. When I walked across this field earlier, it was like this place had some kind of supernatural power; dragging me into this field so that I could recall my childhood memories and appreciate the beauty that winter holds.”

Yoonmi didn’t say a word; she was just standing right behind Xiumin as she listened to every word he said. In fact, she had agreed with him silently; this place really made her recall every childhood memory she had

“When I was ten, I leaned out once and caught a snowflake on my tongue. They tasted so good, so pure and so divine, like nothing I had ever tasted from the sky. It was as if happiness spread through your body with the cold, but then disappeared and brought depression, all in less than two seconds. It was unbelievable, and yet, addicting. But then, I had this sudden thought; how could it be winter without snow? I appreciated every season, but winter was my favorite. I even enjoyed the cold weather, it was great for snuggling and it was even greater when I can spend my time with my family, with my little sister…” Xiumin chuckled helplessly at his own words. He was about to say more but he stopped and his eyes moved to Yoonmi.

“For someone that you just met, I think I’ve talked too much, haven't I?” Xiumin asked with a smile, he noticed that Yoonmi hand't said a word and that he was the only one that was talking.

“No, talk more. I mean, whenever we meet, you always look different from the last time we meet, you always brought a different vibe, different thoughts, a different character and you made me wonder about you more. You made me wonder what does the real you look slike... And listening to your childhood stories about your late little sister, it reminded me of my own childhood memory that I shared with my twin.”

“So, you’ve grown curiosabout yourself through me?” Xiumin questioned, and kicked the snow with his foot as he put his right hand into his pocket. His eyes were fixed on her.

“I guess I really did, I can't help it though.”

“You’re curious about me; a girl who resembles my late, little sister is curious about the real me…It’s a good thing for me, isn’t it? Don’t worry, your curiosity will slowly fade away as time passes by. Or it might grow bigger. Who knows?” Xiumin raised his eyebrows before he continued. “So, what's your winter childhood’s story? How does it feel, having a winter memory with your twin?”

“You know, we used to play with snow a lot when we were kids. My twin made a snowman and a boy from our neighborhood knocked it down and she knocked that boy down and then they became friends, and there’s me… Righting with myself because I was socially awkward. ” Yoonmi said, unintentionally telling him about a childhood story that she kept from everyone

“Your story…” Xiumin said before he paused as his furrowed his brows..

“Boring isn’t it, sorry!” Yoonmi cut in quickly but Xiumin let out a soft chuckle before he continued.

“It’s cute.”

“Uh?”

 “Your childhood story… And you... It’s cute.”

Both of them exchanged a warm gaze before they started to move  away from the snow covered field and headed to the university. Along the way, Yoonmi and Xiumin didn’t talk much and it wasn’t awkwardness that casued the silence but they both seemed to enjoy the winter scenery more than conversation. When they were only a few meters away from the university, Xiumin’s gentle voice was finally heard. “You both look compatible for each other.”

“You mean?-”

“Suho.”

“You know him?”

"No, that’s what you called him; ‘Suho sshi’.”

“Uh, uhm... Yeah. Right...”

“He doesn’t like me, does he? The guy that claimed to be your boyfriend, I can see it in his eyes; he doesn’t like me.”

Yoonmi tilted her head swiftly toward Xiumin; and examined his poker face.

“Oh! I’m sorry about that. He might seem like that, but I’m pretty sure that if both of you get to know each other, you’ll get along well because he’s friendly and is a warm person in real life.” Yoonmi said apologetically. She did noticed Suho’s unusual stare toward Xiumin but she couldn’t do anything about that either; Yoonmi’s had avoided judging someone based on first impressions, even though she did judge Suho based on their first meeting, she just doesn’t want to repeat the same attitude again because her first impression had always turned out to be the opposite direction.

“You don’t have to say sorry though. I can understand him technically. He must dislike me for being with you. You’re his lover, aren’t you?” Xiumin said in a calm manner. Xiumin knew the meaning behind Suho’s stare. ‘Stay away from this girl’. ‘Don’t you ever come closer to her more than you should’. ‘This girl is mine’. Suho had that kind of stare and Xiumin could see it in his eyes at the first glance. Both of them were guys after all, so they must be able to understand each other better.

“I’m really sorry if the meeting between you and him made you feel uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine; I’m completely fine with it. Stop worrying over nothing, okay? Oh, we’ve arrived already!” In no time, Xiumin and Yoonmi  had already arrived in front of their university and when she was about to say something to him when  Hyejin suddenly appeared out of nowhere and hugged her excitedly.

“Yoonmi-ah! Oh, Xiumin sunbae? You guys came together?” Hyejin asked and bowed and looked at them with a curious expression.

Xiumin was about to say something to Yoonmi but he was stopped when his shoulder was pat by someone from behind.

“You’re late, dude!” An unfamiliar voice was heard and Xiumin, Yoonmi and Hyejin turned their heads at the same time before they realized there were two guys around Xiumin’s age were who stood behind him with a big smile on their faces.

“Uwah! Good morning Luhan Sunbae, Yixing Sunbae!” Hyejin greeted excitedly as she bowed.

“Morning girls!” Luhan greeted back as he waved his hand cheerfully toward Yoonmi and Hyejin while Yixing bowed slightly which was accompanied by a small smile which revealed his dimples on both of his cheeks.

“Since my friends are already here, I’ll be leaving first. But…” Xiumin paused as he took out a piece of paper out form his bag and handed it to Yoonmi. “This is our piano class schedule. I’ve checked your class timetable and compared it to mine so there won’t be any clashes between out classes. Let’s start the lesson tomorrow. I’ll be waiting at the music room; the old one and I hope you’ll come.” Xiumin explained with a smile and Yoonmi nodded in agreement. After Xiumin left, Yoonmi was bombarded with tons of questions from Hyejin who seemed to be completely over-excited with Yoonmi’s soon-to-be answers.

“Yah, yah, yah! I knew there must be something going on between you and Xiumin Sunbae! Do you like him? Does he like you? Do you like each other? What happened? Is that why you look way brighter than before? Are you keep any secrets regarding you and him from me? Tell me, tell me, tell me please! He’s going to teach you how to play piano? How nice of him, I’m so jealous of you, Jung Yoonmi!” Hyejin asked excitedly, flapping her hand on Yoonmi’s shoulder repeatedly.

“Hyejin-ah, calm down. The other students are staring at us, and please don't make your own assumptions… He’s our Sunbae, stop it already.” Yoonmi replied shortly. Her gaze landed on Xiumin’s silhouette that seemed to be already joining his other friends ahead.

 


 

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taurusgirl #1
Chapter 37: This is so saaad but good ???
fgtalks #2
Chapter 36: BUT HOW
HOW
WHY
OH MY GOD
HOW
HOW
I regret my wish for “sometimes i want an 'unsatisfied' ending”. No, i want my ending. Oh God. I expected this. But, i still kokosad. Okay. Anyway, you did good author! The story and the conversations are nice! Some conversations are well spoken/? or written/?. Although if i can be honest, there are some typos and grammatical error (probably, I'm not 100% sure since I'm not that good actually, but my feeling just says that) that sometimes kinda confusing and annoying. But, really, it's actually a good story with beautiful quotes so i kept reading this till i finished. Also, the story played my emotion very well, so it must be considered as good, right? I've decided, Eunmi is the innocent one here. Thank God she acted rational. Yoonmi and Junmyeon are dumb. Idc, for me they're dumb. Junmyeon for what he did and Yoonmi for too selfless enough that it hurted herself. That's all! Thank you, author ♡ i enjoy your work!
fgtalks #3
Chapter 32: Stupid man. Darn you. *sigh
fgtalks #4
Chapter 30: NO OMG YOU'LL MAKE IT WORST, BRO
fgtalks #5
Chapter 28: I saw this coming. Yet, i still feel mad, sad, and disappointed.
fgtalks #6
Chapter 26: I want to empathize her, but it's hard. Idk why. And i wonder why.
fgtalks #7
Chapter 25: No. No. No. No.
fgtalks #8
Chapter 24: He promised her he would try to make her fall for him deeper. I hope he sticks to what he said.
fgtalks #9
Chapter 21: Is she going to be that “common” girl? I hope not ><