Yoonmi placed her trembling hand on the doorknob, doubting whether to knock first or just enter the room at her own leisure. She inhaled deeply as she paced in front of the door before she stopped. Yoonmi stared at the door nervously, wondered why she was being called into the room. Eventually, she grabbed the doorknob again while her left hand knocked the door before she entered the room.

“Come in.” Xiumin spoke. He turned away form the piano to face her. Yoonmi bowed and walked closer toward him before her heavy steps stopped. She stood stiffly on the right side of the piano, opposite to where Xiumin was. Their eyes locked. Xiumin realised that Yoonmi might have felt uncomfortable due to her expression and he pat the empty spot beside him before he added: "Come, sit over here."

As if she was possessed, Yoonmi silently sat beside him without saying a word. Not even a single word. Xiumin smiled slightly as his fingers danced gracefully on the piano; and played a melody that Yoonmi didn’t know the title of. She took a quick glance at the Music Sheet placed on the piano before her eyes slowly read the words written at the top of the music sheet.

“Moonlight Sonata…” Yoonmi whispered to herself but Xiuhmin heard it. His hand stopped and he titled his head to the side, toward Yoonmi to be precise.

“Do you know this song?”

Yoonmi shook her head in respond, being honest.

“Do you know how to play piano?” Xiumin asked again.

She shook her head for the second time and bit her lower lip nervously.

“Why did you want to meet me?” Yoonmi mumbled and straight into his eyes but he only answered her question with a smile; it was sweet and gentle.

“Did Hyejin tell you anything?”

“She told me that you wanted to meet me here, and that’s what brought me here…”

“Is that all? Anything else?”

“Hyejin also said that you suddenly appeared at the club meeting earlier just to tell her that you want to meet me. Then, you left. And….”

“And?”

“You shouldn’t have left just like that when the club is obviously hoping for you to be there.”

Xiumin raised his eyebrows as his hand was busily shuffled the music sheets and settled another page with a different song title and music notes on it.

“You’re being honest… Very honest.” he commented and fixed his gaze toward the music sheet while his fingers leisurely played the notes exactly how they were printed on the sheet. In the end, Yoonmi silently sat beside him and enjoyed the melody that was being plaed. When she saw how Xiumin sat there, unsresponsive, made Yoonmi realise that silence had a sound. It allowed the previously sounds to linger deeply in one's heart. The piano keys were black and white but they sounded like a million colours in her mind and it was probably the same in his mind too.

She waited for him to talk or explain why he called her to meet her here but even as the song ended, he still remained silent but turned the music sheet from one page to the next, as if she didn't even exist in the room. Yoonmi felt that her presence wasn't needed in the room and moved. She stepped away from him and got ready to leave the room when she felt a cold hand grab her wrist tightly. Yoonmi froze, unable to move away from him. 

"Sit." Xiumin commanded and pulled her toward him but she stiffened and resisted from doing so. When he realised that she wasn't going to comply, he looked up at her with coldness in his eyes and Yoonmi didn't understand where it came from. From the first time she had stepped into the room and met his eyes, they were were always filled with a heartwarming, yet mysterious gaze. But this time it was different and she didn't like it. It sent chills down her spine. It was as if he became another person - a stranger.

"Please... Sit." he repeated. His tone softened and his expression loosened up. Yoonmi surrendered to his request and slowly brought herself back to him and sat hesitantly beside him. The piano was left untouched and the music sheets were folded away.

“I don’t think I’m needed here.”Yoonmi said and broke the silence. It was more of an explaination for her actions.

"You're needed here. Since the first time you came into this room... You were needed here." He answered which put Yoonmi into a state of confuision. She still couldn't understand and thought that she wouldn never understand why she was needed when she just sat there beside him like a mannequin. That, and the fact that she barely talked to him from the moment she had stepped into the room. If all he needed was someone to listen to him play, that would have been a reason for her to stay. But she couldn't assume that was his reason when the questionm she asked earlier remained without an answer.

“Why am I here, could you please at least tell me that?” Yoonmi sighed into the silence.

“Do you not want to be here?” He answered her question with another question. Yoonmi looked down and thought hard about it. From the first time she stepped into that room, she was lured in by the piano from which he played as it undeniably brought her ease. He had an unseen power. A spell? Ot was it magic? But whatever it was between his cold hands, between his pale but yet somewhat incredibly flexibe fingers, he was able to play a melody that had a healing effect to her mind. She needed to say that but the words were caught in and she was unable to say it out loud.

“Didn’t you say before that being in a place that was filled with people is something that you least preferred? Plus, I think I already disturbed you enough…I’m giving back the privacy that I stole from you from the moment I came into this room…”

"Didn't you say that being in a place that was filled with people was something that you didn't like? Or... Least preferred? Plus, I think I had already disturbed you enough... I'm going to give back the privacy I stole from you the moment I came into this room."

"I don't think having two people in a room makes it crowded, and just like what I said earlier, you're needed here. From the first time you came into this room, you were needed here..."

Yoonmi didn’t know how to react or what to say anymore, he was obviously hiding something from her and she was dying to know what it could be.  Xiumin ruffled his hair gently, walking toward the frosted window before he looked back, placing his gaze on Yoonmi’s anxious face.

"Yoonmi didn't know what to say or how to react anymore. He was obviously hiding something from her and she was dying to know what it could be. Xiumin ruffled his hair gently and walked toward the frosted window before he looked back at her and gazed at her anxious face.

“Do you remember the first question that I asked you when we first met in this room?”

“No...”

“The first snow is like the first love. Do you remember your first snow?’ I remember  asking you that… This time, what would your answer would be. I’m sure the answer wouldn’t be as the same as before…”

“I…”

Xiumin narrowed his eyes at her, and waited for Yoonmi to finish her sentence.

“I… I…I don’t know…” She said and shook her hear slightly. His eyes were so intense, which made her want to look away… Or never look away. She couldn’t decide. That uncomfortable feeling spread over her again.

“You look like her a lot… You resemble her… So much…” Xiumin suddenly whispered. He blinked before he turned to face the window.

“Her?”

“Her...” He repeated. His voice was shaken and unclear as he reminisced about that person.

“She-” Yoonmi was about to ask another question when her phone vibrated and indicatied she got a text message, it's notification sound resonated into the room which stopped her from asking any further. Yoonmi frantically pulled her cell phone out from her shoulder bag, and red the text message in a flash of light before she looked up and looked back at Xiumin's back guiltily. “I… I have to go now…”

Xiumin nodded without looking back at her, he still faced the window and refused to look at her and didn't even spare her a glance. Yoonmi couldn’t see his expression and it made her feel uneasy. She took a few steps toward him an she placed her hand on his shoulder gently.

“I’ll come again…soon…” Yoonmi said. When he heard that, Xiumin eventually turned to her as he smiled, but it looked forced. There was something bothering him. Yoonmi could feel it but she couldn't do anything. She stared into his eyes and tried to read what had been troubling him but she couldnt figure out the darkness in his eyes. She only saw despair and a glimpse that was asking for help but she couldn't stay. She had to leave but his solemn expression made her steps heavy.

He wasn’t like this when she met him before, but today… What had changed him? When she looked deep into his eyes, there was only one thought that came across her mind; a thought about how there are two types of secrets: the kind a person wants to keep it in and the kind a person doesn't dare to let out. For Xiumin, which one could it be?

 

 

Jongin snorted as he eyed Suho from head to toe. Seeing Suho smiling with his cell phone in his hand really annoyed Jongin. Suho didn’t say anything for about 30 minutes. All he did for the past half an hour was look at his cell phone while he smiled like an idiot. Jongin was the one who talked non-stop. It was only after 15 minutes of talking and getting excited all by himself, was when Jongin finally realised that Suho wasn't paying attention to him. Unknowingly, his heart was boiling inside.

“You're always on your phone.” Jongin retorted and glared at Suho as he took a sip of his drink.

“Well, you're always on my nerves.”  Suho looked up and answered sarcastically. He looked up at Jongin for a few seconds before his gaze landed back to his phone. 

“Hyung!”

“What? Did I say anything wrong? By the way, I’ve got to go now. If Kyungsoo comes, tell him I’ll meet him tomorrow… Or the day after tomorrow. I've already made plans.” Suho spoke. He stood up from his chair and got ready to leave. He really did have Other plans. Which was to meet Yoonmi and this time, he would make sure that this meeting would be much better, more meaningful and different than before. Suho grinned as his mind was busy imagining something that was part of his plan. Without looking back to Jongin who yelled his name annoyingly, Suho walked away from the cafeteria and headed to his car which was parked outside of the university area.  

When Suho got into his car he turned to the back seat and reached for a small box which had a blue ribbon tied to it.  He fixed the ribbon after he opened the box before he placed it back onto the backseat and overed it with his jacket. Without waiting any longer, he started the engine and drove away from the crowded area. Upon arriving at the front of the university's main gate, Suho could see that Yoonmi was already there, waiting for his arrival as promised.

“Can we go now?” Suho asked and led Yoonmi to his car.

“Where?”

“Somewhere else… Shall we?”

Yoonmi glanced at her watched. She hesitated a bit before she nodded and the journey started for a destination that Yoonmi didn't know. The only thing that she realised was that they were somewhere that looked like a park. That was a huge lake in front of tham that was filled with frosted water. They sat on an empty wooden chair while they stared into the fozen water and Suho talked non-stop about Yoonmi didn't pay attention. It wasn't that Yoonmi couldn't hear what he was saying she just gave himi zero attention, to be precise. He head was filled with Xiumin's sudden change of attitude and the was part was that she couldn't remove his unusual expressuin from her mind. She just couldn't.

“So, what should I do now?” Suho grinned and glanced at Yoonmi who sat stiffly beside him.

"Huh?" Yoonmi's eyes widened. She didn't fully understand what he was asking. After looking at her dumbfounded expression, Suho wiggled his eyebrows and realised something.

“You weren't listening to me ever since we were in the car. Did something happen?”

“Sorry… Ahat did you say again?”

“Ha… I said that I have butterflies in my stomach. But, I’m not nervous; I ate some caterpillars.” Suho repeated what he was saying when when Yoonmi didn’t pay attention to him.

"Uh?" Even though Suho repeated what he said, it only made Yoonmi more confused. Nervous? What was that about? Was it a joke? Should she have laughed then? Even if he really did feel neverous, what was the reason for it? He never seemed to get nervous whenever they met before.

"It was supposed to be a joke expect for the 'I have butterflies in my stomach' part. The rest of it was a joke. I am nervous, but I guess it's only me..." Suho mumbled. He was nervous for his plan but she seemed totally clueless and didn't pay any attention to him and that made Suho doubt on whether to continue his plan or not.

Yoonmi waited for him to say something more, but he was quiet. She felt guilty for not paying attention while he was talking, so Yoonmi finally made a move to further the conversation. "Was there something you wanted to say?"

He didn't answer right away, but Yoonmi could feel him struggling, so she waited. "If I asked you something, would you tell me the truth?" It was her turn to hesitate.

"I don't know…" Yoonmi hedged.

"You would know this.” Suho finally stood up, pulling her hand so that she would stand right in front of him before he continued while Yoonmi was bewildered with his sudden act; her heart was suddenly thumping wildly.

Suho finally stood up and pulled her hand so that she stood right in front of him before he continued. Yoonmi was bewildered by the sudden act anc her hert suddenly started to thump wildly.

“Yoonmi?”

“Uh?”

“Do you like me?”

“Uh-huh…”

“You know what I mean?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Er…”

“Don't be nervous.”

“Okay.” Her voice sounded much colder than she felt. Inside, her internal organs were grinding themselves into a nervous pulp. Her intestines were gone. Her kidneys where disintegrating. Her stomach was wringing itself out and tanked on the trachea. She was nervous and like an ice cube, Yoonmi froze up. She was extremely nervous and her thoughts about Xiumin flew away. Suho blew all of those thoughts away with his random question that happened all too suddenly. In fact, she couldn't even think straight anymore. What was he trying to say? Suho walked away all of a sudden and left her standing alone awkwardly as he got into his car before he returned with a box in his hand.

“Even though it's late, it’s a Christmas present that I prepared for you. I didn’t know if I might see you again because of what happened last time, but I prepared this for you and hoped that I’ll meet you again. And my Christmas wish was granted. Thank god, I’m here again with you today...”

He opened the box right in front of her and took outa knitted peach-coloured scarf and wrapped it around her neck tenderly. Suho smiled as he stared straight into her eyes, but Yoonmi looked down as she felt cincomfortable with the eye contact. She looked up and met his eyes as Suho opened his mouth.

“I'm in love with you.” He said quietly.

“Huh?”  Yoonmi’s eyes widened, dumbfounded.

“I am.” He said. He stared at her, and Yoonmi could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I'm in love with you, and I'm not denying myself. It's the simple pleasure of saying what's true. I fell in love with you without knowing how, or when, or where. I love you, simply, without problems or pride. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and I know that you are something I never thought could exist for me. Yet, you are the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and I don't regret telling you how I feel. And,once again, I am in love with you.”

Silence. Yoonmi couldn't even give him a single as an answer. She was speechles and in a daze. She was confused and didn't know whether she heard it right or if it was a hallucination. He looked at Yoonmi with serious eyes, but in a way that made her wonder what she had done wrong. It made Yoonmi woinder what she had done right, what she had done to make him fall for her. That's what she wondered.

A cold wind blew from the north and it made the trees rustle like living things. Her hair was swayed by the tender wind but Yoonmi still didn’t move. Her heart raced, it was pounding so fast that it didn't sound like a heartbeat, but a dull and obstinate hum. It felt like a pressure cooker, locked up and boiling quickly. His gaze was warm, yet she felt like a nuclear reactor.

Suho raised his hand to brush a stray hair away from her face. Instead of dropping his hand, he slid it behind her neck and drew her closer. His soft scent enveloped her. When his lips touched hers, she lost any hope of control.