Chapter One: Window
 

Baekhyun pressed the blade against his pale skin, hands shaking vigorously as his body trembled in fear. He tried to stop his own body from acting foolishly; and tried to set his incoherent mind to finally listen for once. His bloodshot eyes stood hollow with the fixtures of lonesomeness and loss, as he stared down at his bare arm. Applying enough pressure, the blade slid deep in his forearm. Soon, he saw the aftermath of the blood surfacing out of the slit at the corner of his wrist. He winced, biting his lip hard, trying anything that would help him suppress this pain. Slowly, he slid the cold knife down, a newly strewn line engraving across his forearm. He relieved a huge shaky breath as he felt the intense pain capture his body once again.

But, this didn't seem as crazy as he thought.

It made him feel… better.

The blade hovered above his arm, newly formed cut standing out to the norm as dark red liquid seeped out, sliding down his arm and soundlessly clashing on the floor. Tightening his eyes, he took another deep breath, chest feeling too tight and heavy for comfort.

All Baekhyun needed was the sense of relief; to feel something other than the overbearing pain in his heart. And it seemed to work.

“You’re nothing.”

Biting his lower lip, the knife hovered over the spot next to his cut. He was afraid. It scared him. The blade felt warmer this time, his cherry red blood still warm on the surface of the weapon.

Cut after cut, he erupted in a synthesis of silent cries.

The blade dropped: hands unable to fully clench around the plastic. The brunet was trembling as the darkness loomed in his heart from the pit of pain.

“It… it hurts.”

His eyes stood locked on the fresh cuts, blood still leaking out, dripping down his arm up to his elbow, and onto his thighs,

creating a small puddle on the cold tiles.

Swollen lips quivering, he couldn't find a coherent word to heave out.

He wanted to scream, shout and cry in agony.

“I don’t care.”

No one cares.

No one misses him.

He’s all alone.

Skies were grey, sad clouds covering the city of Seoul. Rain fell from the clouds, crashing down onto the surface below. Baekhyun tightened his grip on the plastic rod, taking slow paced steps through the cold air. The black umbrella shielded him from the rain, soft pattering and bouncing sliding down the fabric of the top.

Ironically, even though there were people all around, he felt alone. Everyone minded their own businesses, walking down the streets and continuing on with their own lives, only caring about themselves. But Baekhyun didn't blame them, it was human nature -- to think that your life was the only thing mattering at the moment. He would be a hypocrite to say he didn't only dwell in his own pain. But, he still hated it. Feeling like he is the only one in this world facing hardship while everyone else is having the times of their lives with nothing to worry about, was something he hated. Feeling alone in a world of evil was a scary thing. Feeling like a disgrace and nothing but a waste of life was one of the cruelties this world of evil handed to him.

Baekhyun breathed in as the cold air entered his windpipes and released the bits of warmth left in him. His other hand stayed fisted in his black street style hoodie, feeling a little numb: it was one of the slight tremors of the cold. Music played through his ears, playing his favorites in a custom made playlist. He wore a dark red skater hat -- one of his most cherished out of his hat collection.

His lips pressed in a thin line, walking past people as the rain fell harder out of the gloomy skies. Seeing the coffee shop in his vision, he unconsciously walked towards it. It became a habit for Baekhyun to enter the coffee shop everyday to grab his regulars and spend a few moments sitting down in the far corner of the shop. Reaching the door, he closed his charcoal black umbrella. Rain didn't miss a beat - instantly splashing down on his cap and everywhere else. He quickly entered the shop, hearing the usual chimes on top of the door, and walked towards the front of the ordering station. With his wet umbrella by his side, droplets soaked into the side of his dark washed out skinny jeans, giving himself even more goose bumps across his shivering body.

But he didn't care.

At least he felt something - anything - to help him forget just for a moment. Of course, it was harder said than done.

“Oh hi there! The usual sir?”

He curtly nodded his head, averting his eyes from the nice worker who was the main person who took his orders.

For some reason, he couldn't look into another persons eyes. It made him feel uncomfortable, and ashamed.

“Here you go! Enjoy your stay!”

his lips, he nodded his head, keeping his eyes locked on the beverage in front of him and hastily grabbed it before dropping the accurate money on the counter. Then, he walked where his black and dark red signature sneakers took him; over to the vacant corner of the shop. Baekhyun sat down, dropping his black umbrella on the floor in front of his sneakers.

He sat there, holding the hot beverage in his damp palms. One of his favorite things about this spot is the view. There was a huge window - one of the biggest in the shop - that showed the tall buildings and the essence of civilization. His eyes wandered around, watching people walk by, seeing happy couples or ones alone looking like they were in a rush to get somewhere. He saw a woman holding her briefcase up above her head in attempt to shield herself from the rain. But there was another person, a man in a dark blue pullover hoodie who caught his eye, running through the heavy downfall of rain using just a batch of news papers.

Baekhyun shook his head. It seemed ridiculous to him. A briefcase he could understand but a newspaper?

He averted his attention, grazing down the his beverage and held it up to his lips, parting them to welcome the well deserved sugary hot drink.

“Hey,” came a deep voice, startling Baekhyun as he lowered the styrofoam cup from his mouth. He glanced up seeing a fully drenched male - who seemed incredibly tall - and soon landed his gaze on his face. In that split second he felt their gazes lock, and it scared him. He swiftly lowered his head, fingers fiddling with the rim of the hot chocolate cup.

“Can I sit here?”

Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows.

“Why?” he asked, not even sparing another glance at the tall male.

The other chuckled and slid himself in the booth right across of Baekhyun. “Because I don’t want to sit alone and it seems like you could use the company.”

Baekhyun sipped his hot drink again, staring down at his cup the whole time.  He didn't want the other to sit with him.  He just wants to be alone. Wants to stay away from another invitation to pain. Nothing ever ends well. Nothing lasts forever.

"Uh Hi! I'm Chanyeol- Park Chanyeol."

Baekhyun glanced up, catching a glimpse of the others soaked dark blue hoodie and averting his eyes to look outside the window.

"Umm... I see you're a little quiet," Chanyeol sheepishly said, sounding a little nervous he isn't getting the response he wants.

Silence enveloped them. At the corner of Baekhyun's eye he saw Chanyeol trying to warm up his pale hands with his coffee.

"It's really cold isn't it?" Chanyeol started off, attempting to make a conversation with the other.

Baekhyun swiped his hand over the window, wiping away the fog. He nodded at the question while his lean fingers traced several lines on the wet surface.

"I should have brought my umbrella... it rained unexpectedly."

Unexpectedly. That's why I ...

"I love it," Baekhyun whispered, watching raindrops slide down the surface of the window.

"Really? Not much people enjoy the rain."

Baekhyun didn't respond to that. Instead, he whispered to himself, "because I am different... too different."

But Chanyeol heard it.

Baekhyun stood up, grabbing his drink and walking out of the booth. Walking away from another invitation of so called devastation. He knew that if he stayed longer, the other would think that he didn't mind his presence. And truthfully, Baekhyun did.

Little did he know, Chanyeol watched him leave with confused eyes hoping he would turn around and come back.

Chanyeol let out a sigh as the figure left the coffee shop, leaving him all alone. He moved over closer to the window, eyes instantly widening a bit and a smile growing across his lips.

The words 'Byun Baekhyun' written in small letters on the window.