You were trying to control your feelings and remain cool like always.

"Jinmin-ah" his voice a whisper "what's all this?" he still couldn't look at you. He didn't want to look at you.

That question took you aback "what?"

" why don't you just tell me everything about how did you get so high? Just to clear my ideas? "was he angry? His tone of voice was giving you shivers.

You stiffened " Get out of my house" you were borning inside. How dare he came and asked you about your private life? However he didn't let you go but your order made him look at you. He was feeling quite nervous and uneasy."What?" his voice didn't let you know any of his worries.

" what i'm saying is to mind your own business and leave!" your voice was getting louder. His eyes did let yours. You struggle to free yourself from his grip. That was just impossible. " Let me go" he didn't move " let me go…. Let me go!" Sehun was asking himself how could you be so angry because of a question. Could that be an attestation of the fact that you got helped selling yourself?

"Sehun, let me go! "

"i don't want to" he simply said.

That was so frustrating. You were quite a pridefull person even if those months you refrein yourself. The stupid idol that was in front of you was really capable of destroying all you worked on all that time.

"Why are you like this to me?"you could kill him if you realized yourself. That cold eyes you began to really hate them. " Why do you keep doing this to me? "

Good question. Why Sehun. You don't like her so why you have this desire ?

" don't say that you're not happy to have the attention of an idol" he raised  an eyebrow teasing you.

You smirked back " i don't need the attention of an idol." you caressed his cheek " but i just like the apperance of an idol" you didn't know where that would had led to but just tried.

"ahahah" you were looking at him that was know laughting fakely.

"Then there is not problem. We can play together. " was that a challenge?

" Okay" you said without thinking " but in the future don't take back what you just said !" you were getting closer to his face.

Sehun was amuzed by that game.

His breath was hitting on your lips. Your eyes still linked. "All without putting in middle feelings, ok?" he whispered. There was no more rationality. "Umm" was the only sound you could make to accept his deal.

He then pressed his lips on yours. They were so soft and sweet that you could stay like that forever. The kiss was rough, full of passion. His other hand moved to the back of your head and caressed your hair.

You replied with the same needing feelings. Your hand still on his cheek and the other on his borning chest. Your heart was betting fast and you felt like you were in other world.

Riiing          Riiing       Riing

Pham! Pham!Pham!

"Jinmin! Mun Jinmin! Open the door!"

Your closed eyes snapped open. Sehun slowly moved away his lips from yours. You looked at him and seen a bored face.

"i think is my dad" you stated shocked.

Ring Ring Ring  Now was your phone ringing. It was your father.

You took Sehun arm dragged him to the wardrobe nearby.

" I'm not gonna do this" he seriously said nodding towards the wardrobe and stopping you.

" yes, you are!" his face was funny. You couldn't stop from smiling while you pushed him in.

"Don't make any sound!"you said closing the doors.

"Jinmin! I know that you are home!!!!"

" Yes! I'm coming!" you shouted running to open the door. Your father was quite drunk.

"Finally!" said your father coming in.

You followed him. " Why are you here?"you asked.

"I came to check on you"after the incident you and your father had the worst relationship ever seen. Putted in an easy way, he treated you like .

You pretended that you didn't heard. You didn't want to fight with him. You didn't have guts. In that moment Sehun was there too so you wanted to solve everything in peace.

"Did you visit Maru?"  he said balancing himself leaning on the closet. You held your breath for a while before answering. Let's hope he doesn't open it.

" Yes. A night ago."

" You think thats enough?" he asked angryly. You thought that maybe his day didn't had gone well. This wasn't the first time that he vented on you his stress. You could withstand that.

" Do you think that you are doing enough for him? Buying this house, paying his stay at the hospital and all…. Do you think that you are paying your debt to him? Can we really call that debt? You ruined his life!You have a really big debt, eh?" you hated the way he talked about that matter. It was a touchy topic for you. But he just spat all over your face like you were an robot without tears, fears, regrets….

You didn't answer and that irritated him a lot. He frowned with stern eyes.

" I know what you are trying to do!" his statement sounded quite arrogant " You want to make me feel guilty. You do all this things so I am the bad one! I, that can't understand you! That i am cold-hearted! " he came closer to you and took your chin" Don't put this cold face in front on me. You are not cool and i am not the one unfair here. " your silence was droving him crazy. But you know that if you had said something wrong, things would have gotten worst. You couldn't stop yourself from thinking at Sehun that was listening.

Your eyes were low. " See you are doing that again." he let your chin " Do you think that this is unfair? Eh?"

Silence.

" ANSWER!" you froze. Your view blurred but you fought against the tears. It was humiliating.

"Sorry" you whispered.

" yeah. Of course sorry.You should say that to your brother every second. Maybe like that he can walk again." a tear escaped your eye.

" Are you crying? " he asked annoyed.

"No" you wiped the tear.

"Good because if you cry i will beat you. " he said going to the guest room. When he was drunk he slept there. You know for experience that he wouldn't have get out of the room until the next day. Your chest was ripping apart so you put your hand on it.It was a painful feeling that started from your chest and went to your throat. You knew that for a while was better to not talk because your voice would have cracked. You closed your eyes and swallowed before opening the door of the closet for Sehun and turn your back on him. "you can go" you whisperd.

He grabbed you from behind nd let his chin laid on your shoulder " It's okay. I will stay with you" you softed a bit because of his action. " you said that like i begged you to stay." he chuckled. 

Suddenly he stopped " i'm not gonna make questions. So let me stay." You nodded. Honestly you were happy to not be alone.

He freed you and went to your bedroom. It will be a loong night. You smiled to yourself and followed him.

He was laying on your bed. His hands behind the head and his left leg bent. He was like a God.

"Do you have something for me to wear? " you nodded and took some clothes of your brother and gave them to him.  " i'm going to wash" you nodded again.

You sat on your bed hugging your knees and closed your eyes, listening to the purring water.You sighed.

The sound of water stopped and after 5 minutes Sehun was back in the room. "What are you doing?" you opend your eyes at the sound of his voice. He was cooly wiping his hair. The view of him was really a call to heaven.

"Okay" he shrugged and laid on the bed. You were feeling forced to say something. What came out of your mouth was bitter and sad. You smile was bitter and your eyes sad too.

"What a cruel world. " you bitterly laughed " I just can't live anymore from lack of sympathy" those words were supposed to lighten a bit….. So you let the last sentence to yourself My dreams get crushed by reality.

"From now on i'll symphathize with you" he said like that would solve everything.

"Stop. If you are like this, i will become even more pitiful." you looked at him that was closing his eyes.

"Then what was our deal about?" he knew what was about but to be sure that you understood he wanted you to say it with your mouth.

You shrugged " Just because we are attracted to which other. We made the deal to pacify our bodies. No? You said no feelings.It's nothing." you were still looking at him. He didn't react. " We just need each other for a while"

"okay" he said opening his eyes "Now come here" he opened his arms. " Let's sleep. I'm tired"

You did comment but just executed the orders. You hugged him. You started to love that feeling. His slowly breathing, his profume, his muscles, his warmth…you could now feel them whenever you wanted. At the idea you smiled.

" Tomorrow you will work with us again?" he asked.

" Yes like today. First Jong Suk and after Exo and Kim Woo bin." your answer annoyed him a bit. " Didn't you have said that you will be our stylist?"

"yes but tomorrow i finish my contract with Wellmade and SidusHQ" you thought that it was a pity because you prefered to work with models and actors. With Idols you had always to make things fast.

His hand patted your head slowly and he hummed to you until you fall asleep.

_______________::::::::::::::::-_____________________________________________________________

Love him <3